Thursday, June 30, 2011

OH CANADA!!! :)


So my bff lives in Canada, and I'm so so excited cos i'll be going to visit him, his lovely gf and his family today. And yes i'm driving down there, since i no get money for plane...after all from NY to Canada (Ottawa to be precise) na just 7hrs :)
I've been there just once when i went to visit him in 09' during the fall period....ThankGod cold no been dey by then shaa :)

Ehennn...speaking of weather sef....I noticed that when most of we Nigerians hear the word "Canada," the first thing wey go come our mind na cold...as in correct oyi.....or I dey lie?....ha ha  :)  We just feel that Canada is always cold 24/7 365/yr .I think that so cos their winter period is very very brutal shaaand thats one thing people cannnot 4get....Its so bad that if you open mouth to throway spit, the thing go immediately turn to ice by the time im touch ground ;)
Anyways for those of you wey know, and those of you wey no know (def majority of us...ha ha) make i kukuma talk am now...."Canada get the same summer with Yankee"....sometimes sef, their summer dey even hot pass Yankee own. But during winter period, thier own cold no be your mate shaa.

Anyways I'll be there till sunday...and wetin dey even make me just dey happy anyhow about this trip be say enough activities go full ground scatter. Going to the water park on friday; a friends birthday party at the beach on saturday, playing beach beach ball..then partying it up again at night; then his dad's b-day party on sunday...then driving back home later that day...that na if i my eye never dirty from too much shayo by then...ha ha.
Infact ehn, enof merriments go full fround during this 4 days period. Anyways whateva. I've made my point clear..."Canada is not always cold for goodness sake" :)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY.....!!!


So it was a very nice sunny day in Ikwerre rd area, in th city of Port Harcourt....and this dude felt it would be the best time to go steal a car. Him and his crew trailed the car owner and watched him as he parked his car by the rd, close to a filling station.....and went into the market. They now communicated with this moron immediately to go carry out the operation, since Mr. owner no dey around im ride. Therefore my man went in for the kill.......ha ha.

With a master key, my guy start to dey push the thing up and down in order to open the door. Unfortunately, my guy no been know say some people wey dey reside for that area don dey look all im movement for that car. Na so dem catch my guy..then the lynching began, as usual. Later the owner of the car came out and saw what almost happened to his ride, and he thanked the mob for preventing it from being stolen.....and as a smart man wey no like trouble, the guy just enter im Toyota Camry jeje, come waka very very sharply out of the area. But this was just the beginning for the poor car thief shaa....As in dem disfigure my guy face ehh, and decided to give him the final move.....BURNING ALIVE!!!!...ha ha 

Dem don already put the tire (as seen in the picture) and went to the filling station to go collect fuel, to begin the cooking..but the fuel attendants already saw what happened, and decided not to sell fuel to the mob... Since one the vital ingridents in starting the cooking process wasn't available, the mob then decided to beat the guy real good....i mean reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll  goooooooooooooooood :) 

My guy then lost sight in the process.....as in dem been pregnant the thing wellu well.... and they decided to set him free.
Apart from police intervention during incidents like this, i think this is the first guy that has ever escaped from being burnt to death by a mob in Naija. I'm guess God has a reason for sparing his life.....he might be the next Paul...who knows...ha ha.

But one thing I know very very very for sure be say this guy no go ever near person property again, till im enter 6 ft....i bet you even fear go dey catch am sometimes to touch im own property for public......ha ha........stupid a** :)

(punchng.com)

BUT WHY WHY WHY?????

(ha ha... Betty u too much ehh)


I seriously dont understand why people do things like this.......Are the intentions of the producers to make people laugh? or they feel its smth creative? or....infact i no just sabi again sef. You see this na the problem with us. The time wey person dey use to think of smth this ridiculous, could be a good time to actually think of making smth new, unique, and a  generally accepted product that would be making money, at least. Thats where i do respect the white peeps shaa....cos most of the time they always trying to create a product that would help the human race in some type of form. But someone else dey somewhere in Naija dey produce 206 Peugeot jeans wey get the crest and back light.....WTF yo????...dem for kukuma put light inside that red light for back nah....smchew
Anyways wetin concern me sef. Na person wey get so much time on im hands go dey do smth this crazy.

And the makers of this jeans actually expect people to wear this thing and walk around happily, like say everything dey alright?........Chai...nothing wey we no go see for Naija ehh.
Just wondering what those red pads are made of shaa..ha ha :)

IBORI PROTESTERS....AS IN SERIOUSLY?????????



There are strong indications that Nigerians who stormed a London Court with T-shirts inscription such as "Free Ibori" and "Deltans want Ibori Back," to witness the trial of former governor of Delta State, Chief James Onanefe Ibori may be arrested by the British authority if it is disco-vered that the pro-test was illegal.


Okay this is what I dont understand. Some people are ready to die for someone, but yet, that someone no even sabi or send for them sef :(
Thats why these days, I no like to dey get into any unnecessary argument with friends regarding an athlete or any other celebrity......cos at the end of the argument, i quietly ask myself "you don loose your voice finish where you dey try support person, but yet, the so called person wey you dey support no even know if you dey exist."   :(

The status of the people who were present at the Southwark Crown Court, venue of the trial, are now subject of investigations and scrutiny by the authority to ascertain their migra-tion status, while those who are residents in the country illegally risk deportation in line with United Kingdom immi-gration laws..........HA HA HA HA HA HA 


I can guarantee you that after the British authority made such statement about deportation, i swear you no go see any Naija person near that court again. Being in london for a couple of months last year, i can strongly say that there are more illegal Naija peeps in London, than the legal ones. As in ehn, almost everyone I came across over there were either illegal, or their visa was about to expire in any minute.....HA HA. I guess thats why a lot of them make their living through yahoo and other crazy business :(


Anyways its just a shame to know that there a lot of fools in Naija that are ready to risk their life for someone in power who they've never met before, but only heard about; a leader who has had zero contribution to the development of his community and doesnt give a sh** about these people fighting for him; or a leader who goes to your community and shares peanuts to you and your elders in order to support him and promote thuggery within the community.


Now I'm really beginning to believe that some people do think through their a** for real. Big Big shame to all those idiots that are still supporting Ibori. The dude is a major criminal, and I hope he gets punished in a major way too. Period!!!


and thanks again to British govt for using deportation as a threat. una know every ehh :)


(tribune)

EVER IMAGINED HOW MANY NAIJA PEEEPS TRAVELING IN AND OUT OF NAIJA EVERY YEAR?













PASSENGER with cargo traffic at the country's premier airport, the Murtala Muhammed Airport has been on the rise in past two years. The airport manager stated that over five million arriving and departing passengers were processed in 2009 and over six million in 2010, representing 11.41per cent increase in passenger movement.



You see this has been smth that i've been perplexed about. Dem talk say Nigeria dey among one of the world's poorest countries. But the number of people that travel on a daily basis ehhn.....i weedah ehh. For some reason, I've always been curious to know how many people be traveling in and out of Naija...and good to know the answer now. Later u go hear say foreign embassies  in Naija (esp US embassy) are very cruel and hardly give our people visa. But i no just understand why people dey talk like this tho. I've travelled a lot in and out of Naija, and anytime i dey inside plane, its always full.

Everyday, there's always an international flight leaving from Lagos, and they are always full. At first, whenever i was leaving from Naija to Yankee, I usually took connecting flights to Europe (mainly British Airways, Airfrance, Delta, Lufthansa and other) before finally going to Yankee. And I noticed that when this plane leaves from Lagos to Europe, the plane was always filled up .....when it stopped at any of the European countries, a lot of Naija peeps get off the plane, and in the connecting flight to Yankee, maybe about 1/3rd of the passengers will be Naija peeps, while the others were foreigners. But since 2010, i've been using direct flights from NY straight to Naija, and vice versa....And there has been no time that the plane wasn't filled up. As in ehhn, that na when I been confirm say Naija peeps dey travel for me jare......DAYUM......

If you go to Lagos Int'l airport anyday after 6pm, I swear you go think say you dey Oshodi market......The place be mad crowded, and all flights leaving out of the country are always crazy filled up. Sometimes flight ticket could be as much as N400,000 to yankee, but that no go stop the plane from being filled up. Mehn, F**k that, people get money for Naija jare....thats why the few airlines (AirFrance, Lufthansa, KLM, British Airways, Delta, Emirates, etc) that have agreed to come to Naija, are making crazy money from us. Well, thanks to our govt  for assisting them in achieving this.

(theguardian.com)

Monday, June 27, 2011

NOT KOOL..... & VERY UNSEXY...PERIOD!!!

(Betty u too much ehh)




Yeah yeah yeah we all know in Naija, the bigger your belle means the more money u got.....But you see the problem with Naija is that we tend to feel that our culture beliefs and norms are always right...and this makes us hardly accept or learn from the culture of other countries. As far as i'm concerned those days are gone. For goodness sake anybody wey dey like this guy in this present 2011 needs to go to straight rehab. I'm still trying to figure out how on earth does this so called pot belle look symbolizes wealth??????...To my own perspective, I got just three words for this kind of look..."Greed" "Laziness" and "Sickness"

You see sometimes like this, i just dey wonder what on earth could actually make a guy's belle this big...like this is some real serious crazy sh** tho. We are now in a world where people are becoming very weight conscious...But the funny thing be say even the rich men these days in Naija will definitely not want this type of look. Therefore all that notion about "the bigger the belle, the more money" bullsh** should come to an end jare. Infact as i been go Naija, most of the guys i saw that had big stomachs were mostly guys wey still dey hustle, and they just drink and eat irresponsibly on a daily basis.

Just think about it...You go to a joint, you see only 3 guys on a table, but they have about 30 empty bottles of star on their table. Like seriously WTF?? shooo..na race?? I dont know what these guys be trying to prove for real. Okay u fit guzzle 12 bottles..yay...make we clap for am....we go give am gold medal....JEEEZ
Anyways shaa, one thing i know for sure is that this look is very very unsexy, and I dont think there's any normal woman out there who would find this very attractive....DAMN...ha ha

NIGER DELTA EXAM....HA HA
























HA HA HA ........WOW...Nothing wey person no go see for Naija. Who actually sits down, and think of something like this....This is some mad funny sh** tho.

And did I just see "Show working and diagrams if need be?"  CHAI...this people no go kill me jare. U just gotta love us :)

ha ha  see as dem draw the guys their head ehh :)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

NAWA 4 PEOPLE OHH


So in Lagos, a 23 yr old man stabbed his friend to death during a quarrel over a ludo game........!!...AS IN A LUDO GAME OHH!!!
Adeniyi (the killer) said he was leading Afolabi (the victim) in the game, and suddenly Afolabi got angry, which resulted into a quarrel, and then a fight.

Adeniyi alleged that Afolabi punched him on his face and he retaliated. According to Adeniyi, Afolabi broke a bottle on his head thus inflicting injury on him. Adeniyi continued: “I picked up a bottle from our room and stabbed my friend twice.


WTF???!!!...shoooo....is it that serious?...and mind you there was no betting involved in this game ohh..chai!!


But damn yo....Come to think about it, its a freaking ludo game for goodness sake. People for Naija too dey get hot temper for real.......Dont know why people be mad aggressive back home. A life has been lost all because of ludo game. Nothing wey person no go hear for this our country :(


now this people don mess up this beautiful game...anytime i decide to play it in the future, the only thing i go dey think of na how dem take stabb person beacuse of this game...smchew :(


(daily sun)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

F**K JULIUS BERGER...........



WARRI-NIGERIAN workers of Julius Berger Nigeria Plc, Ekpan, near Warri, Delta State, have protested alleged persecution and prejudice against them by a German official of the company, who directed that low-grade black workers should not have a canteen on the company's premises.said the expatriate "created a special canteen for the whites only and other amenities for white only" and also "gave strict instruction that no black should be seen around these areas".
According to the group, a 45-year-old Nigerian security guard, employed by an independent contractor, Mr. Ohare Anthony, who was oblivious of the segregation rule, walked close to the canteen meant for whites alone while on patrol, and unfortunately for the black man, the German national saw him and allegedly unleashed his Alsatian dog on him.

AND WHAT IS OUT F**KING GOVERNMENT DOING ABOUT THIS SITUATION????......How the heck did this sh** happen in the first place? A German bastard will come into our country and treat us like sh**......unleashing dogs on us?

Why the f**k is Julius Berger still doin in Naija. We dont need their services anymore cos these people have just raped our land, all in the name of "doing construction". We have Dantata and MCC and co.....so why still keep these germen touts around? I dont know if most of you are aware that Julius berger have never taken cash from Naija....We've always paid them for their work in exchange of crude oil, just as directed by them.....Can you imaging such bullsh**?
Smth better be done about this issue ASAP, cos this is just unacceptable. Sick n tired of all these white racist bastards that find their way to Naija, and keep on humiliating our people....but yet we go still dey smile dey praise them...WTF.....NIGERIANS IN NAIJA BETTER WAKE DA F**K UP !!!...those days of onyibo oyoyo bullsh** are over...JEEZ

anyways na our govt way i go blame for all this mess...cos if it actually treated its citizens like humans, then these idiots wouldn't have the balls to come into our own country and try such sh**.

(vanguard online)

SPEAKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO TALK THE TALK....AND WALK THE WALK TOO



The Governor of Imo State, Owelle Rochas Anayo Okorocha has directed that his free education programme for primary and secondary schools in the state begins with immediate effect.

The governor, who is expected to swear-in the newly appointed commissioners, acting chairman, Imo State Council of Traditional Rulers and three others, said those who had paid for the current school year to report to their principals/headmasters for refund of such fees.
He also ordered principals, teachers and staff of the state school system to immediately stop collecting fees/levies from students.

Una dey seem am?...shey i been talk am earlier say i get too much faith in this dude. I knew he was one of those people that will make a very big impact once they get into office. Even before he decided to run for governor, he has always given hundreds of students scholarship in Imo State...as in with his own hard earned money ohh. Thats how you know someone who really cares for his community and ready to take all measures in order to make his people comfortable.

I shouldn't be so so surprised about all the positive impacts he's made in the state within a very short period of time while he's still in office. Therefore everyone watch out ohh, cos Imo State will soon be the best place to live in Naija. i know say some of una dey laugh me shey?...una think say i dey dream?...anyways make we dey see shaa....Time shall tell....ha ha 



(vanguard online)

AND WE ALL WONDER WHY WE HAVE A VERY LOW UNEMPLOYMENT RATE...



And later most of our youths begin to complain and wonder why they are unemployed. ITS BECAUSE OF CRAZINESS LIKE THIS!!!

Some blockheads felt they were wasting their time in school, therefore they dropped out.....and the other remaining blockheads wey manage to remain and graduate from school, definitely bribed their way through...believe it or not!!

Wonna ask me how i'm sure about what i'm talking about?.....Well, one good example was during my three weeks NYSC camp in 2009. I swear about 80% of the peeps in my room didn't know how to construct a good sentence...talkless of pronouncing a word.....then can u now imagine if they were told to spell the word on paper????????  :(


THATS NAIJA FOR YOU, SON!!!!

Monday, June 20, 2011

ONLY IN NAIJA!!!....WTF ???

(major shout out to betty & chichi for providing this radical picture.....ha ha )


You know, if not for the words on this flyer, I've already concluded that this criminal looking dude right here is a native doctor. Well, afterall that's actually what most of these our self proclaimed pastors are...preach the word of God during the day, then go do their diabolical/secret society bullsh** at night. Dem know the kind people wey dem dey deceive nah.....cos i'm definitely the last person that will ever fall for this their BS....me and my family have experienced a whole lot of their bullsh** in the past...so never again.

Like lets all be honest here, WTF is a pastor doing with a machete in a church service for Christ sake????? The last time I checked, a pastor's one and only weapon should be his bible. So i'm actually wondering what he will be doing with this machete during this so called deliverance service. Will he cut off part of his body as sacrifice? Or will he cut off one of his members body part by mistake or so? Or will he perform some type of acrobatic sh** for his members? Or maybe he will be swinging his machete up, down, left, right, center in the open air, and lying to his congregation that he's in a very very tough and critical spiritual fight with satan, which he will eventually proclaim himself as the winner?...ha ha
Just wondering shaa...cos in the flyer, they didn't specify who they were going to use this big knife on :(

Before, na handkerchief, then whistle, then chain, then pigeon...now na machete...i bet you soon and very soon, u go see pastor wey go carry gun come church....all in the name of fighting this so called satan.....but the funny thing be say when this satan himself show now, all these clowns go even run pass their members.

Well i dont know bout u guyz, but one thing i know for sure is at the end of the day, majority of these self proclaimed pastors are money hungry individuals just like u and me....and thats why the church is now the best way to hammer in Naija. Even Yahoo business no dey too bring money like church business, cos sometimes maga no dey pay like that. But for church business, all u need do is wake up one morning and start telling people that the spirit of God told u to immediately become a servant of God....then go open a small church..at least u start with ur immediate family and friends....with the help of black power, lil manipulation here and there, as well as adding some form of style/swag/charisma while preaching the gospel.....then u will see that u start getting more and more members.....and then BOOOM......JACKPOT!!!

I'm even surprised they did not put in the flyer that all attending members should come with their own machette......crazy animals

Topic: Radical Night 4 Jesus...Come as u are.....WTF is this???

And any pastor that goes by the name Ifeanyi Godffrey, is definitely a radical/tout/criminal...silly a** dude.....smchew sh** like this be pissing me off so bad.

ONE OF OUR SILLY DAYS!!...HA HA HA

HA HA ...Okay I believe this video was taken in March... prob a few days before i went to Naija. So me and my wife were on our way to go pick up our son from his grand mum's place....and for some reason, we were just in some type of very hyper mood (as usual..ha ha ). So we decided to act a fool right in front of the camera. Trust me, anyone who have seen both of us can definitely tell how silly we are on a regular basis....ha ha
Anyways i did post this on facebook during that period, but i just remembered that not every reader on this blog is my friend on FB...Therefore i just decide say make I post am here just for the fun of it...ha ha....make una enjoy. I even have more crazier videos than this one...ha ha.  My people life is too short jare...so live it to the fullest!!  ;)

Shout out to my luvly/gorgeous wife, Mole...thanks for being as silly, weird and nasty like me. if not, how i for take manage??.....ha ha


video


NAWA TO SOME GUYZ JARE!!!

(photos provided by Betty Braimah)



HA HA HA....dude shaped like a woman....and it doesnt even help the fact that he squeezed himself into that skinny jeans...How pathetic.
Okay so i'm trying to imagine what actually made this guy come out looking like this. I'm wondering if he's gay though. But i no too sure cos i know say plenty gay Naija guys no dey too like to dey come out of that dark closet. And also it looks like a university setting, so i dont think a gay guy will be comfy walking around a campus, smiling and being proud...cos i know say some boys no dey like use eye dey see that kind nonsense.
Or maybe he just like wearing tight clothes...cos mehn, when i was in Naija, i be seeing a lot of dudes wearing tight jeans and tucking in their polo shirt or button-up shirt inside their jeans....and most of them got some very protruding stomach...and i'm like WTF is this dude thinking when he looked at himself in the mirror before leaving his home???  :(
Or maybe my guy didnt have any jeans to wear (prob his clothes were stolen or they were wet) and he really had to go take a very important exam, so he just rushed and put on his girlfriend's jeans.......Umm wait a min.....what i just said doesnt make sense right? cos he should have wore a short or smth else as an alternative....my bad.....ha ha
Infact i no just sabi wetin be this clown's intention when im been dey wear this crap!

umm but F**k that jare....thats a female jeans right there!!!...look at the shape if that freaking jeans...DOG-GONE IT.....HA HA ..Naija people no go kill me jare :)

HA HA HA HA HA ........WOW!!!



HA HA HA HA ...This picture just got me cracking up anytime I look at it. You see during my secondary school days, when we don write our end of term exam finish, there's nothing else to do when you come to school. So thats the period were you go know say boys dey creative ehh. Its either u playing football in the field, or u playing basketball, or u playing counterball on the floor, or you busy trying to look for a fight or a school property to destroy, or u chilling talking to the girls (for those guys wey dey feel say na dem sabi toast woman pass)...infact there are so many activities that we all find ourselves doing once exams are over.   But apart from football and making people laugh, the one thing wey i been do well well na playing of ping pong/table tennis. Mehn this game is mad fun, and during those days, school no get time to go buy full size table tennis board. So a man gats do what a man gotta do....So na so we dey join join desks together in order to form a big tennis-like board. Then we go break plywood and shape it into a square (which we call paco)....then find one long stick to divide both sides evenly...and thats our net....THEN GAME DON SET OHH.....I swear we dey play tennis from morning to night..boys no dey tire ehh.....and the funniest thing be say there are some guys that are very very good on the paco board, and we call them paco masters. But when u put these same guys on the standard tennis board, i swear they wont even win one game.....ha ha ....brush a dog, a dog shall always be a dog i guess.....HA HA HA
Anyways shaa, whenever we couldnt find any long solid wood to divide the boards, we would become creative and find other measures....i remember us putting peak milk containers between the boards; or boys go cut part of their mosquito net and use sticks to hold them at each corner; or sometimes we find about 10 vasiline lotion containers and put them across the middle of the board....as in ehhn, anything to play table tenniss ehh

Anyways, i thought i was a desperado in playing tennis at then....But when i saw this picture right here???.....na there i come know say desperate times actually calls for desperate measures......Never in my wildest dreams would i have ever thought of someone acting as the net on the table.....HA HA ...FREAKING HILARIOUS :)    !!!

imagine being that guy n the table...and i bet this na set game.....the looser will become the net...ha ha

Thursday, June 16, 2011

NAWA OHH!!!


Okay so last week i been dey talk about how being bald na really big f**k up for men, and it can make u have some sort of low self esteem.
Well, never mind what i said, cos i think i found the most major thing wey fit insult man....."HEIGHT" :(

I do have this friend....handsome guy and all that...but the only problem be say my guy dey very very brief. And that sh** be disturbing him all the damn time. Sometimes he be telling us that if there was anything he could ever wish for in life, that would be to add more height. And i do feel so so bad for him tho. And im get one thing wey i don really notice... "if you a very short/brief individual, people tend not to take you serious. As in, they see you as a joke....which i think isn't nice at all :(

M.I we just thankGod for your life say you get very special talent. To my own perspective, this guy is one of the best rappers not only in Africa alone, but on this earth ehh. He's mad talented for real. But you see say money, talent and fame could actually cover up some things tho. Because of how talented M.I is, nobody dey even pay attention to im briefness anymore....ha ha

But dayum!!!...if short guys tell you how many chicks wey don reject dem just cos their height issues ehhn, u gonna feel for them :(

I STILL DEY KAMPE........SAYS OUR UNCLE KANU :)


So I'm sure most of you have heard that Kanu Nwankwo recently retired from football last week or so. To be honest i was very happy in the sense that he retired in a very nice way. Like come on, he has won every championship you can think about (except wold cup tho).  So i was reading one of the papers online, and i just came across a statement which he just made during his retirement.


The Portsmouth forward had an elaborate pull-out from the Eagles with his testimonial at the Teslim Balogun Stadium, Lagos. He said his departure from the team did not mean he had quit football.
"I'm still in football; I'm still playing for my club Portsmouth. I've only decided to leave the national team," Kanu said.

But wait ohh...i thought this dude actually retired from both national and club level...as in i thought he closed the chapter of football in his life. Come on, this nukka is like 62yrs old, and he's still wants to play ball during this generation of Messi and Ronaldo.....u've made all the fame and money you need in life, so why you no wan quit kpata kpata huh? My guy no fit even run again sef......ha ha. It even hurts me more when i see him trying to run so fast for the ball.....I no just know why we no dey respect ourselves sometimes :(
I remember when i went to play pro football last yr in Asia, i swear i saw some Naija peeps there that were telling me how the played for all dem Naija clubs during the 80's and early 90's.......and they still here trying to get a football team....and i'm like WTF????  But on paper, their ages ranged from 28-32.

Therefore Uncle Kanu it would be great of you could retire entirely from anything that has to do with ball....this way you can have enough time to stat enjoying your money. Most of us do really care for you and thats why we dey beg you to STOP for goodness sake :(

And speaking of retirement.....that Camerounian dude on the right def need to be way retired even before kanu....their ages combined should be over 100 and smth.....we need to see newer talents from Africa......JEEZ...whats wrong with these people yo???

BOMB BLAST AT POLICE HEADQUARTERS!!!......NAWA OHH



So the Naija Police Headquarters in Abuja has just been bombed. The parking lot was targeted. And this just happened like a few hrs ago. I guess this incident has also proven the incapability and non-pro-activeness of our dear lazy police force when it comes to security issues :(

Like this whole bombing stuff is getting to another level for real. I'm just wondering who are behind all this, and what are their motives? Like come on, ABJ is suppose to be like a safe haven in Naija, but we just keep on hearing all these crazy bomb blast stories here and there. Anyways hopefully this will make our police more security conscious. To my own perspective, this is definitely straight up terrorism...cos i dont think we can call this a communal clash or whatever we try to call it. Things like this go soon make people dey call us a terrorist nation soon. Infact ehhn, me self no just understand this our country ohh....Nowhere is freaking safe :(

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

NAWA TO THIS GUY JARE!!!

(Ochai you a fool for this one...whatta!!!..ha ha) 


Okay, so I sat on my chair, uploaded this picture, posted it for you guys to see......and I'm still here on this same chair just trying to figure out what type of gesture this guy was trying to pull off? What were his motives before and after he took this picture? who was actually behind the camera that took this picture? why all the ashiness? There's a lot going on here.

INFACT WHY WAS THIS PICTURE TAKEN IN THE FIRST PLACE?????   

pls anyone with a serious explanation should let me know abeg :(

MY CRAZY PICS POSTS WITHIN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS!!!....HA HA


Okay so from now till next weekend, I will be putting up pictures of different women with the most ridiculous faces, outfits and make-ups (pictures will be on the right side of the blog). Well well well, the good news is that these are not Naija chicks shaa. (they are chicks from the Caribbean, esp Jamaica) And the bad news is that unfortunately, they are still black women, regardless.

But trust me, Some of our Naija girls are not too far from this pics i'll be putting up tho...esp the ones back home. Like seriously, when i went to clubs in Naija (esp Abuja) I was totally shocked by the way the girls dressed. As in ehn, at a point i even asked my self "Am I really in Naija, or i'm actually in one of dem clubs in the hoods of Brooklyn?"

Anyways whatever the case may be, I just want to say that i'm so sick and tired of seeing girls looking like lunatics in the club...all in the name of "I'm trying to look sexy". Dont get me wrong ohh, there's nothing wrong in showing of some goodies ohh...cos I know some fellas be getting excited about stuff like that. But at least u gotta show it off in a way that wont make u look like u just came out of a Psykia home or smth. If any of una think say i dey lie, then go to ABJ and take a quick stop at Krystal Lounge between the hrs of 1am and 4am.....as in ehhn, You wont even know when u go start to dey shout, dey ask yourself questions like "where am I?" "what is happening here?" "what am I doing here?" "how did I get here?"
Anyways thats that.......enjoy the pics....ha ha

WTF IS WRONG WITH NOLLYWOOD FOR REAL???????










IN FACT U KNOW WHAT?.........I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH NAIJA MOVIES!!!!.......COS 95% OF THEM ARE PURE GARBAGE!!!!.

And I can guarantee you that very soon they will bring out another movie which will be called "Seeker of the Legend" since Nollywood have clearly ran out of names, creativity and concept!!!!.....I guess thats what happens when an industry is being run by illiterates, touts and vagabonds.

NOLLYWOOD = TOTAL RUBBISH......TOTAL BULLSH**

Monday, June 13, 2011

THIS SHOULD BE UNACCEPTABLE !!!!!!


You see one thing wey i don notice well well be say some people no just like to dey respect themselves. Like seriously WTF is this? Why would a grown ass man walk around with this kind of thing, going about performing his daily activities.....and yet trying to act like he's oblivious about the situation untop of his head.....huh?...huh?

You see in this life its good to be real...and it starts from you being real with yourself first. I bet you say na this kind guy go dey tell people say im dey real...no way ni**a... u cannot be real with someone else when u got a lot of stuff happening untop of your skull. Like come on nah.....why why why? Na by force to grow dada again? Okay its one thing going bald...but dreads + baldness = taboo!! very very unacceptable and should be a crime for real .

If you ever have any doubt in your mind that smth doesnt look good on you, then take it off asap (and i mean material stuff oh. cos if na smth wey come with you naturally, example your face... then i'm sorry i dont know what to say...u just gotta live with it for the rest of your life...ha ha ha)...cos you dont need your friend to come dey tell you how bad it looks, before you become convinced to take it off.

But to be honest tho, among all the natural f**k ups that can happen to man, i believe say nah baldness worst pass....real talk tho....cos that sh** hardly looks good on any man....all it does is just giving peeps real low self esteem :(

WHATTA!!!.......HA HA HA

(shout out to Ochai for sending this absurd pic...ha ha )



This is straight up Gangsta ehh. I no been know say Toyota don dey make jeans ohh. Things like this just make me crack the hell up!!
But what i still dont understand is this tho....yes i'm happy we starting to produce our own stuff.....Cos i know that furniture, clothes, most food stuff have been banned from being imported into Naija. Hence this is a way to encourage our local manufacturers of these various stuff. But I guess with a product like this jeans, our manufacturers are not encouraging us in any way to buy our home made products.....Like seriously i would really love somebody to tell me why i should choose this bullsh** over a Gap, Express or True religion jeans. Why cant our people be creative with the names they give their products huh?  This na the same problem wey i get with our Movie industry....always giving absurd names to all these movies n sh**.

I dont think any type of convincing will make me even set my eyes on these jeans, talkless of bringing out my hard earned cash to buy this crap. Like seriously....LOOK AT IT!!!!...with all the ropes coming out .......To be honest, i no go even gree my own enemy to wear this kind thing.

Although this sh*** is mad funny though, but at the same time, things like this be pissing me off for real...whatta!!!!

Friday, June 10, 2011

YO YO YO .....WHERE MY LOVE LETTER PEOPLE AT?????

(Another shout out to Betty Braimah for this useless piece of crap)


You see at first when i took a glance at this letter, i was like WTF??????
But then i later looked at the date and then i didnt feel so bad anymore...like come on, this was in 1993.....back in the days when peeps in Naija had no swag whatsoever..ha ha
All dem days when people go dey write ditto everywhere for letter...brings back memories ehh..dem love letter days. Infact a big shout out to all my people that were involved in love letter back in da days (the writers, receivers, and even the senders of the letter....ha ha)...Mehn this life is just too funny ehh....things come and go.

And this fool actually finished his letter by saying "your boyfriend in future"...and freaking signed it too .   WHAT AN A**...this letter better be written back in his primary school days...cos anything more than that is totally unacceptable.

"If so, doxology"...WTF???  I just dont understand why some Naija guys be trying so damn hard to use big words they just learnt, or overheard from someone else, in order to impress the ladies....anyways whatever.

HA HA HA .....WHERE DID THEY FIND THIS DUDE FOR REAL?????????




Mehn i think this is some real funny sh** ehh. My guy no just get time for person ehh. Although this sh** is mad funny, but at the same time i dey gbadun the guy shaa. Its not easy to go to church, and all u pray is for God to help u to beat the living daylight out of your fellow man.

You can tell that this dude is no joke and he takes his work serious. He's just a real person shaa. But all that aggressive facial expressions and dem shaking of breast n sh**..........nah nah nah n*gga... there's no need for all that !!....go do all that gra-gra when u dey inside ring, okay.

But damn the way these peeps be pronouncing some words ehhn.....charch, maney, pastars, sapporting, hasband.......mehn i'm just still trying to figure out why my Ghanian peeps be pronouncing vowels "O" and "U" in a wired manner when used in a word.....naw i feel bed far them...ha ha (Shout out to all my Ghanian peeps out there...i love you guys for real)

Quote of the day: "if you want to long live when you still strong, forget about all these busepikis".......???WTF is this dude saying???

Anyways whatever the hell you talking about, i guess we shall all nod our head and agree with you, Mr. local champ...before you beat person die :)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

KANYE WEST SIGNS DON JAZZY AND D'BANJ.........NICEEEEEE!!!


WOW...Okay this is a great news for Naija entertainment industry. Now i can finally say that Naija music has gone global. So I just dey hear say our uncle Kanye West and his crazy a** self has added Don Jazzy & D'Banj to his GOOD MUSIC label. We all gotta admit that this is a really big big accomplishment for Naija music. I knew it was just a matter of time, and our music will blow. I no go even dey surprised if dem go soon dey play Naija jams for Yankee night clubs (sike)

In D'Banj's twitter account, he tweeted “Just like yesterday myself and my brother did Tongolo. 7yrs later Mo’ Hits signs with Good Music. Best birthday gift ever. God thank u.” 


Yes ohh I dey follow ThankGod for una jare. Im no easy my brother.  I actually remember when that "tongolo" song came out, and he was talking about koko, dikoko and all that bullcrap....and i was like "yo this guy got some swag and a real catchy song tho. Now all that hard work don pay off. Mo Hits una too much, and i really gotta thank Don Jazzy (aka Naija Dr. Dre) for giving us the best music/beats in Naija over the years.


And a big shout out to all other talented Naija artists for real. I could remember 10 yrs ago, every Naija artist wanted to copy Yankee style. You couldnt eve hear any Naija song on the radio at then. But now things have totally reversed. Things like this makes me love my country jare. Now people all over the world are loving our food, our movies, our music, our swag..lol....in fact we too much eh. I just pray we keep on using our talents for good tho...shikenah


and shout out to Vick.O too..i promise you will be next :)

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

SUICIDE KE?...NAWA OHH


(Shout out to Jay's baby for providing me the link to this news)

"A middle-aged man, Mr Jamiu Sikiru, who attempted to commit suicide by cutting off his penis with a razor blade at Ijebu-Ode in Ogun, has regained consciousness.
Sikiru, who spoke with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on his sick bed at the Ogun State Hospital, Ijebu-Ode yesterday, said frustration made him to carry out the act, explaining that he made several attempts to kill himself, "due to frustration and depression’’.

Okay i know a lot of we Naija peeps are currently going through stress, frustration and depression as a result of our govt's failure to take care of us....and I also know that such situation begin to make people start looking for other alternative measures for them to put food inside their belle. Na wetin make u go just see one correct man wey get im bachelors degree, but yet im be confirmed armed robber overnight, or u go see some peeps turn to beggers, or even peeps using their brain to think of ways to dupe their fellow man....ha ha (shout out to all my yahoo yahoo peeps....one day, the hunter shall be the hunted shaa....shikenah)

But trying to commit suicide as a result of frustration? i never hear am before ohh...and chopping of your dick as a means of committing suicide?...infact this guy is a big a** JOKE!!!...cos the last time i cheked, people commit suicide through different ways that will make them die real quick without feeling much pain....so wetin make this my guy no try shoot or hang himself huh?.....U see this na why God no dey too answer some of us our prayers. You dey cry of frustration and hardship, but yet u go cut off the most valuable gift you ever had. This life dey funny shaa.....while others dey find prick, some others just dey waste their own unnecessarily.
 U see we Nigerians have gone through a whole lot."Hardship" "Suffer" "Poverty".....it has even reached a level where we now see these words face-2-face on a daily basis ehh....come on nah. But one thing I know for sure is that we Nigerians are good people (umm...well i take that one back cos majority of us are not..ha ha ) Okay lemme say are happy people and ever resilient, no matter the situation we find ourselves.

So in a nutshell, I would really really luv not to hear this whole "chopping of prick with razor blade" bullsh** anymore. thanks

(nationonlineng.com)

Sunday, June 5, 2011

WTF?????


Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in my life I can officially say i've seen what is called "Beating someone beyond recognition" :(

Now i know say that statement no be parables at all ohh.....so my guyzes, abeg dont do anything that will result to you looking like this...cos this doesnt look kool at all...and is very very unsexy.

I'm guessing that the only group of people that can make someones face look like this is the Naija army.....cos dem dudes no dey play at all, and dem sabi f**k person up very very badly :(

but...but....ummm...WOWZERS!!......DAYUM!!!

KIDNAPPING GONE WRONG??????


So two kidnappers were caught while in the process of collecting a ransom for a 4 yr old girl which they kidnapped from a hotel in Ughelli, Delta State.

The parents of the girl were contacted by the kidnappers, and they told them to bring N4milla for her release. So the parents informed the police bout the situation...and our useless police told her parents to play along with the kidnappers. The payment arrangements were made, so in the process of going to collect the ransom at the drop off location, that was when our police now surrounded and apprehended the kidnappers (good job guys...ha ha )

Anyways we know this whole kidnapping thing has reduced drastically, compared to like 2009 &10'. There are still some incidents of kidnapping here and there, but what really caught my eyes about this one was that when Policemen apprehended them at their hideout while trying to pick up the ransom, one of them, said to be mastermind of the abduction, was surprisingly a pastor...as in a FREAKING MAN OF GOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!


The hotel worker who kidnapped the girl disclosed that he was told by his pastor to abduct her, and he would be given N1 milla.
And on his part, the pastor who is in his 40's, said it was the handwork of the devil.
as in WTF YO!!!.....U see this poor devil guy don suffer for real...we go always blame am for both the ones im do, and the ones wey im no even do....i guess it sucks to be him tho...ha ha 


But hearing that a pastor was involved in this whole kidnapping thing is just disgusting & pathetic for real.....and later u guys want me to wake up on sunday morning, and go worship at the churches of these idiots/criminals  disguising themselves as men of God???...i'm sorry thats not f**king happening!!!    Almost all of them in Naija are all the same......believe it or not. Period!!!

I THINK I LUV THIS ROCHAS DUDE!!!!!!!



So my Governor Rochas Okorocha of Imo State has ordered immediate payment of arrears of salaries currently owed civil servants in the state.



Chief Okorocha, who gave the order yesterday when he paid an unscheduled visit to the State Secretariat Complex, Port Harcourt Road, Owerri, also condemned lateness to work by some staff at the secretariat.
"My administration will not condone lateness to work and laziness. Flimsy excuses like traffic congestion would no longer be tolerated," Okorocha said.


Also, as his personal token towards the implementation of the free education and enhanced healthcare system in Imo State, Governor Rochas Okorocha has announced the forfeiture of his monthly salary.

Yo this dude aint playing tho. U see lil actions like this can vividly tell you that this Okorocha dude is here to work, and not steal, kill and destroy (lol had to put that one in). For some reason I've always liked this man ever since I saw him come out for the presidential race a few yrs ago. Although he lost then, but smth kept on telling me that this guys will come out again sometime...and here he is....the  governor of Imo State. I just pray this guys brings the change we need in Imo state, cos all dem other governors have raped that land sotey milk no fit come out of the poor state's breast again :(

Although i dont wonna start blowing his trumpet already. But at the same time i do commend him for his actions, which certainly speaks louder than words. Incase u guys dont know, i'm originally from Imo state, and its just so good to know that a positive change is coming to that land, after all these yrs.  Cos I'm just sick and tired of people  knowing Imo (esp Owerri) only for its the party grooving, and all the hundreds of thousands of females in the various universities around town.

So in a nutshell, i'm in the Rochas bandwagon now..........till further notice :)





guardianng.com

Thursday, June 2, 2011

SEE TOTAL LOCK-UP EHH.....HA HA HA


This is probably one of the funniest thing i've seen in a while ehh (after Vick.O's music video..ha ha )
Looking at this pic just takes me way back to my secondary school days....during exam period, boys go just dey copy scatter. Well, as a honest guy, which i am :) i no go just come here dey lie say i no been copy. Well i actually did, and matter of fact i think i even invented one dubbing technique...and it actually worked for me shaa....but make una no start to dey think say i be dummy ohh...cos i was actually a smart guy, but for some reason, dubbing was just one of those things that u have to do during desperate times...and i mean during really really desperate times.....i'm sure most of us have been in that such situation ;)

So some months ago, i got into this random conversation with some friends and i was telling them that if i was given the opportunity to become an invigilator in a secondary school exam hall, i swear none of the students go copy at all...cos i've been there, done that, and i'm very much aware with all the various copying/dubbing techniques. But my friends dey tell me say "na lie" cos they feel every generation brings their own different dubbing techniques in order  to beat the system. But i no gree ehh..as a bad guy ehhn, nothing wey dem go do wey i no go detect am sharp sharp.....As in come on nah...una think say i just been go 3 different military schools for for going sake? nawa ohh

I'm sure this has happened to some of u guys before....okay its like this.....So a very important exam is coming up, and u have already picked who you going to sit with during the exam....and only for u to show up in the exam hall, and the invigilator does some random seating changes, and u now end up sitting with someone else...who's probably a dummy :(   ha ha oh boy ehh that na when questions like "wetin make me no study for this exam?" go just dey run through your empty brain throughout the whole time for the exam hall...ha ha

But DAYUM!!.. this is a perfect example of a situation where "u are being held by your balls."....ha ha....i really gbadun this system scatter...i never thought about smth like this, and i dey bet u say this system go somehow reduce dubbing....to a certain extent shaa :)

BACK IN DA DAYS!!!..........HA HA HA


HA HA HA HA HA .......Shout out to all my military school alumni out there. Mehn only if people knew how fun military schools were in Naija. Well i guess i'll be the best person to explain that, since i found my self in the three major military schools: Military school Zaria, Airforce Sec. school, PH, and Navy Sec school, PH.
and yeah i know what you guys are thinking.....and yes i was stubborn like that.....so what??  ehhhn? so what ehh?.....HA HA
Anyways shout out to all the people that have experienced this type of punishment ehh....when u do this crap for even 1min, then u go know say you don enter a whole different realm.  NOT KOOL AT ALL.

but to be honest, this is some serious child abuse sh** tho!!...ha ha