NAIJA 4 U

So this is the recent condition of the Apapa-Oshodi Expressway in Lagos State, Nigeria, the so called self proclaimed Giants of Africa.
You see we the citizens are so so used to suffering in such a way that word "suffering" don turn from verb to Noun by force.....Therefore nowadays we dey see suffer on a daily basis. We have accepted him, he has really blended into our society, and he's so comfortable now and my guy isnt thinking of going back to where he came from anytime soon.

Maybe Mr. Suffer go pack im bag whenever we decide to take the steps that Egypt & Libyaare doing. But the main question is "DO WE HAVE THE MIND/LIVER/BALLS TO START SUCH MOVEMENT?"   :(

HELLO NAIJA

Ok my peeps i'm sure u guys have noticed that i've not been posting  a lot of stories lately. Anyways abeg make una no vex jare. I've been very very very busy trying to stay on my grind na. But my busy days are almost over, so i should continue my normal everyday postings soon

But i'm so so so excited cos i dey enter Naija this week ehh. I don tire for Obodo Onyibo ehh, so make i go breathe small fresh air..i mean polluted air for some time. At least make man try go see how im go make this paper for thia ehh....and trust me i mean making money in a clean way, cos i'm not into duping people, stealing money or all other crazy bullcrap wey guys some guys dey do for thia.

And i also dey excited cos i know i'll see a lot of crazy ass sh** ehh....Therefore I go dey with my camera on a 24/7 basis in order to capture any crazy stuff that I see....and then share it with the Nawa 4 U community. So I go dey post pictures and news often (opefully the internet connection no go dey like snail this time around)

But the only thing wey just dey tre me be say by the time u reach there now, the only thing u go just dey hear from peeps nah "what did you bring for me from America?"   u know ive been this close to telling some peeps "na u dey pay my electricity, phone, rent, insurance, hot water and cable monthly fees wey u dey ask me "what did u bring for me from America huh?
When dem see person dey come from Yankee, dem go think say that person hold correct dollars for pocket. Anyways i guess me sef go start to dey feel the same way about people wey dey Naija...I go start  to dey ask people for Naija "wetin dem get for me" cos i no carry money com cos dem lay me off from work.....at least its good sometimes for the hunted to become the hunter nah :)

But yeah, i look forward seeing all the craziness in Naija (although i know its same ole sh** and nothing has changed). But seriously tho, i just cant wait to come out of the door of that Lagos Airport and feel that hot damp, polluted air blow on me, and start including carbon-monoxide in my everyday menu while i'm there.  NAIJA 4 LIFE EHH :)

ONLY IN NAIJA!!!

U know only in Naija that crazy things like this happened.  To be honest, i think most Naija peeps die mainly through car accidents......Everyday, some people just meet their untimely death through car accidents. Its just way too pathetic. If car no cath fire, then car dey jam car, or trailer dey jam car, or trailer dey jam trailer, or fire catch car.....so many crazy a** bullsh** for real. Too many bad roads. Too many reckless drivers that shouldnt even own a license in the first place. Too many bullsh** goin on in our transportation system.

Just take a look at this horrific scene that occured in Lagos. why why why? In the process of this trailer trying to dodge an okada, the driver rammed into the SUV....and yes that car under the container is a Hundai SUV.  Then the container fell on the car, killing the driver, who just dropped his kids off at school.

If we start to dey count the number of souls wey our roads don take ehhn, we no go finish the list even till next week.

I remember when i went to Naija in 2009 with my wife, who's a black American, and also her first time in Naija... so i decided we should take a road trip from Lagos to PH, so that she could see the terrain all all that good stuff. Only the way the driver even drive commot from the motor park sef ehhn, my woman start to dey fear. Not even 1hr into the journey, na so person slide commot from the bus wey dey for our front. Which shwed that the door was not closed well, and if no be say we kept a good distance from the bus, our driver for don crush the guy wey fall for road. My wife was like WTF.....i told her not to panic, cos na just minor mistake. As we dey come dey go, when we reach that Lagos Benin Express way, na im we just enter the other coming lane of the road, due to the bad road on our side....again my wife was like "Are u guys for real"?.....na im i tell her yes ohh we are for real, but dont worry this is nothing serious......throughout the journey, we just dey see so many crazy ass things for road. We been see tanker trailer wey fall for the other side of the road and fuel just spill everywhere.....this time my woman no even look me sef....i can remember all she just said was "Oh Lord pls guide us in this journey". Then the one way just make her krase na when we reach one area for Delta state, and our useless police just use one big ass tree cover the road, all in the name of checkpoint. Na im my woman just shout "Where Da Heck am I Yo?".........HA HA HA Laught no just gree me ehh, na im just tell her "well this is Naija for u..welcome to our world" unfortunately :(

(vanguard online)

NAIJA MAN SHOOTS WIFE IN ATL......

Okay so this bush-baby looking fella right here has been arrested in Atlanta for shooting his wife 5 times....as in 5 times ehh

The wife, described by a source as a hard working registered nurse in the Atlanta area, survived the shooting and is currently hospitalized


umm why am i even acting like i'm surprised sef?To be honest, when i saw the headlines of this news, the first thing that came into my mind was that the Wife would def be a nurse.....and Im just so so so right. This no be the first time wey i don talk about all these Naija women that come here and turn to nurses, feeling they making too much money and try to frustrate or fight with their husband all the time. And also i feel the husbands to most of these nurses no even go skul sef, or the just being lazy......and i feel its that point where these women (nurses) go nuts and decide to act as the bread/butter winner of the family....


But come to think of it ohh, for a Naija man to get mind to shoot im wife here in America, and knowing the consequences involved....then u can def tell that the man don go thru a whole lot of pains from that woman eh...my bro i feel ur pain, but shooting ur own wife hasnt solved the problem nah....dumbassssss!!!! 

HA HA when will all these lame/wack ass Naija men stop going to Naija to marry these ibotic women and bringing them to America?...Anyways me go keep on laughing shaa....na so last two yrs, one Naija man just shot his wife stright in the head, called the cops, and told them to come arrest him asap cos he's happy he has accomplished his mission......nawa ohh....
 and before i even forget, this fool's name is Maximillian Ezimora.   WTF!!!!!???....



(saharareporters.com)

THE GOAT CREW.....

U see only God knows the kind of things that be going on in that country called Naija. So our useless poilce actually gunned down one of the members of an armed gang that specializes in stealing goats...YES U HEARD ME RIGHT....GOATS!!!....
Upon all the nice attractive things to thief from in this world, na goat come be this guys their problem.  well i guess thats Naija...the land where people will do the strangest things in order to survive :(

In the encounter, they reportedly opened fire on the police patrol team. In the shoot-out between the suspects and the police, one of the robbers fell to police bullets, while the other gang members fled before the police got to the vehicle.
Aremu said items recovered from the vehicle included 40 goats (all of them were she-goats) with six of them dead, while 34 goats were still alive.
He added that the goats, most of which were pregnant, had their mouths tied with masking tape.

U GOTTA BE F**KING KIDDING ME RIGHT??

(punchng.com)

EVERYBODY NEEDS SOME KOOL FUN.....HA HA

So 9ice's ex-wife, Tony Payne was seen with a new dude (who actually looks like 9nice too in terms of their lekpaness). Well i guess its been a yr and life goes on..so let her do her thang.

But what i still dont understand is this: Why is this girl still making news tho? cos as far as i dey concerned, she be one very very unattractive lady....Just looking at her face alone dey give me one kind head-ache so..........Therefore i believe it would be very nice if we could stop hearing about anything she does, cos she no dey contribute anything to our lives at all :)

When u hear of the name "Tony Payne" for the first time, i swear u go dey expect say u go see one kind fine chick (cos of how cool the name sounds)  Only for person to find out say the housegial no just live up to that kind name at all.

WHO WILL BE BABAYARO'S SUPER HERO :(

Remember this dude?..........Mr Celestone Babayaro. One of the big names in Naija fotball....Well well well, my guy have officially been declared bankrupt, and all the creditors are now on his neck. Dem talk say my guy don broke, sotey his family even had to go beg his next door neighbor for a lawn mower to use and cut the grass for im house for middlesex for UK. ..........as in a whole Olympic Gold medalist ohh....and person wey been dey earn 25,000 pounds at one point .

Anyways i guess thats what happens when u are a tout/illiterate who just becomes rich overnight...what else would u do but to go around spending ur money recklessly. and now you back to square one.....and there's no way he can reduce his age again in order to play football :) .........u see that Obafemi Martins guy almost got into this ridiculous situation too, but the only luck wey im get be say he's still playing football.

U see I just cant imagine how person wey dem dey pay like 50,000 Pounds a week, but yet im account still dey go overdraft. Anyways anybody wey know uncle Cele should tell him say make im contact me, cos i could actually borrow him some money shaa....cos i cant just sit here and continue to dey see as this guy dey fall both im own hand and our hand join too :)

THIS IS WHY I LUV MY COUNTRY .....

So a Court in London sentenced this boy's mumsi to eight months in jail, cos she sent my guy back to Naija due to the kind of lifestyle he was living, which she didnt like at all at al

But nawa to Western countries ohh....to send ur pikin go back im papa land na crime again?..shoooooo.... Anyways shaa i guess when u in Rome u gotta behave like the freaking Romans. and i guess thats why these western countries progress too though, cos dem no dey play with anything that gats do with human rights n stuff.

But F**k that yo....how person no go fit discipline im own pikin again sef?...say wetin happen nah......My lil boy just turned 10 months last weekend, and although im no fit talk or even understand wetin person dey talk, but me dey always remind am say whenever he turns into a teenager, and im open im mouth to shout at me ehhn...CHAI...na for inside the deep farms in Nkwerre Local Govt area of Imo state wey im go dey do im summer vacations...and i mean it when i say it...cos children of these days need more than iron hand.

Anyways shaa make our ambassador to UK go tell them say no be so we dey do am for Naija oh...which kind fuckery be this sef

BUTT IMPLANTS GOES WRONG

Hello guys, meet Claudia Aderotimi. She's an aspiring Naija hip-hop artist based in London. But unfortunately she cannot aspire anymore....why?...cos she just recently died from the complications of  a butt implant surgery.

So the 20 yrs old babe flew to Philly in Yankee to go undergo her butt implants surgery. I could just imagine how excited she was about how she go just dey use her nyash dey hypnotize us :(
But right after the surgery, she started suffering chest pains and had trouble breathing....and before u know wetin dey happen, our dear Claudia don mud :(

ALL IN THE NAME OF FREAKING BUTT IMPLANTS!!!

Can u just imagine being a member of her grieving family right now...imagine trying to explain to someone that ur cousin/niece/daughter/sister etc. died of nyash implants :(
?????????????

(www.metro.co.uk)

NAWA OHH!!!

I'm still trying to figure out what was running inside this bride's head during her ride in that keke....and i also follow dey imagine wetin the keke driver go dey even think too......HA HA

U know say na for this kind situation wey women go just dey give excuses in order to console themselves. u gon hear things like "yes i love my husband and money is not everything" or u gon hear "I dont care what drives me to the church, as long as i'm happy to finally get married to the man of my dreams"....ha ha na so....but from the look of this woman face, u can tell she's not thinking bout all that crap. she dey like say she wan go funeral service sef :)

The keke drive on the other hand go dey say "nawa for this woman ohh" or "chai this woman don fall her hand scatter" or "why im be say na keke wey she decide to use ke" or "men the guy wey dey marry this woman don f**k up biggest time ehh"

Well, whatever the case may be, one thing i know for sure is that no condition is permanent. But at the end of the day shaa, u gats give this woman credit jare....see liver in the highest level nah. I wish i was there cos i would really love to see who her husband is too :)  
Naija 4 life ehh

ANOTHER CRAZY FORUM QUESTION!!!

So I was in this Naija online forum, and some clown posted smth which i found very interesting and weird for some reason.  read below

ma ppl wonders neva sieze to end..
Hilary is a gudfriend of mine.,who brought a complain to me dat his girl is abt walking away.,simply bcos he denied her sex.
Hilary said he wanted a new life,a life wt christ,a life wt a meaning. He seriously wanted a new life wt God n end his life of sin., n wants to start by ending his sex life.
Wen his girl came n wanting to ve sex,hilary denied her n told her abt his new decisn,d girl broke lose and bursted out in anger n rage,threatning to end d relatnship if hilary does nt change his mind.
Nw hilary is confused.he love his girl n dnt want to lose her. What shd he do?


Anyways i actually dont have much to say bout this case, cos it has to do with the guy trying to get closer to God...and me can never never ever say anything negative when it has to deal with my one and only personal personal Savior u know :)
So i have no option than to advice my guy to shun the babe and follow the path that pleases him and GOD u know. Hopefully he will meet a babe wey no dey get along with Mr dick, or anything that even looks, feels or sounds like him ;)


But what really no just understand for the post be this.......WHEN DA HECK DID GUYS START ANSWERING HILARY FOR GOODNESS SAKE...WTF???
All these naija guys wey dey answer female names ehhn....Hilary, Ngozi, Chika...i weedah ohh.....Anyways i have good news for u guys... if u a guy above 18, and u have a girlie name, trust me i know deep inside urself u do not like ur name, but u feel there's nothing u can do about it, since its wasnt ur choice, but ur parent's.....Well find a way to kidnap, tie and bundle ur so called parents, and ask them why they tried to experiment on you. But if u above 18, then all u need do is get ur ass up, go to a nearby court, and ask for a "change of name" form...then officially change that sh**, cos it aint cute at all

RAPE #21

A 55 yr old man was arrested for raping a 12r old girl in Imo State


"While in that place, Innocent Opara lured Chinyere into a nearby bush and forcefully had unlawful carnal knowledge of her in the full glare of her friend. It was further gathered that after the illicit act, the suspect gave Chinyere N100 and her friend N10 to cover his heinous crime", the DCP recounted.


Mehn the kind crazy ish wey dey happen for all these villages for Naija ehhn...no be small ehh....To be honest i think that dude's dick shuld definitely be cut off,  and he shuld be sentenced to life, with hard labor untop. I dont just see why these nasty old men would take joy in defiling lil kids.....
Firstly, who da heck gives someone N10 in freaking 2011.... wretched ass ibotic dude trying to bribe a lil gurl. 
U see this whole raping of minors is becoming so rampant in Naija..........What happened to those days of Jerking off huh? 




(vanguardngr.com)

ONLY IN CALABAR :)

So this Youth Corper narrowly escaped death after she was shot by her landlord....why?....cos she was mistaken for an antelope?????????????????????
????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????? antelope ke.....nawa for this story ohh

She said on the morning of the fateful day at about 5:45 a.m., she had gone to the nearby bush at the  back of the house, which is a cassava farm owned by the village headmaster.  While there son of the  headmaster joined her in the bush and soon left in a hurry only for the father to come out with a gun  and fire at her.


WTF???......wait a min...is it just me or does anyone just dont believe this whole fuckery????...Firstly u a freaking local/village headmaster for goodness sake, so how da heck can u not differentiate between an antelope wey get 4 legs, and a human being?....and also, u no go see wetin u wan shoot before u start to pull trigger? This man look full grown woman finish dey call her antelope.....chai
This story no just clear my eye at all. These Calabar peeps ehhn...me dey always use one eye for corner dey look dem :)

but me go also blame the chick jare....wetin she dey do with headmaster pikin inside bush @ 5:45am???....huh?...

and the worst of all be say instead of them to carry the babe go hospital for further treatment, dem decide to use the native way... WHY WHY WHY WHY?...chai..anyways, pele my sis :(


(p.m.news)

BOKO HARAM = RETARDS...YUP I SAID IT :)

So this f**kers are giving the govt conditions in order to enable its members to stop killing innocent Nigerians.

The group said it would stop inflicting pains on the people if the Borno State Governor, Senator Ali Modu Sheriff, steps down from office with immediate effect and also allow members to reclaim their mosque in Maiduguri, Borno State capital.
The group’s leader, Abu Suleiman, who gave the conditions while speaking on the British Broadcasting Corporation, BBC, Hausa Service interview, monitored in Kaduna yesterday, insisted that government must withdraw all security personnel on the streets of Maiduguri, adding that no persons will be harmed any longer as soon as the appropriate authorities meet the conditions


First of all, who da heck are these retards in the scheme of things?...and why da heck are they allowing this their so called leader walk freely on the streets?....and why da heck do they think our govt should negotiate with local terrorists? Most of my closest pals are muslims, and they sure dont support this bullcrap...u see Naija na one very crazy ass country for real...I stll dont know why our govt cannot tighten up our security and prevent these ungry bastards from sneaking into our country from Chad and Niger.....
Anyways make dem no carry all that their nonsense come for east ohh...cos na there wey dem go know say power pass power :)


(vanguardngr.com)

SPECIAL TYPE OF STRONG MAN EHH...

So one Mr. Masaba man is suing INEC for discrimination bcos him, his 86 wives and other members of his families numbering up to 5000 were denied registration by some political touts in their area (where else but the north..ha ha)

HA HA HA HA ....but come to think of it, nothing wey person no go hear for Naija...everyday its all always one thing or the other.....this is one of the reasons why I just luv my country for real.

How da heck can one man marry 86 women....upon say those days of Solomon them done pass tay tay. Life must be really good for my guy eh...DAYUM.....1 man, 86 wives, 5000 family members......my guy done create im own village nah :)

It was learnt that the thugs specifically prevented INEC officials from registering the Masaba family and that security operatives allegedly refused to come to his rescue.
The lawyer to the family, Mr. Shehu Jubril, told our correspondent in Minna, Niger State, that over 10 hoodlums frustrated efforts of the Masabas to register.


Wait a min....As in WTF YO........so dem dey try tell me say only 10 thugs been dey chance this whole family, and the man get mind dey even talk am for public.....See major falling of hand nah.......all bunch of pricks.....smchew




(www.directory-nigeria.org)

U LIKE AM?...OR U NO LIKE AM?

So this na th epic wey Mercy Johnson tweeted during the set of that her new movie wey dem dey shoot for Enugu....I'm assuming this was right before she became a baldy...or maybe not (this is the time u go really appreciate wig)

Ummm.....but wait ohh..is it just me or there's smth not just right about this whole outift she got on :)
Dont get me wrong ohh..i think she kinda looks nice in it....but i been dey think say she for don do better than this nah...Ok lets try to accept the whole purple thing she got goin on...BUT THAT GOLD BAG????.....nawa oh......even krase person go know say that bag na real outcast for this pic.....

To be honest i think most of these Naija celebs need to learn how to dress.....cos they be wearing some real crazy ass looking sh** sometimes :)

WHO GO WATCH MATCH EHH???

So our Super chickens...oops i meant Super eagles, will be playing a friendly Sierra Leone on Feb 9th at the Lagos Stadium....i would have also posted the name of the starting squad for our Eaglets, but i wasnt interested in doing that. what i'm still asking myself is this......When da heck did Sierra Leone get a National Team?

Make una no get me wrong ohh...ofcourse i know almost all African nations get their national squad...but there are some kind of countries u cannot even imagine them playing ball, talkless of having a national team....and countries like Sierra Leone, Namibia, Burundi, Burkina Faso, Niger Republic etc. all fall into that category :(
Anyways u never know what coul happen shaa....i wont be surprised one bit if dem even tear us sef. Ha Ha Ha.....my uncle Siasia dey find country wey im go use shine.
Goodluck ladies :)

THANKS TO WIKILEAKS

The Nigerian government refused to discuss a prisoner transfer agreement with Britain unless the Crown Prosecution Service dropped corruption charges against a favoured member of the ruling party, leaked documents disclose.
 James Ibori, a member of the ruling People's Democratic Party, is accused of stealing more than £196m of state funds and channelling 'dirty money' to Britain Photo: GETTY
By Heidi Blake 2:26PM GMT 04 Feb 2011
Britain is keen to secure an agreement allowing the transfer of more than 400 prisoners back to Nigeria. There are currently more than 1,000 Nigerian inmates in British jails – costing the taxpayer around £40m a year.
But talks over the agreement stalled after Britain refused to drop charges aganst James Ibori, a member of the ruling People's Democratic Party, who is accused of stealing more than £196m of state funds and channelling "dirty money" to Britain. A diplomatic cable from the US embassy in London claims that Nigeria's attorney general attempted to blackmail British officials into abandoning the corruption case against Mr Ibori, the former governor of the oil-rich Delta state. The cable sent to Washington in May 2009 states: "Nigerian Attorney General (AG) Michael Aondoakaa has directly told the UK the [Government of Nigeria] will not begin negotiations on the PTA unless the UK drops its case against former Delta State Governor James Ibori and his associates". 


U see i find this info very very interesting, informative and painful at the same time....So while the UK is trying to help us fight corruption by trying to bring this fool to justice, our govt is trying everything they cold in order to get him released and go scott free?


AND U TRYING TO TELL ME WE ARE GETTING BETTER AS A COUNTRY???..nawa to these people ohh.


(www.telegraph.co.uk)

NAWA TO PEOPLE OHH!!!

So one middle-aged man named Ahmed was arrested by the police for attempting to rob a new generation bank somewhere in Minna, with the help of his juju. They said a bank official suddenly spotted my guy in the bulk room packing Naira notes into the Ghana must go back that he came with (ha ha...still wondering how he came with the bag shaa)

However, the bank member, who saw Ahmed taking the money into the bag, reportedly tapped him on the back and asked him what he was doing there.......LMAO.....see question ehh
Alarm was later raised and the man was arrested.
When questioned, Ahmed, who had the charms under the dress he wore, allegedly said he had been in the business for some time and that the charm was given to him by his grandfather.


He said with the aid of the charm he had the power to disappear from anywhere and would not be seen while raiding any bank.

EHHN.....NA SO...Story Story, story.....for my language, we call this AKUKO.
For some reason i'm just wondering if he wasnt caught, then how would he teleport himself along with the fat Ghana-must-go back he came along with?....or why didnt he even disappear when the banker saw him. Its freaking 2011 and someone wants us to believe that he has the power of disappearing and appearing into a bank safe?......i know there's a lot of witchcraft and all other crazy ass things going on in Naija, but if people actually believe what this guy is saying, then i will certainly  know that we really really have a long way to go in Naija..........what FUCKERY!!!????


(tribune.com)

MERCY GOT DA MONEY IN THE BANK!!!!

Okay the numbers are out. So Mervy Johnson reportedly shaved her hair in the movie for N5milla.....Umm not bad at all tho....at least knwoing the fact say ur hair go grow again in just a lil time, and she will beging to look somewhat attractive and human again. Cos as far as i dey concerned, this her bald hair is totally a turn off i swear. Umm well as for me, i think that was a great move she did tho. If to say na u wey dem tell to cut hair for even N1 milla, u no go do am?
ha ha nothing u do aunty Mercy. We dey believe u jare...although this ur new look no just try at all :(

NA WHO COME BE THE MUGU FOR HIA?....HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
You see  i'm still trying to find out who is the real Mugu in this picture. I know at a glance, u guys have already concluded that the onyibo man na the mugu for the pic bcos we feel the woman is going to use him to get her papers/pale and all that good stuff.

But as far as i'm concerned, i can arguably say that this woman could even be the mugu too....Come on.....She looks like the real definition of that word "mugu"....what if the guy dey actually marry her so that he will use her for his research?     :(