WHAT JUST HAPPENED??????????????????

Okay so I dont know why this happened. But something like this shouldn't have happened in the first place. Even if something like this was to happen, dont you think the lady would have felt some sort of discomfort, and checked to see what was happening to her? But I guess not!!! Cos it clearly looks like while this was happening, the victim was oblivious of what had happened to her. Thereby she couldnt do anything about what had just happened. And now it has happened...and we can all testify that for the first time in our lives, we have just seen the picture of a lady who's pinky toe was comfortably and proudly hanging out of her pinky shoes!! And this only happened in our generation. We are all witnesses..me, you , all of us :(

ILLEGAL REFINERY DISCOVERED KE....NAWA OHH

Ok check this out. So 16 illegal refineries were just discovered in Abia State. As in 16 eh. But damn, people get liver ohh. How people take manage build illegal refineries all this while, and na now wey govt just dey find out (me sef even know say these things don dey for a while sef). Sometimes you gats respect Naija man jare, cos I think the criminality in us is way advanced than other people in other countries. Just as I said some months ago, I believe we Naija peeps all have some sort of criminality inside us...But it all depends on the individual, and the kind of level they would want to take it to ;) ha ha

Vice President, Health Sector and Corporate Affairs, Mr. Tony Attah in a statement to Vanguard, weekend, said: “The scale of crude oil theft in the area was alarming. Aside from revenue loss to government and other stakeholders, significant portions of the stolen crude are spilled, blighting large swathes of the ecosystem.


Well, Mr Tony I got four words for you.....COME SUCK MY BALLS!!!! Wetin my guy sabi about ecosystem? What even pisses me off is when these touts come on tv and try to act and talk all intelligent and sh**. I wonder who they trying to fool shaa. The time you taking to bash these people, would have been a good time for you to urge our government to repair our refineries that have been bad for some years now. Isn’t it shameful enough to know that the so called Giant of Africa is actually importing crude oil till today??????? All because our government have been incapable of maintaining our already existing refineries. Does that even make sense??????? You see, situations like this actually make me believe that some of these our so called leaders are baboons in human body.

If our legal refineries no dey work, then why government come dey complain about the illegal ones huh? Matter of fact, our government should even be giving kudos to the people who set up these various illegal refineries, and learn from them too. Afterall this whole oil oil oil wey we dey talk about, no be all of us get am? yes nah :) Wish I could even open one sef :)



(vanguardngr.com)

NIGER DELTA MILITANTS DON VEX EHH.......

 

So the Ijaw militants recently sent a warning to Boko Haram, telling them that "enough is enough" with all these absurd bombing and sh** that they be carrying out across the country. Well in their whole speech, I found this particular part funny:

“NOTE WELL, if further killings by Boko Haram as a result of Goodluck Jonathan’s Presidency in the country within fourteen days of this statement, we shall without hesitation commence sending every Muslim in the Niger Delta Region to their various homes and ask our people to return home. No section of this country is an embodiment of killing others. Muslims can’t live in our land freely (Niger Delta) while they will be killing our people in their land. If they don’t want peace we will meet them were ever they are. This is our message.”

HA HA ...play play play play, before you know wetin dey happen, war don start ohh. But you know these Boko Haram peeps get sense ohh.....cos if they really think say dem get two heads, make dem go bomb place like PH or Warri. Na there dem go know say na people from the southern region dey krase pass.

To be honest though, I don’t just see Christians and Muslims living in peace in Naija. For even up to 3 months sef. It’s either one thing or the other every time. As I've always said, the best thing is for both regions to part ways. I know some of us are against having a divided Nigeria.....and as much as I wouldn’t want to see that, but I believe that's the best option for us. So many peeps have lost their lives because of these whole religious clashes here and there across the country. Our people in the north want to rule Naija from now till thy Kingdom come, without considering the fact that Naija is not a freaking Muslim country in any way. No be today wey all these yawa start, and several measures have been taken to make sure both regions live in peace. But it has been very very impossicant. So in my own perspective, make these two regions part in peace jare, The bloodshed don too much juo. ah ah !!....smchew.

I remember reading someone's comment which said "Nigeria is today more divided than before the Biafra war." and if you come to think about it, that’s absolutely true tho.
You see this is what I've been expecting the south to do right from time, instead of just sitting down, and these Boko Haram peeps keep on destroying our Uncle Goodluck’s reputation, and making him look incapable of handling the security issues in the country.

But as much as I see Both Niger Delta Militants and Boko Haram members as touts and criminals, one thing I know for sure is that the Militants are fighting for a cause (an organization with ideology) while Boko Haram just dey fight for no damn reason. So if I'm to choose which one to support....umm I think ama go for my Ijaw boys jare.

(247ureports.com)

WHAT A WICKED WORLD......NAWA OHH

I've always told my peeps that one of the major problems we have in the black community is Jealousy...and the Headquarters of Jealousy is located in Naija. And this na very major reason why we black people can never move forward on this planet. You do smth better than your peer, jealousy go start. You fine pass your friend, jealousy go start. You come back from overseas, jealousy go start. You dey make money pass your peers, jealousy go start. Infact nothing wey person go do for Naija wey another person no go jealous you. Even sef, if your shit smell pass another person shit, dem go jelous you. How pathetic. And na our females sabi jealous pass. Even if na you ugly pass, people wey fine go still dey jealous your ugliness :)
I remember when me and my wife went to Naija in 09', majority of the women that saw her were just staring continuously, frowning their face, looking at her up and down. (u know how Naija girls dey look their fellow women up and down nah..ha ha ..that sh** be mad annoying ehh) It was so bad that she quickly noticed it and felt so so uncomfortable going out. Na so she go dey ask me everytime "why is it that some of your women look angry when they see me"?  and my answer (as usual) na "Babay U don see am nah..welcome to Naija." Even as we dey come back Yankee, for Lagos airport, the hungry female security workers just dey give her attitude anyhow like say na crime as she come Naija with her husband. I just felt so bad for her during that our trip ehh. And that's one big reason why she doesnt feel comfortable yet moving to Naija. Cos almost everyone one the street just look mad angry, frustrated, and ready to eat their fellow man/woman alive. (but all that one she dey talk na long thing shaa..cos at the end of the day, she must come back my land, come follow other Naija women dey pound pepper inside motar...ha ha )

Yeah so according to what I heard, this girl (ontop) was poured hot oil by another woman (below)...out of jealousy ohh...Am I surprised? NAH!!! if u look well well sef, the girl wey pour her the oil resemble one kind evil creature like that wey i dey think of....YES I GOT IT....she resemble "Smeagol" for "Lord of the rings." All you need do na to take that wig off her head, and you go see wetin I dey talk about :)

But people really get mind ohh...pour your fellow person hot oil, water acid. all just to disfigure the person face for life. That's to show you how wicked some human beings are. Abeg if you have any friend that show some kind of jealousy towards you, better dey careful and keep that person at arm's length jare...before dem fry you like this poor babe here.   Girls make una take time ohh, cos I dont like it and dont find this sexy at all :(

HAD TO PUT MA BOY ON BLAST :(

(I kinda faded the pic for security reasons. Cos i no want situation wey if any of una mistakenly see my guy for road, you go start to dey point hand, dey ask unnecessary questions like "no be this guy Alex been dey talk about?..ha ha)

Okay I just couldn’t hold it anymore. So I've got this friend...he's cool as f**k...as in he's a very close friend of mine back in Naija, and he's one of the few peeps that I do hang out with whenever i dey Naija. But mehhn, sometimes my guy dey throw very hefty bomb when im dey talk. Sometimes when im talk something finish, I'll be like "WHAT?" Sotey im dey even do the same thing when posting something on his FB status. And I've noticed this for a while now, but as as per say na my tight man, I no been wan make fun of am all this while :)


But F**k it...I cant help it anymore ehh. I had to share some of his many grenades that have been thrown on his FB status..... and luckily no one has died yet shaa....Enjoy :)

Ephraim
I BELIVE IN GOD ALMIGHTY THE MARKER OF HAVEN EARTH
LikeUnlike · · Share · Yesterday at 7:56am via mobile on Etisalat · Privacy:Shared with: Public

Ephraim
Meni life is GOOD
LikeUnlike · · Share · September 16 at 5:17pm via mobile on Etisalat · Privacy:Shared with: Public.

Ephraim
DOS THAT BELIVE IN THE NAME OF THE VIKINGS DEY SHER ALL SAY
LikeUnlike · · Share · September 16 at 5:15pm via mobile on Etisalat · Privacy:Shared with: Public.

Ephraim
Declare me innocent, o LORD, because i do what is right and trust u compely.
LikeUnlike · · Share · September 11 at 5:57am via mobile on Etisalat · Privacy:Shared with: Public.

Ephraim
Na woo know tomorrow???
LikeUnlike · · Share · August 26 at 7:46am via mobile on Etisalat · Privacy:Shared with: Public

Ephraim
THE MAIN EXPORT OF NIGERIA IS CRUDE OIL. BUT NIGERIA PRODUCES TWO MILLION BARRELS OF OIL EVERY DAY AND IS CURRENTLY THE 5TH LARGEST PRODUCER OF CRUDE OIL IN THE , YEAT POOL ONES ARE LAKING IN NIGERIA,OH GOD HELP US IN JESUS MAME SAY AMEN.
LikeUnlike · · Share · August 25 at 5:59am via mobile on Etisalat · Privacy:Shared with: Public

Ephraim
Is good to be good bout good ones dont lassLikeUnlike · · August 23 at 6:34am via mobile on Etisalat · Privacy:Shared with: Olaka's friends

Ephraim
What markes a man to full in luvLikeUnlike · · Share · August 23 at 1:28pm via mobile on Etisalat · Privacy:Shared with: Public


Look guys, there's nothing wrong in throwing grenade here and there, once in a while. Afterall I know say I dey constantly throw grenade in some of my postings, and I'm sure all of you guys have seen some of my very dangerous grenades for this site. But that's because I hardly proofread my postings...and I dont even know why (at least I get legit excuse..he he) Most of the time, na my wife wey dey bring to my attention regarding all the various grenades I dey throw when I post something. But just as I said earlier, that's cos I hardly proofread them.



Anyways as I was saying..yeah my boy be killing me with his FB status quotes.... and I no been wan dey greedy and laugh alone….I decided to share it with the Nawa4U community, so that we can all say "Euphraim nawa 4 u ohh!!! why the boko-haraming of english words/sentences?  ha ha


Ephraim I know say you dey see this, and you know say I luv you to death bro. But I just had to put you on blast ehh....HA HA . nothing do u jare :)

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NO COMMENT :(

ABSU RAPE A HOAX?!!!! NAWA OHH

Okay so I'm sure most of us have heard about the whole rape incident that occurred in Abia State University. I heard 5 guys lured a girl into a room and raped her turn by turn….and she was screaming, pleading, and all that stuff. And to even make matter worse, the guys recorded such sh**. The news has even gone internationally, but yet our government has insisted that the whole thing was a hoax?!!! And what still surprises me the most is that none of the perpetrators have been arrested. This case needs to be taken seriously, if not sh** like this will continue to take place in our society you know.....and before you know it, our future daughters will also fall victims of such unacceptable act. How 5 men go just dey like this, rape 1 chick for over 1 hr, and no one came out to her rescue or so? I no just understand ohh.


We don’t investigate violation cases based on what people put on twitter. When a crime is reported, the DPO must send detectives to investigate the scene of the crime. Up till now have you seen the victim? Have you seen the scene of crime? Have you seen the suspects? It is a very dangerous rumour that must be dismissed by all good meaning Abians and Nigerians” - Bala Hassan, Commissioner of police Abia State

Okay, as much as I'm always against Naija police, I'm still good friends with a couple of their top officers whom I know are really nice and educated as well. And Hassan is among one of my closest police pals. He's known as the best police commissioner in Naija and he's been sent to crazy places states like Benin, Delta, Rivers and now Abia...cos he has a reputation of doing a good job anywhere he goes. But I dont think he said the right thing at all in this case at all... Him and some of his colleagues will be coming to NY to visit me next month after they conclude their police conference in Chicago....and I must definitely bring this case up to him...cos i didn’t expect him to say such thing. This is not the Bala that I know for real :(

I for like see this video tape wey people dey talk about shaa....But at the end of the day, whether there's a video or not, at the end of the day, a girl was raped mercilessly in a university, for that matter…and those individuals involved in this crime should be sentenced to life. Period.

Everytime it must be one negative news or another that must come out of Naija. I cant even remember the last good news that came out of that country. What a shame.

(punchontheweb.com)

WETIN CONCERN UN AND OUR SPREADING OF SEEDS??...HA HA

So the UN wants to recommend China's one child policy to Naija.?
UN? One child policy ko? For Naija Ke?   HA HA HA ....I no fit laugh jare.

Last week, after meeting with Nigeria’s new president, liberal economist Jeffrey Sachs told Agence France Presse (AFP): “I am really scared about population explosion in Nigeria. It is not healthy. Nigeria should work towards attaining a maximum of three children per family.”   .......foolish man....Afraid never start to catch you yet ohh!! ha ha


Yes Naija's population is getting out of control. But on the other hand, I just cant see this thing working in Naija for real. In China, Yes!!! But Naija, mmm mmm... ehn ehn... mba.. lye lye

Okay check this out.....Imagine telling a yoruba woman woman say make she no born pass one pikin??  :(
She go break your head first before she even start to ask why?

But I do see where the UN is coming from shaa.....Cos I believe the more kids in a family, the more ppoverty level increases tho. Imagine all those people wey dey born up to 10 pikin for village, and money no go even for them to go school. Ideally, I think having 2 kids would be the best tho, cos this way you will be able to invest well in them, cater to their needs, as well as giving them a solid foundation.
But all that one na talk shaa.....Cos as far as me personally dey concerned, I've been made up my mind that I want 4 kids. Period! whether money dey ohh, or im no dey..i don talk my own finish.

But Yeah, I believe people should have the number of kids they can afford shaa. Cos come to think about it, raising up kids these days are mad expensive jare. I remember seeing my baby picture, and na napkin (with a big saftey pin holding it) wey i been dey wear. At least if you shit for am, all they need do is wash it, dry it, and put it back on your a** again. But these days, na diapas wey babies dey use, and that sh** is not cheap at all. Then come think of nusery, primary and secondary school fees ke?..and we never even talk about university ohh...Chai.  Infact i'm beginning to think twice about this four pikins wey I dey talk about sef.  Cos I no want situation wey I go hear say my pikin thief person provision for school because I no been get money to buy for am. ( I remember stealin provision back in school shaa...no be because of poverty ohh...just that i was hungry. my boarding school peeps know what I'm talking about na...ha ha)

Anyways UN, I somehow support una talk shaa. But until then, make una tell our government to provide all the basic amenitites for us..and they should also provide lots of employment opportunities too. Cos if man dey unemployed, and dey im house on a 24/7basis, wetin else you expect am to do, other than humping his wife :(
And no be like say our peeps dey use condom well well in order to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Cos I know say a lot of pregnancies for Naija wasnt planned at all. Therefore there are millions of us that are not even supposed to be existing in the first place :)    Some of us should have been swallowed...ha ha ha

Well, since God didnt give man any limitation on how many seeds he can spread, then who is UN to tell us to reduce our population ke? Good idea by them, but until then, make dem come hold our prick nah :)

(vanguard)

TEACHER BLINDS STUDENTS EYE......WTF??

In Benin, a 10 yr. old primary 4 girl is suing her teacher for allegedly beating her black and blue with a broom, which resulted to her loosing her left eye in the process....how much? N500 milla!!!!
She was accused of being a witch, and then beaten mercilessly with a cane, then followed by a broom. Why? Because she failed her math assignment.

You see, I've always known that Naija is a jungle, but its like most of the wild animals have decided not to go on extinction for some reason. Yes, discipline is part of our culture. But we always take things to the extreme. I remember in my primary school (shout out to all my Bereton, PH peeps jare) teachers be flogging us like say we thief something. Like Damn yo. I forgot to do my assignment, or I came 3 mins late to class, or I failed the test...and that’s why u wan flog me die? Nawa Ohh. And wetin I dey tell you no be small flog ohh. As in when dem flog you with that big fat cane for your nyash ehn, you go even come dey feel the pain for your throat area join. True talk tho. I'm sure anybody that went to Bereton primary school can surely attest to what I'm saying :) And the crazy thing be say most of our parents seem to support the teachers. My mum loved the fact that we were being disciplined thoroughly, but my papa no been support that mess at all. I remember he always told me if any teacher flogs me unnecessarily, make I tell am. But I never did because I know who my papa be. Big black former pro boxer, 6ft 4 inches, 300 pounds, with im very hot temper join? No nah...I know wan hear say na me make dem kill one hungry a** teacher for school compound jare.
But on the real, Something needs to be done about the way we dey carry this education thing for head shaa
Everytime I just pray for our country and hoping that one day we will end some of these crazy mentalities that we have. Did she fail her test because she's a witch? Even if she is, who send the teacher to go dey use broom to flog the witchcraft commot for the girl body? I dont just get it!!!

You see this na the problem I get with Naija education. Teachers go wan beat you die until you learn am by force.....without them forgetting say no be everybody go excel for education. This na the problem I been dey get with my mama, but thankGod she's beginning to change tho. As she came last month to visit her grandson, na so she go dey talk say "he will go to Havard and become the best lawyer or doctor." ….. and I told her straight up "mummy if you want make me and you enjoy this vacation wey you come so, no come dey tell me about this whole doctor lawyer or education thing abeg". Maybe you fit go tell that one to my younger brothers when dem born their own pikin". This is my son and I hope to get him involved in a variety of things like education, sports, acting etc. And whichever one I see him enjoying the most, and having great potentials in excelling, then that’s where I'll invest in and give him my support to the fullest. Every time doctor lawyer engineer doctor lawyer doctor lawyer doctor medicine medicine medicine....SHOO!!! .na the only thing wey we sabi. Yet we no get common good hospitial or judiciary system for Naija. Sick and tired of that bullsh**.

As far as I dey concerned, N500 milla is even small sef. . Cos at the end of the day, the chick has lost her sight, and nothing can bring it back. Period! At least this one go make all those so called local teachers sit up. Infact ehn, if to say I be the girl parent, I for even sue the Naija government for allowing the continuous brutalization of kids in schools... Like come on nah, it freaking 2011. I do plan to send my children to Naija to go do some years of their primary school there (since I want them to get a good taste of their papa land, and also know say life no be just milk and sugar..ha ha ) And God bless that teacher wey go make mistake put mark for my pikin body. Infact I no go even talk anything sef. Its one of those things I don’t wish to happen…but at the same time I kinda want it to happen, so that I go use that person as scape goat….so that all those other local teachers across Naija go take note.
I know say una dey feel that last flow…"scape goat" “take note” Chai….this Alex guy too much ehh…haha ;)

ANOTHER TALENT GONE....THIS TIME KILLED BY OUR GOV'T!!

R.I.P to Nwaozo Obiajulu, AKA Mc Loph, the man behind my wife's favorite Naija song "Osndi Owendi." Dude had an accident on the Ore/Benin road. And the most painful part of the whole story is that he was on his way to his traditional wedding. Come on nah. It doesnt get worse than that :(

This same Ore/Benin road is definitely one of the most dangerous roads in Naija, and the road dey chop people head on a daily basis. But yet our government have refused to do anything about that road for more than a decade now. Ofcourse our so called leaders dont give a sh**, since na only plane dem dey use even reach their village dommot. I'm sure everyone of us know someone, or have heard about someone who has lost their life in an auto crash in Naija, as a result of the bad roads.

This death sef ehhn. I dont know why it keeps on taking our entertainers away so early. Why not our politicians? Cos I know a hand full of them that dont need to be breathing right now.

Roads, Hospitals, schools, police, securtity, electricity. All these factors play the major role in the development of a country. And we have always had F9 in all of them. And I still wonder why we claim to be the giant of Africa.....what a failed nation!!!!

Nwannem may your soul rest in peace jare :(

BOMB FOR IKEJA KE.......NAWA OHH

So I dont know if you guys heard about one bomb-like material that was found last week in an office somewhere in the busy part of Ikeja. So one of my padi who was within the area when the thing happened, called me and gave me betta gist about wetin been happen. He told me he never knew Naija peeps love  their life so much, until that day when that thing been happen. As in both government workers ohh, and even people wey been come do business around that area been scampeh for their lives. As in no be small run ohh. Im talk say everybody tear race sotey some people been forget say dem even carry motor come that area sef. Even the police people wey been dey control traffic around that area, na them even first everybody run. Shey everybody think say na Usain Bolt sabi run pass?...I hear say that day some people been possibly break im world record sef...ha ha :)

So it later made news, and when I was reading about it, I then found out that sometimes ehhn, this our news people sabi add too much jara just to spice up the story. Okay lemme just give you an example. In one part of the article I read, this was what they said:

Policemen from the Bomb Disposal Unit, it was gathered, promptly arrived the council secretariat and directed that all vehicles be removed from the premises, as they searched for the substance, which they later discovered ....... But my friend been tell me say na the olokpa peeps wey been dey around the area been run pass everybody sef .... and it took a while for the so called bomb squad to come.....ha ha


Anyways first of all, thankGod it wasnt a bomb shaa.
But HA HA ...una dey see how dem take add that word "promptly" just to make am be like say our police peeps are always around to do their job...dem don turn to SWAT shey? We all know the best phrase to replace that "promptly" should be "1hr later."  Cos I still no know who these touts dey try decieve.....Bomb Disposal Unit ke?  ha ha nothing wey we no go hear for Naija. If these touts called police dont even have common O level certificate, then why should I beleive that they are capable of disposing a knockout, talkless of bomb ke.  And secondly, why did the article say that they were searching for the substance ke? If I'm not mistaken, I heard that some people saw the bomb-like material, and that was how they raised the alarm. So why were our bomb squad still searching for a bomb-like material that had already been found???????????????  Ok I get it. Either the person that wrote the article, or the Olokpa bomb squad, were high or smth. I'll say probably the polic squad.......since they never do anything right..ha ha :)
Even when dem reach there, I just been dey try imagine wetin dem been do sef. I guarantee you say dem been carry one kind long stick (those types dem dey use pluck udara and mango) dey chook the so called bomb here and there..... from 40 feet away ohh...ha ha

I've always asked people what's the first thing you would do if you are given the opportunity to become the president of Naija......Some say "providing 24/7 electricity," Some say "providing good roads"  others say "bringing all the previous corrupt leaders to justice"...I hear a lot of good intentions, while some foolish ones will say blah blah blah blah.
As for me, As soon as I'm sworn in as a president, the next day, I'm scrapping out every single human being in the Nigerian police force, and starting all over from the scratch. Minimum requirement will be an Associate degree, Minimum monthly salary would be N80k, coupled with great benefits too.
THEN LET US SEE IF THIS SO CALLED CORRUPTION IS REALLY INEVITABLE!!!  thank me, Mr. Presido Alex...You all are welcome :)

....and did I forget to add that I'll very very quickly change that freaking ugly a** black on black bullsh** uniform that they wear...that sh** is an eyesore for real :)

(vanguardonline)

DISRESPECTING THE NAIRA NOTE...!!! NOT KOOOOL

So I hear say the Central Bank of Nigeria recently talk say anybody wey abuse the Nation's currency note go enter Sanko six months or pay fine of 50K.
But come to think about it.....no be today wey our government start to dey make this kind threat nah. This is probably the 100th time I've heard this in my whole life, and yet I never see one person wey dem arrest because of abusing our Naira. One thing about Naija be say dem go bring out law, but dem no go enforce am lye lye. But on the real tho, we really need to respect our currency jare. And make I no lie, I'm guilty of this kind of crime....and I'm sure all of us are too...no be only me juo :)

I just dey remember back in da days during our secondary school period, I cant remember anyone who actually treated the Naira note in a good way. After buying something, when dem give you your change, you go just squeeze the money put inside your pocket. The worst na when you dey inside bus, when conductor give you change, no time to dey find your wallet nah....just fold/squeeze that paper and carry go. Infact I hardly saw anyone with a wallet to put their money inside...cos our wallet was our pocket...ha ha. And we don squeeze these naira notes sotey some of dem go dey like something wey dem wash with omo. There were sometimes when person go give me change, and when I look at the money, I'm like "wetin be this wey you dey give me?"   and the person's response would be "O boy na person give me this money, so if you no want am, then leave am nah" (all those bus conductors with their gra-gra)

But you see everything changes drastically when you travel out of Naija. Ever noticed how you treat other currencies with respect? I bet you say you cant even remember the last time you squeezed a dollar, pounds or any other foreign currency inside your pocket. Na so we dey treat these foreign currencies like our pikin. Even when you see another person dey squeeze am, you sef go even get the audacity dey ask the person why im dey fold that money like that......ha ha. Even sef some of us wey no been know wetin wallet be, come even get wallet dey put your money inside, in a very gentle and respectful way. Those of una wey dey live outside Naija, can you ever think of a time wey person give you change, and you tell the person say make im give you another one, cos the former get as im be? barely!!! I remember in 09' when I went to Naija to do that irrelevant NYSC bullsh** (I been do am cos my mama been dey force me shaa....ha ha ) I met this guy who came from Yankee too...and everytime this dude brings his wallet out, na so so crispy clean dollar bills you go dey see...all of the notes looking very clean and unrumpled. But when me and this dude go buy something to chop, when dem give am back im change, na so im go just squeeze that naira note put inside im pocket. And as a guy wey no dey hide my mouth, na im I just tell am one day "O boy see as you dey squeeze that hunduras (N100), but you just dey treat all that one one dollar for you wallet like say na N1milla wey you carry."  After that, my guy no come dey yan with me like before....and me too no really send at all too, cos as long as say you no dey pay my bills, or buy pampas wey my pikin go wear, then I no send for you once you start acting shady to me :)

As I said earlier I dey very guilty of this offense too, especially back in da days. But ever since I don dey live for Yankee, I've really learnt a lot, and I always try as much as possible to implement all that was imparted in me whenever I dey Naija. Thats the reason why onyibo man dey give us visa to come school for their land...gather as much positive information as you can, then come back to your freaking country and implement them. If person wey dey Naija dey squeeze our Naira note on a steady basis...and me wey come from Yankee follow dey squeeze our Naira too....then I for kukuma no travel come school for Yankee in the first place nah. But I can proudly say I havent disrespected our Naria note for over five yrs now, and I'm proud of myself :)
HOW ABOUT YOU?????????????  Come on guys, lets all make a difference and treat our currency with respect and care.
That no still commot the fact say our Naira  currency dey useless shaa :)

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 (chout out to ChiChi Oji)


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LADY GAGA KE......WHATA!!!!!...NAWA 4 NOLLYWOOD JARE!!

Okay so let me put it like this... I was a fan of Nollywood movies during its introduction period (2000-2003). But after then, all they've been producing have been TOTAL GARBAGE!!!!.....I thought by now, we should be making movies were you will see a real car accident...and not them showing us two people in the car, screaming and drifting from left and right for about 3 seconds....tv blacks out....then the next thing wey u go see na the car by the side of the road (with no dent whatsoever) and grounded tomato go just full the people body....Come on Nah....its freaking 2011 for goodness sake.

 And the one wey I no still understand be say we can't still make a real gun shot scenario in our movies. Never never ever have I seen something that comes close to a real gun shot scenario in any of our movies. Yes I know a lot of people like Nollywood movies because of the realness n' stuff.....but I just think these producers are just getting ridiculous on a daily basis. If they are not producing up to 1000 movies in one month, then they are thinking of the most absurd name to give their movies. Just take a look all these bull%&@# right here. I've never been a fan of any of dem Nollywood "movies names".......except for "Living in Bondage" shaa...ha ha (gotta love that movie)

Anyways, back to what I was saying, I would really love to know who's responsible for making all these outrageous movies that always take the name of Hollywood musicians. Frist, na Beyonce, then Shakira and Rihana come follow join.....and now na "lady Gaga?"....  UNF**KING BELIEVABLE!!!!

and the worst thing be say Ghanaians don follow join dey pollute our continent with all these irrelevant movies. I really cant wait to meet one of these Nollywood/Gollywood movie producers...no handshake or greeting whatsoever, because I'll just go straight to the point and tell him how horrible their movies are :)

I wont be surprised if we soon beat US to become the largest movie industry in the world. yay clap for ourselves.....but we all know thats cos our producers use their nyash, instead of brain, while making these movies. As a result, many retarded & senseless movies will be produced for retarded people like us who will pay our hard earned money to watch a movie which had a scenario where it says "ten years later" and the actress is still wearing the same freaking wig on her head  !!!!??????  :(

I'm even surprised say dem never bring out "Obama" movie sef...or have they?   ha ha

click below to see more ridiculousness!!!

WHY THE CRTICISM EHHH????

So I hear say dem been arrest some marijuana sellers and smokers for Oshodi area. Nawa ohh.
Anyways shaa all i gotta say be say make all those so called Taskforce people take time ohh :)  Afterall na these same taskforce peeps dey even patronize ibo sellers pass. Instead of them to go find people wey dey commit serious crime, then na guys wey dey smoke ibo wey dem dey look for. And let me just make it clear that there is absolutely nothing wrong in smoking weed. Its so funny to see how weed is always potrayed as something negative, especially in Naija. When you see someone who smokes weed, the person is automatically a criminal, cultist or a bad boy....what a shallow mentality. You see growing up in Naija, I'm sure we were all brought up to see peeps that smoked weed as bad boys, and It was just one of those things that I never wanted to get myself involved in. But mehnn, as I enter Yankee, I began to see life in a different perspective jare. And I must say, ibo is probably one of the best things that happened to man...believe it or not.!!! Smoking weed is one of my hobbies, and I no dey shame or fear to talk anywhere or anytime.

Okay make I ask una this question: Have you ever heard that someone died from smoking excess weed???? OFCOURSE NEVER!!!!   But how many people have you heard that died from taking excess alcohol or cigarrete?  DEM PLENTY SCATTER EHH. So therefore what are we talking about sef (in a thick igbo accent...ha ha) Well if weed was that bad, I dont think doctors would be prescribing it for people here in Yankee and other western countries.

So in a nutshell, I would like all of you anti-indian hemp individuals to stop criticizing this very beautiful natural product, cos you really dont know what you missing....ha ha
But what really surprised me when I was in Naija, was the amount of people that smoke weed recently. I can vivdly say that almost everyone I hung out with in Naija (both female and male) all smoked weed.
One thing I know for sure be say we must witness the "legalization of weed" before the end of our generation...and im don dey happen already small small :)

Back to what I was saying...yeah so make those police task force leave those boys jare, as long as they not killing or stealing from anybody. Afterall man must chop somehow.
But come to think about it, who is our Police trying to decieve ke? We all know what the deal is.....You arrest these guys and tell the public, so we go dey think say una dey do una work well. But at the end of the day, when dem bribe una with small qudi, una go release them....and business continues as usual. Smchew...silly touts!

Isnt it cool how marijuana got different names....weed, pot, indian hemp, ibo, kpom...ha ha ..u gotta luv it jare :)

SPEAKING OF GOVERNORS WHO GOT BIG BALLS!!!!

"Chairman of the task force on recovery of public properties, Dr. Placid Ekwueme, disclosed this to journalists in Owerri at the weekend. Ekwueme, who briefed reporters alongside the secretary of the committee, Larry Ajaero, however exonerated the immediate past governor, Ikedi Ohakim, of carting away government vehicles. Instead, he accused him of allegedly approving the use of public funds for the purchase of several Toyota Camry cars, which were distributed as gifts to politicians. Ekwueme vowed that his committee would recover all such vehicles, promising also that the source of purchase of any vehicle seized would be ascertained." The Publicity Secretary of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) in the state, Chief Blyden Amajiruowu, last week, alerted the public that the ruling All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA), led by Chief Rochas Okorocha, is using the task force to hunt PDP officials, including the Organising Secretary of the party in the state, Chief Linus Iroha.

Umm Okay I think I know why it seems like this my Uncle Rochas administration is doing a good job in Imo state, ever since he's been in office. "HE HAS NO POLITICAL GODFATHER."  In order words, he's not licking anyones hairy sweaty balls, or giving account to anyone at the end of the day.
That's the problem with our leaders....from president to the local government chairman. They all got political godfathers who helped them secure their seat. Therefore they will always remain loyal to them, regardless of the circumstance. I don't think its every Naija politician's aim to come into power, loot as much as possible, and do nothing for the people he/she is representing. I'm very much sure some of them had the intention of making a positive difference when they get into power. But how can you do that when the person who helped you get to that level tells you not to do it? So my people that na the major problem wey we dey face for Naija oh. And until these various political godfathers such as OBJ, Babangida and co. are brought to justice, there will not be any drastic positive change in Naija. Period!!!
Kudos to governors like Rochas, Fashola and Amaechi, wey no really send about stepping on anyone's toes in order to serve their people in the right way.
(odili.net)

I for like know wetin dem go do with the cars shaa ;)

BUSINESS AS USUAL..............................

These are some of the idiots that have made life unbearable to innocent people like us who are outside the country...destroying our reputation up down left right center. These vagabonds were recently caught at the Lagos Int'l airport, trying to smuggle drugs out of Naija.....to FREAKING MALAYSIA OF ALL PLACES KE!!

It’s just crazy to hear about what we Naija peeps do in order to make this so called money. In Malaysia, if you are caught with drugs, that one na straight death penalty. This one no dey for “abeg nah” or “I go sort you smth.” No negotiation whatsoever. So many Naija peeps have been killed in Malaysia due to drug related issues. And some are on death row, and a lot more are in underground prisons, and will never see any type of sunlight till they die. But yet, we got a lot of strong-headed guys who are ready to get rich or die trying. Anyway shaa wetin concern me. One thing I know for sure be say no situation go ever make me get involved in any drug or fraudulent business. The chicken change is not worth risking one’s life.

Curiously, four Nigerians, Messrs Ugochukwu Emmanuel Innocent, Udeh Innocent Chukwuemeka, Olisa Kelvin Chukwuka and Mgbeajuo Alex Chigozie, perhaps, out of sheer greed or ignorance, would have added to the numbers of persons executed by hanging in the Asian country for allegedly trafficking in hard drugs.The suspects were rounded up at the Murtala Mohammed International Airport, Ikeja, Lagos recently having been profiled to have ingested substances that tested positive for amphetamine weighing 5.715kgs.

God bless them say na for Naija wey dem catch them. And I'm so so so sick sick sick and tired of hearing all these suspects talking about "na poverty wey cause me to enter this business. Its the work of the devil."   Nah N***a, devil got nothing to do with your decisions, you greedy muthaf**kers. Go find smth to do...go hawk or sell recharge card...just do smth legal. Jeeez.

Look at their rumpled faces, and look at their names...Chuckwu this, Chukwu that...they all got smth to do with God. What ridiculousness. Igbo peeps ehhn…nawa 4 una ohh
This just reminded me when I took my wife to Naija in 09'. One day she said to me "baby why is it that majority of the igbo names have smth to do with God, but yet you guys are the worst?" and my response was "u don see am nah.!!  :(

(odili.net)

UN SUICIDE BOMBER !!!!!

So this is supposedly the guy that did the suicide bombing of the UN building in Abuja which killed about 23 peeps. so my main question be this: How on earth did this tout manage to pass the gate of the building? Cos mere looking at him alone, you don't need a prophet to tell you say this guy na major criminal :(

You see this Boko Haram peeps are mad funny. You say you are against anything from the Western world, but yet na them dey patronize Western good pass. I remember when they caught their leader, they found enogh laptops, tv and other electronic stuff for im house. So who's actually deceiving who ehhn? Even see as this my guy dey even rock this correct polo shirt. No be Western product? My guy for kukuma wear "tye n' die" shirt...or not even wear cloth at all. Then we go know say dem dey really fight against western culture.

This just reminded me of one church like that wey we been dey go back in da days. Me and the pastor were kool. So sometimes this fool will come out and tell peeps that he's doing full 7 days fasting...no food, no water. Na so im go dey do like person wey wan die...im congregation go just dey pity am, dey pray for am. But neither did they know that this my guy dey even chop pass them after church services. And yes I said it. Cos I caught him one day when he was swallowing better pounded yam and edikaiko soup....And the fool had the nerves to look at me, laughed, and told me to come join him to break his fasting. And I was like "Pator Ogbon I thought your fasting was supposed to end this coming sunday. And he was like "yes ohh, but I have to take something to get energy and preach. You know say this work we dey do no easy."
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You see that's why I don't like all these people that take religion to another level. Cos majority of them are just some bunch of fake a** hypocrites. ...smchew!!