Nawa 4 you, me, us, him, her, them and all other Naija peeps making headlines such as our Naija celebrities, corrupt politicians, fake pastors, yahoo-yahoo peeps, normal and abnormal, and any latest news worth laughing about in Naija and abroad.......ALL REAL STORIES....NO BULLSH#&$%@*!!!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
WHY OH WHY? NAWA 4 SOME BABES OHH
So someone just sent me this pic....At first I was like “yeah there's a lot going on in this pic.” But I was still trying to figure out why this pic was sent to me (since the sender didnt put any description along in the email)
So after much scrutiny, I then realized what is was..........ITS THE FREAKING EYEBROWS, DAMMIT!!! :)
The ibotic chicka shaved her damn eyebrows, and drew them back with an eyepencil on her fore-head...ha ha
You see this is what happens when most of you women be shaving off your eyebrows.And I found this so so ironic cos when my wife came with me to Naija, she was shocked to see a lot of women who shaved off their eyebrows and replaced it with eye pencil drawing.......or women that use lip pencil to line their lips black..or the ones that put very thick eye shadow. That was probably the biggest culture shock she received when she was there.
As in ehhn, since we came back from that journey in 09, every now and then, she will just bring up that question "baby why do some Nigerian women shave off their eyebrow, and also add lip pencil to line their lips?" And as I'm writing this post, I still haven’t given her any correct answer till today....I just keep on beating around the bush….cos I really dont know what to say. Umm nope thats not true. I think I actually told her one time that it was probably a culture thing, or they just used to it, and feel it looks sexy one them. But I dont think that she bought that answer....ha ha....and I dont think I can ever give here any good answer for real. Cos as far as she's concerned, she and every other American women find that act very "funny and crazy"..lol.....And me too also find am to be very "CRAZY" too for real...ha ha :)
So if any of una think say you know the reason why our women dey do that kind thing, abeg make you tell me, so that I go give the woman correct answer jare...he he.
Note to all my beautiful Naija/African ladies in general: "There's nothing as sexy as a well shaped natural eyebrow.....In order words, STOP THE WHOLE EYE-PENCIL EYEBROW SHAPING.......NOT COOL...NOT COOL!! :)
I bet you tomorrow nah this babe go come out dey tell people say she be make-up artist :)
OUR AUNTY PATIENCE TRAVELS WITH 32 AIDES...!!!....YOU GOTTA LUV OUR AUNTY :)
So I been hear say our first lady recently went to AU summit in Addis Ababa.....and guess how many aides accompanied her? 32...as in Thirty-freaking-two.
Umm if I can remember, didnt our uncle Johnny just promise us that he would reduce waste in governance? Or na only me hear am? or was I dreaming or smth? or didnt I also hear am say the only way to save money go be through subsidy?
You see, what annoys me about Naija be say we too dey do like say na we better pass every other African countries....raising our chest and shoulders high, moving around with nonsense pride...despite the fact say we actually have nothing to show for, if you come to think about it. And I bet you other African countries go just dey laugh us anytime we wan start our usuall noise making. I still dont know why we still living in past past past glory.
I'm still trying to figure out what does our aunty Patience need 32 aides for? I'm guessing its our tax payers money that will be used for this trip shey? Umm just wondering ohh....me no talk anything negative shey? ;)
Anyways, its so unfortunate that during this fuel subsidy protest, we were unable to seize such a golden opportunity to start a revolution. All because of some bunch of NLC leaders/faggots who betrayed us. Well, I guess another time. But till then, lets keep on doing what we do best..."suffering and smiling :)
(saharareporters.com)
Umm if I can remember, didnt our uncle Johnny just promise us that he would reduce waste in governance? Or na only me hear am? or was I dreaming or smth? or didnt I also hear am say the only way to save money go be through subsidy?
You see, what annoys me about Naija be say we too dey do like say na we better pass every other African countries....raising our chest and shoulders high, moving around with nonsense pride...despite the fact say we actually have nothing to show for, if you come to think about it. And I bet you other African countries go just dey laugh us anytime we wan start our usuall noise making. I still dont know why we still living in past past past glory.
I'm still trying to figure out what does our aunty Patience need 32 aides for? I'm guessing its our tax payers money that will be used for this trip shey? Umm just wondering ohh....me no talk anything negative shey? ;)
Anyways, its so unfortunate that during this fuel subsidy protest, we were unable to seize such a golden opportunity to start a revolution. All because of some bunch of NLC leaders/faggots who betrayed us. Well, I guess another time. But till then, lets keep on doing what we do best..."suffering and smiling :)
(saharareporters.com)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
SEE MASSOB DEY GIVE ARMY 48HRS ULTIMATUM OHH!!
AWKA-THE Movement for the Actualization of the Sovereign State of Biafra, MASSOB, yesterday gave the Nigerian Army 48 hours to release its members arrested and detained in Onitsha since last Sunday, saying its non-violent posture should not be mistaken for weakness.
Addressing newsmen in Onitsha, MASSOB Director of Information, Mr. Uchenna Madu, also demanded release of corpses of the organisation’s members allegedly killed same day for proper burial.
YEAH YEAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH....Until I see am with my own eyes ehh
You see one thing about igbo people be say dem too dey make too much noise. They are usually the victims of any sort of religious crisis or chaos that erupts in Naija, regardless of the region. Everytime na so dem go dey butcher us up and down like fowl, and yet na so so talk we sabi. Dem don butcher us for Jos, we no talk...Boko Haram come dey butcher our people for North, and yet we never do anything. And now Naija army don enter our land dey butcher us ke. Come on Mehn....
It’s pathetic that igbos can’t stand for their own right. And later this so called Massob people go come out dey talk "we are trying to do a peaceful demonstration". Peaceful my a**. Okay where peaceful demonstration don take una go? Those days of Ghandi and Martin Luther King don pass jare. And even if im never pass, such type of demonstration style cannot happen in Naija.
Everytime na so so Biafra/Massob wharever wey igbo peeps don dey carry for head for how many years now, and yet nobody send for them. See Boko Haram wey just come out yesterday don dey even make our government dey shiver sef....This is to show us say the only way you can make your message heard in Naija is by being violent. Unfortunately that’s what it has come up to. Cos if you start to dey do Ghandi style, even your children-children no go fit still send your message to the government.
I'm sick and tired of a these fake threats jare. If you want to shoot, then shoot and dont talk. Jeez. Anyways make we dey see shaa. Shey 24hrs don pass...so we have another 24hrs left. So make we dey see the outcome. As much as nobody wants violence, but I think its about time these whole Massob guys change this their "peaceful demonstration" bullsh**, go equip themselves and be ready for war. Cos this is just getting out of hand. Our so called army (which we all know is controlled by the north) cannot do this to OPC or Boko Haram....But na always for igbo people body wey dem go dey do gra-gra!!
One thing I know for sure be say if igbo peeps continue this their whole "talk and no action bullsh**," then 100yrs from now, The only time people will hear about Igbos will be in history classes"...cos by then we go don go extinction finish :)
But how can we achieve our goal when we igbos cannot come together as one? If we truly start war now, before you know it, our government will meet some of our ndigbo leaders and bribe them and their boys...and before you know it, war don end. I guess people are right when they say "na we like money pass" :(
(vanguardngr.com)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
MY AFRICAN PEOPLE, I PRESENT TO YOU "AZONTO"
Okay so I'm a big fan of all types of dance moves, especially the African ones. And yes I can step really good too. People wey sabi me me go fit attest to my dancing capabilities nah :)
My favorite dance steps...Umm lemme see...Galala, Makossa, Swohh and ofcourse my all time favorite, "alanta" :)
As in ehhn, when Alanta came out, I was going crazy over the dance step...Its just mad kool. Even sef, I dey dance alanta when I go Yankee clubs....and na so people go just dey look me (I'm sure they prob be like "WTF is this nukka doing"?...ha ha)
Anyways I never thought there will be another dance step as sick as Alanta. But I guess I was wrong. Last October when I threw my house party, one of my Ghanaian pals brought his cd and gave the DJ to play. And when the songs came up, he started doing this crazy dance step...and people just gather am dey shout, dey ginger my guy. And I was like "wow this step correct ohh." At first I thought he was just making it up, but when I later went to a couple of Ghanaian parties, I then realized that a new dance has come to light. "AZONTO"
As in I love this dance step so much. Its just mad kool ehh. I think it’s kind of a mixture of African dance mixed with London "migraine skank" or whatever dem dey call am for there sef.
To be honest, I gotta say that this “azonto” dance step (and the songs that go with it) just put Ghana back on the map ehh. We all know Naija has always got the craziest and hottest dance steps. There's even this new Naija dance step called "etighi". Yeah its really cool too. But Mehn I swear this "AZONTO" dance step is just untouchable right now. And sorry My Naija peeps, I'm going Ghana for now. Azonto all the way.
YES CHARLAY CHARLAY CHARLAY:)
And is it just me or Ghanain artists are also stepping their game up big time too :)
Big ups to my Ghanaian people jare
Friday, January 13, 2012
MY NEW WORD INVENTION......"PROSADE"
Guys I swear I don invent new language ehh..jokes aside. So if any of una get link to the people wey dey produce dictionary, abeg let me know, so they can include my new word. At least make im be say Naija man don invent smth nah. Anyways here it is:
Definition: A prosade is the art of combining a protest and a crusade at any given place and time. In the beginning phase, the protesters lead the movement. Then towrads the end, a "man of God" takes over. Such event can only be seen in the West African country of Nigeria.
Okay so this picture was among the many pictures I received regarding the fuel subsidy protest thingy in my homeland, Imo State. So at first, when I was scrolling at the pictures, They looked like a typical protest picture....and I was happy that my people have finally decided to join their fellow brothers across the country and say “enough is enough” you know.
But as I kept on scrolling down, na im I come see the protesters dey kneel down hot korota ohh, dey even raise their hand up join sef. So me come be like "shooooo"...who's making them do this nah, and why why why? So within the 5 seconds wey I been dey look the picture, my mind don dey go plenty places in regards to wetin make this people dey kneel down like this. Then I immediately recalled that the last time I saw a bunch of grown ass people kneel down like this and raise their hands up, na for church. Inside me, I was like “I was like I hope its not what I'm thinking ohh.” Then I decided to keep on scrolling down...and BEHOLD, there's a reverend father in the house!!! .....and I'm sure una already know wetin I wan talk nah ;)
Yeah so I believe It’s only in Naija that you will see these so called "men of God" go just appear in the most random places/events ever. Like lets be for real right here....Its a freaking protest for goodness sake, so why bring in a reverend father in this? Why is he there? Okay as im don come now, anything don change? or dem don give dem special key to Imo State government house? I don’t understand why most of we Naija peeps fail to realize say no be everything wey we go just dey call God name up and down. There are certain situations that we have to take matters into our own hands in order to get the type of result that we want. And this Fuel subsidy is a good example. If we all come together as one, there are certain actions we could take that would make our government to revert the fuel price. There are also actions we could take which would drastically change our government system for good, thereby making all our so called leaders accountable to we the citizens. Afterall a few countries did it recently. So we should start taking necessary actions, instead of waiting and hoping for God to come down from heaven and change the fuel price for us.
And nobody can tell me that he came with the sole purpose of joining in the protest.....na pure lie be that oh. Dude had this sh** all planned. Even making the protesters dey kneel down for that hot korota wey fit wound person knee cap...But guess what? My guy is standing tall ehh...ha ha. And I fit bet you say at the end of that day, that guy been collect offering money. Believe me!! Mehnn Only if we used our God given brains most of the time....and I swear things will be much much better for us.
Just look at the lady with the cap on the left side, she just dey into the whole thing, like say dem dey give present to the person wey sabi kneel down pass. Or even look at the lady with container of garri for her head….holding her garri firmly with one hand, and raising the other one up…….CHAI…I just feel for my people
GUYZ WAKE UP...THIS SHOULD BE A FREAKING PROTEST, AND NOT A CRUSADE !!!!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
NIGER DELTA YOUTHS ARE VEXING........
A group, Coalition of Niger Delta Youths, yesterday, threatened to shut down oil facilities belonging to various multi-national oil companies in the region if government fails to revert to N65 per litre in line with the yearnings of the majority of the Nigerian masses. ‘We are giving President Jonathan 24 hours ultimatum to reverse the pump price to N65 and failure to do so, we will go back to our communities and when we go back to our communities, we will ensure that all the oil installations in the creek is made not to work
Ehenn...na now guyzes are talking sense. In my own perspective, this is prob the best way to make uncle Johny think twice about this absurd decision he took.
So this is what I think would happen if these guys really execute their attacks, instead of giving empty threats jare:
Niger Delta youths blow up foreign oil facilities.....Oil production will be shut down.........price of petrol for Yankee go come rise up...then our Uncle Obama and the American people go wan know wetin dey really happen for Naija......CNN and other major networks go come dey show the world wetin dey happen for Naija........then Uncle Obama go come call Uncle Johny dey ask am "Johny how far you nah? I just dey see wetin dey happen for your area. But nawa4u ohh…you no dey try at all. You know say US election dey come up soon, and I dey try do everything possible to revive my economy for hia, in order to get re-elected. So if you know want make serious yawa burst between me and you, then you better put that petrol price back to N65, or to a much lower price sharp sharp. Then after I get re-elected, you and your government fit do anything wey una wan do....You dey hia me so?" And uncle Johnny go probably tell am "Uncle Bam Bam, not only have I heard everything wey you just talk, but I dey also believe you scatter ehh."
Then Uncle Johnny go come announce say after much consideration, he has decided to change the whole subsidy thingy. Then the Nigerian people will live happily ever after.....and everyone will forget about occupy Naija……and our suffering and smiling levels continues :(
(momentng.com)
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
THE SLAPPING FESTIVAL......... AWESOME!!
So I'm sure most of you guys saw that video where Bishop Oyedepo slapped the living krase out of one chick who claimed to be a “witch for Jesus”. LOL.....as in ehn, me self was surprised when I watched it cos I never saw that coming eh. What I found very interesting was how this video just gained international attention recently. Mind you, this was a video that has been on youtube for almost a year now. But for some reason the thing has received so much attention recently...sotey it was even posted on worldstarhiphop.com :)
Well, a lot of people supported the Bishop's action, while others condemned it shaa. As for me, where do I stand? Umm well it depends. As much as I believe that 99% of Naija pastors are criminals, I still got some kind of respect for this dude tho. I remember like 7yrs ago, when I came back to Naija, my aunt took me to his church for a sunday worship, and mehnnn.....see church ehh. Even as I enter there, fear been catch me sef. The size of this dude's church is unfreaking-believable. Infact that Canaan land na city on its own. I was shocked for real. I gotta say the dude is smart tho. Even my younger bro is a very big fan of the guy. I remember when my bro been dey Naija, sometimes when I call am, im go tell me say im dey go Winners Chapel for spiritual week. Sometimes I go wan even ask am "O boy nawa4u ohh. Why you dey leave PH dey go all the way to Winners wey dey for Lasgidi? Na so the church take sweet you reach?" But I usually held back my words….make im no be like say me no want am to grow spiritually in Christ you know :)
Anyways I started getting irritated when my bro used to tell me how this guy commands people and boasts...and how he got a private jet....and so on and so forth. And I'm like wo wo wo...This nukka actually got himself a private jet? And majority of his congregation are struggling to make ends meet. And when Sunday comes, they give all their money to this dude, all in the name of tithes/offering/sowing a seed?
Anyways back to what I was yarning… So Mr. Bishop recently responded about the video, and this was what he said
The Bishop who was unrepentant said "People now complain on the Internet that I slapped a witch. If I see another one, I'll slap," Still, he bragged today, "It is my ministry to slap!"
LOL LOLZ LOLZ....Oga shey na your ministry to slap.......foolish man. You see this is how you know people that boast a lot, and feel like they're mini gods.
This na the same man wey been go see late Yaradua when he was sick, and after the meeting, he refused to respond to the questions regarding the president's condition as of then. Instead he stated
"It is true that I visited him, "It is a private visit, and I don't owe the public any obligation. It is a private visit and I don't want to comment further on it."
Like Really?? You see these days, I dont even blame these pastors so much. It’s all those so called members that I blame. We Nigerians are so caught up with this whole Christianity and Faith thingy, that we hardly use our brains anymore to think outside the box. And that’s why we easily become the mugus of these so called pastors/bishop/apostles/prophet/evangelist and all other names they be giving themselves.....all in the name of Christianity. Chai. Mehn God get plenty things to judge on that faithful day ohh.......
MY PEOPLE OPEN YOUR EYES AND STOP BEING DECEIEVED BY MOST OF THESE A**HOLES. I know some people might be offended because I dey criticize their daddy (You know say all these loyal members of churches are very very quick to defending their pastors....ha ha)
Anyways what I would really wonna know is this......Yes I know the bible said "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live"...and Mr. bishop can use that to underpin his decision to whoozing the chick. And he could also argue that he wasn’t slapping the girl directly… instead it was the witch inside her that he was targeting, since it used her to make mockery of God...okay fair enough.
Oya ohh lets do a lil Nawa4u algebra right here in regards to the incident.
If "Bishop + girl who claims to be a witch = SLAP"
Then "Bishop + Big politician or Wealthy member who claims to be a witch = ???????"
That’s Naija 4 u my people….the land of oppression :)
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
FUEL SUBSIDY/OLOKPA BRUTALITY!!!
You know its only in Naija that you will see a group of people come together to do smth, but when yawa come burst, you are on your own. Thats one thing I dont just understand. If you take a look at previous protests in other parts of the world, when one person is being arrested, other people will do everything possible to save the guy...and if they cant, they will prefer to get arrested too. Thats what I call unity. And this is why Naija will always remain Naija, and will never move forward. We lack unity and spirit of struggle and revolution I swear.
I sure say una hear as one girl been dey say "see what they are doing to this boy" Duhhh, yes they are beating the living krase out of him, and all of una wey dey claim protesters just dey there dey look film...instead of bonding as one and finding a way to prevent the guy from being pounded. Yes I know say out police people their head no good, and them fit shoot people wey come close....but come on, you cant tell me if all those protesters come together and approach those olokpas, they will oepn fire.
Anyways so this is what I believe is going to happen. "Double the fuel price, the citizens will be mad and there will be a major outcry and protests around the nation, then at the end of the day, the FG will reduce the price to somewhere around N100/liter...and we the citizens will feel we our voices have been heard cos we fought a good fight...and then we will foolishly accept this new price....and the whole protest and whining will just end all of a sudden....and we will continue our suffering and smiling ...as usual.
In my 27 yrs on this planet earth, I believe the most absurd thing I've ever heard is that the 5th largest oil producing country in the world have been importing oil for the past few yrs.....why? cos all their refineries are broken down, and there's no money to repair them. But yet billions of Naira are being stolen every month by the government officals????? This is even worst than when some of my American friends ask me if I see lions walking around in my neighborhood back in Nigeria...... or even when people call afirca a country.
??????????????????????????
This type of situation really makes me ashamed of my beloved country for real.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
NAIJA PEEPS AND OUR MOUTH WAHALA...HA HA
The Minister of Health, Professo rOnyebuchi Chukwu, has described the oral health situation in Nigeria as unimaginable, disclosing that 44 per cent of Nigerians have decayed teeth.
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.......HA HA...O BOY SEE YARNINGS EH
You see wetin dey amuse me pass about this news na how they came up with that number "44%" ha ha......mehn you gotta love our country juo. Like we have a database that records how many people that go to the dentist for tooth problems quo?. But as far as I dey concern, that 44% dey even small sef :)
For Yankee here, people go to the dentist at least twice in a year. The first time I went to a dentist here was early this yr. As in ehhn, no be small thing I experience ohh. It all started like 2 yrs ago, I saw this lil hole for my back teeth (one of those big big ones wey dey for back wey we dey use chew well well…wetin be the real name again sef…ha ha) and I took it as something little and not harmful. But as time just dey go on, I come notice say when I chop food, sometimes some food particles go just enter the hole, and it was one very uncomfortable feeling. I gats use pin or toothpick to bring that sh** out. And as time just continue to dey go by, I come notice say the thing don big dey expand, and come deep well…. and anytime I chop something, one food particle must to enter inside that hole. And I got sick and tired of staying in front of the mirror trying to get out this little thing. Cos if I leave that particle inside there, it will make me very uncomfortable. Coupled with the fact say if the thing stay there overnight, the next morning ehhn, na so the smell of the food particle go just combine with the smell of early morning mouth wey dem never brush, thereby producing one kind very strange and disturbing odor when i open mouth to talk. You know when person wake up for morning, na so your mouth go just dey ooze anyhow...then can you now imagine if you come get one kind little meat wey don rotten dey hide inside your mouth? Not kool at all. Not kool.
Anyways, at a point it became so unbearable that I had to go see the dentist. When I reach there ehn, as the man look inside my mouth finish, na so im ask me "when was the last time you went to a dentist"? (this na normal question dem dey ask everybody ohh...make una no come dey think say im been dey ask me such question cos my whole mouth don rotten finish..ha ha ) Then I replied to him "umm I cant remember...probably when I was like 10 yrs or so." Na so the man just look me with surprise like say I commit one kind major crime for not going to the dentist. After examining my mouth, na so my guy tell me say all my back teeth get hole and need refilling sometime soon...but that particular tooth wey carry me come there need major root canal. So I later went on to do the whole thing, and I was so relieved after the whole surgery. But I never go do the other ones shaa. I'm guessing I go do am when the hole don dey open well well. May God help me. As a typical Naija man wey I be, I’m not always proactive, and I don’t just know why :(
I decided to give this lil story of mine cos before I went to visit the doctor, I been tell my friends about this my problem....and to my greatest surprise, almost all my friends I told actually had the same problem too. Some told me they have taken care of it, while some talk say dem never go, but dem go soon go do their own, cos the thing don dey disturb them too. HA HA. I no go lie I was kinda releived when i been find out say no be only me dey waka around with rotten teeth inside mouth shaa :)
I think they major cause of this whole teeth thing na because we too dey take so much sugary things, and barely or seldom see the dentist. The only time we dey go dentist na when our mouth done rotten finish. I just wish we could be proactive about issues like this shaa. So that’s why I was thinking, if almost all my friends wey dey here get some form of teeth problem, and they have access to a dentist anytime here for obodo onyibo ohh.....Then what about my peeps wey dey Naija nko. Infact ehhn, majority of Naija peeps never go dentist before. The only time they've heard of the word “dentist” na either during primary school (remember those days dem dey teach us about different professions and stuff like that) or when dem hear the name from a friend or so.
Therefore left with me, I go even talk say that 44% na small sef. I fit guarantee you say that number suppose be like 80% or so. And if una think say I dey lie, then let’s start from this nawa4u community. Ok to all of una wey dey read this post, how many of una don go see dentist before huh? huh? I fit guarantee say na just very few people….including me…he he :)
One thing I know for sure be say at the end of the day, there's nothing kool about waking up in the morning and walking around town with a rotten teeth inside your mouth. And the worst be say na people like that go dey talk and laugh pass everybody. I remember when I never fix my teeth, na me been dey make noise pass nah (although I've always been a noise maker shaa). Na then we go wan open mouth dey laugh anyhow, without remembering say we dey expose other peeps to danger :(
(nigerian tribune)
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.......HA HA...O BOY SEE YARNINGS EH
You see wetin dey amuse me pass about this news na how they came up with that number "44%" ha ha......mehn you gotta love our country juo. Like we have a database that records how many people that go to the dentist for tooth problems quo?. But as far as I dey concern, that 44% dey even small sef :)
For Yankee here, people go to the dentist at least twice in a year. The first time I went to a dentist here was early this yr. As in ehhn, no be small thing I experience ohh. It all started like 2 yrs ago, I saw this lil hole for my back teeth (one of those big big ones wey dey for back wey we dey use chew well well…wetin be the real name again sef…ha ha) and I took it as something little and not harmful. But as time just dey go on, I come notice say when I chop food, sometimes some food particles go just enter the hole, and it was one very uncomfortable feeling. I gats use pin or toothpick to bring that sh** out. And as time just continue to dey go by, I come notice say the thing don big dey expand, and come deep well…. and anytime I chop something, one food particle must to enter inside that hole. And I got sick and tired of staying in front of the mirror trying to get out this little thing. Cos if I leave that particle inside there, it will make me very uncomfortable. Coupled with the fact say if the thing stay there overnight, the next morning ehhn, na so the smell of the food particle go just combine with the smell of early morning mouth wey dem never brush, thereby producing one kind very strange and disturbing odor when i open mouth to talk. You know when person wake up for morning, na so your mouth go just dey ooze anyhow...then can you now imagine if you come get one kind little meat wey don rotten dey hide inside your mouth? Not kool at all. Not kool.
Anyways, at a point it became so unbearable that I had to go see the dentist. When I reach there ehn, as the man look inside my mouth finish, na so im ask me "when was the last time you went to a dentist"? (this na normal question dem dey ask everybody ohh...make una no come dey think say im been dey ask me such question cos my whole mouth don rotten finish..ha ha ) Then I replied to him "umm I cant remember...probably when I was like 10 yrs or so." Na so the man just look me with surprise like say I commit one kind major crime for not going to the dentist. After examining my mouth, na so my guy tell me say all my back teeth get hole and need refilling sometime soon...but that particular tooth wey carry me come there need major root canal. So I later went on to do the whole thing, and I was so relieved after the whole surgery. But I never go do the other ones shaa. I'm guessing I go do am when the hole don dey open well well. May God help me. As a typical Naija man wey I be, I’m not always proactive, and I don’t just know why :(
I decided to give this lil story of mine cos before I went to visit the doctor, I been tell my friends about this my problem....and to my greatest surprise, almost all my friends I told actually had the same problem too. Some told me they have taken care of it, while some talk say dem never go, but dem go soon go do their own, cos the thing don dey disturb them too. HA HA. I no go lie I was kinda releived when i been find out say no be only me dey waka around with rotten teeth inside mouth shaa :)
I think they major cause of this whole teeth thing na because we too dey take so much sugary things, and barely or seldom see the dentist. The only time we dey go dentist na when our mouth done rotten finish. I just wish we could be proactive about issues like this shaa. So that’s why I was thinking, if almost all my friends wey dey here get some form of teeth problem, and they have access to a dentist anytime here for obodo onyibo ohh.....Then what about my peeps wey dey Naija nko. Infact ehhn, majority of Naija peeps never go dentist before. The only time they've heard of the word “dentist” na either during primary school (remember those days dem dey teach us about different professions and stuff like that) or when dem hear the name from a friend or so.
Therefore left with me, I go even talk say that 44% na small sef. I fit guarantee you say that number suppose be like 80% or so. And if una think say I dey lie, then let’s start from this nawa4u community. Ok to all of una wey dey read this post, how many of una don go see dentist before huh? huh? I fit guarantee say na just very few people….including me…he he :)
One thing I know for sure be say at the end of the day, there's nothing kool about waking up in the morning and walking around town with a rotten teeth inside your mouth. And the worst be say na people like that go dey talk and laugh pass everybody. I remember when I never fix my teeth, na me been dey make noise pass nah (although I've always been a noise maker shaa). Na then we go wan open mouth dey laugh anyhow, without remembering say we dey expose other peeps to danger :(
(nigerian tribune)
UNCLE JONNY THE FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATER
So I'm sure some of you guys are friends with our uncle Jonny on Facebook. As in every once in two or three days, my guy dey update im status, telling the Nigerian people what he has achieved, about to achieve, and dreaming to achieve.
I remember when he opened a Facebook account, plenty Naija peeps been dey very happy, cos they felt we now have a happening Presido wey dey use technology dey communicate with im people. As in ehn, I sure say some people even been dey feel say one day, dem go get opportunity to even chat with uncle Jonny for online. At then, anything wey Uncle Jonny talk for im status, everybody go just dey “like” the status up and down, dey praise the guy like say im dash everybody for Naija N1 milla, or im don provide 24/7/ electricity. But for the past few months, guyzes don dey vex for Uncle Jonny due to his incapability of handling certain sensitive issues, especially when it comes to the security in the nation. Cos as far as I dey concern, our security dey very very naked and cold. So this has resulted to a lot of people getting so pissed off at him. And the whole fuel subsidy thingy didn’t even help issues. So these days, whenever our beloved presido updates his status, instead of seeing all the praise, na so so vexation comments go just full everywhere……as in PEOPLE DEY VEX EHH…..nothing just seems to work in the country, and someone def needs to be held accountable you know. And who else but the head nukka in charge, Uncle Jonny
Anyways so as usual my guy posted this yesterday:
As we celebrate the brith of Jesus Christ this Christmas season, I want us all to pause for a while and consider what we are celebrating. We are celebrating the birth of Jesus and the commencement of His life of self sacrifice. Upon a further examination of the life of Jesus, we see that His life exemplified qualities that are needful in nation building i.e. concern for His nation, the world and future generations. He put the interest of His nation and humanity above His personal interest and made the ultimate sacrifice. Those of us who are Christians will recall that Jesus did ask us to follow His example and likewise consider the interest of others and our society. So, as we celebrate Christmas, this message should not be lost on us. Perhaps we should consider how best we can sacrifice today so that our families, our nation, our offspring and future generations can have a greater tomorrow. Nigeria is currently at a time in her national life where she requires sacrifice from all citizens in order that the wellbeing of future generations will be a thing of certainty not speculation. I assure you that the required sacrifice will start with me. Let our corporate sacrifice be our Christmas gift to future generations. I wish all Nigerians a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance. May God keep you throughout this season and beyond. GEJ
Yeah and blah blah blah blah blah......Anyways the reason I posted this was because of a reply someone made to his status, and I had to LOL well well....
And if this isnt the gayest pic from Uncle Jonny, then I dont know what is :(
I remember when he opened a Facebook account, plenty Naija peeps been dey very happy, cos they felt we now have a happening Presido wey dey use technology dey communicate with im people. As in ehn, I sure say some people even been dey feel say one day, dem go get opportunity to even chat with uncle Jonny for online. At then, anything wey Uncle Jonny talk for im status, everybody go just dey “like” the status up and down, dey praise the guy like say im dash everybody for Naija N1 milla, or im don provide 24/7/ electricity. But for the past few months, guyzes don dey vex for Uncle Jonny due to his incapability of handling certain sensitive issues, especially when it comes to the security in the nation. Cos as far as I dey concern, our security dey very very naked and cold. So this has resulted to a lot of people getting so pissed off at him. And the whole fuel subsidy thingy didn’t even help issues. So these days, whenever our beloved presido updates his status, instead of seeing all the praise, na so so vexation comments go just full everywhere……as in PEOPLE DEY VEX EHH…..nothing just seems to work in the country, and someone def needs to be held accountable you know. And who else but the head nukka in charge, Uncle Jonny
Anyways so as usual my guy posted this yesterday:
As we celebrate the brith of Jesus Christ this Christmas season, I want us all to pause for a while and consider what we are celebrating. We are celebrating the birth of Jesus and the commencement of His life of self sacrifice. Upon a further examination of the life of Jesus, we see that His life exemplified qualities that are needful in nation building i.e. concern for His nation, the world and future generations. He put the interest of His nation and humanity above His personal interest and made the ultimate sacrifice. Those of us who are Christians will recall that Jesus did ask us to follow His example and likewise consider the interest of others and our society. So, as we celebrate Christmas, this message should not be lost on us. Perhaps we should consider how best we can sacrifice today so that our families, our nation, our offspring and future generations can have a greater tomorrow. Nigeria is currently at a time in her national life where she requires sacrifice from all citizens in order that the wellbeing of future generations will be a thing of certainty not speculation. I assure you that the required sacrifice will start with me. Let our corporate sacrifice be our Christmas gift to future generations. I wish all Nigerians a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in advance. May God keep you throughout this season and beyond. GEJ
Yeah and blah blah blah blah blah......Anyways the reason I posted this was because of a reply someone made to his status, and I had to LOL well well....
"You have lost the mandate to rule, please if you cannot overhaul your security apparatus,then just resign! we can be slaughtered every day like xmas turkey and u r speaking english."
HA HA BOYS ARE VEXING EHH......LOL......Naija peeps get bad mouth???!!!! lol. And if this isnt the gayest pic from Uncle Jonny, then I dont know what is :(
WHY I HAVE BEEN M.I.A.........HA HA
Okay so here is the full detail/truth of why I have not been blogging often as before. Una don ready for this tory? Oya lets go thia.
So like about 3 weeks ago, there was this whole spam thingy that was spreading on facebook (I'm sure everyone of us encountered it somehow) and you see a lot of very nasty, and sometimes grusome pictures being posted on facebook. It was really bad and at a point I even come dey think say facebook don enter partnership with xvideos or Bangbros (thumbs up for those of you that know one of those sites..ha ha)
Yeah so one day as I opened my facebook at work (yeah i used to browse during work period...afterall no be only me dey do am jare) and someone sent me this very ridiculous picture of a guy’s pee-pee being covered with metal, and a padlock on it. As in the picture was so funny that I had to save it on my computer in order to blog about it later. Okay so here na where the whole f**k up begin. You see, whenever people send me pictures, or whenever I see any interesting pic that I would like to blog about, I usually download them and save it into my usb hard drive, then delete it from the computer (since na my office computer nahh). When I get home, I can then do the postings.
But this time when I saw this crazy picture, I saved it on my desktop, and was going to later transfer it to my usb drive by the end of the day. Unfortunately before the day was over, I had an emergency call from home, so I told my oga, and he let me leave early. So na im I immediately took my jacket and vamoosed out of the office like flash....and forgot to shut down my computer :(
So the next day when I been come office, I went to tell my boss how everything went…and when I was about to leave his office, na im my guy just call me "umm Alex please can you have a seat cos there's smth I would like to discuss with you about." Inside my mind I just dey ask myself "Chai wetin happen now ehh…wetin I don do ohh?" Then my guy come tell me "There was something very disturbing that we found on your computer and......" Immediately the man just talk that first sentence, inside me I was already saying "Chai my own don finish today ohh. God abeg come and take special intervention right now before this people decide to pursue me commot here." (you know say na when we enter serious quanta wey we go just remember God sharp well..ha ha how sad) Infact under that short period of time the man been dey talk to me, I no even been hear most of wetin im been dey talk cos my mind just been dey think of plenty things...and I been dey pray make God help me make I no break this man head for hia if he decides to give me the "Donald Trump finishing move"
Anyways, so after im talk finish, na im I come explain to am say na my fault, and that pic was there cos I run a blog and wanted to post it on my blog.....yes ohh, i had to explain that to him, before my guy go come dey think say I be one of those people wey dey addicted to all dem fetish, nasty and weird type of porn dem. (cos that pic was really disturbing shaa...I no go lie).
If no be say the man like me ehhn (because of my crazy and funny self), dem for don pursue me right there. Even the guy been use im mouth tell me self. So later that day, they now printed out a "company computer and telecom policy agreement" and made all the employees to sign it. And it clearly stated that any employee wey use the office computer or phone for a non-related business use, will be told bye bye :)
So since then ehhn, even to even use google (which we can legally use to search for addresses and certain ambiguous words) dey fear me die...ha ha ...i just dey do things jeje since then. I go enter work from 9am-5pm, and person no fit even check im mail...which is so frustrating cos come on, lets face it, every employee do use their work computers for non-work related stuff often during work time. Even some of my co-workers dey vex for me cos I don spoil their show too....I no blame them shaa..me too dey vex for myself, cos this na actually the first time for my whole 27 yrs wey i don become scape-goat, and ITS NOT KOOOL!!! Sometimes I go just dey ask myself "why I forget to turn off this computer nah? Why I come f**k up big time like this sef?" ...he he
Anyways so that’s the reason why I haven’t been blogging lately....and by the time I finish work for the day, me reaching house na usually around 7 or 8pm...and by then I don tire...and that no be time wey I go dey talk about blogging nah. And besides, I gotta spend time with the fam u know ;) .......and even when weekend reach, I no even get time cos I gotta catch up with all the activities and paroles wey dey go on.
But anyhow anyhow....BOYS MUST ALWAYS FIND A WAY EHH.....
So after all the emails from some "nawa4u" members, asking me why I never post anything since, or if I dey alive so...lol...I was so touched by the emails cos it made me see how much most of you guys appreciate this crazy blog of mine. And that’s why I'm back and I'm very very gingered. I'll be posting twice every week this time around. Make I no lie, i missed blogging too shaa.
As usual, nothing does you, me, us, them, they, their, those...ha ha...Merry Christmas to you all in advance, and God bless Naija/Africa.
So like about 3 weeks ago, there was this whole spam thingy that was spreading on facebook (I'm sure everyone of us encountered it somehow) and you see a lot of very nasty, and sometimes grusome pictures being posted on facebook. It was really bad and at a point I even come dey think say facebook don enter partnership with xvideos or Bangbros (thumbs up for those of you that know one of those sites..ha ha)
Yeah so one day as I opened my facebook at work (yeah i used to browse during work period...afterall no be only me dey do am jare) and someone sent me this very ridiculous picture of a guy’s pee-pee being covered with metal, and a padlock on it. As in the picture was so funny that I had to save it on my computer in order to blog about it later. Okay so here na where the whole f**k up begin. You see, whenever people send me pictures, or whenever I see any interesting pic that I would like to blog about, I usually download them and save it into my usb hard drive, then delete it from the computer (since na my office computer nahh). When I get home, I can then do the postings.
But this time when I saw this crazy picture, I saved it on my desktop, and was going to later transfer it to my usb drive by the end of the day. Unfortunately before the day was over, I had an emergency call from home, so I told my oga, and he let me leave early. So na im I immediately took my jacket and vamoosed out of the office like flash....and forgot to shut down my computer :(
So the next day when I been come office, I went to tell my boss how everything went…and when I was about to leave his office, na im my guy just call me "umm Alex please can you have a seat cos there's smth I would like to discuss with you about." Inside my mind I just dey ask myself "Chai wetin happen now ehh…wetin I don do ohh?" Then my guy come tell me "There was something very disturbing that we found on your computer and......" Immediately the man just talk that first sentence, inside me I was already saying "Chai my own don finish today ohh. God abeg come and take special intervention right now before this people decide to pursue me commot here." (you know say na when we enter serious quanta wey we go just remember God sharp well..ha ha how sad) Infact under that short period of time the man been dey talk to me, I no even been hear most of wetin im been dey talk cos my mind just been dey think of plenty things...and I been dey pray make God help me make I no break this man head for hia if he decides to give me the "Donald Trump finishing move"
Anyways, so after im talk finish, na im I come explain to am say na my fault, and that pic was there cos I run a blog and wanted to post it on my blog.....yes ohh, i had to explain that to him, before my guy go come dey think say I be one of those people wey dey addicted to all dem fetish, nasty and weird type of porn dem. (cos that pic was really disturbing shaa...I no go lie).
If no be say the man like me ehhn (because of my crazy and funny self), dem for don pursue me right there. Even the guy been use im mouth tell me self. So later that day, they now printed out a "company computer and telecom policy agreement" and made all the employees to sign it. And it clearly stated that any employee wey use the office computer or phone for a non-related business use, will be told bye bye :)
So since then ehhn, even to even use google (which we can legally use to search for addresses and certain ambiguous words) dey fear me die...ha ha ...i just dey do things jeje since then. I go enter work from 9am-5pm, and person no fit even check im mail...which is so frustrating cos come on, lets face it, every employee do use their work computers for non-work related stuff often during work time. Even some of my co-workers dey vex for me cos I don spoil their show too....I no blame them shaa..me too dey vex for myself, cos this na actually the first time for my whole 27 yrs wey i don become scape-goat, and ITS NOT KOOOL!!! Sometimes I go just dey ask myself "why I forget to turn off this computer nah? Why I come f**k up big time like this sef?" ...he he
Anyways so that’s the reason why I haven’t been blogging lately....and by the time I finish work for the day, me reaching house na usually around 7 or 8pm...and by then I don tire...and that no be time wey I go dey talk about blogging nah. And besides, I gotta spend time with the fam u know ;) .......and even when weekend reach, I no even get time cos I gotta catch up with all the activities and paroles wey dey go on.
But anyhow anyhow....BOYS MUST ALWAYS FIND A WAY EHH.....
So after all the emails from some "nawa4u" members, asking me why I never post anything since, or if I dey alive so...lol...I was so touched by the emails cos it made me see how much most of you guys appreciate this crazy blog of mine. And that’s why I'm back and I'm very very gingered. I'll be posting twice every week this time around. Make I no lie, i missed blogging too shaa.
As usual, nothing does you, me, us, them, they, their, those...ha ha...Merry Christmas to you all in advance, and God bless Naija/Africa.
WHAT PEOPLE WILL DO FOR MONEY
This happened in PH a couple of days back. People trying to go deposit a huge amount of cash in a bank, and all of a sudden armed robbers go just corner you for somewhere, and its a wrap!!!
What i'm just trying to say is that everybody's life is in danger in Naija, regardless of your status. Okay let’s look at it this way: If you get money, then you better believe that there are some people out there that would want to rob your a**, and even eliminate you at the end. If you work in our law enforcement sector, you can be targeted or set up at any point in time…and their life is even dey critical danger especially when dem carry that their kpai kpai kpai gun to go fight armed robbers wey their gun dey sound like doo doo doo doo doo doo. And na very special intervention go make you even survive such incident. And even if you be citizen nko, wey no even get money, your life is still in danger.
Imagine you were the driver of this car, trying to go deposit cash in the bank along with the police? Imaging you were the female cashier in the back seat accompanying the driver and police to go deposit una oga money? So this na to show you say we all are in danger in that our beloved country called Naija. As in Human being dey die like chicken on a daily basis for that country......how sad :(
Monday, December 19, 2011
HE'S LOST HIS PEE-PEE....CHIEYAAA
So in Lagos, a father came home and saw a boy screwing his 20 year old daughter. And my guy got so aggravated and he beat the boy black blue. And he felt the beating wasnt enough, so he went ahead to matchette my guy, and finally used the same matchette and cut of my guys middle leg :(
But what we dont know is actually what happened though. Who knows maybe if the guy was really raping her, or maybe fear been catch her as her pupsi been see them, and she decided to save herself from trouble by saying that the guy been dey rape am?
Ogunbanwo was alleged to have sneaked into Akpati’s home when the victim was alone and forcefully Were Intimate with her. The father allegedly caught him on top of his protesting daughter.
The girl, it was gathered, was crying and attempting to free herself from him when her father came in. The father was so angry that he reportedly took a machete and cut Ogunbanwo all over his body, including his joystick.
Infact this story dey somehow jare.......Some questions really need to be asked. First of all if the guy been dey try to rape her, why couldnt she scream for help or smth....and they said the guy sneaked into the man's home....mind you dem no talk say the guy been break into the house ohh...or the guy been enter through window....so for him to have sneaked into the house, then no be person wey open door for am? or the guy na winch? nawa ohh.....Infact this girl story no just dey reason well for my brain jare. But if what she's saying is actually true, then na the guy go find trouble nah. Rape is one thing I do not tolerate, and a lot of women Naija are being raped on a daily basis, and no necessary/drastic measures have been taken in order to prevent these babaric act occur, as well as prosecuting these rapists, and putting them behind bars.
The accused was brought to court by the police to face the charges but when the presiding magistrate, Mrs. M. B. Folami, saw the pitiable state of the accused, she ordered the police to arrest the father of the victim (Akpati) and others involved in the battering of the accused and charge them to court for assault.
She explained that under the law, the accused is presumed innocent until found guilty, adding that nobody should be allowed to take the laws in his hands.
LOL LOL.....but yeah the nukka took laws into his own hands shaa. LOL. Umm but wait ohh... "accused is presumed innocent until found guilty" .........for Naija wey we dey so? since when? Cos the last time I checked, it was the other way round :)
At the end of the day, a p***y has been damaged for life (if it was actually a rape shaa) , a d**k was lost. Which kind news be this sef....Abeg my guys need to start controlling themselves juo....What ever happened to hand n' lotion ehhn sef...the safest and easiest way :)
(pmnewsnigeria.com)
AFRICAN PARTY I ATTENDED OVER THE WEEKEND......HA HA
So me, my younger bros, and one of my bad guyzes, Big Mike Aggrey.....we went to this Naija/Ghanain Party somewhere in Brooklyn this weekend. First of all it was like 20 degrees that night I swear. As in the cold no been dey look anybody face ehh. So when we got there, the line was kinda long. But we come dey console ourselves say the line go move quick. After parking and going to join the line, na im my brother come remember say im forget im id card for house. So we had to come up with a plan. I gave him my id card to show the bouncer, and before he went in, he gave it back to me. I had to go stay at the back of the line, so that by the time the bouncer reach my turn, im go don forget say im been see that same id card some mins ago. and Yep, it did work..but the problem now na to enter. I'm sure some of una don go some kind clubs where dem go just dey only allow like 2 people to dey go inside every like 5 mins....and they always going to give an excuse like "there are a lot of people inside, and we waiting for people to leave out, before we let others in." Or "there are a lot of guys, so una go wait outside until babes start to dey come".....as in WTF? So yeah the line was showing no sign of moving, and I was standing in the same spot for over 15, going to 20 mins ohh.....and mind u, the cold wey been dey that night ehhn...infact the cold been get teeth, dey bite person I swear.
And as I dey for line there, I ben dey vex die ehh, and so many things come dey run inside my mind. Things like: Why my brother even forget im id card, and I now have to go through all this for this kind non-friendly weather ke? Or why is it even cold like this in the first place. which kind nonsense be this sef? Or which kind useless club be this wey I come so? Or why am I even here in the first place sef?
No be small thing ohh. Na there you go know say cold fit actually dey get partial contact with person brain sometimes ohh. I'm sure people wey don experience severe winter could attest to what I'm saying.
Anyways after almost turing into an ice block outside, I come finally enter inside......I never even take like 3 steps inside, and behold, EVERYWHERE WAS SMELLING LIKE PUBIC HAIRS......esp the ones wey dem never wash :(
The hall was so big, and the place no even full half way sef. Na im I come dey wonder why in the world did those guys keep us outside that long? And also the fact say dem come dey sell fried rice like 6ft away from the toilet no come even help matters at all. Infact ehn, It was just one of those days that you find yourself in a place where you go start to dey question yourself like "WTF am I doing here?" Damn that place was smelling ehh Its just one of those odors that should be regarded as "illegal". That sh** just messed up my weekend juo. Cos I really dont see why at this stage in life, a certain group of people still no know wetin be deodorant...and if you look well well, na those kind people wey dey like to dance pass everybody...dey open mouth and armpit anyhow :(
And as I dey for line there, I ben dey vex die ehh, and so many things come dey run inside my mind. Things like: Why my brother even forget im id card, and I now have to go through all this for this kind non-friendly weather ke? Or why is it even cold like this in the first place. which kind nonsense be this sef? Or which kind useless club be this wey I come so? Or why am I even here in the first place sef?
No be small thing ohh. Na there you go know say cold fit actually dey get partial contact with person brain sometimes ohh. I'm sure people wey don experience severe winter could attest to what I'm saying.
Anyways after almost turing into an ice block outside, I come finally enter inside......I never even take like 3 steps inside, and behold, EVERYWHERE WAS SMELLING LIKE PUBIC HAIRS......esp the ones wey dem never wash :(
The hall was so big, and the place no even full half way sef. Na im I come dey wonder why in the world did those guys keep us outside that long? And also the fact say dem come dey sell fried rice like 6ft away from the toilet no come even help matters at all. Infact ehn, It was just one of those days that you find yourself in a place where you go start to dey question yourself like "WTF am I doing here?" Damn that place was smelling ehh Its just one of those odors that should be regarded as "illegal". That sh** just messed up my weekend juo. Cos I really dont see why at this stage in life, a certain group of people still no know wetin be deodorant...and if you look well well, na those kind people wey dey like to dance pass everybody...dey open mouth and armpit anyhow :(
NAIJA CHILDREN AND ANAL SEX.......WHATTA!!!??
Not less than 12 percent of public secondary school students in Nigeria practise anal sex while 12.1 per cent of university students and 15.2 per cent adolescents in northern Nigeria engage in the act.
Shoooo.....As in anal sex ke? nawa ohh. You see ehhn, growing up as a little kid in naija now dey very very dangerous ohh. The length at which children dey learn bad bad things these days ehhn..its very alarming. I was so surprised to see say primary school children don dey f**k sef. Which is very very ridiculous. Back in our primary school days, we werent even thinking as far as chooking a girl sef. You see "Tapping current" (the act of having some type of body contact with a girl, and acting like you no know wetin dey happen at the same time) was okay for us, and we were very satisfied with that. I remember those days for class wey when I sitdon with girl, and if our laps just dey touch each other (since na short nicker wey we dey were for school then), I go just dey very excited and aroused,...ha ha. That tapping current was enough for me, and I wasnt even thinking of anything more than that sef. But these days, its seems like tapping current is now for nusery school children...and the primary school children don graduate to chooking. What is this world turing into ehh?
You see here for Yankee, we Naija peeps dey see all these american kids as spoilt. why? Cos most of them start having sex during their teenage age....they even have boyfriends or girlfriends at that age, and their parents are aware of it (ha ha you fit imagine even person wey dey for SS3 for Naija dey go tell im papa say im get girlfriend? im chop krase? ha ha). In a nutshell, most are very open about their sexual activities. And I don notice say we Naija peeps like to dey criticize them pass. But the irony of the whole thing be say the kids in Naija are 100 times worse I swear. Parents dont even know what there kids do when they not around.
And to be honest I think these events will keep on going on due to the type of parent-children relationships we have in Naija. As for me, I don make up my mind say I go dey discuss with my children about everything that has to do with boy girl relationship and sex. This way dem no go dey hide dey do things behind my back. (although the cant sef, cos me be old soldier for all those kind things nah..he he) All those our old a** Naija parents think say na to dey enforce strictness wey go make their children not to do bad bad things...ha ha. Na the more reason why the pikin go wan go try am sef.....esp girls ;)
But this news need to be taken very serious ohh......If to say na just normal sex dem dey talk about, me no for dey surprised nah....But we talking bout anal sex right here...as in chooking in the nyash hole......thats some real disturbing sh** for real....
(nigerian tribune)
VICK.O.........THE GREATEST :)
You see I was one of the first people that was supporting this dude, even when everyone was making fun of him :)
This would have been a great interview, if not for this gial.....where in the world did they find her from. She just dey jabo my own Vick.O up and down. And wetin dey pain me pass sef be say uncle Vick.O just dey im own world. CHAI. See life ehh.
You remember when this guy's video came out, we were all wondering if he was joking, or he was for real. And I'm sure even till today, some people still dey unsure whether this guy really dey serious ehh. But as for me, I don make up my mind say this guy na one very delerious guy, and he sees life totally in a different way from us. This guy na genius in his own way ohh. And we can make fun of him as much as we want, but guess what? My guy still dey get our attention.....whether in a negative or positive way, whatever he's doing to us is working...ha ha
But yeah man, My guy Vick.O don dey go places ohh. Before una know now, one day una go hear say Vick.O dey come perform for New York. Infact that day ehhn, I go personally make sure say I buy front ticket seat. Only if the dude knew I was his number 1 fan :(
My favorite moments:
Hello Vick.O..........Hi :)
I'm not rich but I'm not hungry
I style like 2 pac
There are lot of thousand girls
I swear this guy go live long for us jare :)
Thursday, December 15, 2011
I DON SHOW I DON SHOW......
OKAY OHH MY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE I'M OFFICIALLY BACK FOR REAL THIS TIME AROUND......AND EXPECT MY LATEST CRAZY POSTINGS THIS SATURDAY...........and I'll also confess why I havent been blogging for the past two weeks.....ha ha.
God bless all of us jare :)
Nothing does we Naija/African peeps...."always suffering and smiling" ha ha
God bless all of us jare :)
Nothing does we Naija/African peeps...."always suffering and smiling" ha ha
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
CHAI......I'VE BEEN ABSENT OHH.....I DON DIE!!!!
ABEG ABEG ABEG MY PEOPLE MAKE UNA NO VEX JARE.........I haven't posted anything for almost going to two weeks. So many things have been going on for these past few days, and I've been trying to get some sh** together you know. My people no be small ohh....Infact If I start to dey gist una wetin happen to me ehhn, una no go believe. I actually made a quick surprise visit to Naija, and I was kidnapped over there. If no be say I be correct guyzes ehhn, these people for don use me get christmas money. Infact I go give una the full gist when I resume my postings this week ;)
But yea I promise I'll be back in full force by this thursday shaa.....AND TRUST ME, I GET PLENTY GIST THIS TIME AROUND EHH........Nothing does any of una. Wish you all the best of luck.....AND WATCH OUT FOR MY POSTINGS BY THURSDAY.
But yea I promise I'll be back in full force by this thursday shaa.....AND TRUST ME, I GET PLENTY GIST THIS TIME AROUND EHH........Nothing does any of una. Wish you all the best of luck.....AND WATCH OUT FOR MY POSTINGS BY THURSDAY.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
NAWA OHH...........BOLOMBOLO IN THE MAKING :)
For this my nna bros mind nah, im don take picture with Nnenna Minaj. You see I no just understand some guys ohh. Cos you don see bolombolo, your brain go just dey malfunction anyhow.
After listening to so many different conversations over the past few yrs (and yes I was only listening ohh…I wasn’t contributing abeg..make my wife no come kill me juo...ha ha), im be like say Naija guys don dey like boobs pass nyash ohh. And if care is not taken, boobs go soon give nyash a run for its money…ha ha . Cos these days, na so so boobs wey guys just dey talk about whenever they gisting about women.
But make I no lie, afr
aid go dey catch me to take picture with this my aunty for here ohh. Cos the only thing wey I go dey think for my mind be say something fit just enter the babe head, and na so she go just turn to my direction, then come bite my ear or do something very nasty-scary to me :(
Umm..shooo...oops..looks like someone was using her keg as table platform shaa....Una no dey see something like salt untop am? They were probably using her bolombolo to lick the salt and lime after taking some tequila shots :)
umm but Dayum that’s some big a** boobs for real....Chai, only if the face could go through some major re-adjustments here n' there......then she go make sense wellu wellu.
Umm wait...whatta haeck did I just say? ehhhh..urggghhhhh...nnnaaahhhh.. Okay I take that back...maybe I should have replaced that "wellu wellu" to "somehow" or "kinda"
:)
FINAL OLIVER TWIST COMEDY VIDEO (CARTOON)....HA HA HA
Okay so you guys remember the Oliver twist animation that I posted here some weeks ago. Well the people that made it (AREA) just sent me their latest and last Oliver Twist series. After this one, they will start producing more comedy videos, which should be out in the next few weeks...I cant wait ehh :)
Anyways abeg make una check am out....I watched it, and all i can say is this: VERY FUNNY & CREATIVE. Double Kudos to this AREA people jare.
And also abeg make una check out their facebook page. This way, you will know who they are, and what they do. At least lets all support our fellow Naija peeps with talent and are using it for something positive.
http://www.facebook.com/ajiri.agborua/posts/110134109102012?ref=notif¬if_t=share_comment#!/pages/OurOwnAREA/197667290265388
HE HAS DONE IT AGAIN........
(pic of Uncle Femi with his last baby mummy)
Our Uncle Femi don give another of im dancers belle ehh. If I could recall, he just had a child like some months ago by one of his other dancers. And this is actually the 3rd dancer that he's planting his seed inside. Mehn this guy na very very strong man, and he shall live very very long ohh..he he. Just to let you guys know, our Uncle Femi already has 5 kids from 4 different women. Three of the ladies each have one, except for the igbo woman amongst them, Munachi, who has two kids for him (ha ha i guess that igbo punani got ma dude whipped…wont be surprised if the babe from Owerri or Enugu..ha ha ). And now this new one now go make am 6 children from 5 different women.
Anyways, as I said earlier, this man na really strong man, and im be like say my guy dey try beat im own pupsi record (although I dont even see that happening, but you never know..ha ha ) This is pretty interesting ohh....This na to remind una say elephant no dey born monkey ehh...like papa like pikin :)
Well I have nothing much to say, but to hail our Uncle Femi. Everyone has his own life to live, and my guy is definitely living it up jare. As long as money dey, nothing dey happen ehh. But my only problem be say it looks like he didnt learn anything from his father’s death shaa. What happened to protecting yourself with a rubber?
Ummm but wait a minute......No be this same guy wey been dey promote condom at some point back in da days for Naija? I guess someone has been saying one thing and doing another.
Anyways Femi nothing does you juo :)
Anyways RIP Fela....the greatest man to ever come out of Nigeria (in my own perspective shaa)
Our Uncle Femi don give another of im dancers belle ehh. If I could recall, he just had a child like some months ago by one of his other dancers. And this is actually the 3rd dancer that he's planting his seed inside. Mehn this guy na very very strong man, and he shall live very very long ohh..he he. Just to let you guys know, our Uncle Femi already has 5 kids from 4 different women. Three of the ladies each have one, except for the igbo woman amongst them, Munachi, who has two kids for him (ha ha i guess that igbo punani got ma dude whipped…wont be surprised if the babe from Owerri or Enugu..ha ha ). And now this new one now go make am 6 children from 5 different women.
Anyways, as I said earlier, this man na really strong man, and im be like say my guy dey try beat im own pupsi record (although I dont even see that happening, but you never know..ha ha ) This is pretty interesting ohh....This na to remind una say elephant no dey born monkey ehh...like papa like pikin :)
Well I have nothing much to say, but to hail our Uncle Femi. Everyone has his own life to live, and my guy is definitely living it up jare. As long as money dey, nothing dey happen ehh. But my only problem be say it looks like he didnt learn anything from his father’s death shaa. What happened to protecting yourself with a rubber?
Ummm but wait a minute......No be this same guy wey been dey promote condom at some point back in da days for Naija? I guess someone has been saying one thing and doing another.
Anyways Femi nothing does you juo :)
Anyways RIP Fela....the greatest man to ever come out of Nigeria (in my own perspective shaa)
THE PIC SAYS IT ALL........
Looking at this picture alone, you no even need agbara Okija to tell you say something inappropriate dey happen inside that room, and these kids are up to no good too :)
Either dem dey watch one of their guyzes doing bad thing with one girl (make I talk like small pikin..ha ha ), or dem dey watch one naked girl sleeping....Or each person dey wait for their own set :)
This na one of those things wey most boyz suppose don experience somehow during our teenage period (and if you didnt, then sorry for you...cos ur time don pass) ha ha . I remember when I was like 14yrs or so, and I used to go to our boys quarters to go and watch our drivers acting yellow film. I been dey always look through the keyhole, and although I couldn’t see everything through that little hole…but hey, half bread is better than chim-chim ehh. But mehn this life ehhn...its just funny to remember how curious we were during our teenage age. Those days, to watch all those bad bad things go dey sweet us for body anyhow (whether on TV or live), but our only handicap be say we didnt really have access to the right resources you know. Except for some cable channels wey been dey try small during that period (shout out to all my people that used to watch Bravo channel for night back in da days) ha ha. And even when we did have access, somehow somehow there will be an older person (uncle, aunt, guardian, papa, mama, bros sis, nanny) for house wey go just kill our moral finish. And inside my mind, I'll be like "ohhhhhh make this guy commot here nah make I watch this yellow film with ease and happiness" :)
Oya ohh, Back to what I was saying. So even if I guessed wrong about what these guyzes are looking at, well one thing I know for sure for sure be say whatever they are looking at must be something very very interesting and intense too....and definitely something they are not supposed to be looking at. Even sotey dem don dey even touch each other for bodi sef....Nawa ohh.
And there's no way you can tell me that these boys aren’t up to something fishy...if not, person no for take this picture in the first place. And also looking at the scenario, you can see say na batcher house....and we all suppose know by now say nothing holy dey ever happen inside batcher house ;)
Thursday, November 17, 2011
MINISTER OF INFORMATION KE!!.......WHERE DID THEY FIND THIS A**HOLE?????
Labaran Maku, the Minister of Information, has expressed concern over the increase in the number of social media in the country. Mr. Maku made the observation on Tuesday in Benin City during the meeting of members of the Nigeria Union of Journalist (NUJ) Constitutional Review Committee.
Represented by Kingsley Osadolor, a legal practitioner, Mr. Maku said the rise of social media in the country was a phenomenon that needed to be addressed as part of the constitutional amendment or in the nearest future. He said the revolution that was taking place in Egypt, Syria, Libya and other Arab states was as a result of the reports dished out by the social media.
Mr. Maku warned that the increase in the number social media might result in some traditional journalists losing their jobs.
``What business should the social media have with the NUJ? That is an important phenomenon that needs to be considered,'' he said.
Umm... I think this has to be one of the dumbest comments ever made by any Naija Minister...especially when you are a Minister of Information for that matter.
So my question is this: "How the hell did this pant become an information minster???? You see this is what happens when you give people positions which they have no experience whatsoever in. Only in Naija you will see a medical doctor being appointed as a Minister of finance, or an accountant being appointed as a minister of health...how the heck does these things relate to each other for freaking goodness sake? Majority of these ministers are given positions that are not related to their field in any way. Just beacuse you want to put your person in the system doesnt mean you should give them any sensitive position, which they have no idea/experience in. This is one of the reasons sh** doesn’t work in that country.
For a whole Minister of Information to come out and say such fuckery...that’s just Ludacris for real. Or this tout no know say na actually im Oga, uncle Johny, wey dey even use social media pass us self. Everytime my guy dey for Facebook laying out one agenda/economic policies or the other. I remember that first time when our lovely uncle Johny opened a facebook account and started putting up positive and optimistic status, everybody go just dey hail am, and praising him for his ideas and plans to make Nigeria great once again. But since people have realized that he's all "talk and no action," na so guyz don dey vex nah. These days whenever he puts up a status, na so people go dey curse am from left right center. Well Uncle Goody, I guess you cannot blame us for all the negative comments on your facebook status shey? Cos no be motivational speech wey we go chop. We need actions jare.
And this fool dey there dey talk about NUJ (Naija union of Journalists)...I never even knew that body still existed sef. The last time I even heard name was probably in my social studies class in primary school. Well I'm guessing afraid don dey catch these our so called leaders cos they know say one day one day, we Naija people will come out and say "enough is enough." (I dont know when that day will come shaa). You see I was a huge fan of Uncle Johny and I believe he was the chosen one that will change Nigeria for good. But I'm beginning to change my mind small small. So far, there have been no major changes since he entered office, instead things are even getting worse in our beloved country. And the fact that he has surrounded himself with stack illiterates like this one right here, doesn’t even help matters.
Minister of Information ni!!....what a douchebag.....smchew :)
(234next.com)
BEFORE AND AFTER......WETIN UNA THINK???
So this Nollywood actress Rukky Sanda (I've never even heard of this chick till today sef) underwent a plastic surgery....and she went on to twitter to defend herself about her decision.
Okay so before I used to be against people doing plastic surgery, implants, lipo and every other surgeries in order to make them look good and appreciate their body. I remember me and my wife used to argue about this topic. But over the years, I've changed my opinion and decided not to judge people. Yes we should all be happy with the way God made every one of us, but at the same time, I now feel there's nothing wrong in trying to correct a particular part of your body, especially if it's something that makes you feel uncomfortable with the way you look. Lets be for real here, I'm sure most of us have one particular part of our body that we would change, if we were given the opportunity to do so. I feel one of the worst things that can happen to anyone is not being comfortable with your own body/looks, which inturn, makes you always self conscious and inferior (esp when you surrounded by correct guyzes and girlzes). So if you have the money to correct that particular flaw of yours, then why not nah? Or will you continue to remain self conscious and mad at your body/looks for the rest of your life? for wetin nah. If you not happy with yourself, then I wonder what you gonna be happy about then. As for me, if to say I get one particular part of my body that I dont like, I go change that thing if I get money...but unfortunately I dont. So thankGod I dont have to deal with such problem..he he
Well back to what I was saying.....So this was what she recently posted on her twitter account. (And speaking of twitter account, I'll soon be opening one ohh....thanks to all the pressure from my friends. So I'll let you guys know when I open one...and abeg make una follow me. This way you will be getting the latest stuff about all the crazy sh** that be going through this my brain on a daily basis)
Umm okay ohh aunty Rukky take am easy...nobody dey fight you nah. Yes I totally support what you saying. But in my own perspective, I believe it only becomes a sin when:
AFTER A PLASTIC SURGERY , YOU COME OUT LOOKING MORE LIKE A POTENTIAL BAD GUY FOR A HORROR/SCI-FI MOVIE." Now thats from fryingpan2fire. ha ha
This is my advice to my people who are thinking of doing some type of surgery in the future: If you cannot afford a reputable/experienced plastic surgeon, then fogerrrrit. Cos you dont wonna come out of that operating room loooking like our aunty Rukky. You dont wonna have that reaction when they give you a mirror to look at your new self, and immediately inside your mind, you gonna be like WHAATTAA F**K??. But at the same time you go dey console your self, saying "Its not bad shaa." And you try to convince or force yourself to like it. But you know deep deep deep inside your mind, you still saying WTF DID I JUST DO?!!... ha ha. I'm sure we've all had this type of "consoling ourselves" experience before in various incidents. I usually get this mostly when I get a haircut that I dont like. ha ha
Anyways I felt she was a very fine chick before the surgery. Dont you guys think so? But now, I think she's more of a beautiful man..ooops sorry I mean she-male, after the surgery :)
Aunty Rukky abeg no mind wetin these haters dey talk. Carry go. Nothing do you and your plastic face jare.
MY PARTY PICS...YEAH THATS HOW I ROLL!!!
Yeah so remember last month I told you guys I was going to throw a big birthday party for me and my wife, and I was going to post the pics here later. Well, I was hoping to capture some great moments during the party, but unfortunately I was too high and tipsy to even know where my camera was...ha ha I just luv me eh. So these are some of the few pictures which my wife took with here iphone (yeah iphone is the sh** and I hope to get one sometime when I grow up. f**k BB ..ha ha)
Anyways the party was so much fun. I had over 100 people show up. ThankGod I have a loft apartment which was able to accomodate all that amount of people. One of my celebrity neighbors brought some of his celebrity friends who were actors...We had two DJs, and I gave them some of the latest Naija songs to play during the party, and they were loving the songs. Sotey one of the Dj's came up to me and told me to download all my Naija songs from my laptop for him, cos that was the first time he was hearing Nigerian music, and he was going crazy over our songs. Shekpe just full everywhere and people just dey shayo dey go. both guyzes and girlzes ohh. I even set up my two big hookahs, and people were just smoking that thing like say tomorrow no dey. Infact at a point I dont think there was any sober person in the building (except my wife I believe). Almost everyone was intoxicated...and una already know what comes next after drinking a lot shey.....Horniness/Hunger :) Yeah thats right...cos according to my law, the more you drink, the hornier/hungrier you get ;) A lot of people began to show their true colors when that alcohol began to kick in their system. Boyz their eyes just dey red anyhow where dem dey find woman. Even the women too their eye come dey show green light too. But yeah its just crazy to see wetin alcohol fit do person eh. That sh** can make you become the boldest nukka in town eh...ha ha
At the end of the day, It was such a great party, and everyone started telling me to throw another one for the new years eve. Na im I just dey laugh inside my mind dey talk "this people think say na to dey throw party wey I come do for obodo onyibo shey? When I never find money wey I go even use buy ticket to go Naija, then na to throw another party in less then 3 months shey?" We Naija people too like grooving jare. Even some of my foreign friends came up to me and where like "Damn you guys know how to party for real." HA HA. You gotta love us ehh!!
Anyways click below to see the pics....nothing does any of una jare (yeah and thats me after the party with my own personal cake...yeah I'm greedy like that)
Anyways the party was so much fun. I had over 100 people show up. ThankGod I have a loft apartment which was able to accomodate all that amount of people. One of my celebrity neighbors brought some of his celebrity friends who were actors...We had two DJs, and I gave them some of the latest Naija songs to play during the party, and they were loving the songs. Sotey one of the Dj's came up to me and told me to download all my Naija songs from my laptop for him, cos that was the first time he was hearing Nigerian music, and he was going crazy over our songs. Shekpe just full everywhere and people just dey shayo dey go. both guyzes and girlzes ohh. I even set up my two big hookahs, and people were just smoking that thing like say tomorrow no dey. Infact at a point I dont think there was any sober person in the building (except my wife I believe). Almost everyone was intoxicated...and una already know what comes next after drinking a lot shey.....Horniness/Hunger :) Yeah thats right...cos according to my law, the more you drink, the hornier/hungrier you get ;) A lot of people began to show their true colors when that alcohol began to kick in their system. Boyz their eyes just dey red anyhow where dem dey find woman. Even the women too their eye come dey show green light too. But yeah its just crazy to see wetin alcohol fit do person eh. That sh** can make you become the boldest nukka in town eh...ha ha
At the end of the day, It was such a great party, and everyone started telling me to throw another one for the new years eve. Na im I just dey laugh inside my mind dey talk "this people think say na to dey throw party wey I come do for obodo onyibo shey? When I never find money wey I go even use buy ticket to go Naija, then na to throw another party in less then 3 months shey?" We Naija people too like grooving jare. Even some of my foreign friends came up to me and where like "Damn you guys know how to party for real." HA HA. You gotta love us ehh!!
Anyways click below to see the pics....nothing does any of una jare (yeah and thats me after the party with my own personal cake...yeah I'm greedy like that)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
MUST READ...VERY VERY TRUE!!!
I just saw this post online, and I found it very interesting and worth reading. This is because its pretty much sums up everything that I always say, when it comes to Obodo Onyibo. This is definitely something that we Naija peeps should read (esp those ones trying to come down here) Anyways enjoy :)
Are you thinking of migrating to the United States?
Written by Sabella Ogbobode Abidde
Whether you believe in the Biblical account or in the evolutionary theory of creation, humans have always migrated. In other words, migration has always been part of the human experience. Migration can be internal or across borders. Over time, we have seen several migration patterns. In Africa for instance, there was the Bantu migration; and in Europe, there was the Serb and the Irish migrations, including the German’s eastward expansion that is generally referred to as the Ostsiedlung Migration. In the United States, there was, between 1910 and 1970, the exodus of African-Americans out of the Southern Belt to other regions of the country.
And why do people migrate? Well, there are several sociological theories that attempt to explain migration. Nonetheless, there are two basic hypotheses that explain this phenomenon: the pull and push factors of migration. Simplified, the pull theory says there are factors abroad that pull people to leave their homeland, i.e. uniting with spouse or other family members, and also, the prospect of economic and social opportunities abroad. On the other spectrum are the push factors, i.e. escape from political and other forms of persecution, ecological disasters, wars and searing poverty at home.
In more recent times – and especially in the case of Nigeria – people migrate because of the shrinking political and economic space; and also because of the searing poverty and the wanton lack of government services that have come to characterise Nigeria. In the last three decades, at least, Nigeria has become a very difficult place for the young, the restless, and the enterprising to realise their goals and ambition. At the very least, the cost of realising such goals and ambition gets exorbitant and frustrating every passing year. Why, the argument goes, would any sane person want to remain in a country that stifles dreams and ingenuity? You remain, it seems, only if you want your life and your talent, wasted.
Between 1950 and 1980 or thereabout, the most popular destination for Nigerians wishing to migrate outside of the African continent was the United Kingdom. There are several reasons for this; but the most obvious reason was Nigeria’s colonial ties with Great Britain. And within the West African-sub region, it was Ghana. Again colonial linkage comes to play. Even today, it is reasonable to say that Ghana is the preferred destination for Nigerians who seek refuge abroad. Outside of the continent, however, the United States of America seems to have replaced Britain. There are several reasons for this. However, the most obvious is the fact that the US offers more economic, political and social opportunities.
There are historical documents to show that for centuries people have been flocking to the US to seek sanctuary. Others came in search of a better life. In all, there have been four waves of migration: from 1600 or thereabout until 1820; the second wave began in the 1820s through the 1870s. But, the heaviest period of migration was from the 1880s through the 1920s when an estimated 25 million immigrants made the US their home. The fourth wave began in 1965. In the case of Nigerians, it is safe to say that the migration, in very high numbers, began in the 1980s. And it hasn’t abated.
In spite of the allure of the US, life is not as rosy and as smooth as prospective immigrants think. That is to say that life in America is not as is sometimes portrayed to those Nigerians who dream of crossing the oceans, or the Sahara Desert, to this part of the world. There are two Americas. For a good number of Nigerians, life in America can be tough; it can inflict both physical and mental pain. For many of us, it can be disorienting. It weighs on the soul and saps ones energies. It is neither a painting nor a picture; but more like a series of never-ending nightmares. For the lazy, the unlucky or the unrealistic ones, life in America can be likened to a whirlwind of shattered dreams or unmet expectations. For these unfortunate ones, life in America can become a source of sadness, deep-seated anger and mental depression.
On the other continuum is the second America: a land of inexhaustible opportunities. It is indeed the land for those who are daring and have the courage to extend frontiers. It is the land that rewards those who work hard and smart. It is the land that rewards those who persevere and keep going even when they fail. It is the land of law and order, of those who believe in due process. America is the land of God and gods, a land for the believers and non-believers. It is the land of dream merchants, of fabulists, tale-spinners; and of the high and low achievers. It is also the land of pipedreams, broken dreams and untold anguishes.
From my own vantaged point, there are four types of Nigerians here: those who are truly living the American Dream; and the middle incomers who live a steady but banal lifestyle. But the vast majority of Nigerians live almost on the margins: no extra disposable income, no fat bank account or investment portfolios, and no annual vacation to top tourist destinations. But for the grace of extra income, they’d fall off the slope. And finally, there are those Nigerians, for whom life can be cruel.
When very many Nigerians come home on their periodic visits, they do so, in many cases, after several months and/or years of financial planning. They have to because they have bills to pay. And in the 2-4 weeks they spend in Nigeria, they have to be sure they do not overspend, otherwise, they’d go broke. And you never ever want to be broke in Nigeria (if you are visiting from America). Not quite a secret but let me tell you: Most Nigerians I know would rather return home permanently. But many can’t. Others won’t. In the minds of many, how to contend with uncertainties of electricity, potable water, fetid environmental conditions, armed robbers and many other deficits, is the nagging question. For instance, many know that dogs and cats in rural Alabama receive better medical care than most human beings in Nigeria.
And so, as you plan and prepare to migrate, you must critically and carefully weigh all your options. Do you want to leave the familiar for the unknown? Do you really want to? There are several great things about America, i.e. security and the availability of human needs (water, education, healthcare, food, etc). But are you ready to live in a country that can be lonely and individualistic? There are many things the average Nigerian values, but he or she will not find those things in the US. And are you ready to leave all that you know and love and cherish to start life all over again? Frankly, if you have attained certain status, it might not be wise to migrate. Just visit, if you can.
May I also say that if you have very low tolerance for failures and mistakes, it might not be wise for you to migrate. If you think the world owes you, or have low tolerance for abuse and disappointments, you might as well not migrate. In the end though, nothing I or anyone else says matters. The decision to migrate – to engage in a journey that can be unpredictable – is basically yours. We all must go in search of our dreams. For some of us, our dreams lie at home; but for others, it can only be found overseas. At home or abroad…good luck!
Are you thinking of migrating to the United States?
Written by Sabella Ogbobode Abidde
Whether you believe in the Biblical account or in the evolutionary theory of creation, humans have always migrated. In other words, migration has always been part of the human experience. Migration can be internal or across borders. Over time, we have seen several migration patterns. In Africa for instance, there was the Bantu migration; and in Europe, there was the Serb and the Irish migrations, including the German’s eastward expansion that is generally referred to as the Ostsiedlung Migration. In the United States, there was, between 1910 and 1970, the exodus of African-Americans out of the Southern Belt to other regions of the country.
And why do people migrate? Well, there are several sociological theories that attempt to explain migration. Nonetheless, there are two basic hypotheses that explain this phenomenon: the pull and push factors of migration. Simplified, the pull theory says there are factors abroad that pull people to leave their homeland, i.e. uniting with spouse or other family members, and also, the prospect of economic and social opportunities abroad. On the other spectrum are the push factors, i.e. escape from political and other forms of persecution, ecological disasters, wars and searing poverty at home.
In more recent times – and especially in the case of Nigeria – people migrate because of the shrinking political and economic space; and also because of the searing poverty and the wanton lack of government services that have come to characterise Nigeria. In the last three decades, at least, Nigeria has become a very difficult place for the young, the restless, and the enterprising to realise their goals and ambition. At the very least, the cost of realising such goals and ambition gets exorbitant and frustrating every passing year. Why, the argument goes, would any sane person want to remain in a country that stifles dreams and ingenuity? You remain, it seems, only if you want your life and your talent, wasted.
Between 1950 and 1980 or thereabout, the most popular destination for Nigerians wishing to migrate outside of the African continent was the United Kingdom. There are several reasons for this; but the most obvious reason was Nigeria’s colonial ties with Great Britain. And within the West African-sub region, it was Ghana. Again colonial linkage comes to play. Even today, it is reasonable to say that Ghana is the preferred destination for Nigerians who seek refuge abroad. Outside of the continent, however, the United States of America seems to have replaced Britain. There are several reasons for this. However, the most obvious is the fact that the US offers more economic, political and social opportunities.
There are historical documents to show that for centuries people have been flocking to the US to seek sanctuary. Others came in search of a better life. In all, there have been four waves of migration: from 1600 or thereabout until 1820; the second wave began in the 1820s through the 1870s. But, the heaviest period of migration was from the 1880s through the 1920s when an estimated 25 million immigrants made the US their home. The fourth wave began in 1965. In the case of Nigerians, it is safe to say that the migration, in very high numbers, began in the 1980s. And it hasn’t abated.
In spite of the allure of the US, life is not as rosy and as smooth as prospective immigrants think. That is to say that life in America is not as is sometimes portrayed to those Nigerians who dream of crossing the oceans, or the Sahara Desert, to this part of the world. There are two Americas. For a good number of Nigerians, life in America can be tough; it can inflict both physical and mental pain. For many of us, it can be disorienting. It weighs on the soul and saps ones energies. It is neither a painting nor a picture; but more like a series of never-ending nightmares. For the lazy, the unlucky or the unrealistic ones, life in America can be likened to a whirlwind of shattered dreams or unmet expectations. For these unfortunate ones, life in America can become a source of sadness, deep-seated anger and mental depression.
On the other continuum is the second America: a land of inexhaustible opportunities. It is indeed the land for those who are daring and have the courage to extend frontiers. It is the land that rewards those who work hard and smart. It is the land that rewards those who persevere and keep going even when they fail. It is the land of law and order, of those who believe in due process. America is the land of God and gods, a land for the believers and non-believers. It is the land of dream merchants, of fabulists, tale-spinners; and of the high and low achievers. It is also the land of pipedreams, broken dreams and untold anguishes.
From my own vantaged point, there are four types of Nigerians here: those who are truly living the American Dream; and the middle incomers who live a steady but banal lifestyle. But the vast majority of Nigerians live almost on the margins: no extra disposable income, no fat bank account or investment portfolios, and no annual vacation to top tourist destinations. But for the grace of extra income, they’d fall off the slope. And finally, there are those Nigerians, for whom life can be cruel.
When very many Nigerians come home on their periodic visits, they do so, in many cases, after several months and/or years of financial planning. They have to because they have bills to pay. And in the 2-4 weeks they spend in Nigeria, they have to be sure they do not overspend, otherwise, they’d go broke. And you never ever want to be broke in Nigeria (if you are visiting from America). Not quite a secret but let me tell you: Most Nigerians I know would rather return home permanently. But many can’t. Others won’t. In the minds of many, how to contend with uncertainties of electricity, potable water, fetid environmental conditions, armed robbers and many other deficits, is the nagging question. For instance, many know that dogs and cats in rural Alabama receive better medical care than most human beings in Nigeria.
And so, as you plan and prepare to migrate, you must critically and carefully weigh all your options. Do you want to leave the familiar for the unknown? Do you really want to? There are several great things about America, i.e. security and the availability of human needs (water, education, healthcare, food, etc). But are you ready to live in a country that can be lonely and individualistic? There are many things the average Nigerian values, but he or she will not find those things in the US. And are you ready to leave all that you know and love and cherish to start life all over again? Frankly, if you have attained certain status, it might not be wise to migrate. Just visit, if you can.
May I also say that if you have very low tolerance for failures and mistakes, it might not be wise for you to migrate. If you think the world owes you, or have low tolerance for abuse and disappointments, you might as well not migrate. In the end though, nothing I or anyone else says matters. The decision to migrate – to engage in a journey that can be unpredictable – is basically yours. We all must go in search of our dreams. For some of us, our dreams lie at home; but for others, it can only be found overseas. At home or abroad…good luck!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
OH YES....I BELIEVE SHE DID IT........HA HA
A 51 year old Nigerian-born UK resident nurse, Omolayo Abayomi, has had her Nurse's licence withdrawn by the UK Nursing and Midwifery Council for throwing her hands into the air and begging for Jesus to help, as a baby she was supposed to be taking care of suffered a heart attack.
According to Daily Mail UK, Omolayo Abayomi 'panicked' when the child, who suffered from a chronic lung disease, turned blue and stopped breathing in his cot at home. The nurse called for divine intervention more than 20 times before the vulnerable boy's mother told her to 'shut up'.
The nurse was constantly saying "Jesus help him" and waving her arms around,' a hearing was told.
ATTENTION to all my Naija peeps in Naija:
When you about to travel out of Naija in order to go find greener pastures in the Western world, you better drop some of your ridiculous religious beliefs back at the airport.....cos dem sh** wont save your a** once you cross that Atlantic ocean.
You a freaking resident nurse and you see your patient dying, and instead of you to take necessary measures in order to prevent further disaster... u dey there dey call God name. Like he's gonna come down and perform a miracle, just cos your lazy a** didn’t know what to do? Ofcourse there are some situations where you have no option but to leave it to God to take care of (after you have done your own part ohh). But I dont know why we just have this mentality that God must come down and do every freaking thing for us. Then why did he give us brain then? He might as well have put fufu inside our brain nah...or made us all airheads. But he knew that if he didnt give us brain, we go just become his parasites forever....which unfortunately most of us still are :)
At least if she tried to act fast and take necessary measures in order to help the child survive, then I'm sure this wouldn’t have been news. But the woman dey there dey call God for expedited intervention. And I could just imagine how she was doing it too. Probably closing her eyes, walking up and down the room, snapping her fingers, making very serious/ugly facial expressions, praying loud and spicing the whole room up with saliva (such a typical Naija prayer format)
Anyways time don reach wey we gats dey use our brains for real. No be every small thing wey happen wey we go just dey call God up and down. I wasn’t surprised when I saw this tho. This is what you expect when you can get a Doctor or nursing degree in Naija in just a few yrs, when compared to getting it in the western world. We got no adequate training whatsoever. Instead to hand out degree na the only thing we sabi. So why wouldn’t she start praying to God, since she doesnt know WTF she's was gonna do.
For Naija ehnn, when you see some of these so called doctors or nurses, and when they open their mouth and speak, sometimes I'm like "how da f**k did this nukka get his degree for Christ sake?" I remember when I was in secondary school, I had this crazy pain on my lower left part of my stomach. And when we went to see the doctor, do you know my mum didnt even finish telling him my experience, and this doctor immediately concluded "Its appendix and we will take him to the operating room asap, because the thing is deadly" ?????????????? Mind you no test whatsoever was taken on me ohh...and the guy don already conclude say na appendix. If no be say I'm lucky to have a smart a** mum, dem for don go tear tear my belle finish that same day... all in the name of appendix kwo? But she was hesitant and we later found out it wasn’t even anything close to appendix. It was just an unusual stomach pain.
Its so painful to see that we are brought up in a society where we dont wonna use our brains to take certain decisions anymore. Instead we feel God is always there to do smth for us...NA NUKKA. Sh** doesnt work like that. And trust me, that’s one of the major things killing us in Naija. This woman don go fall our hand for thia now. Well If she’s a citizen, then she go enjoy some good time for Jail. But if she’s a non-British citizen, then she should be happy cos she will be getting a free transportation to the airport, and a free flight back to Naija. How lucky she will be..especially now wey ticket fare dey very expensive :)
GUYZES ARE VEXING EHH.............
Congrats to the one and only Duncan Mighty. My guy just purchased a Rolce Royce Phantom, and marked it with a plate number "PH 1st SON"
Nothing does you jare. Enjoy ur life. Afterall you worked for it. But this life dey funny ohh. This was a guy that a few yrs ago, he had absolutely nothing. This goes to show you that you should never look down on anyone. Today you can be nothing, and the next day, you don blow scatter.
When I was in Naija in March, I had the opportunity to meet this dude one day in PH, for one of my guyzes studio..... I remember him telling us he was just coming from gov't house, and Governor Amaechi gave him N150 milla, in order to organize the concert in PH which he brought in all the famous Naija artists to come perform. He's indisputably one very talented artist, mad mad kool, and very humble too. That was the day I even found out that he actually produces his own songs. Which means he makes his own beats, writes his own freaking songs and produces it all by himself. Therefore the more money in the bank for him :)
And I can guarantee you that this is the only guy in PH that can come out and drive this Rolce Royce in PH with no security whatsoever…and no one will even think of kidnapping or harming him. Why? Cos he's loved by everyone in PH. You need to see the way people luv this guy in PH ehh. Even during the concert night, the crowd was trying to fight the security guys and cause serious wahala. Different People came on stage trying to calm the crowd, but they got even more violent. But immediately they went to bring Duncan Mighty to come out and talk to them….mehn everybody just listened to him. I remember when he came out on stage to address the angry crowd, the first thing he said was “If I do you do you” then the crowd just went bananas and replied “if I do you wrong before, sorry ehh, I no dey perfect ehh.” Mehn that shit just made everyone calm down. That sh** was so powerful and it really gave me an insight of how influential musicians are. It was just a memorable night for real. So as I was saying, my guy is really PH 1st son ehh, and he’s good to go eh.
Keep up the good work and keep on making hit songs for us to dance to juo. God bless you my man...with your crazy crazy crazzzzzzy looking self :)
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