GOD...WHY ME NOT OHH!!

WHY? WHY? WHY?....well i dont know about u guys, but by bodi just dey sweet me somehow anytime i see smth like this. To be honest i haven't had a really correct draw soup in a while ehh. even the person wey dey chop the soup self no even sabi. U know u need some certain skills to be an expert in eating draw soup...cos no be everybody sabi am. But if u wonna acquire these special skilss, then holla at ya boy. But seriously tho, u see this is why i dey miss home sometimes. At least u know for sure say ingredients go always dey on a 24/7 basis.
But there's also smth i've always noticed ...Is it just me, or outside food dey usually sweet pass? Ofcurse the food we eat in our various homes is sweet. But.. but Damn ...there's just smth about eating either in a restaurant or in a family friends house. The food always taste different and so sweet..infact i no know jare...whatever...i hope i'm not the only one that feels this way shaa :)

NAWA OHH.....WHICH LEVELS??????????

If u look at this pic at first, u gon think its like a group of peeps praying in the mosque. But na lie ohh. This na for person wedding ceremony gon-goh....Yoruba wedding ceremony to be precise :)
CHAI...but mehn, nothing wey person no go see for this world oh....so all this one too follow for culture ke? Well i dont have much to say, but...DAYUM is there any need for this session to take place? How man go lie down flat for ground just because im won marry person daughter?...Nna nawa ohh. me self no just understand. Anyways thankGod this kind thing was never in my agenda. But Yoruba peeps una dey try jare. Una dey carry this una respect thingy dey go another level ohh. And to all my Yoruba pals out there...if u know say u go do this kind thing for ur wedding day, then pls abeg kukuma no just invite me...cos I no won come see u dey lie flat for ground like say u dey receive punishment. This na just major F up nah.  
esp when u later find out the girl u did all this for is a mini slut :)

NEW CHAIRMAN IN CHARGE......IGBO KWENU

As we all know, our Presido dropped all the service chiefs as well as the Inspector-General of Police and the Director-General of State Security Service (SSS).................(ha ha im be like say this man job na to dey  sack people turn turn ehh)


Anyways i just found this story very interesting cos the Presido appointed Major-General Onyeabo Azubike Ihejirika as the Chief of Army Staff. We all know the last time someone from the South occupied this position was like 44yrs ago during the time of Our late uncle Aguiyi-Ironsi, who was the Chief of Army Staff.

Ihejirika, a former General Officer Commanding 83, Division, Lagos, replaces Gen. Abdulrahman Dambazzau.Ihejirika is now in a position to become the first four-star General of Igbo extraction in the history of the Nigerian Army. 

This is good news for our igbo people. I think its about time they begin to hold sensitive positions in the country jare. nothing do una


(thisday)

U GO FEAR DIE EHH....THIS ONE NO DEY FOR RAMBO!!

Which kind wickedness come be this one self. As a full fledge grown ass man, I still dey fear tokii (esp that red elastic thing wey dey for the front nose)....then talkless of this small pikin.
But I'm sure if you grew up in Naija as a kid, you've definitely had one of these encounters. Even if it wasnt with a turkey, but at least it was probably with some other animal or smth......and its usually or so called uncles or aunties that love putting us in this situations, so that they could laugh about it, while u crying.

THIS PIKIN DON COME AGAIN........

WTF is wrong with this dude for real?.....always thinking bout some messed up sh** to do. Last time, na music wey im won dey sing...and now he's trying to do his own reality bull***
I would really love to know which girls will go for the so called audition, cos this is just Krazyyyyy. Which kind name come be "JewelforJim"?......WTF were him and his organizers thinking?  Even this one wey dem decide to do the audition for Yankee, I'm just wondering if the reality show will take place in Naija or Yankee? or maybe they just tried to do the auditioning here in Yankee so that people back in Naija would be like "o boy na Naija Yankee babes dey the show ohh..i no go miss am". Cos we all know say Naija peeps too like anything Yankee.
Abeg Abeg...and I'll keep on saying it....if any of una know this man, abeg make una help me beg am, make im stop all this barbash wey im dey do. He should stick to his acting jare

But I think the best part of this flyers is the place where they wrote "Eligibility - Ladies Only"          HA HA.. this people no go kill person ehh...dem no won hear say man come do audition :)

SEE AS DEM FALL SHINA PETERS HAND EHH...CHAI

So our "One hittest wonderers" uncle Shina Peters was in Yankee, and he was supposed to perform in Maryland during the weekend. But unfortunatley the show was shut down by police, cos the organizers didnt have a liquor permit. So everybody start to dey go their mama house nah. Cos dem know say this one no be Naija police wey u go give bribe n sh**.
You see this is what happens when we take all this our toutish and nonchalant attitude to another land. Cos seriously, how da heck will the Organizers not know that they needed to have Liquor permit while they were serving liquor? Or dem think say na for Shrine wey dem dey do the show?. Anyways shaa i no sure say Uncle Shina Peters was bothered cos I believe he already got his pay in advance.
This na why i no like to dey go most of these Naija events...cos the so called organizers never do things right. we are prob the most disorganized set of peeps in Yankee....the truth is bitter , but thats just what it is.

On the other hand, i'm still surprised peeps actually paid to go see our Uncle Shina perform.....like seriously how many songs does this dude have?..Cos I believe i was still in primary school when he made his last album....Anyways Uncle Shina nothing do u jare.....u too much, and we dey believe u scatter :)

CONGRATS TO MY MAN.....BRUNO

One of my Airforce Secondary school pals, Bruno, just got married in Canada. Congrats to u bro. and wish u and wifey all the best, since u've decided to join the league of "young men wey get liver"
Anyways I Just decided to post this picture cos of the way the white kids looked in our traditional outfit .....kinda kool.....Ummm but Is it just me, or something aint just right when i see white peeps (esp the men) wearing dem African attire. Yes yes I thank you for appreciating our culture n stuff..but u guys look extra weird when u wearing our clothes.
Anyways congrats again jare..im no easy.

check out more pics

SUPER EAGLES DON COME AGAIN.......LOL

LMAO...Okay so during the weekend, Naija defeated Madagascar 2-0 in their opening match of the ongoing Gabon/Equatorial Guinea 2012 Africa Nations Cup qualifiers. Great good job. So now the members of teh Super Eagles now believe that the National Team was on its way to regain its lost glory 

"We are determined to show that the South Africa World Cup was an unfortunate outing, which did not reflect the quality of our game," Odemwingie said. "Now that the Nations Cup qualifiers are on the way, we are ready to redeem our image." 

HA HA is it just me or our Super Eagles just crack me up all the time? Just cos una don beat Madagascar, and now u think u are regaining ur lost glory?...HA HA..this is some real mad funny sh** jare.  See ordinary Madagascar wey dem no dey even wear boot play ball...na im una score them only two goals, and u have started regaining ur lost glory?.....this is like an SS3 boy beating up a JSS1 student...and felt he achieved smth very very important :)

( theguradian)

BOY FINDS N9 BILLION IN ACCOUNT............NAWA OHH

So one boy dem dey call Ade-yemi Durojaye, who is a student in Ibadan Polytechnic, went to cash money from his account which had about N3000. Reaching the First Bank ATM, he performed his transaction, but only for him to find out that the printed receipt showed that he had N9,309,019,869.91k.
Na im convulsion almost catch my guy ehh. To even make sure he wasnt dreaming or smth, the boy even withdrew 20k from the account, and it went through. But being a good boy which he was, he went to report the incident yesterday at the bank. And by the time they tried to check the account again, the money was gone.
Very wierd incident, and yess I believe the guy made the right decision tho.So the question i really wonna ask is this...WHY DONT GOOD SAMARITANS LIKE ME EVER EXPERIENCE THIS TYPE OF INCIDENT HUH? cos i know i would have definitely made a good decision too :)

A VERY IMPORTANT ARTICLE THAT COULD CHANGE YOUR VIEW ABOUT NAIJA FEMALE NURSES ABROAD......

I know a lot of peeps (including me) have problems with all these Naija girls that are nurses here in Yankee, and prob other foreign countries. If you look at the trend of the Nigerian divorces here in Yankee, the woman is usually a nurse...and to my own perspective, i think its cos they feel they making so much money and dont really give a F**k about whatever.
But thanks to my sister from another mama (Chizoba Anako) who is a well seasoned nurse, and she wrote an article giving a deep explanation of Naija girls and nursing programs. Pls read this, cos this is very informative

Letter to my Nigerian “Husband/Boyfriend” let me educate you” From an educated professional “Nigerian Nurse” RN, B.S.N………by Creamy

Okay so I have sat down and watched relentlessly the way “Nigerian female nurses” are portrayed and scrutinized by “Nigerian men”. I have taken it upon myself to educate my fellow Nigerian men in regards to their perception of female Nigerian nurses in America. Occasionally, I visit blogs and different websites both nationally and internationally especially Nigerian blogs, and it’s shocking to see the kind of negative image and press “Nigerian nurses” receive on a daily basis, and I mean literally. So I have decided to set the record straight.

THE ULTIMATE MAKE-OVER...........COS SHE'S TAKING OVER.....HA HA

(shout out to hafsa daba & chichi oji for providing the pic)

U see this na one very funny, but disturbing picture at the same time.
The funny part of it is that if u look well well, this goat actually looks like someone we know, or have come across somehow. If u think say i dey lie, just scrutinize the pic really well. Forget about the legs and stuff, and focus more on the upper body and face, then u gon see what I'm talking about. The first thing that came into my mind when i saw this pic was one of my secondary skul teacher/"AUNTIE" (in naija pronounciation)

Then the disturbing part of this pic is to know that someone actually woke up one bright morning, was bored as hell, looked outside his yard, what did he see? an innocent goat... and he/she was like "umm.. to dress this goat no go be bad idea ohh". And actually took his/her time to catch the goat and pimp her out. I've owned a goat before, and i tell u, these are the most stubborn creatures ever. So i could just imaging all the work this guy did in terms of trying to catch the goat, dressing her up, and making her stay calm while taking the pic......this is just classic!!!!!
.WE TOO MUCH EH
opefully the person who did this wasnt having any type of fantasy before he embarked on this make-over :) 

GHANA vs NAIJA........NO HOME TURF ADVANTAGE FOR GHANA :(

Me self don dey tire for this whole Naija/Ghana problem that has been going on for a while now...First it was "Ghana must go" vs "Naija must leave cos they contaminating our country"...next one come be "Nollywood" vs "Ghollywood", and now prostitution tournament.


Ghanaian girls who offer sex for money at Adum, a suburb of Kumasi in the Ashanti region, have expressed anger over some Nigerians importing younger and prettier girls who are gradually taking over the sex business. 
Shoo.... anyways i'm happy Ghana is finally accepting the fact that we look way better than them..... thank u thank u Charleys for the acknowledgment :)   But at the same time they shouldnt be surprised, cos if Naija peeps put their mind on smth, it's def a wrap!!!!

If not for the intervention of the assembly member for the area, Albert Osei-Banahene, the enraged sex workers would have hit the streets in their nakedness and marched from one office building to another, just to get the authorities to come to their aide.
shey una dey see that naked thing wey i don dey talk about? Its like most African women want to be naked these days.......Anyways i think i might support u guys on this move shaa.....yess "do it..do it..commot am"..Ohh yeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhh :)

“We would start attacking any underage ashawo from Nigeria because they are spoiling the market,” one of them noted. Interestingly, though both groups are prostituting, the Ghanaian girls say they are commercial sex workers while the Nigerians are ‘ashawos.’

Ah ah ...come on nah...which levels? make una no touch my Naija girls for thia ohh, if una no want make kill one of my Ghanaian friends for hia (kruma & co.)

OH Naija ehh..we no dey ever carry last for any illegal stuff...Although this news is just mad hillarious, this isnt smth to boast about tho....First it was Italy, then Saudi Arabia, Morocco, Ivory Coast..and now Ghana......May God save us

And finally let me give you guys a take home assignment. What is the difference between a "commercial sex worker" and an "ashawo"?

(ghanaweb.com)

YOBE TO BUILD 31 TOILETS...........GUESS HOW MUCH??????????

So the Yobe State Gov't is planning to build 31 standard public toilets in the 17 council areas of the state...and the so called toilet-project is worth more than N200 million.....

So if i'm not mistaken, 1 toilet will cost about N6 milla to build.....AS IN 1 TOILET OHH...ordinary basic laterine...
A whole Yobe State wey their land dey barren on a 24/7 basis. Instead of the Governor to find a way to provide food for the people, na toilet wey be im concern. After-all no be when person chop well, wey im go come go toilet?
Secondly, what is actually the need for the toilets when there's no reliable water system to run them?
before u know it, our usual lack of maintenace style will make the same toilet horrible for its users (If u dont understand what i mean, then go take a visit to a public toilet in Naija..esp those ones wey dey located for motor-park areas.)
You see this is the kind of news that u can hear only in a country like Naija....and later we go want make people from other countries dey respect us....

OLD WOMEN IN CALABAR SHOW OFF THEIR GOODIES....!!!!!!

Some women ranging 50-80yrs in Cross River State, arrived Calabar half naked in order to protest the illegal arrest of their children during a local govt election that was held during the weekend. Their children were arrested because they vowed not to support PDP, and were trying to protect their votes during the election.
I do feel their pain and I hope the Govt better take immediate measures in order to bring those peeps out.
But..but......ummm......is it just me or Naija women (40yrs and up) don dey do some kind strange strange things for the past two weeks?... First, it was "sex starvation"...now na "Breast fiesta"...........are they really trying to send us a message? Anyways I don't think i'm comfortable with these old women walking around naked up and down jare. Maybe if it were the younger crowd, i could slightly consider it :)

(punchng.com)

BEST PHRASE EVER!!!!

Okay I just came across a news on the net today, talking about how an American man, Mr James Tillery (he was part of that whole Wilbros scandal bull***) who committed crime in the US from 2003 -2005 ran away to Nigeria, and ended up naturalizing in Naija.....and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ..
Anyways he recenlty got arrested by Naija police, working together with the FBI in order to bring him back to Yankee...but reaching the airport, our immigration officials didnt agree, because some necerssary steps needed to be taken in order for him to be handed to the FBI, and taken back to Yankee...and the FBI didnt take these steps..
 Anyways in a nutshell, this is what cracked me up in this story....this was what the lawyer of the man Mr. Tayo Oyetibo (SAN) had to say:

The arrest of Tillery by the Nigeria Police on the authority of a US District Court and handing him over to the FBI is preposterous.“The officials did not show respect for the laws of Nigeria … Nigeria is not a lawless nation. Due process should be followed in the process of extraditing him.” 

lol lol...."NIGERIA IS NOT A LAWLESS NATION"    .............classic :)

(punchng.com)

BYE BYE POLICE CHECKPOINTS!!!!

"The Nigeria Police has banned checkpoints across the country following several fatal accidents caused by the checkpoints mounted by the police. The Inspector-General of Police (IGP), Mr. Ogbonna Onovo, who ordered that police commissioners in all the 36 states of the federation must implement the order immediately." 

OH WOW...so na now wey IGP just dey wake up from sleep?.......ITS ABOUT TIME EHH

Well i guess lets all watch and see if they are for real this time...cos i know this isn't the first time such thing have been said.

 But honestly i think we still need some form of checkpoint in some kind rugged areas ohh....esp in tha Eastern region, where armed robbers full like ma :)      but this is good news tho.

(pmnews.com)

NO JONATHAN, NO SEX.......SHOOOOOOOO

(shout out to Chichi Oji for the link)
I know this happened last week but I just felt it was mad funny eh.
So the African Women in Diaspora, (OAWDN) threatened to go on a seven-day sex strike, if Jonathan does not publicly declare his interest in the 2011 election by Friday, August 27, 2010.


“We unequivocally support the presidential bid of Dr. Jonathan and call on him to declare his interest to contest the election on or before Friday 20th August 2010; failure of which will compel the women to embark on a-seven-day sex starvation and will appeal to every well meaning Nigerian woman all over the world to join with us in the journey of sex-starvation."

SEX STARVATION KE???......HA HA HA HA ...ofcourse why wouldn't  u ladies would go on a sex starvation?... See women wey don reach their menopause dey open their mouth dey talk about sex starvation. In fact what i really want to know is if they are doing it to suffer us men...or they just doing it for their personal achievement?  cos me no just understand wetin dey happen for thia ohh. (and we all know the young Naija girls no go join to do this kind fasting, since their body too dey sweet them.)

Anyways I guess they doing it probably for the later...cos if they doing if for the former, then they don fail exam be that na  cos we men would prove that we can do without u ladies...as long as our friend, aunty Palmela dey around eh :)

But seriously tho, who are these women trying to deceive?....cos i sure damn know that u can hardly see any of our African parents (late 40's and up) that are still sexually active. I never even saw my parents kiss for one day self.  Lets be for real right here u know... Having sex twice in a month for them is even too much.. I wont be surprised some of these women haven't even been touched by their significant others in a long ass time ehh. So this so called one week sex starvation should be a walk in the park for majority of them :)   nothing do una jare :)



(odili.net)

ANOTHER LOVER LOVER DEATH!!!!

 SHOOOOO.....wetin come be all this killin n stuff.....im be like say this na the season wey guys their blood don dey hot. So this fugly mofo right here, uncle Emmauel, just killed his lover, aunty Paulina
Why?.....just beacuse while they were chilling together in her room which he rented for her, she received a phone call. So now my guy come dey feel say Paulina dey do some kind back yard runs. Na so arguement don start, and later aunty Paulina fell down during a scuffle, and she never got up (according to wetin im tell us ohh). He told police he didnt mean to kill her....they were just playing......LOL..which kind nonsense play come be that one self...i weedah ohh.
And mind u, this same Uncle Emma lives with his wife and his 5 children ohh....So come there's some kind of in-balance here....my guy dey chop two bush-meat at once, but he didn't want the deceased to do the same...ha ha ....we too much ehh :)

NAVY MAN KILLS POLICE MAN........

 yeah i know u guys prob asking what this pic gats do with the news..well i just felt this was the best pic that describes our forces :)
 So a Naval rating just shot a Police man to death this weekend for Port Harcourt.
Wetin cause the fight?....na just ordinary woman ohh.. While the police was on duty at Saipem oil (mind u he took the chick with him), the naval guy accosted him and they had a heated argument, and before u know wetin dey hapen, my guy just bring out im gun, come tear the police boy for chest. umm...... lol.... i guess it must have been really serious for the navy guy to go find the police for im work place. And just like that, a life was lost...Una dey see wetin woman dey cause? I Still dont understand why guys be fighting or killing their fellow guys just because of a women......if she cheats on you, or if she no want u, just take am with good faith and move on to the next one. shoooooooooooooo
Anyways the navy guy and the woman were both arrested.. But Nna nawa ohh....Abeg make dem free the woman jare...afterall no be her carry gun.
Anyways, as I always say...this is what happens when illiterates and touts are being recruited into the Police and military......

(punchng.com)

MARRIAGE JOB POSTING?..........NAWA OHH

(shout out to Hafsa for providing this pic)
You see this is what I dont understand bout all these old ass ibotic Naija men that came to Yankee during the early 80's and 90's. Firstly they want to marry a Naija girl living in Naija, then file her papers and bring her to the States. So i really wonna know whats the difference between the Naija girls already here in Yankee, and the ones living in Naija? I bet they prob feel the chicks in Naija are more reserved and their eye never tear yet...... and also you dont need to spit too much game to them.....All you need do is tell them you live in Yankee and give her some type of $1 Yankee souvenir (even if na plain  t-shirt, opener or keyholder)..then the rest is history..she go trip scatter ehh...
But the truth of the matter be say its the chicks living in  Naija that are dangerous...and when they finally get their papers and enter Yankee, their eye go tear reach their ears, and before u know it, they dump the guy's ass. So now who's the mugu?

"ability to get visa easily would be an advantage"......HA HA ...See requirements ehh

I'm just sitting here imagining what the conversation would look like if a girl actually calls that number :)
ibotic chick: "hello good morning Sa, i saw your posting in to-day paper, so I wanted to know if it is still open.
wife seeker: Yes it is. I'm still accepting appilications. So how wa uuu? tell me about yourself
ibotic chick: I am fine tank u ..but pls i dont have credit. can you call me back? or send me credit?

 u just gotta luv us

VICAR SET TO MARRY HIS NAIJA MALE LOVER..........AWESOME!!!

 

 

"to former vicar Colin Coward, it is nothing short of a marriage made in heaven. But the 65-year-old is expected to raise a few traditional eyebrows when he walks down the aisle with the man in his life – a   25 year-old Nigerian model called Bobby."


U see as you see me so, i certainly dont have any problem with gay peeps. But when it comes to a gay man acting as a servant of God, Come on...thats just absurd and unacceptable!..........Anyways that one concern them....Afterall who am i to criticize my fellow full grown adult male for putting his d**k into the buttocks of another man huh? And we all know for sure this is not the first, or will be the last time hearing about a man of God being Gay and getting married to his partner.

But what caught my eyes in the whole article was the place where dem talk say the Nigerian boy na model :)
cos on a serious note, I would love to know what exactly what, or who she is modeling for :)

and also from the look of the pics, i can already tell who's the bitch in the relationship...ha ha 


(www.dailymail.co.uk)

OH ZOBO!!!

I dont know bout u guys, but i grew up drinking kwunu and Zobo. I prob drank them (esp Zobo) like everyday of my life from JSS1 to JSS3 during my Airforce secondary school days in PH.  As of then they used to put them inside the pure water package and sell them in school. Chai, just remembering those days of "Aunty give me one zobo, one kwunu and two wraps of Agidi"....CHAI U GO FEAR NAH

So I was very excited when i saw this new package. THIS IS AWESOME. whoever taught about this is a genuis jare. I can bet u if they market this product very well, it will certainly do better than all those caprison and lacasera dem wey full everywhere, dey give people diabetes anyhow. And the good thing too is that this is a very healthy drink. Pls if u havent tried Zobo before, I suggest u do...abeg i dey take Baba name beg u...i promise u go like am.

U see this is what we're talking about. It would be nice for us to invest more in our home made goods as well as patronizing them. This way we no go dey depend on any country juo, thereby leading to our economic growth ......shikina!!

HOW MUCH NAIJA POLICE MADE ON CHECKPOINTS!!!!

"Human Rights Watch, HRW, in its latest report stated the police extorted N20.35 billion between January 2009 and June this year at checkpoints.

Emeka Umeagbalasi, the chairman of the International Society for Civil Liberties and the Rule of Law who presented the report gave the breakdown as South East N9.35 billion, South-South N4 billion, South_West N4 billion, North Central and Abuja, N2 billion, North East and North, West N500 million each."

Umm these organizations don come again with their research and assumptions. How dem take know say na N20.35billion (to be precise).  Although i no dey too believe all these organizations their surveys and researches, i think i can def believe this one shaa. I wont even be surprised if the figure is actually more than that. If u wonna see for yourself, go take a road trip from PH to Lagos. Every 2 miles na police u go dey see. Yet the robbery and kidnappings are still taking place on a daily basis. Okay see this one for picture wey carry palm tree for hand, carry tomato basket cover road.... like for real WTF is he doing?
JEEZ ...MAD ILLITERATES YO :)


(vanguard.com)

WORLD LARGEST NATIONAL FLAG TO BE INSTALLED IN CALABAR!!

Okay the Cross River State Governent is set to re-install the nigerian flag which is located somewhere in Millennuim park in Calabar. This flag is regarded as the highest and largest national fag in Naija, and it is also the highest and largest flag in Africa. And its the second highest flag in the world.
According to Senator Liyel Imoke , the hoist machine (the thing wey dem dey operate to bring the flag up and down) will cost N4 million, while the flag itself is N100,000. .....BUT NAWA OHH... Just trying to figure out how many yards of material go cost N100,000 ke. (criminals as usual)
Anyways Umm Kudos to the Calabar Govt tho, cos the state is doing really good in terms of tourism n' stuff like that. So i'm guessing and hoping this is for some kind of tourist attraction.

But also I was just wondering......wouldnt it even be better if we were the best at providing smth very productive to the world? First, it was Independence National Cake....Now, nah Naional Flag.....Is there anything wrong with us having the world's largest food, clothing or textile production plant, instead of this BULLSH**  ?????
just wondering ohh

(leadership.com)

ANOTHER PIKIN COMMITS SUICIDE.....NAWA OHH

Nna Wetin come dey happen for Naija eh?.... Whats up with this whole suicide sh** going on these days. A 14 yr old JSS3 student just committed suicide by hanging himself at the back of his Grandma's house in Ibadan.


"Sources close to the family of the deceased told our man that he (Mutiu)] was seen with his senior sister in the morning of that fateful day and was said to have excused himself from the sister on the ground that he was going to answer the call of nature, when, in actual fact he was going to hang himself."

WHATTA HECK DOES A LIL KID KNOW ABOUT ANSWERING THE CALL OF NATURE? Do they learn these suicide stuff from western movies or what? How da heck were these kids able to tie a rope to the ceiling or wherever, and perfectly carry out the suicide procedure alone?....I'm beginning to feel there's a second party involved somehow ohh (either in the scenerio setting or brainwashing).

Abeg a thorough investigation needs to be carried out regarding these latest suicide trend among Naija children......Oh Agrrh damn, i 4got we have a decapitated police force that lack investigative abilities.....so i guess we would never be able to find out why :(

(sundayobserver)

WORLD'S BEST COUNTRIES.........WONNA SEE WHAT UR BELOVED COUNTRY RANKS?

So NewsWeek Magazine announced the World's best countries. And they were ranked on the basis of Education, Health, Quality of life, Economy and Politics. Below is just the ranks of 6 of the 100 countries 

Finland....1st
USA...........11th
UK........................14th
Ghana..................................86th Nigeria.........................................................................99th (AWESOME)
Burkina Faso........................100th


I guess this shouldn't be a surprise to we Naija peeps. I clearly saw this coming, but not this bad shaa....Like seriously, we fighting for last place with Burkina Faso? Burkina Faso wey bicycle still dey like mercedes for them? CHAI...but Nawa OHH.... see this people even rank Poor Romania (39th) before us too ohh. No be just last yr for Romanian football league wey one team been trade one of their football players for a chunk of meat? Dem even rank Oman (60th) before us...WTF!!!..i never even knew such country existed....See even Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Albania, Jamaica...Even Sri lanka KE
This just shows you how the world perceives us. A country blessed with so much oil & mineral resources, but yet most of its citizens cannot even afford three square meals a day. It is just pathetic, and it hurts so bad to know that this  has been going on for over two decades, and change doesnt seem to come anytime soon.
Anyways we fit complain from morning to night, and nothing go happen. So i guess the best thing is for us to laugh about it for now :)

You can check out the full rankings yourself.
http://www.newsweek.com/feature/2010/the-world-s-best-countries.html

WHO SAYS GOD DOESN'T ANSWER PRAYERS HUH????

You see after the miracle i witnessed during the weekend, there is no way u can tell me that Baba God no dey look out for im children. If you guys could remember sometime last week, i had a post about how bad i wanted to chop cabin biscuit.
Anyways the next day, i got a message from my  Navy secondary school daughter (shout out to Nneyen Umana) asking if i really wanted cabin biscuit. and I was like SHOOOOO. hell yeah ofcourse who no go wan chop cabin biscuit in the first place? And she was like okay, i should send her my address n stuff. And I sent it to her sharp sharp......so about 4 days later, i just came back home and guess wetin i see for front door? A well wrapped package, all the way from Canada....and as i open am ehhn, Chai...i come see my two favorite red couple for the front......Infact i was way too excited and felt like a big boy jare. Afterall to ship cabin biscuit from one country to another na beans?.....answer nah?
 Anyways I devoured it real good, and also wanted to soak it too (my boarding school peeps know what i'm talking about). But unfortunately there was no powdered milk. But somehow somehow, while thinking of how to get milk, my eyes somehow came across my son's baby milk (he still had new sealed ones jare) on the top shelf........well ummmm  ummmmm.....and the rest was history :)    

Anyways the essence of wetin i dey talk be say, sometimes when u need something so bad, all u need do is ask....and it MIGHT be given to you.
and also note that results might vary, depending on how u go about asking too :)

CAN U IMAGINE EHH........

Abeg i would really love to know what happened in this news. I dont have the full info...but with the little i got here, you can vivdly see that this is just one out of 100,000 naija pastors that was exposed. So can u just imagine how many girls out there that have been used by these various vagabonds called pastors..all in the name of "spiritual healing" "God's favor" "devine touch" "fruit of the womb" and all those themes they be using to attract their victims. And what actually pisses me off is that these stuff occur on a daily basis in most of these churches in Naija, and yet the victims barely come out to expose the pastor....Well i guess is either the women are scared to say smth, or dem follow dey enjoy am then :)
But on a serious note tho, i swear if i had the power, i will scrap out 95% of the churches in Naija, especially the individually owned ones.  Cos as far as I'm concerned, most of these so called pastors wey just dey open church anyhow are criminals, touts and illiterates. preach one thing, and do another...smchew

17YRS OLD CHICKAA GIVES BIRTH AT KIRI-KIRI HOSPITAL....OOPS I MEANT PRISON :)

Okay this smallie was sent to Kiri-kiri and awaiting trial cos she was accused of stealing N200,000 from her oga. Mind you her so called Oga was the one who brought her from the village to Lagos, now got her preggo, and when she told him about it, that was when he deined and tried to get rid of her.Why da heck would they put her in Kiri-Kiri of all prisons? This is just pathetic.  You get a minor preggo, begin to get mad when she started complaining about the continuous molestation, and you now accuse her of stealing your money. And ofcourse our decapitated police will believe what you saying cos you dey bribe them. Its so psinfull to know that there are so many innocent people wasting their lifes in various Prisons accross Naija.

Now this one don born pikin for the oga; oga don dey deny; so at the end of the day, the innocent pikin don turn to bastard.
And all this housegial/houseboy thingy need to stop too...cos majority of the molestation and marital problems has to do with them one way or the other. 
IF U MY FRIEND, AND U STILL GOT A HOUSEGIAL AT YOUR HOME (10-17yrs)  PLS DONT TALK TO ME, SON!!!!!


(punchng.com)

WE NEED BETTER CHARACTERS.....HA HA

Someone just sent me this byday picshure, and the first thing that caught my eyes were the characters (esp the most conspicuous one) ...and i was like "why the heck dont they make these characters look somewhat real?" Like seriously why da heck is that Barney custome head color look washed/faded?
 This made me immediately remember my childhood days. But at the same time shaa, I was just wondering if a lot of kids still fall for this crap. I dont know bout u guys, but when i was a pikin, i remember my mumsi taking me to their NNPC end of year party, or the NTA christmas party which they used to broadcast on TV. To be honest tho, none of the characters ever excited me at least for 1 minute, cos i just used to have this thing back in my mind that they were not the real characters that i watched on TV :)  dem go bring out micky mouse custume wey one of the ears dey fall. And their clowns no dey try at all.....dem no dey even put those red balls for their nose, or even wear white gloves, at least to make them look like the real clowns that I saw on tv. And as for their father christmas......in fact na that one dey fall my hand scatter. 
Anyways i dont know if it was just me that felt like this...or maybe i just had my own issues when I was a kid :(
But abeg if u also felt the same way, pls let me know. this way I wouldnt feel bad bout myself :)  This way me and you can team up and save our present` and future Naija kids from this obnoxious bootleg character exploitation by our parents :)