MYSTERY OF PREGNANT FEMALES IN KIRIKIRI........HA HA

Umm sometime early last year, I did read something about female prisoners in Kirikiri that where either pregnant or already had their babies while in prison. And efforts have been made in order to free these babies, but i no come know wetin dey hold them till today. I guess its our useless government system. In Naija ehhn, nothing is being done properly at a specific period. I guess its cos there's no accountability whatsoever....who's to be blamed?  :(


Anyways yeah...so I came across this story which said that the amount of babies in Kirikiri was becoming alarming, and drastic measures needed to be taken.....na real akuko be this.....So since last yr una never take drastic measures shey?....Naija ehhn...we seriously need prayers for real..cos I do feel Naija is the only country on earth were everything works abnormally.
So now they are trying to investigate how these women become pregnant. was it before they came to prison, or after?

But a puzzle that will remain unsolved is not only how these babies got in there, but rather that most of these babies were conceived after the suspect mothers got into detention or started serving terms. Saturday Sundug into that mystery and discovered that there could be some inexplicable mystery of conception in a prison or detention cell other than what human beings know. Maybe, in prison cells conception is contagious, airborne or waterborne.


Yeah Yeah Yeah "conception is contagious" my foot....all that one na blah blah blah blah.......as far as I dey concerned, SOMEONE WAS F**KING DEM BIATCHES INSIDE THAT PRISON....PERIOD!!!.... there's no need beating around the bush...JEEZ

and this crazy looking dude right here is the Mr. Oguntuase, the Lagos prison boss.


Umm is anyone thinking what I'm thinking?    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 


(daily sun)

TO SOME OF MY NAIJA GUYS....STOP THE RAPE!!!

Like seriously, whats up with some Naija men and rape?  Cos this has gotten out of hand. if u no hear about a man raping his neighbor's daughter, then u go hear about a man raping his housegirl.
But this particular story, me sef no just understand. So the Ekiti State police just arrested a man for allegedly raping his 9yr old daughter. As in ehhn this one don pass sodom and Gomorah for real. I'm just trying to imagine what on earth would actually make a man want to screw his own daughter wey im know the time when dem born her. Infact why would a man want to rape a lil girl or a grown ass woman? what happened to jerking off huh? nawa ohh
Anyways I think I've come to conclusion that some human beings are actually suppose to be born in the animal kingdom, but somehow they just found themselves trapped in a human's body. And mind you, they still possess some of those animal characteristics.

The suspect,James Bond( not the British actor) who was picked up from his Balogun street, in Oke-Ode area of Erio-Ekiti, was reportedly caught while having carnal knowledge of his daughter.

Report said one of the tenants was attracted by a groaning from the suspect's apartment at about 6pm, last Tuesday. Out of curiosity, the tenant, a female, was said to have peeped through the window , only to behold the sacrilegious act.
The concerned neighbor alerted policemen at Aramoko division , consequent upon which James Bond was arrested.


You see, At first when I was reading the news, I thought this was a joke or smth. Why would someone name himself James Bond. So our Police and New reporters are trying to tell us that they couldnt identify this dude's real name? and dem get mind to write "James Bond (not the British actor)".....DUHH ofcourse we all know its not the British actor, cos first of all, WTF will he be doing in Ekiti State of all places huh?  Abeg Vanguard news, we Naija peeps are not that dumb abeg (Umm ok I take it back...cos if someone could actually ask if Amy Winehouse was the owner of wineshop, then we def got a lot of dumb a** peeps in Naija..ha ha)


Anyways shaa i'm very disappointed cos i know say this no be my guy real name...and when some peeps read this story, dem go think say na joke....WHEN IT ISN'T. But at the end of the day, This dude did rape his daughter, which i feel is one of the most disgusting things I've heard. My guy definitely needs to be sent to firing squad. no negotiation whatsoever jare.
And whats very disturbing is that this is just the one that was caught ohh...then can you imagine how many men (and not just naija men alone, but all other men around the world..esp in Africa) that are involved in sh** like this :(


(vanguardonline)

ONLY IN NAIJA

Ok so check this out....Three armed robbers went to a residential area to do their operation...and this was around 8:30pm ohh. They then went into one of the apartments, which unknown to them, was that of one police man like that. Na so dem enter gun battle ohh....and after the whole gun ginger wey been last for some few minutes, one bullet unfortunately hit the police constable on his chest...na so my guy just fall, gbosaaaaaa. But mind you, my guy no give up ohh, cos while he was on the floor, im just manage to tear  one of the robbers for their belle (as in this scenerio just resemble those type of action film them wey we dey see for tv) then the robbers ran away.
It even gets more crazier. So the police crime alert were immediately contacted and the got to the scene (after everything was over....as usual), and took their dying colleague to the nearest private hospital in order to save his life. But guess what??????????
As dem reach for the hospital, they discovered that the workers were on strike.  WTF!!!!!
Anyways in the process of finding another hospital, my guy lost so much blood and gave up the ghost jare.
You see its only in Naija that you will take a dying person do the hospital, and you find out that the workers are on strike........or even if the hospital is open, the doctors and nurses are so f**king lazy and careless, and only their facial expressions alone ehhn, you can literally see that they dont really give a f**k about the dying person. Even sef na that time wey dem go dey do everything so damn slow. And in some hospitals, if you dont have money to deposit right there, even if you like, make blood dey gush out from your head, or u get convusion......none of the staff go send for you at all. Even sef na that time wey dem go even tell you to go find where you go borrow money come, before dem attend to you.
Education system.....fail
Health System.......fail
Legal system.....fail
Security nko.....fail
Matter of fact, is our government good at anything sef? Nawa ohh

(vanguardonline)

ANOTHER "FEEL AMONG" PEEPS.......HA HA

(shout out to Chichi Dora for providing this useless chat)




You see one thing I've noticed about we Naija peeps be say nobody wan carry last at all. Everybody wan dey act like say dem dey very current with wetin dey happen around the world. And the painful thing be say na even the local ibotic peeps dey do this kind thing pass.....cos dem no wan dey left out when people dey yarn important gists. And facebook has made it even worse, cos now when there's a good or bad news about a particular celebrity, people post it on their status.....and in order for this ibotic individuals to feel among, dem go just copy that same status and put on theirs.....at least make im dey like say dem dey current too nahh...ha ha.
And the rate at which fake news, wrong news, exaggerated news dey spread for Naija ehhn.....its just nuts!!!!

Wait ohh....So the second commenter had the nerves to correct the first, and yet im no even sabi wetin im dey yarn. How the heck are you going to correct someone else when your own correction doesnt make any damn sense. I no just understand ohh. And the person even had the nerves to put parenthesis sign on Winehouse, just to make sure that the first commenter sees the correction well well. "Amy Winehouse was an NTA newscaster for 27yrs ke?" Pls can someone tell me where da heck do these peeps get these ridiculous information from :(
Doesnt sh** like this just piss you off, especially when you see someone actually saying sh** like this with ease and confidence...like say dem been dey there when the thing been happen. ha ha

HA HA HA HA HA ........WOW!!!

(ha ha ...Betty this one too much ehh)

HA HA HA HA ...I DON DIE WAKE UP AGAIN EHH........WHY WOULDNT YOU JUST LOVE US......

SEE QUESTION EHHHH...

see as the person even ask the question with confidence....like say im really know the owner of Wineshop :)

ASHEWO DEY CONFESS HOW SHE TAKE KILL ONE GUY SO....

So a 21 yr old lady/ashy known as Koforowola, has been arrested by the police for stabbing a man to death over argument of giving oral sex :)

So she was going to work (night shift as usual nah), and a driver stopped and offered her a ride, and promised not to take any money from her, since it wasn't a commercial vehicle. She was very grateful to the guy....una suppose know how free ride dey sweet for Naija nah :)

Kofoworola, (other names are being withheld by us) said she never knew that danger was lurking around the corner until the driver, identified as Patrick, refused to stop at her destination - Monalido Night Club, Apapa. Kofoworola said when she protested, the driver brought out a knife and threatened to kill her if she failed to do his bidding. Ironically, it was Kofoworola that ended up killing the man with that same knife. How did it happen?

“He threatened to kill me with the knife if I refused to perform oral sex on him,” she said. “He said I should use my mouth to stimulate his manhood. I told him I could not do it. I had never done such a thing before. I begged him and even told him that such act irritates me and would make me vomit. All my pleading fell on deaf ears. I later told him to allow me ease myself. I told him I was not going to run because my bag was on the back seat. He stopped the vehicle, but as I wanted to come down, he sped off again

WAIT wait wait wait wait!!!......HA HA HA ....I dont get it. What did I just hear......Ashewo rejecting to give blow-job when it comes to a do or die situation??.......Maybe this chick dey think say she dey talk to people wey dey primary school for real. How da heck is anyone suppose to believe some Bullsh** like this? Infact i no go even talk much cos this is just hilarious jare. Imagine being a professional at what you do best...ok lets use a doctor. So imagine being doctor right,...and someone puts a gun on your head and tells you to either treat their infected wound sharp sharp, or im go forget im bullet for your head.

Therefore that shows you how so so ridiculous this lady's story is.

(daily Sun)

ANOTHER 9ICE AND TONY WAHALA....NAWA OHH

Yeah so I was reading this news about 9ice and Tony Payne. I'm sure most of us know that they got divorced like 2 yrs ago. And sometime last year, I saw an article talking about their bitter divorce and how dem just dey point finger at each other....9ice talk say.....Tony talk say....and Rugged man talk say....HA HA.  I'm sure some of us were aware of that incident then. I decided to post that news on Nawa4U. But while I was writing, I noticed I wasnt even showing so much enthusiasm, and smth inside me was saying "who send for this people sef?" But i still posted it shaa....for posting sake....ha ha.

But this time around, another news involving both of them don come up again. This time, dem just dey talk about how Tony Payne don dey find different different ways to get back together with 9ice. Talking about how she might have moved back in to 9ice's house and blah blah blah blah....

According to several impeccable sources, Payne's startling about-face happened last Thursday when she came to the house demanding to see the father of her child but was prevented from entering.

"She called 9ice several times but he didn't pick the call because he had been told she was at the gate. He came with a male friend even. What angered 9ice was that she didn't pre-inform him of her visit," E-Punch source says.

She left without blowing a fuse, only to return the following day. This time, Payne brought along with her the only product of the short-lived marriage, Zion, and she was allowed in without much ado. Payne was in the house until Wednesday morning. The source further says, "Throughout the time she spent in the house, she was always cooking, trying to worm her way back into 9ice's heart but he didn't eat the food because he's trying to be careful."

NAWA OHH.....E-punch una don come. This basically sounds like it could be a scenario in one of those our Naija movies, were the woman comes back to her husbands house and cooks for him....but he's scared to eat cos he doesnt want to be poisoned, and dies, and then she takes all his property, and runs away, and his family go come dey attack her..and all that blah blah blah......HA HA...typical Naija scheme

Anyways at the end of the day, WHO CARES?????  and to be honest, I dont just know why this babe is even popular sef.....But one thing i know for sure is her fame is definitely not cos of her beauty :)

(punch)

WHICH KIND FLYER BE THIS KE??? NAWA TO OUR CHURCHES JARE

(Betty u to much ehh)


Wait oh....I'm totally lost here....First of all, why is God offering husbands all of a sudden, like say scarcity of husbands been dey before? Secondly, is he offering 1000 husbands that day, or is that 1000 the gate fee in order for the ladies to come in and start their husband selection? If none of the above, then I wonder what that 1000 is doing there shaa.

Just trying to imagine what this event looked like....Okay as a woman enters the church, there's a long line of men, and she's given the opportunity to choose any one of them...pretty much a "point &  kill situation" u know; Or maybe a lottery will be conducted with the names of all the prospective husbands inside the big spinning drum, and whichever names hand picked out first would become the woman's husband, whether she like am or not; Or maybe the pastor would be the one to decide who marries who, and who marries what? (yes i used the word "what" cos i know say no be everyman for there go dey normal...ha ha )

I just dont get it.....I still dont get it....and I no sure say i go get am anytime soon.
I wonder if someone I know actually went for this crap, cos i would really love to know what type of technique was used in this husband selection process :)

But whatever the case my be, one thing I can say for sure be say this is just another avenue to promote immoral sexual acts within the church, as well as divorce. Cos at the end of the day, most of these will only do boyfriend and girlfriend, hump the living daylight out of each other, fulfilling their sexual desires, and not getting married at the end of the day, either cos of one thing or the other. And I'm sure most of us know that Naija now has one of the highest divorce rates...and this is seen mostly among the young couples who are in their late 20's and early 30's. As in ehhn , I no just know why. You go see two peeps so in love with each other, have a fantastic wedding, and in less than a year, u go hear say dem don divorce. As in ehhhn, its getting too rampant these days......and I'm very sure that this husband search thing wey this church wan do, go definitely help us in becoming the number 1 country with the most divorce rate....KUDOS.

And the craziest thing bout this whole thing be say that day, the women wey go dey there go plenty scatter ehh...ha ha. I also feel a lot of Naija females are being pressured by their parents to get married before a certain age, and if you dont, they just make a big scene out of it.......The pressure is way too much, and I believe this is a major reason why a lot of women fall into the hands of the wrong guyzes (apart from money).  If Mr. Right comes at the right time, fine!!!...but if he doesent, then dont be a desperado, all just cos u want to impress your parents (and friends sometimes)...JEEEZ......

Well at the end of the day, i just feel the negative part of this Husband search thingy will definitely outweigh the positive aspect...Period!! Only in Naija churches you see bullsh** like this...ha ha

DEM DON COME AGAIN.....HA HA

(Betty nawa for you and these pics ohh..ha ha)


Okay this has officially gotten out of hand. Wetin be this ke? What's actually the aim of some of these Naija dudes taking all dem ridiculous sissy pics. I just dey imagine who actually thought about using purple flowers to design the area, as well as covering his genetalia area? For that person mind nah, im go dey think say im be creative director...ha ha

Also trying to figure out if these type of crazy pics are intended for public or personal usage. I guess the later, cos to be honest, i cannot even imagine seeing this pixsure in any magazine. But at the same time, the amount of seriousness, intensity and commitment wey these so called models dey put for this picture ehhn.....even all these Armani exchange and Calvin Klein models no dey this gingered and inspired....ha ha

And I'm sure most of una wey sabi me well know say sometimes, I dey like do crazy gay poses for some of my pictures for facebook. Well, the difference between me and this kind people be say my own na joke shaa.......but this people own don pass joke jare...ha ha  :)
and a purple flower on the head?...nawa ohh

NAIJA NEWS TITLES EHHN....NAWA OHH

So I was reading Naija news online, and came across a title which said "Former Miss World, Agbani Darego Confesses"
So that immediately caught my attention. Cos I was like shoooooo...wetin this innocent looking babe don do now ehh. As I kept on reading this long ass interview she had, i was still hoping to see wetin the babe been do. "At that point, I was telling my self "O boy kool down, you never read the thing finish...maybe her confession part go dey for the last paragraph of the post. At this point I don dey think of so many things... maybe she used to be anorexic or smth of that nature; or maybe the male judges ran a train on her, and that's how she won the miss world thingy; or maybe she like girls; or she has a d**k. Infact when u hear say person been confess about smth, most of the time, its usually smth very crazy that nobody would have imagined that person doing. Una suppose know wetin i dey talk about nah :)

Anyways back to what I was saying. So I then reached the last paragraph, and still there was no sign of her confessing anything. Nawa ohh...so the person wey post the thing just make me read the whole post for nothing?  Okay so this was the only confession she made i guess:


On marriage and heartbreak
No, I am not going to talk about whether I have been heartbroken or not. It is too private an issue. When would I get married? I guess I would find out whenever someone asks me to marry him then I would let you know. Am I dating anyone now? I think my private life should be my private life. Well, the ring that I am wearing is just a fashion jewellery that I like to wear. No, it’s not an engagement ring, it’s just a jewellery; there is nothing special about it.

AND HOW'S THAT SUPPOSED TO BE CALLED A CONFESSION????....WTF!!!...She was telling the interviewer about the ring just being a fashion jewelry (which i believe non of us really send for), but why did our publishers have the nerves to title this "Agbeni Darego Confesses" which kind yeye confession be this one ke? infact as from today, i no go put too much interest for all these fishy titles. Now I've spent almost 10 precious mins reading smth useless....Daily Sun make una take time ohh :)

(daily sun)

NA OVER-CORRECTNESS DEY WORRY THIS GUY EHH.

To complete ongoing projects, Imo State Governor, Rochas Okorocha has assured that all ongoing and abandoned projects in the state would be completed before new contracts are awarded.

The governor said this while addressing contractors handling several projects for the state government at the Multi Purpose Hall, Owerri.
He enjoined all contractors to go back to site and complete the projects, as the present administration would live up to agreement to pay for all completed projects.

Governor Okorocha, however, stated that government would not hesitate to revoke any non-performing contract and would bring those involved in shady deals to book.



Shey right from the beginning, I don dey tell una say this guy no just come Imo state to dey open teeth with everybody. He's been a self made millionaire long time ago, and govt money no go do any good for am. So he's just here to serve his people, and bring change to the state. He knows what he's doing, and by the time he's done, Imo state will be one of the best places to live in Naija :)

Shout out to all my Imo states peeps (Nkwerre all d way). Dont worry, soon our state go dey like Yankee.

Imagine a State in Naija that is well developed  + Having more than 4 universities filled with correct babes = Naija Las Vegas :)
The only thing wey just dey missing be say we no get beach...if not ehhn, Imo State for be Naija Miami ehh...ha ha. Oh i even forgot about Oguta lake....Hey, that works ;)

(daily sun)

THE LAND OF MILK & HONEY............REALLY?????

So once in a while i always post stuff to remind peeps say Yankee no be bed full of roses ohh. The only thing person dey enjoy for here na the good roads, food, uninterrupted electricity supply, medical system,  infrastructural facilities, traveling from NY to California without having fear say armed robbers go just come out from bush dey rob you...ha ha...., nonviolent environment, and all that good stuff...Other than that, life no just easy for here at all. But no matter what you tell peeps for Naija, dem no go believe ehh...cos dem wan come witness am for themselves....and i no blame them shaa. Afterall who no go wan come use their eye see Americoco (according to my mum) or Amerikiyaa (according to one of my friends, Anthony...ha ha )

Anyways so I saw this article named "Why Some Nigerians Are Trapped In America" and I found it very interesting. So I decided to share some parts of it with you guyzes..ha ha

Nigerian United States based environmental scientist, Dr. Asopuru Okemgbo, has said that life in United States of America is not bed of roses, as immigrants and foreigners have to prove themselves beyond their equals. Okemgbo, who has been in the US for over 20 years, said the basic needs – water, food, access roads, transportation and energy – are not issues in US, but noted that one has to sweat for every dollar he earns.  (shey i been talk am..lol)


The press later asked him this:
It is said that going to America is easier than returning. So, what is your experience?


and this na my guy answer:
That is always true, even long time ago when our people were going to Cameroon and they got there to make money and return, you have to really work hard to achieve that. If you go to America and you don’t have good job that will give you enough money to buy your plane ticket back or visit often, then you are trapped. Not only that; there are immigration issues. So some people may have been trapped by immigration problems because if they leave America, they may not return; so they stay put and there are many other things that keep them there; that is why going to America is easier than coming back. I quite agree with that statement.


all I can say is this............GBAM!!!!
All this guy said is more than true.....as for me, i no get any immigration quanta ohh......but that ticket money ehhn..I think thats the main thing that stops a  lot of Naija families from going back to Naija for vacation, or for good. Imagine a family of 5 planning to go to Naija for X-mas...we talking about almost $9000 to $10,000 for air ticket alone....then which money dem go come use for grooving nah :(


(daily sun)

WE DON COME AGAIN....

Okay so Saudi Arabia just recently beheaded 3 Naija guys accused for murdering a citizen


Mohammed Ismail, Abdulqudus Adam and Mohammed Kabir Ali broke into the house of Omar Mohammed Adam where “they beat him and his wife, tied them down and strangled Omar to death,” said the statement. Then they burgled their compatriot’s home, it added


Umm well let me start off by saying that i'm very surprised say no be igbo peeps been dey involved this time around.....very very surprised shaa....phewww...lol... Anyways You see this na the reason why all these developed countries no dey like give us visa....cos we always find ways to cause trouble one way or the other. I could remember last year when i went to play football in Vietnam, about 99% of the black people there were  Naija guys, and they all claim to be football players....but na drugs and runs wey most of them dey do for thia. The Vietnamese peeps over there were so racist sotey dem no dey even hide their own racism sef. So one day, I asked one Naija guy why these vietnamese peeps dey so racist like this? So he then explained to me that 5 yrs ago when Naija guys started to come into the country, the Vietnamese peeps saw us as small gods..they respected us so much, and always wanted to be around us. But as more and more Naija peeps started to enter into the country, na so bad bad things come start to dey happen...they began stealing, breaking into peoples homes, fighting and stabbing each other...and u know say Vietnam na communist country, so they never see this kind of crazy behavior before. Thats when they started deporting Naija peeps over there..and the hatred began.
I no just understand why anywhere wey we go, we must always create a big negative impact....


I no just understand some peeps sometimes for real.....U know say u dey for country wey if you steal, dem go kill you asap...but yet u still wanna be the rat for the experiment.......i guess since we are over 150 million peeps, then there's gotta be enough rats for experiments then :(


(vanguard online)

I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK.....HA HA

Shebi I been tell una say I been dey Canada last weekend. Well it was really fun shaa. It was exactly a 7 hrs drive from NY to Ottowa....and Yes I drove the whole journey while my wife just relaxed for front seat dey bark anyhow like say person dey laugh with her.
Anyways back to my story......So on Friday which was their Canadian independence, we went to their down town during the day to go see all the krase people wey full for street. And also Prince Harry and that im wife been dey town, so thousands and thousands of peeps came out to see them. I no follow shaa, cos i dont see why someone will spend time under the hot a** sun just to see Prince Harry's convoy pass...then the only thing u go do na to either clap or shout yay....then u go start ti dey go back house. Na son, I cant do that...esp when the person no even know say I dey exist sef. The most I can do na to watch am for TV....period!!!

Anyways back to my story this time..lol....Yeah so we went home to go drink...and later that night, we came out again to go witness their fireworks....It was like 9 of us, and at least 6 of the 9 were definitely twisted/feeling the alcoholic effect...including me ofcourse ;)

After we finished watching the whole fireworks thingy, I was in my crazy mood (as usual). So on our way back to the parking lot, I saw this "no parking" sign everywhere. So I thought it would be really hot to take a pic with it...ha ha. So I pulled the sign off from the ground, and gave the sexiest/striking pose I've ever done....along with my wife's handbag. Yeah I know u like that ehhn? ehhn? You know I look sexy in that pic, and none of y'all can tell me nothing :)

One thing I know for sure be say those girls on the side bar are no competition at all :)

DEY JOLLEY DEY GO!!!

(shout out to Chi-chi Oji for providing this crazy pic)



Okay, so imagine being at a party..as in a very normal party ohh....people are happy gisting, laughing, dancing..infact everything is just going smooth and great, just as planned. And in Naija, we all know say the main event in a house party na sharing of the rice and chicken....and the taste of the food could either make the party even very very sweeter, or it could also break the party too..ha ha.
Alright....so u still at this over-bubbling party, and the time to chop don ready, and dem start to dey share rice to the people. Then all of a sudden, as dem bring rice come for you, the first thing you gonna see is a gold freaking circle condom untop the take-away container.

Like come on.....who tha heck sat down and thought about this abnormal behavior?...I'm just trying to imagine what type of party this was shaa. Definitely not a kid or teenager's party for sure. Ummm I would have said a swingers party, but on the second thought, we Naija peeps no dey liberal to that extent u know :)
Okayyyy I think i got it....im be like say this na some type of ibotic ashewo peeps their local party. Anyways whatever the case may be, one thing i know for sure be say this party was the sh**  tho :)

EVEN FOR YANKEE KE............!!!

So on Saturday, I went out to go grab some Chinese food with my neighbor. And the neighborhood we went to get the food was kinda wierd (as most of you know, the best place to eat betta chinese food in NY is usually in the hood..ha ha) As in the people around there weren't the smartest of people (as u can see). It was mostly peeps from the ghetto, or lemme just say low income peeps. While walking back home, I saw a banner which said "Chinese restaurant coming soon".  But I come notice say the way dem take spell the "coming" ehhn...e just get as e be juo. So I quickly told ma friend to take a pic of it. After that, we laughed so hard....and we didnt even take up to 20 steps, until my friend spotted another banner which said "oficce is open from so so to so so so."  It was just so funny and I was so so perplexed about this whole incident, cos i never see such kind thing for Yankee before. 

Anyways this na to show say illiteracy dey everywhere jare. When we dey Naija, we go just dey feel say everybody for Yankee na Chike Obi for english language... ha ha 

Anyways one thing I certainly know for sure be say the people wey write this thing be immigrants for sure :)

HA HA HA...NAIJA PEEPS NO GO KILL ME EHH

Mehn u just gotta luv our country, and the people that live in it too....I no even know wetin to talk sef. This pic don weaken my whole body ehh.......DAMN!!
Who actually wakes up in the morning and decide say im go wear goat jessee??? and im come be Arsenal jessee for that matter...HA HA HA ....i no even know if dem dey try diss Arsenal, or dem dey try recruit more Arsenal fans by any means necessary.......ha ha
The thing wey dey even make me laugh pass for this picture na the wey dem take hold the goat hoof,  like say im dey celebrate with them......and u can notice the rope still dey im leg....so i guess after the celebration, the goat will be killed soon.

But Damn...animals dey suffer for real ehh....as a guy, can u imagine being an animal just like this goat right here... and u dey well respected in the animal kingdom...cos of your strength, dominance, and ur ability to have all the females :)    Then sometime in your life, human beings go just catch u, dey wear u dress, dey paint ur face, dey rub u lipstick....infact dem go just dey fall your hand anyhow right in front of your fellow animals and ur chicks...na big f**k up nah.   and at the end, u still gonna end up in someone's belle :(   ...see destiny ehh

I bet this goat play pass some Arsenal players. ha ha   :)

OMO SEE MY SWAGGA!!!!

Shout out to Betty jare 



I swear if I ever go back to Naija, and come across any guy wey dress up like this, dey waka comfortably for road, I bet you i go personally come out of my ride, walk up to the dude and try to not make any eye contact whatsoever.... then first of all drag that im bow tie commot from im neck...as well as that nonsense badge looking crap wey dey for im suit.

Left with me alone, I go carry scissors with me, wey I go use cut that nonsense leopard sh** commot from im body. But i dont think I will be doing that, since i no go want make people think say I dey try rape my guy for broad daylight u know :(
Even sef, if I manage find way to commot that thing wey im dey wear for leg, I go just throway each of them for different directions....as in ehhn, I go throw them so far away from each other with all my strength....ha ha .

Yeah thats it...and hopefully after all this (which shouldnt last up to 1 min) before my guy go even realize wetin just happen to am,  I go don run enter inside my car and drive away sharply (for saftey reasons shaa) cos people like this dey strong scatter...no let im soft-like appearance deceive you ohh...ha ha

REALLY???????????!!!!!

(Betty u don come again..ha ha)


HA HA ......The first time i saw smth like this was by a traffic light in Harlem. The guy just carry poster dey beg for money... so when he now came closer to my car, and I read what was on the poster.....o boy ehh laugh wan kill me die. I thought it was a funny wey to beg shaa...cos come on.....I dont think anyone is that stupid to believe say Ninjas been attack person family....as in not even armed robbers/criminals ohh...NINJAS ke...ha ha

Well, what was funny about the one I saw was that the guy had another writing on the other side of the cardboard which said "ha ha I'm just kidding, I just need some money to grab me a cold beer"...ha ha
Men the kind techniques wey people dey put into begging these days ehhn...no be small thing ohh.

umm but one a second thought, nawa for this guy ohh....he should have came up with smth else. Think about it, who will ever believe that this old dude will actually go to karate lessons....ha ha some things dont just work for everyone jare. :)

LOL......!!!!!

(shout out to chi-chi Dora for this pic)


LOL....Mehn no kind thing wey person no go see/hear/do for this our country Naija. As much as this stuff dey mad funny ..but at the same time, I also believe that this na one of the realest talks wey i don see.  Unfortunately only very few people dey believe this kind yarning, and they are the ones that usually work hard, and come out successful at the end.  Mehn f**k that jare. Its all God that rewards us when he wants to. Cos i just dey picture a lot of hard working peeps in Naija...but yet their hardwork has not yielded them anything fruitful at all at all.........Then later you go see one idiot go just come from nowhere and do the same thing, and come out successful.

A good example na our Music indutry. Remember all those people wey dey claim say their head dey hot pass when it comes to rapping (likes of Rugged man, mode 9 and others wey i no even sabi)....And from nowhere Mr Incredible came into the game and immediately stole the whole show. Na that kind oppression wey dey cause stroke nah.
In a nutshell, if ur time never reach, then that means "your time never reach." There's no need to do all the extra struggling n' stuff :)

NAWA TO THIS MAMA OHH

(shout out to Amira for providing this article)

Bimbo Ayelabola, 33, had been taking twice the prescribed dose of a potent fertility drug while at home in Lagos.

Within days of discovering she was expecting she obtained a visitor's visa for Britain.

And she ended up getting the best treatment possible on the NHS following an emergency Health Service scan which showed she was expecting four babies.

After months of taxpayer-funded care - costing an estimated £200,000 - Bimbo had a complex Caesarean op 32 weeks into her pregnancy on April 28.

Doctors at Homerton Hospital, in Hackney, East London, then discovered there was a fifth baby.

Now, two months later, Bimbo is applying to the Home Office to extend her stay in the UK because boys Tayseel and Samir and girls Aqeelah, Binish and Zara - although healthy - are too fragile to fly home.

Bimbo is also arguing that there is no "support network" of family and friends left in Nigeria to help her bring up her kids because they are all in the UK already.

Yeah Yeah Yeah whatever. You see I dont even know why this is news......maybe its cos in this situation, the lady has 5 kids. Other than that, this na very normal thing wey Families for Naija dey partake in........A woman finds out she's pregnant....so the next step now go be how she go try get visa to either Yankee or Jand, in order for her to go born the pikin for thia.....make im come be say their pikin na citizen ke. Its crazy to know how many women do this all the time. But whats even crazier is the extent which these women dey take...all just to go born their pikin outside Naija. As in ehhn, If you go Jand or Yankee embassy for Naija ehhn, you go see pregnant women wey dey use belt dey squeeze their belle, so that they wont look pregnant. As in ehhn, we sabi take things to another level.....and the kind lie wey these women dey lie to those embassy consulates ehhn....na die ehhh :)

Anyways shaa, as far as I'm concerned, make this woman go back Naija jare....You've gotten what you want (ur kids to be British citizens) so now, why u still dey cry like say u no get place wey u been come from? Who go pay ur bill of over 200,000 pounds for thia...and dem talk say it costs 70pounds a week to feed each baby....shoooooo!!!
Like really, is Naija that bad that peeps are ready to suffer outside Naija than inside?.....JEEZ,,,Peeps gotta stop thinking thru their butt for real. At the end of the day, There's no place like home jare.

(thesun.co.uk)

MARRIAGE GONE WRONG!!!

So I'm sure you guys must have heard that this dude right here stabbed his wife to death. They got married in November 2008, had a baby girl a while later....YAY..both family and friends where all happy for them (as usual) .. But last week, my guy been stabb the girl to death, and he further went on to mutilate her body.....And mind you this was on this moron's 30th birthday.....So this made everyone begin to dey wonder wetin come happen nah?
Then his long time classmate/close friend opened up on how things had been rough with the couple. First of all, my guy been loose im job like 2 yrs ago, and his wife was the bread winner all this while. So one day, she came back from work and found out that her husband had sold her car...buhahaha....so this come cause very very big kwanta, which later cost her her life ;(

The neighbours however saw her husband jump through the window with blood stains and drove off. But since there was no screaming from the apartment or any noise to suggest they were quarrelling, the neighbours thought all was well."..........but nawa ohh...how the hell will u think all is well when you just saw an  idiot jumping out of his window with blood all over his body...and you dont raise an alarm right away......nna nawa to some so called neighbors ohh

The woman's body was discovered later with a knife still in her neck...as in ehhn, she was stabbed severally in the face and neck.


Anyways, prior to her death, it was learnt that  the victim confided in one of her colleagues that her marriage was undergoing challenges but was reluctant to leave because she did not want her daughter to be raised in a broken home.


You see I think we in a generation where as a female, if you ever feel uncomfortable/afraid in your marriage, and you know its definitely not gonna work anymnore....Just get a divorce right away Dammmit!!!........now the woman don die...all because she didnt want her daughter to be raised up in a broken home :(       
This is 2011, and I expect peeps to be smarter these days for real .....and whats up with all these young Naija peeps marrying today and divorcing tomorrow....i weeda jare

HAPPY MOTHERING DAY?....WTF!!

(Shout out to Betty Braimah.... where in the world do you get these crazy pics.....ha ha)

At first when I took a quick glance at this picture, i immediately thought it was one of those Naija movies with their silly titles and crazy looking bootleg cd packs/covers.....Abeg make nobody blame me jare. Afterall if we can give our  movies all types of absurd names, then what stops our producers from naming a movie "Ezinne - Happy mothering Sunday" huh?

But I later saw the calender stuff on the side...that was when i then realized it was just one of dem calender crap.

But can someone pls tell me WTF is Beyonce's face doing on that calender? I just dont get it tho. So of every female celeb they could think of, na Beyonce wey dem decide to carry her head put ontop this femal body?......You see when I been dey Naija, I noticed that in a lot of places i went to, most of the posters usually had either Beyonce or Jay-Z. Like seriously nawa ohh...cos me i tire sef. Anyways whatever. Its just that I dont understand if na mandatory issue say Beyonce face go dey everything wey we wan do :(

WHy cant we be creative at anything for Christ sake huh?

ILLITERACY...MAN'S WORST ENEMY :(

(Betty u too much jare)

You see this is one of the reasons why Mark Zuckernberg shouldn't have made facebook go public. I could remember the time when facebook was only accessible to university/college students only....And when Mark decided to expand it to the public, a lot of people were against him and stuff like that. Well as for me, I no been send shaa, cos I know say at the end of the day, it will go public, which will in-turn increase his profit.

But Mehn, na by force to join social site again?? shoo.....like for real wharra hell is this????? Of-course not everyone out there has to be educated...but mehn illiteracy get levels jare...and this one dey very critical and disturbing. I think this is more like a disorder for real....thinking of smth in your head, but when you try say or write it out, it comes out differently :(