NAWA OHH!!!

Okay so last week i been dey talk about how being bald na really big f**k up for men, and it can make u have some sort of low self esteem.
Well, never mind what i said, cos i think i found the most major thing wey fit insult man....."HEIGHT" :(

I do have this friend....handsome guy and all that...but the only problem be say my guy dey very very brief. And that sh** be disturbing him all the damn time. Sometimes he be telling us that if there was anything he could ever wish for in life, that would be to add more height. And i do feel so so bad for him tho. And im get one thing wey i don really notice... "if you a very short/brief individual, people tend not to take you serious. As in, they see you as a joke....which i think isn't nice at all :(

M.I we just thankGod for your life say you get very special talent. To my own perspective, this guy is one of the best rappers not only in Africa alone, but on this earth ehh. He's mad talented for real. But you see say money, talent and fame could actually cover up some things tho. Because of how talented M.I is, nobody dey even pay attention to im briefness anymore....ha ha

But dayum!!!...if short guys tell you how many chicks wey don reject dem just cos their height issues ehhn, u gonna feel for them :(

I STILL DEY KAMPE........SAYS OUR UNCLE KANU :)

So I'm sure most of you have heard that Kanu Nwankwo recently retired from football last week or so. To be honest i was very happy in the sense that he retired in a very nice way. Like come on, he has won every championship you can think about (except wold cup tho).  So i was reading one of the papers online, and i just came across a statement which he just made during his retirement.


The Portsmouth forward had an elaborate pull-out from the Eagles with his testimonial at the Teslim Balogun Stadium, Lagos. He said his departure from the team did not mean he had quit football.
"I'm still in football; I'm still playing for my club Portsmouth. I've only decided to leave the national team," Kanu said.

But wait ohh...i thought this dude actually retired from both national and club level...as in i thought he closed the chapter of football in his life. Come on, this nukka is like 62yrs old, and he's still wants to play ball during this generation of Messi and Ronaldo.....u've made all the fame and money you need in life, so why you no wan quit kpata kpata huh? My guy no fit even run again sef......ha ha. It even hurts me more when i see him trying to run so fast for the ball.....I no just know why we no dey respect ourselves sometimes :(
I remember when i went to play pro football last yr in Asia, i swear i saw some Naija peeps there that were telling me how the played for all dem Naija clubs during the 80's and early 90's.......and they still here trying to get a football team....and i'm like WTF????  But on paper, their ages ranged from 28-32.

Therefore Uncle Kanu it would be great of you could retire entirely from anything that has to do with ball....this way you can have enough time to stat enjoying your money. Most of us do really care for you and thats why we dey beg you to STOP for goodness sake :(

And speaking of retirement.....that Camerounian dude on the right def need to be way retired even before kanu....their ages combined should be over 100 and smth.....we need to see newer talents from Africa......JEEZ...whats wrong with these people yo???

BOMB BLAST AT POLICE HEADQUARTERS!!!......NAWA OHH

So the Naija Police Headquarters in Abuja has just been bombed. The parking lot was targeted. And this just happened like a few hrs ago. I guess this incident has also proven the incapability and non-pro-activeness of our dear lazy police force when it comes to security issues :(

Like this whole bombing stuff is getting to another level for real. I'm just wondering who are behind all this, and what are their motives? Like come on, ABJ is suppose to be like a safe haven in Naija, but we just keep on hearing all these crazy bomb blast stories here and there. Anyways hopefully this will make our police more security conscious. To my own perspective, this is definitely straight up terrorism...cos i dont think we can call this a communal clash or whatever we try to call it. Things like this go soon make people dey call us a terrorist nation soon. Infact ehhn, me self no just understand this our country ohh....Nowhere is freaking safe :(

NAWA TO THIS GUY JARE!!!

(Ochai you a fool for this one...whatta!!!..ha ha) 

Okay, so I sat on my chair, uploaded this picture, posted it for you guys to see......and I'm still here on this same chair just trying to figure out what type of gesture this guy was trying to pull off? What were his motives before and after he took this picture? who was actually behind the camera that took this picture? why all the ashiness? There's a lot going on here.

INFACT WHY WAS THIS PICTURE TAKEN IN THE FIRST PLACE?????   

pls anyone with a serious explanation should let me know abeg :(

MY CRAZY PICS POSTS WITHIN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS!!!....HA HA

Okay so from now till next weekend, I will be putting up pictures of different women with the most ridiculous faces, outfits and make-ups (pictures will be on the right side of the blog). Well well well, the good news is that these are not Naija chicks shaa. (they are chicks from the Caribbean, esp Jamaica) And the bad news is that unfortunately, they are still black women, regardless.

But trust me, Some of our Naija girls are not too far from this pics i'll be putting up tho...esp the ones back home. Like seriously, when i went to clubs in Naija (esp Abuja) I was totally shocked by the way the girls dressed. As in ehn, at a point i even asked my self "Am I really in Naija, or i'm actually in one of dem clubs in the hoods of Brooklyn?"

Anyways whatever the case may be, I just want to say that i'm so sick and tired of seeing girls looking like lunatics in the club...all in the name of "I'm trying to look sexy". Dont get me wrong ohh, there's nothing wrong in showing of some goodies ohh...cos I know some fellas be getting excited about stuff like that. But at least u gotta show it off in a way that wont make u look like u just came out of a Psykia home or smth. If any of una think say i dey lie, then go to ABJ and take a quick stop at Krystal Lounge between the hrs of 1am and 4am.....as in ehhn, You wont even know when u go start to dey shout, dey ask yourself questions like "where am I?" "what is happening here?" "what am I doing here?" "how did I get here?"
Anyways thats that.......enjoy the pics....ha ha

WTF IS WRONG WITH NOLLYWOOD FOR REAL???????

IN FACT U KNOW WHAT?.........I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH NAIJA MOVIES!!!!.......COS 95% OF THEM ARE PURE GARBAGE!!!!.

And I can guarantee you that very soon they will bring out another movie which will be called "Seeker of the Legend" since Nollywood have clearly ran out of names, creativity and concept!!!!.....I guess thats what happens when an industry is being run by illiterates, touts and vagabonds.

NOLLYWOOD = TOTAL RUBBISH......TOTAL BULLSH**

THIS SHOULD BE UNACCEPTABLE !!!!!!

You see one thing wey i don notice well well be say some people no just like to dey respect themselves. Like seriously WTF is this? Why would a grown ass man walk around with this kind of thing, going about performing his daily activities.....and yet trying to act like he's oblivious about the situation untop of his head.....huh?...huh?

You see in this life its good to be real...and it starts from you being real with yourself first. I bet you say na this kind guy go dey tell people say im dey real...no way ni**a... u cannot be real with someone else when u got a lot of stuff happening untop of your skull. Like come on nah.....why why why? Na by force to grow dada again? Okay its one thing going bald...but dreads + baldness = taboo!! very very unacceptable and should be a crime for real .

If you ever have any doubt in your mind that smth doesnt look good on you, then take it off asap (and i mean material stuff oh. cos if na smth wey come with you naturally, example your face... then i'm sorry i dont know what to say...u just gotta live with it for the rest of your life...ha ha ha)...cos you dont need your friend to come dey tell you how bad it looks, before you become convinced to take it off.

But to be honest tho, among all the natural f**k ups that can happen to man, i believe say nah baldness worst pass....real talk tho....cos that sh** hardly looks good on any man....all it does is just giving peeps real low self esteem :(

WHATTA!!!.......HA HA HA

(shout out to Ochai for sending this absurd pic...ha ha )



This is straight up Gangsta ehh. I no been know say Toyota don dey make jeans ohh. Things like this just make me crack the hell up!!
But what i still dont understand is this tho....yes i'm happy we starting to produce our own stuff.....Cos i know that furniture, clothes, most food stuff have been banned from being imported into Naija. Hence this is a way to encourage our local manufacturers of these various stuff. But I guess with a product like this jeans, our manufacturers are not encouraging us in any way to buy our home made products.....Like seriously i would really love somebody to tell me why i should choose this bullsh** over a Gap, Express or True religion jeans. Why cant our people be creative with the names they give their products huh?  This na the same problem wey i get with our Movie industry....always giving absurd names to all these movies n sh**.

I dont think any type of convincing will make me even set my eyes on these jeans, talkless of bringing out my hard earned cash to buy this crap. Like seriously....LOOK AT IT!!!!...with all the ropes coming out .......To be honest, i no go even gree my own enemy to wear this kind thing.

Although this sh*** is mad funny though, but at the same time, things like this be pissing me off for real...whatta!!!!

YO YO YO .....WHERE MY LOVE LETTER PEOPLE AT?????

(Another shout out to Betty Braimah for this useless piece of crap)


You see at first when i took a glance at this letter, i was like WTF??????
But then i later looked at the date and then i didnt feel so bad anymore...like come on, this was in 1993.....back in the days when peeps in Naija had no swag whatsoever..ha ha
All dem days when people go dey write ditto everywhere for letter...brings back memories ehh..dem love letter days. Infact a big shout out to all my people that were involved in love letter back in da days (the writers, receivers, and even the senders of the letter....ha ha)...Mehn this life is just too funny ehh....things come and go.

And this fool actually finished his letter by saying "your boyfriend in future"...and freaking signed it too .   WHAT AN A**...this letter better be written back in his primary school days...cos anything more than that is totally unacceptable.

"If so, doxology"...WTF???  I just dont understand why some Naija guys be trying so damn hard to use big words they just learnt, or overheard from someone else, in order to impress the ladies....anyways whatever.

HA HA HA .....WHERE DID THEY FIND THIS DUDE FOR REAL?????????

Mehn i think this is some real funny sh** ehh. My guy no just get time for person ehh. Although this sh** is mad funny, but at the same time i dey gbadun the guy shaa. Its not easy to go to church, and all u pray is for God to help u to beat the living daylight out of your fellow man.

You can tell that this dude is no joke and he takes his work serious. He's just a real person shaa. But all that aggressive facial expressions and dem shaking of breast n sh**..........nah nah nah n*gga... there's no need for all that !!....go do all that gra-gra when u dey inside ring, okay.

But damn the way these peeps be pronouncing some words ehhn.....charch, maney, pastars, sapporting, hasband.......mehn i'm just still trying to figure out why my Ghanian peeps be pronouncing vowels "O" and "U" in a wired manner when used in a word.....naw i feel bed far them...ha ha (Shout out to all my Ghanian peeps out there...i love you guys for real)

Quote of the day: "if you want to long live when you still strong, forget about all these busepikis".......???WTF is this dude saying???

Anyways whatever the hell you talking about, i guess we shall all nod our head and agree with you, Mr. local champ...before you beat person die :)

KANYE WEST SIGNS DON JAZZY AND D'BANJ.........NICEEEEEE!!!

WOW...Okay this is a great news for Naija entertainment industry. Now i can finally say that Naija music has gone global. So I just dey hear say our uncle Kanye West and his crazy a** self has added Don Jazzy & D'Banj to his GOOD MUSIC label. We all gotta admit that this is a really big big accomplishment for Naija music. I knew it was just a matter of time, and our music will blow. I no go even dey surprised if dem go soon dey play Naija jams for Yankee night clubs (sike)

In D'Banj's twitter account, he tweeted “Just like yesterday myself and my brother did Tongolo. 7yrs later Mo’ Hits signs with Good Music. Best birthday gift ever. God thank u.” 


Yes ohh I dey follow ThankGod for una jare. Im no easy my brother.  I actually remember when that "tongolo" song came out, and he was talking about koko, dikoko and all that bullcrap....and i was like "yo this guy got some swag and a real catchy song tho. Now all that hard work don pay off. Mo Hits una too much, and i really gotta thank Don Jazzy (aka Naija Dr. Dre) for giving us the best music/beats in Naija over the years.


And a big shout out to all other talented Naija artists for real. I could remember 10 yrs ago, every Naija artist wanted to copy Yankee style. You couldnt eve hear any Naija song on the radio at then. But now things have totally reversed. Things like this makes me love my country jare. Now people all over the world are loving our food, our movies, our music, our swag..lol....in fact we too much eh. I just pray we keep on using our talents for good tho...shikenah


and shout out to Vick.O too..i promise you will be next :)

SUICIDE KE?...NAWA OHH

(Shout out to Jay's baby for providing me the link to this news)

"A middle-aged man, Mr Jamiu Sikiru, who attempted to commit suicide by cutting off his penis with a razor blade at Ijebu-Ode in Ogun, has regained consciousness.

Sikiru, who spoke with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on his sick bed at the Ogun State Hospital, Ijebu-Ode yesterday, said frustration made him to carry out the act, explaining that he made several attempts to kill himself, "due to frustration and depression’’.

Okay i know a lot of we Naija peeps are currently going through stress, frustration and depression as a result of our govt's failure to take care of us....and I also know that such situation begin to make people start looking for other alternative measures for them to put food inside their belle. Na wetin make u go just see one correct man wey get im bachelors degree, but yet im be confirmed armed robber overnight, or u go see some peeps turn to beggers, or even peeps using their brain to think of ways to dupe their fellow man....ha ha (shout out to all my yahoo yahoo peeps....one day, the hunter shall be the hunted shaa....shikenah)

But trying to commit suicide as a result of frustration? i never hear am before ohh...and chopping of your dick as a means of committing suicide?...infact this guy is a big a** JOKE!!!...cos the last time i cheked, people commit suicide through different ways that will make them die real quick without feeling much pain....so wetin make this my guy no try shoot or hang himself huh?.....U see this na why God no dey too answer some of us our prayers. You dey cry of frustration and hardship, but yet u go cut off the most valuable gift you ever had. This life dey funny shaa.....while others dey find prick, some others just dey waste their own unnecessarily.
 U see we Nigerians have gone through a whole lot."Hardship" "Suffer" "Poverty".....it has even reached a level where we now see these words face-2-face on a daily basis ehh....come on nah. But one thing I know for sure is that we Nigerians are good people (umm...well i take that one back cos majority of us are not..ha ha ) Okay lemme say are happy people and ever resilient, no matter the situation we find ourselves.

So in a nutshell, I would really really luv not to hear this whole "chopping of prick with razor blade" bullsh** anymore. thanks

(nationonlineng.com)

WTF?????

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in my life I can officially say i've seen what is called "Beating someone beyond recognition" :(

Now i know say that statement no be parables at all ohh.....so my guyzes, abeg dont do anything that will result to you looking like this...cos this doesnt look kool at all...and is very very unsexy.

I'm guessing that the only group of people that can make someones face look like this is the Naija army.....cos dem dudes no dey play at all, and dem sabi f**k person up very very badly :(

but...but....ummm...WOWZERS!!......DAYUM!!!

KIDNAPPING GONE WRONG??????

So two kidnappers were caught while in the process of collecting a ransom for a 4 yr old girl which they kidnapped from a hotel in Ughelli, Delta State.

The parents of the girl were contacted by the kidnappers, and they told them to bring N4milla for her release. So the parents informed the police bout the situation...and our useless police told her parents to play along with the kidnappers. The payment arrangements were made, so in the process of going to collect the ransom at the drop off location, that was when our police now surrounded and apprehended the kidnappers (good job guys...ha ha )

Anyways we know this whole kidnapping thing has reduced drastically, compared to like 2009 &10'. There are still some incidents of kidnapping here and there, but what really caught my eyes about this one was that when Policemen apprehended them at their hideout while trying to pick up the ransom, one of them, said to be mastermind of the abduction, was surprisingly a pastor...as in a FREAKING MAN OF GOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!


The hotel worker who kidnapped the girl disclosed that he was told by his pastor to abduct her, and he would be given N1 milla.
And on his part, the pastor who is in his 40's, said it was the handwork of the devil.
as in WTF YO!!!.....U see this poor devil guy don suffer for real...we go always blame am for both the ones im do, and the ones wey im no even do....i guess it sucks to be him tho...ha ha 


But hearing that a pastor was involved in this whole kidnapping thing is just disgusting & pathetic for real.....and later u guys want me to wake up on sunday morning, and go worship at the churches of these idiots/criminals  disguising themselves as men of God???...i'm sorry thats not f**king happening!!!    Almost all of them in Naija are all the same......believe it or not. Period!!!

I THINK I LUV THIS ROCHAS DUDE!!!!!!!

So my Governor Rochas Okorocha of Imo State has ordered immediate payment of arrears of salaries currently owed civil servants in the state.



Chief Okorocha, who gave the order yesterday when he paid an unscheduled visit to the State Secretariat Complex, Port Harcourt Road, Owerri, also condemned lateness to work by some staff at the secretariat.
"My administration will not condone lateness to work and laziness. Flimsy excuses like traffic congestion would no longer be tolerated," Okorocha said.


Also, as his personal token towards the implementation of the free education and enhanced healthcare system in Imo State, Governor Rochas Okorocha has announced the forfeiture of his monthly salary.

Yo this dude aint playing tho. U see lil actions like this can vividly tell you that this Okorocha dude is here to work, and not steal, kill and destroy (lol had to put that one in). For some reason I've always liked this man ever since I saw him come out for the presidential race a few yrs ago. Although he lost then, but smth kept on telling me that this guys will come out again sometime...and here he is....the  governor of Imo State. I just pray this guys brings the change we need in Imo state, cos all dem other governors have raped that land sotey milk no fit come out of the poor state's breast again :(

Although i dont wonna start blowing his trumpet already. But at the same time i do commend him for his actions, which certainly speaks louder than words. Incase u guys dont know, i'm originally from Imo state, and its just so good to know that a positive change is coming to that land, after all these yrs.  Cos I'm just sick and tired of people  knowing Imo (esp Owerri) only for its the party grooving, and all the hundreds of thousands of females in the various universities around town.

So in a nutshell, i'm in the Rochas bandwagon now..........till further notice :)




guardianng.com

SEE TOTAL LOCK-UP EHH.....HA HA HA

This is probably one of the funniest thing i've seen in a while ehh (after Vick.O's music video..ha ha )
Looking at this pic just takes me way back to my secondary school days....during exam period, boys go just dey copy scatter. Well, as a honest guy, which i am :) i no go just come here dey lie say i no been copy. Well i actually did, and matter of fact i think i even invented one dubbing technique...and it actually worked for me shaa....but make una no start to dey think say i be dummy ohh...cos i was actually a smart guy, but for some reason, dubbing was just one of those things that u have to do during desperate times...and i mean during really really desperate times.....i'm sure most of us have been in that such situation ;)

So some months ago, i got into this random conversation with some friends and i was telling them that if i was given the opportunity to become an invigilator in a secondary school exam hall, i swear none of the students go copy at all...cos i've been there, done that, and i'm very much aware with all the various copying/dubbing techniques. But my friends dey tell me say "na lie" cos they feel every generation brings their own different dubbing techniques in order  to beat the system. But i no gree ehh..as a bad guy ehhn, nothing wey dem go do wey i no go detect am sharp sharp.....As in come on nah...una think say i just been go 3 different military schools for for going sake? nawa ohh

I'm sure this has happened to some of u guys before....okay its like this.....So a very important exam is coming up, and u have already picked who you going to sit with during the exam....and only for u to show up in the exam hall, and the invigilator does some random seating changes, and u now end up sitting with someone else...who's probably a dummy :(   ha ha oh boy ehh that na when questions like "wetin make me no study for this exam?" go just dey run through your empty brain throughout the whole time for the exam hall...ha ha

But DAYUM!!.. this is a perfect example of a situation where "u are being held by your balls."....ha ha....i really gbadun this system scatter...i never thought about smth like this, and i dey bet u say this system go somehow reduce dubbing....to a certain extent shaa :)

BACK IN DA DAYS!!!..........HA HA HA

HA HA HA HA HA .......Shout out to all my military school alumni out there. Mehn only if people knew how fun military schools were in Naija. Well i guess i'll be the best person to explain that, since i found my self in the three major military schools: Military school Zaria, Airforce Sec. school, PH, and Navy Sec school, PH.
and yeah i know what you guys are thinking.....and yes i was stubborn like that.....so what??  ehhhn? so what ehh?.....HA HA
Anyways shout out to all the people that have experienced this type of punishment ehh....when u do this crap for even 1min, then u go know say you don enter a whole different realm.  NOT KOOL AT ALL.

but to be honest, this is some serious child abuse sh** tho!!...ha ha 

ATTENTION TO ALL MY BAD GUYZ OUT THERE!!!!....

(NB: this experiment only applies to most babes currently living in Naija)

Have you ever been beaten up by your wife/fiancee/girlfriend/jump off/?

Have you ever been stabbed by your wife/fiancee/girlfriend/jump off other?

Have your wife/fiancee/girlfriend/jump off, done any type of juju to you before?

Have you ever seen your wife/fiancee/girlfriend/jump off, turn into a wild animal right in front of you?  

Ever thought your girl can never cheat on you?

Ever imagined being killed by your wife/fiancee/girlfriend/jump off

OFCOURSE NOT!!! ...that na wetin we Naija men go talk, cos we just feel these things are impossible. You know why? Cos we are the dominant gender, we run things, and are much more stronger than the females. I dont think any man would actually come out and agree to any of those options above (maybe except the juju one somehow)

Well make i put am this way....If you be man, and you feel it is impossicant for you to ever experience any of those stuff i stated above, then all i need from you na to try this one quick experiment with her property, then send me an email 24hrs later to tell me how it went  (hopefully you will be alive to tell the story...ha ha) 

CLICK ON THE "read more" LINK BELOW TO SEE WHAT YOU SHOULD DO......just one very easy step, and goodluck ;)

WETIN BE THIS SEF?????

Okay just incase shaa, make i use this opportunity to let you guys know that my favorite soup is Egusi....as in correct one with, lots of orishirishi (as in goat meat, chicken, isam, okporoko and all other good suckulent stuff)

And for some reason, i think i am the only one who puts okra in their egusi soup. I know it sounds weird, but trust me, if u chop am ehhn, u no go even know when u bite ur own finger commot sef :)

Anyways what i just wanted to say na about this egusi pic.......Well, i can say for the 20 smth years wey i don live for this earth, i'v seen a lot of egusi soup, both sweet ones ohh, and sour ones, or the ones wey yellow well well, or the ones wey their color dey like diarrhea.  But for some reason, I no dey feel this particular egusi soup picture at all.

Dont get me wrong, it might be really tasty tho...but first impression/looks matter for me...so i'm sorry...the soup no just sexy at alllllll :(
This looks more like a swimming pool to me, than a soup :(

ONLY IN NAIJA.....

(shout out to Betty for all these ridiculous pics...ha ha )
















LIKE SERIOUSLY?


AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY GONNA FALL FOR THIS BULL CRAP???????

I'm sure we all know that these various newspapers do make their money from ad spaces that they sell to either companies or individuals. But i think its about time they stop letting foolish people advertise all these stupid a** ads like this.
Probably one of the most ridiculous things i've seen since this yr.

And ofcourse its gotta be an igbo man that will do smth like this....smchew

"protect your husband from strange women"....WHATTA????
How about "protect your money from fraudsters"  like you, Mr. so called Anosike.

this kind of crap be pissing me off so bad...real talk tho :)

THE HEIGHT OF IRRESPONSIBILITY.......................!!!!!!!

YOU GOTTA BE F**KING KIDDING ME RIGHT???????

One a very serious note tho, why dont we Nigerians ever respect our damn selves, or even our profession, or even our country at least huh? This is what happens when touts turn into lawyers as a result of bribery and corruption...if not, which normal human being wey go a law school, go actually wear this kind thing dey go court sef? even if u be Clifford Orji sef....

And this na the kind person wey go wan represent person for court?
Yes i know its very tough being a lawyer in Naija. Majority of them are kinda hungry tho, especially those one wey like to dey do "cut n' bail"......But Come on nahhhh.....this one don really pass hunger levels juo :(

Cant stop looking at this picture and wondering who would actually take this buffoon serious tho.......HA HA HA HA HA
I swear if I saw this guy in person, ama just walk up to him, slap that sh** off his head, and walk away.....and i'm not kidding about it.....but seriously tho, WTF was this dude thinking????!!!!
And the clown got the nerves to raise his fingers up like he's trying to ask a very important question, or giving an important speech....ha ha...anuofia!!!

PH TRAFFIC...........THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING EVER!!

Before I start, lemme just put it this way..."I'm a typical Port Harcourt boy ehh." Born in PH, grew up in PH, did my primary and secondary school in PH. Infact ehn, shout out to all my PH peeps out there jare. You see PH was like the most happening place back in the days for real. After all, 10yrs ago, nobody even talked about abuja (I even remember those days when they transfer civil servants to Abuja, dem no go even wan go because the place wasnt developed then...but now, thats where everybody wonna be at...ha ha....life is just too funny ehh)
So it hurts so so so bad to see this once "garden city" turn into a war zone. One of the most bubbling places back then, is now a place where to even commot for night na WAEC. Mehn i swear it just hurts  to see that my own PH town has deteriorated over the past decade, and is now the center of all sorts of crimes n' stuff. Thanks to that criminal, Mr. Peter Odili

Well with Amaechi in power, believe me, things are just going great. I can vivdly say that there is hope once again. If you havent been to PH for the past 2yrs, then i dey use God name dey beg you to go there now. I swear your jaw is gonna to drop. Is it the new hospitals, courthouses, clean streets, or so many other good stuff that this Amaechi guy is doing? Then u also need to come see the state schools. Okay lemme put it like this. "You can easily compare the state primary schools in PH, to the ones here in Yankee....No kidding. Anyone that has been to PH recently can attest to what i'm saying. Every student get im own laptop, air condition in the classes...infact it's just a phenomenal job.

But as things are changing for better, there is one thing that is still a big problem in PH.......TRAFFIC aka "HOLD UP" aka "GO SLOW"
Mehn i swear PH traffic no be joke ohh. Back in the days, it took us about 25 mins to drive from our home to mumsi's workplace...but now?????.....I no go even lie, it takes us a good 1hr 30mins everyday to get to her workplace. The hold up is just too bad and so so damn frustrating. The worst be say u can stay in one place for over 15mins without moving. The town is wey too congested and there is only one major road, which is aba rd.    The worst is on wednesdays when they have this oil mill market....oh my God....i swear u fit sleep for traffic sef, and by the time u don reach house, morning don dey reach already for you to go back work.

I was so fustrated in PH with the traffic, and the wey people drove too over there ehn. Poeple no dey gree make u enter their line...dem go just dey drive bumper to bumper, dey bone face like say u dey fight them. To be honest tho, PH is not an easy place to live in right now, cos i swear every single person has turned into a lunatic in that town...and if u cant beat them, u gats join them nah :(
Thats why i had to run away from PH after like 2 weeks...cos i began to notice that i was becoming very violent anytime i hit the road, and didnt want a situation where correct man like me go dey fight person for road u know ;)...cos na big time f**k up nah ;)

So one day on my way back home, stuck in traffic as usual, and bored as hell, so decided to bring out my camera to do some capturing as usual :)...ha ha ...The traffic that day was so bad such that even peeps start to dey come out of the transport buses, dey waka dey go their house (I'll put up the video by monday, cos i dont have my computer with me and i'm out of town..ha ha )
But i guarantee you this is just temporary...cos i trust our governor Amaechi...and i'm very certain that this "go slow" thingy will be a thing of the past very soon. Lets bring our Garden city back to life jare :)

HAPPY FAMILY........HA HA HA HA HA......BUT WTF????

(Shout out to Betty Braimah for providing another crazy ass pic)




















You know I would have really loved to say smth, but i actually dont know what to say cos this sh** don paralyze my whole bodi finish ehh. For some reason, the pic just got me muted anytime i set my eyes on it :(
Maybe someone should help me say smth about this thing that i'm looking at...cos as i dey here so, the afraid wey just dey catch me no be small one ohh.

well i guess i'll just have to do what i do best.........HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

But can u imagine having kids with your partner (who happens not be the most attractive individual out there), and all of them come out looking just like him/her.....as in no damn difference ohh......That na big time falling of hand be that jare......HA HA...and that na the kind falling of hand wey u no go even fit get mind/liver to go confront your so called partner about the situation. Cos i cannot actually imaging someone telling his/her partner "honey, how you take born this kind children wey i no even know wetin dem resemble sef ehn?"   HA HA HA HA

Anyways whoever did this pic been really do am well shaa...HA HA ....but i still dont understand why the woman/mother  looks like someone who got d**k n' balls tho....just saying  :(

or does she really have dick n' balls for real?  who knows :(

BOZZA...BOZZA...BO BO BO.....BOZZAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

(shout out to Betty Braimah for providing this hot mess)





















This is a typical example where an illiterate comes in contact with technology. You see its one thing when you're an illiterate and you talking face to face with a learned person. Your illiteracy level no go too show like that because you are just talking and not writing anything on paper.
I think the painful thing about this whole situation be say there are a whole lot of graduates in Naija that are like this. Mehn, i could remember during my NYSC camp in 09'....we were like 40 guys in a room, and mehn, there were some guys in that room that i dont even know how they ended up in that camp, talkless of how they even graduated from secondary school ohh....not even talking about university sef :(
Anyways i guess since corruption na our daily bread, then we will continue to see this kind of spelling madness on the internet chat rooms, as well as hear such pronunciation madness amongst some of our so called peers ;(

And speaking of spelling sef, i noticed that some of my postings dey get some lil grammatical errors. Well, at least my own dey different shaa cos i dey hurry when i dey post these things, and I never have time to go through what i do post. So as i said right from the first time i started this blog "pls if u see any grammatical bozza for this blog, just continue reading juo, and act like say u no know wetin dey happen ;)

To be onest, I tink whoever was behaind that keyboad must be extrimly brainless. Like seriyoursly how da heck will you make sush speling erro...then ur chat buddy notifys you abaut yor erro...and then u realized what you just did.....u kinda brushed it off, and akted like it was just one of thoze sily mistakes....and then you try to fix it up the second time....and it even gets more worserer...... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

NAWA TO THIS MAN OHH......

"The Abia State Chairman of Labour Party (LP), Chief Obi Aguocha, said yesterday that he has prepared his own burial programme, as he awaits death in the hands of those who might think that he is talking too much. He said that he did that to make things easy for those he alleged have been threatening him with death through phone calls and text messages.


Aguocha said that he has discovered that no matter how long one stays in life , whether he says the truth or not, he would one day die and for this reason, he has bought his own casket , made a choice of suit for his burial.
He stated that one thing he would not fail to do is to tell the truth, adding that his supposed killers can come now if they so wish. Aguocha, who spoke to Daily Sun in his home, Ohuhu, joined numerous Abians to call for the cancellation of the guber poll, alleging that there was no election. He also believed that, the sitting government has not done well at all."

Okay so i know there have been some peeps that could actually sense when their death don dey reach....and i feel most of them are usually peeps that have gotten involved in some sort of crazy stuff like blood money rituals, ogboni and all other bull-craps)
You see this news is actually the first of its kind, such that the guy not only knows that he will be killed soon, but he also went and bought himself a freaking coffin and prepared his own burial program.....this guy no dey play ohh.....i really want to laugh so so so so hard, but i dont know if this kind of news is worth laughing at, or i should just keep my mouth shut and feel pity for the poor dude :(
anyways i guess a lil laugh wouldn't hurt tho, cos this is really some real disturbing, but funny sh** too...ha ha ha

Well, i guess this is what happens when you want to be "Mr. Honest" in the midst of criminals, animals and vagabonds who only think about themselves and how to suck all milk from our govt's vast boobs..Anyways Chief I wish u well and God dey ur side jare, and he will continue to protect anyone trying to change Naija for good :)


But damn, is it just me, or na burial rice dey sweet pass :(


(daily sun)

NAWA 4 OUR GOV'T OHH...

So i just heard that our president's inauguration will last for one week at a budget of N5 billion (which is like $32 million). The church service alone is suppose to cost N62 million.

Anyways shaa, i dont know how true this is...but if its actually true, then i think we would really and quickly begin to pray for this our country called Nigeria. Cos i just cant see how the masses are suffering like crazy, trying to make ends meet...while our government is looking to spend such ridiculous amount of money just for inauguration ceremony. Come on nah!!
This national cake gats reach everybody hand ohh...cos me i no just understand wetin dey happen for this land sef :(
But u see the craziest thing is that this N5 billion we talking about is like nothing to some people in Naija (esp those our political assholes wey don loot all the lootables)

(sahara reporters)

IN NAIJA, ITS ALL ABOUT YOUR GINGER......HA HA

So just tell me why i was caught up in some crazy mess....Okay it was about 4am, and we decided to stop by the indomie joint (at Wuse 2) before we head home (to Gwarimpa)
We don order finish ohh, and na so one ashewo just came up to the indomie guy and started blabbing "i don dey here for over 30 mins, and yet you never make my indomie....but you don dey give people wey come after me their indomie. Which kind krase dey worry you?."
So another ashewo (wearing the black cap) who came with her friend, heard the conversation and was like "Na lie ohh..im no go happen for hia. I been come here before you, so that one no go happen for hia."
When i see as both of them start to dey ginger themselves, i immediately perceived trouble, and headed straight for my camera. The ashewo's friend (on the yellow native) started pushing her friend away not to fight the other ashewo....and in the video at some point, you will think the ashewo wanted to even fight her friend....At a point sef, the ashewo started to even push men wey been wan come separate the fight....no be small thing ohh :(

So they later left both of them to fight..but none of them even tried to give the first punch sef......smchew...silly ass ladies....Anyways while i was taping their fight, the ashewo's friend now saw me, and told her friend who was fighting that i was taping them. Before i know wetin dey happen, they started talking to each other in some language so, and both women later turned to me, and just rushed me to collect my camera. Na so i just turn off the thing, and told them that if they come near me, i go break their head....HA HA ...u just gotta love when people dey ginger for Naija ehh.

But the two chicks no gree ehh.....na so dem hold me for shirt ohh...i was like "SHOOOO"...which kind closeness be this one sef....So in order to avoid my own krase to come out of me, i just decided to take off my shirt for them, and went to my car to get another one (luckily i had it in one of my bags). So three mobile policemen that saw the incident from afar now came by and started asking what was going on...so the ladies told them. Can you believe the three idiots now asked me to bring the camera. I immediately laughed for like 5secs...literally like HA HA HA HA HA......then i now said to them "oga na lie ohh..thats not happening." Na so these olokpas start to dey ginger, dey talk say dem go arrest me for here....after that comment, that was when i even said HA HA HA HA HA the more. Then i now told them "im be like say krase don dey worry three of una shey? You know who i be?" Mehn these guys come get mind tell me say dem no care and dem go arrest me if i talk again. So i immediately respected myself and went straight to my car to go get my other phone and call one of my oga who is an AIG of police. So when these dudes now saw the type of car i was riding, they immediately came to where i was seating in the driver's seat, and started telling me "Our Chairman no be so nah..come let us resolve this issue like grown men."..i was like WTF????? i now told them "no ohh, i personally prefer to resolve it like a small pikin, cos i go make sure say you three policemen go sleep for cell, accompanied with those two women too. So after all the pleading n stuff, i decided not to call, and forgot about the whole thingy.

But can u believe that as i was about to drive off that area, these same policemen had the nerve to come up to me and was like "our Chairman do smth for your boys. We dey loyal."    ?????????????????????????? Mehn i wish i had all this aftermath on camera ehh...una for laugh die. Anyways In Naija ,its all about who ginger pass ehh" I guess my ginger been kill the policemen their ginger"...HA HA......WHAT A COUNTRY!!!!

MAY 21ST....MAY 21ST...MAY 21ST.....MAY 21ST

I'm sure say all of una don hear say the world will be coming to an end on the 21st of May, 2011.......umm shooooo.....thats actually 2 days from now oh :(
AGGRRHH......u see wetin dey pain me pass now be say i have a real correct party to attend that saturday night ehh...umm well i dont know bout u guys tho, but as for me, i must to attend that party. See me see trouble ohh. Why must it be the day that i plan to drink, blaze some joint, and have fun, that the world will now end huh?

Ohh na true ohh....in my previous post, i talked about a guy who came up in the indomie joint where we were eating in Abuja, and he started blabbing about how the world will end on May 21st, and we should repent.
Anyways what i dont just understand is why they keep on letting this Harold Camping guy (the founder of this familyradio.com thingy) spread rubbish news around. This is not the first or second time that he has done this bullcrap, and it turned out to be false predictions....and now he's back at it again...I'm just sick and tired of people trying to pull one stupid ass stunt or the other. This world has been around since Adam & Eve, and plenty people don come this world, did their time, and finally died.......So why must it be during my time that the world will end huh?...na lie ohh.....me i no gree. i must enjoy this earth, until Baba God tells me that my time is up....But until then, the world aint ending sh** jare.

But wait a min ohh....so what actually happened to Jesus coming as a thief in the night huh? Cos me i never see any thief wey dey first inform im victims say im dey come in like so so so time, so make dem make sure say all their valuable properties dey ready for collection.

Wonna know how I feel about this whole May 21st thingy?....... ABSOLUTELY NONSENSICAL :)


i know u like that terminator judgement day pic i put up there..ha ha ;)

WONNA HEAR SMTH REALLY CRAZY??????????

You sure you ready for this one? Okay hear it is


The results of a 2010 Nigeria Education Data Survey, released in Abuja, on Monday, revealed that 72 per cent of children aged between 6 and 16 years in Borno State have never been to school.
The document entitled Nigeria Education Data Survey 2010, painted a grim picture of basic education in northern Nigeria with the North-East and the North-West presenting the lowest national average of school attendance.


UNF**KING BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!


Mehn, This is just ridiculous....The FG needs to do smth asap in order to eliminate this crazy situation. Its freaking 2011 and you will expect that all kids in Naija should be in some form of school...whether na private or federal or state... This news is just disturbing and disgusting....My hausa bros them need help asap, cos the Naija govt shouldnt just sit there and watch these kids all go into cattle rearing, shining shoes, making indomie or tea, or doing meguard work. Education is the key to freaking success, so we need everyone, and i mean igbo, hausa, and yoruba to have at a least basic education (and stop fighting among our damn selves jare) so that we can all work together to make Naija a great nation :)     


but dayum that survey is disturbing shaa...chai  :(




(punchng.com)

EFCC RECOGNIZES SOME LUNATICS........THANKGOODNESS!!!

Okay so 9 outgoing governors/Lunatics accross the county who have enjoyed and abused their seat for the past four or eight years will soon be guests of the EFCC when their tenure expires on May 29.
So they have been kept under 24 hr surveillance so that they will not fly out of the country after they hand over to their successors.

Mehn this should be fun to see the outcome. If dem no really monitor these men, i swear dem go run commot for Naija as sharply as possible ehh. If to say i be the oga for EFCC, i for personally send my agents to their various hand over ceremonies.....this way, as soon as they have handed over to the succeding governor...and i mean right after them exchanging handshakes and waving to the people and all that bullcrap, they will be handcuffed right there and taken straight to ABJ for the main questioning.

The nine outgoing governors, whose names are being bandied, are Gbenga Daniel of Ogun State, Adebayo Alao-Akala of Oyo State; Bukola Saraki of Kwara State and Ikedi Ohakim of Imo State.
Others are Ibrahim Shekarau of Kano State; Ibrahim Shinkafi of Zamfara State; Muhammadu Goje of Gombe State; Modu Sheriff of Borno State and Akwe Doma of Nasarawa State.

You see these are all touts that we the Nigerian people put in power (although we all know our votes have been so irrelevant in the past) so they could provide us with at least the most basic amenities needed in order to facilitate our various community developments. But instead they've decided to loot all lootables!!!

If there's anyone that should be sentenced for life should be Ohakim...I SWEAR THAT FOOL DID NOT DO EVEN ONE DAMN THING IN IMO STATE!!.....like for real tho how can somebody spend 4 yrs as a governor, and u cannot account for anything..at least just smth that you will be remembered for huh?....is it that hard?...with all the billions of naira being pumped into these states? U see this is the problem about we Nigerians....we mad greedy, son!!...Okay how bout this to our leaders "I dont think there would be a real big problem if these guys are stealing the money, and yet doing a lot of work in their various states at the same time. This way people no go too vex cos they are seeing your performance...afterall where u dey work, na where u go dey chop too nah ;)     But these idiots dont just get it and i dont just understand for real!!


THESE IDIOTS GOTTA BE F**KING KIDDING ME!!!




(vanguard online edition)