NAIJA NEWS TITLES EHHN....NAWA OHH

So I was reading Naija news online, and came across a title which said "Former Miss World, Agbani Darego Confesses"
So that immediately caught my attention. Cos I was like shoooooo...wetin this innocent looking babe don do now ehh. As I kept on reading this long ass interview she had, i was still hoping to see wetin the babe been do. "At that point, I was telling my self "O boy kool down, you never read the thing finish...maybe her confession part go dey for the last paragraph of the post. At this point I don dey think of so many things... maybe she used to be anorexic or smth of that nature; or maybe the male judges ran a train on her, and that's how she won the miss world thingy; or maybe she like girls; or she has a d**k. Infact when u hear say person been confess about smth, most of the time, its usually smth very crazy that nobody would have imagined that person doing. Una suppose know wetin i dey talk about nah :)

Anyways back to what I was saying. So I then reached the last paragraph, and still there was no sign of her confessing anything. Nawa ohh...so the person wey post the thing just make me read the whole post for nothing?  Okay so this was the only confession she made i guess:


On marriage and heartbreak
No, I am not going to talk about whether I have been heartbroken or not. It is too private an issue. When would I get married? I guess I would find out whenever someone asks me to marry him then I would let you know. Am I dating anyone now? I think my private life should be my private life. Well, the ring that I am wearing is just a fashion jewellery that I like to wear. No, it’s not an engagement ring, it’s just a jewellery; there is nothing special about it.

AND HOW'S THAT SUPPOSED TO BE CALLED A CONFESSION????....WTF!!!...She was telling the interviewer about the ring just being a fashion jewelry (which i believe non of us really send for), but why did our publishers have the nerves to title this "Agbeni Darego Confesses" which kind yeye confession be this one ke? infact as from today, i no go put too much interest for all these fishy titles. Now I've spent almost 10 precious mins reading smth useless....Daily Sun make una take time ohh :)

(daily sun)

NA OVER-CORRECTNESS DEY WORRY THIS GUY EHH.

To complete ongoing projects, Imo State Governor, Rochas Okorocha has assured that all ongoing and abandoned projects in the state would be completed before new contracts are awarded.

The governor said this while addressing contractors handling several projects for the state government at the Multi Purpose Hall, Owerri.
He enjoined all contractors to go back to site and complete the projects, as the present administration would live up to agreement to pay for all completed projects.

Governor Okorocha, however, stated that government would not hesitate to revoke any non-performing contract and would bring those involved in shady deals to book.



Shey right from the beginning, I don dey tell una say this guy no just come Imo state to dey open teeth with everybody. He's been a self made millionaire long time ago, and govt money no go do any good for am. So he's just here to serve his people, and bring change to the state. He knows what he's doing, and by the time he's done, Imo state will be one of the best places to live in Naija :)

Shout out to all my Imo states peeps (Nkwerre all d way). Dont worry, soon our state go dey like Yankee.

Imagine a State in Naija that is well developed  + Having more than 4 universities filled with correct babes = Naija Las Vegas :)
The only thing wey just dey missing be say we no get beach...if not ehhn, Imo State for be Naija Miami ehh...ha ha. Oh i even forgot about Oguta lake....Hey, that works ;)

(daily sun)

THE LAND OF MILK & HONEY............REALLY?????

So once in a while i always post stuff to remind peeps say Yankee no be bed full of roses ohh. The only thing person dey enjoy for here na the good roads, food, uninterrupted electricity supply, medical system,  infrastructural facilities, traveling from NY to California without having fear say armed robbers go just come out from bush dey rob you...ha ha...., nonviolent environment, and all that good stuff...Other than that, life no just easy for here at all. But no matter what you tell peeps for Naija, dem no go believe ehh...cos dem wan come witness am for themselves....and i no blame them shaa. Afterall who no go wan come use their eye see Americoco (according to my mum) or Amerikiyaa (according to one of my friends, Anthony...ha ha )

Anyways so I saw this article named "Why Some Nigerians Are Trapped In America" and I found it very interesting. So I decided to share some parts of it with you guyzes..ha ha

Nigerian United States based environmental scientist, Dr. Asopuru Okemgbo, has said that life in United States of America is not bed of roses, as immigrants and foreigners have to prove themselves beyond their equals. Okemgbo, who has been in the US for over 20 years, said the basic needs – water, food, access roads, transportation and energy – are not issues in US, but noted that one has to sweat for every dollar he earns.  (shey i been talk am..lol)


The press later asked him this:
It is said that going to America is easier than returning. So, what is your experience?


and this na my guy answer:
That is always true, even long time ago when our people were going to Cameroon and they got there to make money and return, you have to really work hard to achieve that. If you go to America and you don’t have good job that will give you enough money to buy your plane ticket back or visit often, then you are trapped. Not only that; there are immigration issues. So some people may have been trapped by immigration problems because if they leave America, they may not return; so they stay put and there are many other things that keep them there; that is why going to America is easier than coming back. I quite agree with that statement.


all I can say is this............GBAM!!!!
All this guy said is more than true.....as for me, i no get any immigration quanta ohh......but that ticket money ehhn..I think thats the main thing that stops a  lot of Naija families from going back to Naija for vacation, or for good. Imagine a family of 5 planning to go to Naija for X-mas...we talking about almost $9000 to $10,000 for air ticket alone....then which money dem go come use for grooving nah :(


(daily sun)

WE DON COME AGAIN....

Okay so Saudi Arabia just recently beheaded 3 Naija guys accused for murdering a citizen


Mohammed Ismail, Abdulqudus Adam and Mohammed Kabir Ali broke into the house of Omar Mohammed Adam where “they beat him and his wife, tied them down and strangled Omar to death,” said the statement. Then they burgled their compatriot’s home, it added


Umm well let me start off by saying that i'm very surprised say no be igbo peeps been dey involved this time around.....very very surprised shaa....phewww...lol... Anyways You see this na the reason why all these developed countries no dey like give us visa....cos we always find ways to cause trouble one way or the other. I could remember last year when i went to play football in Vietnam, about 99% of the black people there were  Naija guys, and they all claim to be football players....but na drugs and runs wey most of them dey do for thia. The Vietnamese peeps over there were so racist sotey dem no dey even hide their own racism sef. So one day, I asked one Naija guy why these vietnamese peeps dey so racist like this? So he then explained to me that 5 yrs ago when Naija guys started to come into the country, the Vietnamese peeps saw us as small gods..they respected us so much, and always wanted to be around us. But as more and more Naija peeps started to enter into the country, na so bad bad things come start to dey happen...they began stealing, breaking into peoples homes, fighting and stabbing each other...and u know say Vietnam na communist country, so they never see this kind of crazy behavior before. Thats when they started deporting Naija peeps over there..and the hatred began.
I no just understand why anywhere wey we go, we must always create a big negative impact....


I no just understand some peeps sometimes for real.....U know say u dey for country wey if you steal, dem go kill you asap...but yet u still wanna be the rat for the experiment.......i guess since we are over 150 million peeps, then there's gotta be enough rats for experiments then :(


(vanguard online)

I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK.....HA HA

Shebi I been tell una say I been dey Canada last weekend. Well it was really fun shaa. It was exactly a 7 hrs drive from NY to Ottowa....and Yes I drove the whole journey while my wife just relaxed for front seat dey bark anyhow like say person dey laugh with her.
Anyways back to my story......So on Friday which was their Canadian independence, we went to their down town during the day to go see all the krase people wey full for street. And also Prince Harry and that im wife been dey town, so thousands and thousands of peeps came out to see them. I no follow shaa, cos i dont see why someone will spend time under the hot a** sun just to see Prince Harry's convoy pass...then the only thing u go do na to either clap or shout yay....then u go start ti dey go back house. Na son, I cant do that...esp when the person no even know say I dey exist sef. The most I can do na to watch am for TV....period!!!

Anyways back to my story this time..lol....Yeah so we went home to go drink...and later that night, we came out again to go witness their fireworks....It was like 9 of us, and at least 6 of the 9 were definitely twisted/feeling the alcoholic effect...including me ofcourse ;)

After we finished watching the whole fireworks thingy, I was in my crazy mood (as usual). So on our way back to the parking lot, I saw this "no parking" sign everywhere. So I thought it would be really hot to take a pic with it...ha ha. So I pulled the sign off from the ground, and gave the sexiest/striking pose I've ever done....along with my wife's handbag. Yeah I know u like that ehhn? ehhn? You know I look sexy in that pic, and none of y'all can tell me nothing :)

One thing I know for sure be say those girls on the side bar are no competition at all :)

DEY JOLLEY DEY GO!!!

(shout out to Chi-chi Oji for providing this crazy pic)



Okay, so imagine being at a party..as in a very normal party ohh....people are happy gisting, laughing, dancing..infact everything is just going smooth and great, just as planned. And in Naija, we all know say the main event in a house party na sharing of the rice and chicken....and the taste of the food could either make the party even very very sweeter, or it could also break the party too..ha ha.
Alright....so u still at this over-bubbling party, and the time to chop don ready, and dem start to dey share rice to the people. Then all of a sudden, as dem bring rice come for you, the first thing you gonna see is a gold freaking circle condom untop the take-away container.

Like come on.....who tha heck sat down and thought about this abnormal behavior?...I'm just trying to imagine what type of party this was shaa. Definitely not a kid or teenager's party for sure. Ummm I would have said a swingers party, but on the second thought, we Naija peeps no dey liberal to that extent u know :)
Okayyyy I think i got it....im be like say this na some type of ibotic ashewo peeps their local party. Anyways whatever the case may be, one thing i know for sure be say this party was the sh**  tho :)

EVEN FOR YANKEE KE............!!!

So on Saturday, I went out to go grab some Chinese food with my neighbor. And the neighborhood we went to get the food was kinda wierd (as most of you know, the best place to eat betta chinese food in NY is usually in the hood..ha ha) As in the people around there weren't the smartest of people (as u can see). It was mostly peeps from the ghetto, or lemme just say low income peeps. While walking back home, I saw a banner which said "Chinese restaurant coming soon".  But I come notice say the way dem take spell the "coming" ehhn...e just get as e be juo. So I quickly told ma friend to take a pic of it. After that, we laughed so hard....and we didnt even take up to 20 steps, until my friend spotted another banner which said "oficce is open from so so to so so so."  It was just so funny and I was so so perplexed about this whole incident, cos i never see such kind thing for Yankee before. 

Anyways this na to show say illiteracy dey everywhere jare. When we dey Naija, we go just dey feel say everybody for Yankee na Chike Obi for english language... ha ha 

Anyways one thing I certainly know for sure be say the people wey write this thing be immigrants for sure :)

HA HA HA...NAIJA PEEPS NO GO KILL ME EHH

Mehn u just gotta luv our country, and the people that live in it too....I no even know wetin to talk sef. This pic don weaken my whole body ehh.......DAMN!!
Who actually wakes up in the morning and decide say im go wear goat jessee??? and im come be Arsenal jessee for that matter...HA HA HA ....i no even know if dem dey try diss Arsenal, or dem dey try recruit more Arsenal fans by any means necessary.......ha ha
The thing wey dey even make me laugh pass for this picture na the wey dem take hold the goat hoof,  like say im dey celebrate with them......and u can notice the rope still dey im leg....so i guess after the celebration, the goat will be killed soon.

But Damn...animals dey suffer for real ehh....as a guy, can u imagine being an animal just like this goat right here... and u dey well respected in the animal kingdom...cos of your strength, dominance, and ur ability to have all the females :)    Then sometime in your life, human beings go just catch u, dey wear u dress, dey paint ur face, dey rub u lipstick....infact dem go just dey fall your hand anyhow right in front of your fellow animals and ur chicks...na big f**k up nah.   and at the end, u still gonna end up in someone's belle :(   ...see destiny ehh

I bet this goat play pass some Arsenal players. ha ha   :)

OMO SEE MY SWAGGA!!!!

Shout out to Betty jare 



I swear if I ever go back to Naija, and come across any guy wey dress up like this, dey waka comfortably for road, I bet you i go personally come out of my ride, walk up to the dude and try to not make any eye contact whatsoever.... then first of all drag that im bow tie commot from im neck...as well as that nonsense badge looking crap wey dey for im suit.

Left with me alone, I go carry scissors with me, wey I go use cut that nonsense leopard sh** commot from im body. But i dont think I will be doing that, since i no go want make people think say I dey try rape my guy for broad daylight u know :(
Even sef, if I manage find way to commot that thing wey im dey wear for leg, I go just throway each of them for different directions....as in ehhn, I go throw them so far away from each other with all my strength....ha ha .

Yeah thats it...and hopefully after all this (which shouldnt last up to 1 min) before my guy go even realize wetin just happen to am,  I go don run enter inside my car and drive away sharply (for saftey reasons shaa) cos people like this dey strong scatter...no let im soft-like appearance deceive you ohh...ha ha

REALLY???????????!!!!!

(Betty u don come again..ha ha)


HA HA ......The first time i saw smth like this was by a traffic light in Harlem. The guy just carry poster dey beg for money... so when he now came closer to my car, and I read what was on the poster.....o boy ehh laugh wan kill me die. I thought it was a funny wey to beg shaa...cos come on.....I dont think anyone is that stupid to believe say Ninjas been attack person family....as in not even armed robbers/criminals ohh...NINJAS ke...ha ha

Well, what was funny about the one I saw was that the guy had another writing on the other side of the cardboard which said "ha ha I'm just kidding, I just need some money to grab me a cold beer"...ha ha
Men the kind techniques wey people dey put into begging these days ehhn...no be small thing ohh.

umm but one a second thought, nawa for this guy ohh....he should have came up with smth else. Think about it, who will ever believe that this old dude will actually go to karate lessons....ha ha some things dont just work for everyone jare. :)

LOL......!!!!!

(shout out to chi-chi Dora for this pic)


LOL....Mehn no kind thing wey person no go see/hear/do for this our country Naija. As much as this stuff dey mad funny ..but at the same time, I also believe that this na one of the realest talks wey i don see.  Unfortunately only very few people dey believe this kind yarning, and they are the ones that usually work hard, and come out successful at the end.  Mehn f**k that jare. Its all God that rewards us when he wants to. Cos i just dey picture a lot of hard working peeps in Naija...but yet their hardwork has not yielded them anything fruitful at all at all.........Then later you go see one idiot go just come from nowhere and do the same thing, and come out successful.

A good example na our Music indutry. Remember all those people wey dey claim say their head dey hot pass when it comes to rapping (likes of Rugged man, mode 9 and others wey i no even sabi)....And from nowhere Mr Incredible came into the game and immediately stole the whole show. Na that kind oppression wey dey cause stroke nah.
In a nutshell, if ur time never reach, then that means "your time never reach." There's no need to do all the extra struggling n' stuff :)

NAWA TO THIS MAMA OHH

(shout out to Amira for providing this article)

Bimbo Ayelabola, 33, had been taking twice the prescribed dose of a potent fertility drug while at home in Lagos.

Within days of discovering she was expecting she obtained a visitor's visa for Britain.

And she ended up getting the best treatment possible on the NHS following an emergency Health Service scan which showed she was expecting four babies.

After months of taxpayer-funded care - costing an estimated £200,000 - Bimbo had a complex Caesarean op 32 weeks into her pregnancy on April 28.

Doctors at Homerton Hospital, in Hackney, East London, then discovered there was a fifth baby.

Now, two months later, Bimbo is applying to the Home Office to extend her stay in the UK because boys Tayseel and Samir and girls Aqeelah, Binish and Zara - although healthy - are too fragile to fly home.

Bimbo is also arguing that there is no "support network" of family and friends left in Nigeria to help her bring up her kids because they are all in the UK already.

Yeah Yeah Yeah whatever. You see I dont even know why this is news......maybe its cos in this situation, the lady has 5 kids. Other than that, this na very normal thing wey Families for Naija dey partake in........A woman finds out she's pregnant....so the next step now go be how she go try get visa to either Yankee or Jand, in order for her to go born the pikin for thia.....make im come be say their pikin na citizen ke. Its crazy to know how many women do this all the time. But whats even crazier is the extent which these women dey take...all just to go born their pikin outside Naija. As in ehhn, If you go Jand or Yankee embassy for Naija ehhn, you go see pregnant women wey dey use belt dey squeeze their belle, so that they wont look pregnant. As in ehhn, we sabi take things to another level.....and the kind lie wey these women dey lie to those embassy consulates ehhn....na die ehhh :)

Anyways shaa, as far as I'm concerned, make this woman go back Naija jare....You've gotten what you want (ur kids to be British citizens) so now, why u still dey cry like say u no get place wey u been come from? Who go pay ur bill of over 200,000 pounds for thia...and dem talk say it costs 70pounds a week to feed each baby....shoooooo!!!
Like really, is Naija that bad that peeps are ready to suffer outside Naija than inside?.....JEEZ,,,Peeps gotta stop thinking thru their butt for real. At the end of the day, There's no place like home jare.

(thesun.co.uk)

MARRIAGE GONE WRONG!!!

So I'm sure you guys must have heard that this dude right here stabbed his wife to death. They got married in November 2008, had a baby girl a while later....YAY..both family and friends where all happy for them (as usual) .. But last week, my guy been stabb the girl to death, and he further went on to mutilate her body.....And mind you this was on this moron's 30th birthday.....So this made everyone begin to dey wonder wetin come happen nah?
Then his long time classmate/close friend opened up on how things had been rough with the couple. First of all, my guy been loose im job like 2 yrs ago, and his wife was the bread winner all this while. So one day, she came back from work and found out that her husband had sold her car...buhahaha....so this come cause very very big kwanta, which later cost her her life ;(

The neighbours however saw her husband jump through the window with blood stains and drove off. But since there was no screaming from the apartment or any noise to suggest they were quarrelling, the neighbours thought all was well."..........but nawa ohh...how the hell will u think all is well when you just saw an  idiot jumping out of his window with blood all over his body...and you dont raise an alarm right away......nna nawa to some so called neighbors ohh

The woman's body was discovered later with a knife still in her neck...as in ehhn, she was stabbed severally in the face and neck.


Anyways, prior to her death, it was learnt that  the victim confided in one of her colleagues that her marriage was undergoing challenges but was reluctant to leave because she did not want her daughter to be raised in a broken home.


You see I think we in a generation where as a female, if you ever feel uncomfortable/afraid in your marriage, and you know its definitely not gonna work anymnore....Just get a divorce right away Dammmit!!!........now the woman don die...all because she didnt want her daughter to be raised up in a broken home :(       
This is 2011, and I expect peeps to be smarter these days for real .....and whats up with all these young Naija peeps marrying today and divorcing tomorrow....i weeda jare

HAPPY MOTHERING DAY?....WTF!!

(Shout out to Betty Braimah.... where in the world do you get these crazy pics.....ha ha)

At first when I took a quick glance at this picture, i immediately thought it was one of those Naija movies with their silly titles and crazy looking bootleg cd packs/covers.....Abeg make nobody blame me jare. Afterall if we can give our  movies all types of absurd names, then what stops our producers from naming a movie "Ezinne - Happy mothering Sunday" huh?

But I later saw the calender stuff on the side...that was when i then realized it was just one of dem calender crap.

But can someone pls tell me WTF is Beyonce's face doing on that calender? I just dont get it tho. So of every female celeb they could think of, na Beyonce wey dem decide to carry her head put ontop this femal body?......You see when I been dey Naija, I noticed that in a lot of places i went to, most of the posters usually had either Beyonce or Jay-Z. Like seriously nawa ohh...cos me i tire sef. Anyways whatever. Its just that I dont understand if na mandatory issue say Beyonce face go dey everything wey we wan do :(

WHy cant we be creative at anything for Christ sake huh?

ILLITERACY...MAN'S WORST ENEMY :(

(Betty u too much jare)

You see this is one of the reasons why Mark Zuckernberg shouldn't have made facebook go public. I could remember the time when facebook was only accessible to university/college students only....And when Mark decided to expand it to the public, a lot of people were against him and stuff like that. Well as for me, I no been send shaa, cos I know say at the end of the day, it will go public, which will in-turn increase his profit.

But Mehn, na by force to join social site again?? shoo.....like for real wharra hell is this????? Of-course not everyone out there has to be educated...but mehn illiteracy get levels jare...and this one dey very critical and disturbing. I think this is more like a disorder for real....thinking of smth in your head, but when you try say or write it out, it comes out differently :(

OH CANADA!!! :)

So my bff lives in Canada, and I'm so so excited cos i'll be going to visit him, his lovely gf and his family today. And yes i'm driving down there, since i no get money for plane...after all from NY to Canada (Ottawa to be precise) na just 7hrs :)
I've been there just once when i went to visit him in 09' during the fall period....ThankGod cold no been dey by then shaa :)

Ehennn...speaking of weather sef....I noticed that when most of we Nigerians hear the word "Canada," the first thing wey go come our mind na cold...as in correct oyi.....or I dey lie?....ha ha  :)  We just feel that Canada is always cold 24/7 365/yr .I think that so cos their winter period is very very brutal shaaand thats one thing people cannnot 4get....Its so bad that if you open mouth to throway spit, the thing go immediately turn to ice by the time im touch ground ;)
Anyways for those of you wey know, and those of you wey no know (def majority of us...ha ha) make i kukuma talk am now...."Canada get the same summer with Yankee"....sometimes sef, their summer dey even hot pass Yankee own. But during winter period, thier own cold no be your mate shaa.

Anyways I'll be there till sunday...and wetin dey even make me just dey happy anyhow about this trip be say enough activities go full ground scatter. Going to the water park on friday; a friends birthday party at the beach on saturday, playing beach beach ball..then partying it up again at night; then his dad's b-day party on sunday...then driving back home later that day...that na if i my eye never dirty from too much shayo by then...ha ha.
Infact ehn, enof merriments go full fround during this 4 days period. Anyways whateva. I've made my point clear..."Canada is not always cold for goodness sake" :)

ONLY GOD KNOWS WHY.....!!!

So it was a very nice sunny day in Ikwerre rd area, in th city of Port Harcourt....and this dude felt it would be the best time to go steal a car. Him and his crew trailed the car owner and watched him as he parked his car by the rd, close to a filling station.....and went into the market. They now communicated with this moron immediately to go carry out the operation, since Mr. owner no dey around im ride. Therefore my man went in for the kill.......ha ha.

With a master key, my guy start to dey push the thing up and down in order to open the door. Unfortunately, my guy no been know say some people wey dey reside for that area don dey look all im movement for that car. Na so dem catch my guy..then the lynching began, as usual. Later the owner of the car came out and saw what almost happened to his ride, and he thanked the mob for preventing it from being stolen.....and as a smart man wey no like trouble, the guy just enter im Toyota Camry jeje, come waka very very sharply out of the area. But this was just the beginning for the poor car thief shaa....As in dem disfigure my guy face ehh, and decided to give him the final move.....BURNING ALIVE!!!!...ha ha 

Dem don already put the tire (as seen in the picture) and went to the filling station to go collect fuel, to begin the cooking..but the fuel attendants already saw what happened, and decided not to sell fuel to the mob... Since one the vital ingridents in starting the cooking process wasn't available, the mob then decided to beat the guy real good....i mean reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll  goooooooooooooooood :) 

My guy then lost sight in the process.....as in dem been pregnant the thing wellu well.... and they decided to set him free.

Apart from police intervention during incidents like this, i think this is the first guy that has ever escaped from being burnt to death by a mob in Naija. I'm guess God has a reason for sparing his life.....he might be the next Paul...who knows...ha ha.

But one thing I know very very very for sure be say this guy no go ever near person property again, till im enter 6 ft....i bet you even fear go dey catch am sometimes to touch im own property for public......ha ha........stupid a** :)

(punchng.com)

BUT WHY WHY WHY?????

(ha ha... Betty u too much ehh)


I seriously dont understand why people do things like this.......Are the intentions of the producers to make people laugh? or they feel its smth creative? or....infact i no just sabi again sef. You see this na the problem with us. The time wey person dey use to think of smth this ridiculous, could be a good time to actually think of making smth new, unique, and a  generally accepted product that would be making money, at least. Thats where i do respect the white peeps shaa....cos most of the time they always trying to create a product that would help the human race in some type of form. But someone else dey somewhere in Naija dey produce 206 Peugeot jeans wey get the crest and back light.....WTF yo????...dem for kukuma put light inside that red light for back nah....smchew
Anyways wetin concern me sef. Na person wey get so much time on im hands go dey do smth this crazy.

And the makers of this jeans actually expect people to wear this thing and walk around happily, like say everything dey alright?........Chai...nothing wey we no go see for Naija ehh.
Just wondering what those red pads are made of shaa..ha ha :)

IBORI PROTESTERS....AS IN SERIOUSLY?????????

There are strong indications that Nigerians who stormed a London Court with T-shirts inscription such as "Free Ibori" and "Deltans want Ibori Back," to witness the trial of former governor of Delta State, Chief James Onanefe Ibori may be arrested by the British authority if it is disco-vered that the pro-test was illegal.


Okay this is what I dont understand. Some people are ready to die for someone, but yet, that someone no even sabi or send for them sef :(
Thats why these days, I no like to dey get into any unnecessary argument with friends regarding an athlete or any other celebrity......cos at the end of the argument, i quietly ask myself "you don loose your voice finish where you dey try support person, but yet, the so called person wey you dey support no even know if you dey exist."   :(

The status of the people who were present at the Southwark Crown Court, venue of the trial, are now subject of investigations and scrutiny by the authority to ascertain their migra-tion status, while those who are residents in the country illegally risk deportation in line with United Kingdom immi-gration laws..........HA HA HA HA HA HA 


I can guarantee you that after the British authority made such statement about deportation, i swear you no go see any Naija person near that court again. Being in london for a couple of months last year, i can strongly say that there are more illegal Naija peeps in London, than the legal ones. As in ehn, almost everyone I came across over there were either illegal, or their visa was about to expire in any minute.....HA HA. I guess thats why a lot of them make their living through yahoo and other crazy business :(


Anyways its just a shame to know that there a lot of fools in Naija that are ready to risk their life for someone in power who they've never met before, but only heard about; a leader who has had zero contribution to the development of his community and doesnt give a sh** about these people fighting for him; or a leader who goes to your community and shares peanuts to you and your elders in order to support him and promote thuggery within the community.


Now I'm really beginning to believe that some people do think through their a** for real. Big Big shame to all those idiots that are still supporting Ibori. The dude is a major criminal, and I hope he gets punished in a major way too. Period!!!


and thanks again to British govt for using deportation as a threat. una know every ehh :)


(tribune)

EVER IMAGINED HOW MANY NAIJA PEEEPS TRAVELING IN AND OUT OF NAIJA EVERY YEAR?

PASSENGER with cargo traffic at the country's premier airport, the Murtala Muhammed Airport has been on the rise in past two years. The airport manager stated that over five million arriving and departing passengers were processed in 2009 and over six million in 2010, representing 11.41per cent increase in passenger movement.



You see this has been smth that i've been perplexed about. Dem talk say Nigeria dey among one of the world's poorest countries. But the number of people that travel on a daily basis ehhn.....i weedah ehh. For some reason, I've always been curious to know how many people be traveling in and out of Naija...and good to know the answer now. Later u go hear say foreign embassies  in Naija (esp US embassy) are very cruel and hardly give our people visa. But i no just understand why people dey talk like this tho. I've travelled a lot in and out of Naija, and anytime i dey inside plane, its always full.

Everyday, there's always an international flight leaving from Lagos, and they are always full. At first, whenever i was leaving from Naija to Yankee, I usually took connecting flights to Europe (mainly British Airways, Airfrance, Delta, Lufthansa and other) before finally going to Yankee. And I noticed that when this plane leaves from Lagos to Europe, the plane was always filled up .....when it stopped at any of the European countries, a lot of Naija peeps get off the plane, and in the connecting flight to Yankee, maybe about 1/3rd of the passengers will be Naija peeps, while the others were foreigners. But since 2010, i've been using direct flights from NY straight to Naija, and vice versa....And there has been no time that the plane wasn't filled up. As in ehhn, that na when I been confirm say Naija peeps dey travel for me jare......DAYUM......

If you go to Lagos Int'l airport anyday after 6pm, I swear you go think say you dey Oshodi market......The place be mad crowded, and all flights leaving out of the country are always crazy filled up. Sometimes flight ticket could be as much as N400,000 to yankee, but that no go stop the plane from being filled up. Mehn, F**k that, people get money for Naija jare....thats why the few airlines (AirFrance, Lufthansa, KLM, British Airways, Delta, Emirates, etc) that have agreed to come to Naija, are making crazy money from us. Well, thanks to our govt  for assisting them in achieving this.

(theguardian.com)

NOT KOOL..... & VERY UNSEXY...PERIOD!!!

(Betty u too much ehh)




Yeah yeah yeah we all know in Naija, the bigger your belle means the more money u got.....But you see the problem with Naija is that we tend to feel that our culture beliefs and norms are always right...and this makes us hardly accept or learn from the culture of other countries. As far as i'm concerned those days are gone. For goodness sake anybody wey dey like this guy in this present 2011 needs to go to straight rehab. I'm still trying to figure out how on earth does this so called pot belle look symbolizes wealth??????...To my own perspective, I got just three words for this kind of look..."Greed" "Laziness" and "Sickness"

You see sometimes like this, i just dey wonder what on earth could actually make a guy's belle this big...like this is some real serious crazy sh** tho. We are now in a world where people are becoming very weight conscious...But the funny thing be say even the rich men these days in Naija will definitely not want this type of look. Therefore all that notion about "the bigger the belle, the more money" bullsh** should come to an end jare. Infact as i been go Naija, most of the guys i saw that had big stomachs were mostly guys wey still dey hustle, and they just drink and eat irresponsibly on a daily basis.

Just think about it...You go to a joint, you see only 3 guys on a table, but they have about 30 empty bottles of star on their table. Like seriously WTF?? shooo..na race?? I dont know what these guys be trying to prove for real. Okay u fit guzzle 12 bottles..yay...make we clap for am....we go give am gold medal....JEEEZ
Anyways shaa, one thing i know for sure is that this look is very very unsexy, and I dont think there's any normal woman out there who would find this very attractive....DAMN...ha ha

NIGER DELTA EXAM....HA HA

HA HA HA ........WOW...Nothing wey person no go see for Naija. Who actually sits down, and think of something like this....This is some mad funny sh** tho.

And did I just see "Show working and diagrams if need be?"  CHAI...this people no go kill me jare. U just gotta love us :)

ha ha  see as dem draw the guys their head ehh :)

NAWA 4 PEOPLE OHH

So in Lagos, a 23 yr old man stabbed his friend to death during a quarrel over a ludo game........!!...AS IN A LUDO GAME OHH!!!
Adeniyi (the killer) said he was leading Afolabi (the victim) in the game, and suddenly Afolabi got angry, which resulted into a quarrel, and then a fight.

Adeniyi alleged that Afolabi punched him on his face and he retaliated. According to Adeniyi, Afolabi broke a bottle on his head thus inflicting injury on him. Adeniyi continued: “I picked up a bottle from our room and stabbed my friend twice.


WTF???!!!...shoooo....is it that serious?...and mind you there was no betting involved in this game ohh..chai!!


But damn yo....Come to think about it, its a freaking ludo game for goodness sake. People for Naija too dey get hot temper for real.......Dont know why people be mad aggressive back home. A life has been lost all because of ludo game. Nothing wey person no go hear for this our country :(


now this people don mess up this beautiful game...anytime i decide to play it in the future, the only thing i go dey think of na how dem take stabb person beacuse of this game...smchew :(


(daily sun)

F**K JULIUS BERGER...........

WARRI-NIGERIAN workers of Julius Berger Nigeria Plc, Ekpan, near Warri, Delta State, have protested alleged persecution and prejudice against them by a German official of the company, who directed that low-grade black workers should not have a canteen on the company's premises.said the expatriate "created a special canteen for the whites only and other amenities for white only" and also "gave strict instruction that no black should be seen around these areas".
According to the group, a 45-year-old Nigerian security guard, employed by an independent contractor, Mr. Ohare Anthony, who was oblivious of the segregation rule, walked close to the canteen meant for whites alone while on patrol, and unfortunately for the black man, the German national saw him and allegedly unleashed his Alsatian dog on him.

AND WHAT IS OUT F**KING GOVERNMENT DOING ABOUT THIS SITUATION????......How the heck did this sh** happen in the first place? A German bastard will come into our country and treat us like sh**......unleashing dogs on us?

Why the f**k is Julius Berger still doin in Naija. We dont need their services anymore cos these people have just raped our land, all in the name of "doing construction". We have Dantata and MCC and co.....so why still keep these germen touts around? I dont know if most of you are aware that Julius berger have never taken cash from Naija....We've always paid them for their work in exchange of crude oil, just as directed by them.....Can you imaging such bullsh**?
Smth better be done about this issue ASAP, cos this is just unacceptable. Sick n tired of all these white racist bastards that find their way to Naija, and keep on humiliating our people....but yet we go still dey smile dey praise them...WTF.....NIGERIANS IN NAIJA BETTER WAKE DA F**K UP !!!...those days of onyibo oyoyo bullsh** are over...JEEZ

anyways na our govt way i go blame for all this mess...cos if it actually treated its citizens like humans, then these idiots wouldn't have the balls to come into our own country and try such sh**.
(vanguard online)

SPEAKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO TALK THE TALK....AND WALK THE WALK TOO

The Governor of Imo State, Owelle Rochas Anayo Okorocha has directed that his free education programme for primary and secondary schools in the state begins with immediate effect.

The governor, who is expected to swear-in the newly appointed commissioners, acting chairman, Imo State Council of Traditional Rulers and three others, said those who had paid for the current school year to report to their principals/headmasters for refund of such fees.
He also ordered principals, teachers and staff of the state school system to immediately stop collecting fees/levies from students.

Una dey seem am?...shey i been talk am earlier say i get too much faith in this dude. I knew he was one of those people that will make a very big impact once they get into office. Even before he decided to run for governor, he has always given hundreds of students scholarship in Imo State...as in with his own hard earned money ohh. Thats how you know someone who really cares for his community and ready to take all measures in order to make his people comfortable.

I shouldn't be so so surprised about all the positive impacts he's made in the state within a very short period of time while he's still in office. Therefore everyone watch out ohh, cos Imo State will soon be the best place to live in Naija. i know say some of una dey laugh me shey?...una think say i dey dream?...anyways make we dey see shaa....Time shall tell....ha ha 


(vanguard online)

AND WE ALL WONDER WHY WE HAVE A VERY LOW UNEMPLOYMENT RATE...

And later most of our youths begin to complain and wonder why they are unemployed. ITS BECAUSE OF CRAZINESS LIKE THIS!!!

Some blockheads felt they were wasting their time in school, therefore they dropped out.....and the other remaining blockheads wey manage to remain and graduate from school, definitely bribed their way through...believe it or not!!

Wonna ask me how i'm sure about what i'm talking about?.....Well, one good example was during my three weeks NYSC camp in 2009. I swear about 80% of the peeps in my room didn't know how to construct a good sentence...talkless of pronouncing a word.....then can u now imagine if they were told to spell the word on paper????????  :(


THATS NAIJA FOR YOU, SON!!!!

ONLY IN NAIJA!!!....WTF ???

(major shout out to betty & chichi for providing this radical picture.....ha ha )

You know, if not for the words on this flyer, I've already concluded that this criminal looking dude right here is a native doctor. Well, afterall that's actually what most of these our self proclaimed pastors are...preach the word of God during the day, then go do their diabolical/secret society bullsh** at night. Dem know the kind people wey dem dey deceive nah.....cos i'm definitely the last person that will ever fall for this their BS....me and my family have experienced a whole lot of their bullsh** in the past...so never again.

Like lets all be honest here, WTF is a pastor doing with a machete in a church service for Christ sake????? The last time I checked, a pastor's one and only weapon should be his bible. So i'm actually wondering what he will be doing with this machete during this so called deliverance service. Will he cut off part of his body as sacrifice? Or will he cut off one of his members body part by mistake or so? Or will he perform some type of acrobatic sh** for his members? Or maybe he will be swinging his machete up, down, left, right, center in the open air, and lying to his congregation that he's in a very very tough and critical spiritual fight with satan, which he will eventually proclaim himself as the winner?...ha ha

Just wondering shaa...cos in the flyer, they didn't specify who they were going to use this big knife on :(

Before, na handkerchief, then whistle, then chain, then pigeon...now na machete...i bet you soon and very soon, u go see pastor wey go carry gun come church....all in the name of fighting this so called satan.....but the funny thing be say when this satan himself show now, all these clowns go even run pass their members.

Well i dont know bout u guyz, but one thing i know for sure is at the end of the day, majority of these self proclaimed pastors are money hungry individuals just like u and me....and thats why the church is now the best way to hammer in Naija. Even Yahoo business no dey too bring money like church business, cos sometimes maga no dey pay like that. But for church business, all u need do is wake up one morning and start telling people that the spirit of God told u to immediately become a servant of God....then go open a small church..at least u start with ur immediate family and friends....with the help of black power, lil manipulation here and there, as well as adding some form of style/swag/charisma while preaching the gospel.....then u will see that u start getting more and more members.....and then BOOOM......JACKPOT!!!

I'm even surprised they did not put in the flyer that all attending members should come with their own machette......crazy animals

Topic: Radical Night 4 Jesus...Come as u are.....WTF is this???

And any pastor that goes by the name Ifeanyi Godffrey, is definitely a radical/tout/criminal...silly a** dude.....smchew sh** like this be pissing me off so bad.

ONE OF OUR SILLY DAYS!!...HA HA HA

HA HA ...Okay I believe this video was taken in March... prob a few days before i went to Naija. So me and my wife were on our way to go pick up our son from his grand mum's place....and for some reason, we were just in some type of very hyper mood (as usual..ha ha ). So we decided to act a fool right in front of the camera. Trust me, anyone who have seen both of us can definitely tell how silly we are on a regular basis....ha ha

Anyways i did post this on facebook during that period, but i just remembered that not every reader on this blog is my friend on FB...Therefore i just decide say make I post am here just for the fun of it...ha ha....make una enjoy. I even have more crazier videos than this one...ha ha.  My people life is too short jare...so live it to the fullest!!  ;)

Shout out to my luvly/gorgeous wife, Mole...thanks for being as silly, weird and nasty like me. if not, how i for take manage??.....ha ha

NAWA TO SOME GUYZ JARE!!!

(photos provided by Betty Braimah)



HA HA HA....dude shaped like a woman....and it doesnt even help the fact that he squeezed himself into that skinny jeans...How pathetic.
Okay so i'm trying to imagine what actually made this guy come out looking like this. I'm wondering if he's gay though. But i no too sure cos i know say plenty gay Naija guys no dey too like to dey come out of that dark closet. And also it looks like a university setting, so i dont think a gay guy will be comfy walking around a campus, smiling and being proud...cos i know say some boys no dey like use eye dey see that kind nonsense.
Or maybe he just like wearing tight clothes...cos mehn, when i was in Naija, i be seeing a lot of dudes wearing tight jeans and tucking in their polo shirt or button-up shirt inside their jeans....and most of them got some very protruding stomach...and i'm like WTF is this dude thinking when he looked at himself in the mirror before leaving his home???  :(
Or maybe my guy didnt have any jeans to wear (prob his clothes were stolen or they were wet) and he really had to go take a very important exam, so he just rushed and put on his girlfriend's jeans.......Umm wait a min.....what i just said doesnt make sense right? cos he should have wore a short or smth else as an alternative....my bad.....ha ha
Infact i no just sabi wetin be this clown's intention when im been dey wear this crap!

umm but F**k that jare....thats a female jeans right there!!!...look at the shape if that freaking jeans...DOG-GONE IT.....HA HA ..Naija people no go kill me jare :)

HA HA HA HA HA ........WOW!!!

HA HA HA HA ...This picture just got me cracking up anytime I look at it. You see during my secondary school days, when we don write our end of term exam finish, there's nothing else to do when you come to school. So thats the period were you go know say boys dey creative ehh. Its either u playing football in the field, or u playing basketball, or u playing counterball on the floor, or you busy trying to look for a fight or a school property to destroy, or u chilling talking to the girls (for those guys wey dey feel say na dem sabi toast woman pass)...infact there are so many activities that we all find ourselves doing once exams are over.   But apart from football and making people laugh, the one thing wey i been do well well na playing of ping pong/table tennis. Mehn this game is mad fun, and during those days, school no get time to go buy full size table tennis board. So a man gats do what a man gotta do....So na so we dey join join desks together in order to form a big tennis-like board. Then we go break plywood and shape it into a square (which we call paco)....then find one long stick to divide both sides evenly...and thats our net....THEN GAME DON SET OHH.....I swear we dey play tennis from morning to night..boys no dey tire ehh.....and the funniest thing be say there are some guys that are very very good on the paco board, and we call them paco masters. But when u put these same guys on the standard tennis board, i swear they wont even win one game.....ha ha ....brush a dog, a dog shall always be a dog i guess.....HA HA HA
Anyways shaa, whenever we couldnt find any long solid wood to divide the boards, we would become creative and find other measures....i remember us putting peak milk containers between the boards; or boys go cut part of their mosquito net and use sticks to hold them at each corner; or sometimes we find about 10 vasiline lotion containers and put them across the middle of the board....as in ehhn, anything to play table tenniss ehh

Anyways, i thought i was a desperado in playing tennis at then....But when i saw this picture right here???.....na there i come know say desperate times actually calls for desperate measures......Never in my wildest dreams would i have ever thought of someone acting as the net on the table.....HA HA ...FREAKING HILARIOUS :)    !!!

imagine being that guy n the table...and i bet this na set game.....the looser will become the net...ha ha