WTF IS THIS SH** ???????????

(shout out to Victor Ogolo for providing this disturbing pic)





And NAFDAC actually approved this?











OYA THAT'S IT. I'M DONE BLOGGING....WTF YO!!!

ABEG WETIN YOU GO DO??....MY GUYZES AND GIRLZES :(

(shout out to Tobiloba Lawal for providing this very interesting post)

This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place in Lagos. This was a huge wedding with over 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage and took the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their Wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. Taped to the bottom of everyone's chair (even the chairs of the wedding party) was a manila envelope. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open their envelopes. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.) After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said ''F--- you!'' he then turned to the bride and said ''F--- you!'' and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said..... ''Thanks, I'm out of here.'' He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong. His revenge: 1) Making the bride's parents pay over 320,000/= for a 300 guests wedding and reception. 2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen. 3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of all of their friends, their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc. Did the guy go too far?

Well in terms of asking if the guy went too far...to my own perspective,.....infact I no just know wetin to answer jare. Abeg make una help me for this one ohh.

But damn the groom na really one very special type of human being I swear. If na me wey this kind thing happen to, I dey 200% sure say my brain no go even fit go this far to planning such thing......this na some real silent killer eh...DAYUMMMMM!!!

SOMEWHERE IN OGUN STATE..........

So this is a picture of a primary school located in Ogun state. You see its 2011, and it's just painful to see that such type of school still exists in our country....a whole Giant of Africa/5th largest oil producing country in the world. This is a state who’s former governor/tout Gbenga Daniel, looted all the lootables while in gov't. Okay yes none of us for hia be saint, and I'm sure if most of us are given the opportunity to be in power, there's a big possibility of us misusing it. But what I don’t just understand is this..."how could someone steal billions of Naira, and yet have no remorse whatsoever of doing smth positive for the people who elected him." I DONT JUST GET IT AT ALL. Look at governors like Fashola of Lagos, Amaechi of Rivers, and Godswill Akpabio of Akwa Ibom. You think say these people no dey loot money too? Ofcourse they do. But for the fact that they are doing tremendous jobs in their various states, nobody really cares about whether dem dey thief or not. So I dont just understand why these other government touts cant do the same. As I always told my guyzes, Imagine say person like Uncle Jonny, or any other future Naija president, actually come out and provide 24hrs electricity in Naija. That will be the greatest achievement of any Naija president nah. And even after that, if he comes out and openly steal govt money, nobody go vex for am. Even sef nah we Naija peeps go dey beg am make im thief more...he he. Why? Cos he has achieved what no other Presido has, and life is now made easy for we the Nigerian peeps. ITS JUST FREAKING COMMON SENSE. Do smth that will have a positive significant impact on your people, and then you will be loved forever. But instead most of these our so called leaders/baboons just wan suck every last drop of milk wey dey Naija breast, and do nothing...as in absolutely nothing....Na Nukkas. No be so eh.


And the most ridiculous and painful aspect of the whole matter be say 2days ago, this na wetin come out for news.
Abeokuta — The Ogun State government will spend about N2 billion on textbooks it intends to provide for six million students in public primary and secondary schools in the state. The state's Commissioner for Education, John Odubela , who disclosed this to newsmen in Abeokuta yesterday, said the textbooks would cover all subjects. He also noted that the schools would be mandated to monitor the books, while the government would improve school libraries for safe keeping.

You see ehhn...the kind amounts of money wey person don hear for Naija news ehh....now sef, million too small....these days its usually billion this, billion that. At least once in three days, You will hear a news that talks about billion this and that on various projects. And yet there's nothing to show for it.
So my question is this ohh...."why can’t the Ogun State govt use this so called N2billion they claiming to use for books, and build real standard schools?" Cos as far as I dey concerned, this is just pathetic and unacceptable.

This is why I will forever give the biggest props to Gov. Amaechi of Rivers State. Pls if you have never been to Rivers State, or if you haven’t been there lately, then you have to go see for yourself. If you go to all the state schools across the state (even in the most remote/local areas in the state), they all have the same building plan, excellent learning environment as well as recreational facilities......each student have their own personal laptop in class......infact, everything is all American standard....and its FREE.
Now thats someone who understands the importance of education to children, who would inturn be the future leaders.

I think its reached the point where its only God’s special intervention that will change Naija :(

(sahara reporters & allafrica.com)

HE SURE DID GO TO AFRICA. NAIJA TO BE EXACT!!!

You know I still just dey wonder why we no dey like do things the right way. Even when it comes to ordinary costume sef. I know some of you will just look at this thing, and take it lightly...cos afterall its just a costume...no biggie shey??? Well, as for me, I no dey take this sh** lightly at all. Cos just think about this....children watch Kids television and they all know who the f**k Barney is.

Even the children wey no even get cable for their house even know who baba Barney be. They all know him as one big fat purple animal thats always having fun and singing with kids....."i luv u" "u luv me" "we are happy family" and blah blah blah blah (just wondering who made Barney feel so comfortable that he thinks he could actually call us his family...ha ha, nothing wey man no go see ehh). And mind you, these kids already know at the back of their mind what Barney looks like ohh.....Then all of a sudden, they see something looking like this just appearing from nowhere.....Or you no know say this kind thing fit affect these children psychologically?

You see one thing on tv looking like A, then when you see it in real live, it looks like Z. Come on nah. And you know say children dey very very smart, and dem no dey hide mouth. You see as no pikin even dey near the so called Barney sef. I'm sure all of them go dey tell their parents say this no resemble the Barney wey dem dey see for TV ehh....ha ha
But damn the people wey organize this thing no just try at all. See major falling of hand shaa :(
from the look of the picture, im dey like say the person wey dey inside the costume sef wan even collapse. I sure say the ventilation na die ehh...ha ha
Can we just do smth right for once?....jeeeez

TONTO DIKEH GETS A TATTOO ON HER BACK.....(F**KING AWFUL)

So I'm sure most of you guys have heard of the Nollywood actor known as Tonto Dikeh. Yeah she's one of the most controversial figures in the Nigerian movie industry, cos of the type of inappropriate roles (according to some of our Naija peeps) she plays....Well, as for me, I'm sick and tired of people criticizing others. Everybody got their live to leave, so quit whining about someone else, and focus on your f**king business. Na one problem i get with Naija peeps...they always wonna be in someone's business. People dey complain say the girl movies dey too erotic and should be banned. But na the same idiots wey go hide secretly dey play that same movie for their own pleasure. So who's really the hypocrite now? smchew.

Anyways back to what I wanted to say. Yeah so the chick na krase girl for Nollywood, and she no send wetin anybody tell her ehh...and I do like that kind of attitude shaa. Anyways she just recently had a big a** tattoo one her back.

Ummmmm as for me, that tattoo is just mad wack. Whatta!!!!! First of all, the picture looks awful...secondly, whatta heck is going on in the pic? I'm sick and tired of people having a tattoo just for the sake of it. This just reminded me when I went to Naija. I was very shocked at the amount of people that had tattoo. And the most painful thing be say none of the tattoos I saw either made sense, or was of good quality. Just a bunch of stupid a** stars or heart signs on girls necks, and cross signs on the boys. My friend, Its a freaking permanent ink on your body, therefore think think think before you decided to put any stupid sh** on your body.

And is it just me or this chick na one very very unattractive individual...especially without make-up :)
Well, i guess we gotta give a big big shout out to whoever made make-up.....cos I just dey wonder how some women for survive for this kind harsh world without it. :(

ONLY NAIJA EHH

Okay so my aunt sent me money to get a BB torch for her, and my mum will carry it along when she dey go back Naija this week (damn its about time jare...th ewoman deon dey here for almost 2 months ehh...ha ha love my mama jare). Anyways I deceided to use an online site called craigslist in order to see if I can get any BB there. So basically craigslist is kinda similar to ebay, in the sense that people put their goods up for sale. But the only difference is that there's no bidding, and its toned to differend regions, such that if you are interested in any particular product, all you need do is contact the owner and meet up with them somewhere in the city in order to buy their stuff.
Anyways while I was looking for a BB torch, I came across this post below from a certain seller. Pls read carefully.....ha ha

Blackberry Torch 9800 AT&T In Great Condition, Clean ESN / MEID - $249 (Greenwich Village)

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Date: 2011-10-24, 9:38PM EDT

Reply to: sale-wjmp7-2661303605@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
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I have a Blackberry Torch 9800 for AT&T that I am no longer using. The phone works perfect and is used but in pretty good shape, no screen cracks or anything. It is ready to go and you can pop in your AT&T SIM card and verify it is working. Includes phone, charger, box, headphones, and original manuals, documentation, etc. Asking $249 or best offer. I will not ship this item anywhere (to Nigeria) so please do not ask. Thanks for looking.


•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

MY YAHOO ENCOUNTER....VOLUME 15

So as usual, I do get Yahoo Yahoo mails in my gmail account here and there...and I ignore most of them...but sometimes reply to the ones I find very interesting.....ha ha
So last week, I got a very interesting mail and I couldnt help but reply, in order to see how far these fools will do business with me, their potential mugu :)
Below was the mail I got, and my reply....but i guess the fools later realized that their potential mugu isnt actually a mugu ohh..chieyaaaa...poor people :(
enjoy :)

...........................................................................................................................................................
 REV EMMANUEL DAVID to me                            show details Oct 11 (9 days ago)

MY DEAR FRIEND,
GREETING. HOW ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE IN YOUR COUNTRY?I BELIEVE THE GOOD LORD IS TAKING CARE OF YOU.

IN RESPONSE TO YOUR MAIL ON HOW TO CLAIM A CERTIFIED BANK DRAFT OF $450.000.00 DROPPED BY MISS GODWILL FOR YOU ON THE COMPENSATION OF YOUR PAST EFFORTS ON HER .TO BE SURE THAT YOU ARE THE ACTUAL PERSON, PLEASE THE FOLLOWING ARE NEEDED FROM YOU;

1) YOUR FULL NAME.
2)YOUR WORK AND RESIDENT ADDRESSES.
3)YOUR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN.

THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.
YOURS FAITHFULLY,
REV.EMMANUEL DAVID
+221774935168

Reply Forward
........................................................................................................................................................

alexander to REV                                                  show details Oct 13 (7 days ago)

Below is my info just as you required.
Name: Alex Smart
Work: Party Animal
Country: American

And how long will it take for me to get this money, because I really need it to spend for my birthday party.
Thanks and I look forward getting the money from you. ASAP. And I mean ASAP :)

Yours sweetly
Party Animal.
- Show quoted text -

Reply Forward
...........................................................................................................................................................

REV EMMANUEL DAVID to me                                        show details Oct 14 (6 days ago)

Dear My Son,

I went to DHL office yesterday evening after receiving your contact details in other to send your belongings to you and they said the cost of sending the Cheque from Senegal to your Country is 205 dollars. In other to send the cheque to you , you have to send the posting fee of 205 dollars with my name and information's below immediately through western union,so that i can go back and send the CHEQUE of $450,000 us dollar that is written and dually signed in your name to you .

Thank you .

My details are .
NAME.............Emmanuel David
ADDRESS........Unite 7 black 4 Unite pacell. Dakar Senegal

Thanks and may God bless you.
Yours In the Lord,
Rev. Emmanuel David
+221774935168

Reply Forward
.........................................................................................................................................................

alexander to REV                                                            show details Oct 14 (6 days ago)

Dear My Son? Well, thank you Daddy, and I know you like how I called you daddy. wink wink ;)

Anyways I just sent you the western union of $205, and they gave me something called "Money Control number" and I should give it to you. But I'll only have to give you the number under one condition though.....and I hope you wouldnt say no, daddy. wink wink ;)

Thanks daddy, and I look forward getting my $450k asap, cos I really need that cash in order to make it rain in my birthday bash. You know how it is right?

Your Sweet Son,
Alex :)
- Show quoted text -

Reply Forward
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AND THE FOOL HASNT REPLIED ME BACK SINCE THEN....PLS TELL ME WHERE DID I GO WRONG :(
ha ha

OUR BIRTHDAY PARTY.......NOTHING DO US

So me and my wife were born in October...how awesome...shout out to all my October peeps jare...nothing does us at all at alll

Anyways we decided to throw a big fancy and classy party in our loft apartment in NYC this coming Saturday, the 22nd. We are expecting to have over 100 people show up. It’s going to be a mixture of Naija, Akata (black Americans..ha ha ), whitey, latinos...infact every race...and some of my neighbors who are celebrities, will be bringing their celebrity friends to my party too.....i feel special ehh. But as usual, na my Naija peeps go plenty pass nah. We so excited cos a lot of our friends are coming from different parts of Yankee to come for this party...even my best friend from Canada is coming through. I no fit wait ehh. And this is actually the first party we hosting that I will not be cooking anything. Since we trying to make it a fancy and classy party, we decided to have only finger foods (for those of una wey no sabi wetin be finger food, it means stuff like chicken wings, crackers and cheese, etc)

And I sent the party theme and invite on Facebook, but yet, my Naija people still dey call me dey ask if food go dey...and they mean food as in Jellof rice, plantain, soup and all other Naija dishes which i do prepare well (yes I said it, I'm a great cook...people wey don chop my food fit attest to wetin I dey talk). And I keep on telling them say Naija food no go dey ehh. Can you just imaging going to a classy party where everybody is all dressed up lookign nice...and you go just see people dey mould fufu...egusi soup stain and strands of rice go dey fall for ground..and people go just dey match am dey dirty the whole place, and everywhere go just dey smell native food native food native food.....OH NAH NAH NAH..not this time jare :)

So I don tell all my Naija peeps wey dey come say make dem no come dey think say dem go chop betta heavy food shaa...instead make dem stop for any fast-food and chop heavy first before dem come :)
Naija peeps ehhn...every time na food dey? food dey?..na the only thing wey we sabi ask...ha ha

But yeah I'm looking forward to see and have fun with everyone. And I'll be taking a lot of pictures and I'll post them here by next week. God is good and we should be thanking him everyday we wake up u know, cos we are not better than most of the people that are dead. So we should be thankful, happy and Jolly dey go. Nothing do us jare.


And if you live in NYC or the Northeast region, you are very much welcomed to come and have fun and enjoy a great night too. Its all luv :)

SUPER CHICKENS HAVE DONE IT AGAIN :)

So Naija has dropped down in the Fifa World ranking...from 38th in August, now to 44th

Ivory Coast and Egypt are the only African countries in the top 30.
Below is the African ranking:
1. Ivory Coast (19)

2. Egypt (29)
3. Ghana (33)
4. Algeria(35)
5. Senegal (42)
6. Nigeria (44)
7. Cameroon (47)
8. South Africa (49)
9. Burkina Faso (54)
10. Morocco (56)

SHOULD WE BE SURPRISED?  NOT AT ALL NAH
If nothing ...and I mean absolutely nothing works in Naija, then why should our football system work nah?
The failed nation keeps on doing big when it comes to negative news. Na normal things for us nah

INFACT WHY AM I EVEN WASTING MY PRECIOUS TIME POSTING SUCH BULLSH** NEWS SEF. smchew. I should slap myself for this one :)

(vanguard)

MAKE WE GO BAFF??????????????? HA HA

So I was just browsing my facebook pictures, and I came across one picture I made. Ok lemme give the story. So me and my guyzes went to Maryland to go spend the weekend with one of our other guyzes. So basically whenever we go down there for the weekend, all we do is chill, booze and smoke our precious weed all freaking day...and I mean as in blazing back to back ehh. So night time come dey reach, and we were suppose to go out to one Naija party like that. But the problem come be say none of us done baff, talkless of even to dey ready. So me thinking I was the only one in the right mind, I now told them "guys make una do make we go baff commot here nah"  And the whole place was silent for about 2o seconds, and all my guyzes were just staring at me like ??????????????????????????    and I still didnt know why they were looking at me...i thought they were just so high and didnt know what they were doing. So I repeated the same thing again "make una come make we go baff na, cos time don dey go"  Then all of a sudden, dem just start to dey bust laugh...and I was like "wetin dey amuse una nah?" "which kind laughing jackass be this one sef?"....make we go baff dey commot here jare."
 Then one of them now told me oboy nawa 4 u ohh...which one come be "make we go baff ke?" "You and who dey go baff ehn?"  Then my other guy come talk "I don dey always suspect say this boy na gay man"....... ha ha. And they were just yabbing me left right center. But I didnt still see anything wrong with what I said shaa. And I told them "is there anything wrong with us going to take a bath and getting set for the night?"  Na im these give tear laugh scatter. Then they later told me "o boy go baff alone jare." "shey you dey find person wey you wan chook for shower?"...ha ha

Anyways all my friends both male and female do call me gay, cos I actually be doing some really gay stuff tho, and I no send for anybody ehh. But they all know say I sabi play too much.
So after that, they started using that whole stuff to make fun of me. So I decided to make a picture of me and them (and also included a few other guyz that i belief they wanted to joing the baffing party) all having fun in a jacuzzi, touching each other in a happy way.

Shout out to my guyzes  that were in my Jacuzzi party...Ekene, Taiwo, Mukki, Onye, Paul, Mohammed, Akwasi, Onye and Emma.

WONNA SEE THE PICTURE? THEN CLICK ON THE "READ MORE" BUTTON BELOW. And I beliefe I'm the one having the most fun, sticking out my tongue, happy as f**k, and sying hey to the camera....ha ha. I'm just too much for my own self jare.

OKAY THATS IT!!!!....I"M DONE WITH THIS BULLSH**

You know there's a saying in Igbo "ihoru anudu eme onye ara. Mana obu ndi nwe ya ka oga eme" (I know some of you non igbo peeps are prob like "WTF is this dude saying"..ha ha )
Well in english, it says that "A mad man is never ashamed of himself, cos he's obviously oblivious of what he's doing...But instead, na im people (relatives)wey shame go catch pass.

SO THEREFORE, I DEY SWEAR THE DAY I CATCH ANY OF MY FEMALE FRIENDS OR LOVED ONES COMING OUT LOOKING LIKE THIS....THAT GO BE THE DAY WEY I GO PERSONALLY DISOWN THAT PERSON KPATA KPATA.......COS THIS IS JUST VERY F**KING RIDICULOUS, AND EMBARRASING.......AND THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, TO WEAR WIG NO BE MANDATORY SOMETHING!!!!!

UNF**KING BELIEVABLE!!!

"OLIVER DON TWIST" ANIMATION...MAD FUNNY SH**!!!!

(Big shout out to Ajiri and the AREA team for providing such funny video)

Ok so I made a new friend called Ajiri, who works with AREA, an urban comedy outfit. Anyways She sent me an Oliver twist video which they made themselves.....and trust me, this is pure brand new comedy video.

She told me "It's our yabis opinion of the entire Don Jazzy and D'banj' "Oliver Twist" dance competition and it's called "Oliver don Twist"...... ..........ha  ha @ "Oliver don twist"...yeah I like that..lol
I no go lie, I really enjoyed the video shaa.....Its just mad funny. Just take time look the way the women their nyash just dey shake....THATS EPIC RIGHT THERE...ha ha
Overall, I do like the whole video. Its very unique, coupled with its great concept. Also, its not easy trying to do all this cartoon animation stuff on the computer ohh. Therefore I give all the AREA team, thumbs up jare. And I'm looking forward to more of you guys production in the future :)

still cant get over the nyash shaking shaa....ha ha

WHY IS EVIL OUR DAILY BREAD HUH????

So for Akwa-Ibom, one 27yr old man chopped off his half-baby brothers arm and ran away. And the reason for such action? Nobody knows :(

Mehhn I swear Naija na jungle ehh... Anything can happen to anybody at any time. Nobody can be trusted for real. Even your own family member sef

My woman come dey explain wetin she see nah:
"When I finished bathing and breast-feeding my baby, he began to sleep. I took him to bed and went into the kitchen to do some work. But his half-brother who is about 27 years old went inside and cut off his hand.

"I have not seen him since he amputated my son's right hand. I learnt he had been apprehended by the young men of the village and had been killed. This happened on Tuesday, September 27," she explained.

Well, I guess jungle justice has taken effect. Now my guy don kpemeh...But at the end of the day, he’s given that baby a big a** stigma for life. Imagine say you be this pikin, and while you growing up, you will never cease to forget the fact say na one very stupid bastard wey make you lose one of your arms. How pathetic.

And this was what our Olokpas had to say:

The Police Public Relations Officer, Akwa Ibom State Command, Mr. Onyeka Orji, said the act is a criminal offence. He stated that the police are investigating the matter, adding that the result of the investigation would prove whether Nathaniel is actually mentally deranged or not.


Is it just me or whenever an incident happens in Naija, the only thing you will hear from our police force na just 5 words….. "We Are Investigating The matter"….. Na the only thing wey this people sabi. And I can bet you say at the end of the day, them no dey investigate sh**. The last time I checked you need a group of smart peeps with great experience to carry out an investigation...and sometimes coupled with the help of technology too. But our police force is all filled with touts, hooligans and nonentities. So me come really dey wonder wetin and how dem dey take go about their so called investigation shaa. And since the Nathaniel guy don die, I'm still continuing to deeply wonder why they are still doing the investigation, and also how the outcome of their investigation will tell if he was mentally deranged or not. Infact ehhn I no just know anymore jare.

Damn Naija police ehhn...una don dey give me allergic reaction I swear.

(vanguard)

ANOTHER RIDICULOUS FORUM GIST!!!...

So I was on this Naija forum so, and I came across this topic...some kid talking bout how he cannot get girls and stuff...and I was like WTF????? Nothing wey person no go hear for Naija ehh...ha ha ....enjoy


Why Am I Still Single?  (AKA why cant I get p***y..ha ha )



« on: October 15, 2011, 10:56 PM »
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i dunno i know i am a fine fine boy, i work at my fathers church.


i am sensitive ,i am caring, i am protective and i am GOD FEARING AND HOLY.Every girl i have tried to wooo always just end up being turned off by me or ignore me. i even tried the internet same thing they don't like me. i am everything a girl wants and i just don't get why i can't get one.


i just hate being single ;i am so dam lonely.
i think the devil has cursed me , you since i am so holy, thats the only logical!!!! explaination.
i need your prayers
amen.

Re: Why Am I Still Single?



« #1 on: October 15, 2011, 11:16 PM »


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Are you sure you are fine?

Re: Why Am I Still Single?



« #3 on: October 15, 2011, 11:18 PM »


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Quote from: Kunbee on October 15, 2011, 11:16 PM


ofcourse i am fine, ppl stare at me all the time.
i am a fine fine boy


HA HA HA.....CAN SOMEONE TELL THIS IDIOT THAT PEOPLE STARE AT CRAZY PEOPLE TOO......matter of fact, the crazier you look, the more possibility of you being starred by people all freaking day. Sometimes when I come across a crazy looking individual, or someone who has some strange conspicuous stuff growing on their face or another part of their body, I just have this urge to stare at them…but with style shaa...cos It would actually look awkward if the person come catch me dey look am.


LOL @ “are you sure you are fine?” But thats a very valid question tho. Cos I dont care whatever anyone says, even if you no get good communication skills, or you get one kind bad habit that turns people off.....but as long as you be fine boy, you must get p***y somehow someday from one of those girls who just care about looks, and not giving a f**k about your personality and sh**

Therefore me too really no dey feel this guy yarning’s jare

NAIJA RAPPERS ON BET CYPHER KE?

I dont know if you guy saw the 2011 BET cypher, with Eminem, Joe Budden, Otis & co.    Pls if you didnt watch or hear it, pls go do so asap, and thats when you go def know say eminem na the greatest rapper alive....hands down.
Anyways back to what I was saying. So our Naija rappers decided to do their own, called "Naija Cypher" And after scrutinizing this video, I can vividly say that Modenine killed it jare....then following to M.I and Sauce Kid......As for the other guyz, I no even know wetin to talk about them. Well, I guess they wanted extra people n stuff, so they decided to call Ice Prince, Naeto C and this Xo guy. And I really dont know why Iceprince and Naeto C got so much hype....cos as long as I dey concerned, the former is just wack (na just that Oleku song still dey save im career) and the later just got poor deilivery tho. I honestly believe say MI na the only Naija rapper that can def do big things worldwide. Other than that, the rest of them na just make we use them dey compensate ourselves say "we get rappers"
But Mehnnn, this Modenine guy just paint this song black and purple ehh....never knew this guys was this nice!!
Nice stuff tho, and I give all of them props jare. Its not easy ehh.
But is it just me, or Sauce Kid got the sickest intro...the guy get swag die jare

BB PIN YAWA.......HA HA

So for those of us wey no get Blackberry, this news is for us. Cos clearly, those who have blackberry already know the deal. Okay, so there was a blackberry outage last two days across Europe, Middle-East and Africa. It affected users for over 12 hrs. The way I knew about it was through facebook. Na so everybody just dey complain about how their bbm no dey work and stuff like that. and this na mainly from people wey dey Naija ohh. So I decided to call my man back home and ask him what’s the 411 over there. Mehn, na im my guy just dey tell me say people wey get bb just dey vex anyhow. All those “Im a big babe” chicks just dey vex anyhow. He said as much as you cannot tell who has a BB when you walking on the road (since some peeps put theirs in their pocket), but you can still identify the ones wey get BB, cos you can literally see the anger and frustration on their faces...especially the babes them. I hear say some people come dey get serious hay fever sef...and they had to rush them to clinic :)


I dont know why, but i've never been a fan of that whole BB ping thingy though. Even when I was in Naija, I tried using it for one week, and i just wasnt feeling that thing at all. I know its good cos its free and stuff...but the madness that comes with it ehhn..no be small oh. It just makes one very unproductive, coupled with the fact say the thing dey teach people how to puknose well well. Dont get me wrong ohh, there's nothing wrong about BBM...but its the way we Naija peeps be sodomizing it that makes it look wrong. As in ehhn, some people don ping, sotey dem fit write a full paragraph (void of spelling error) without looking at their phone. Person go wake up for morning, the first thing im go do na to ping....afternoon, ping....night, ping. SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....dem do am to una? And the extent at which girls would go in order to own a BB ehhn, infact make we no go thia sef.

Anyways, to all my BB ping users...nothing do una jare. Dey ping ping dey go.
I just dey imagine wetin go happen if our govt make mistake one day talk say dem go barn BB ping for Naija. I already see some people hanging themselves.

NAWA FOR OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM JARE!!

So I hear say for North, a bachelor was sentenced to 4 yrs in prison. I'm sure the first thing wey go enter anybody mind be say the guy don probably thief smth, or maybe im almost kills person, or something really crazy. But can you believe say na just because he tried to seduce a married woman??? LOL LOL

Mehn no kind news wey no go come out from Naija I swear.

Bello alleged that sometimes in July 2010, Umar Sade started wooing his wife Mars Munira Mohammed in an unlawful way suggestive of his intention for a love relationship and she reported the matter to him.
Bello told the court that when he heard the complaint, he approached the man and warned him to desist from any kind of interaction with his wife, and moved his wife from their former house at Danjuma Goje to Federal Low cost in order to blocked him from her.

LOL WOW.....Okay as much as I dont support the bachelor in any way, but at the same time......isnt the woman's husband such a BIG WET P***Y?? How you go move your wife to another house just because another man wan chop her...like come on. Infact ehn, he's such a BIG OILY WET FAT BUSHY P***Y for real. I can’t just imagine someone disturbing my wife, and I later accost the person. But I going to the extent of moving her?? Nawa4me ohh. Cos if I hear say the guy do am again, then I'll have to take laws into my hands by cutting off his wee-wee and make him eat it right in front of me. Period!!!

And even after he moved his wife from there, the bachelor guy still found a way to contact her and sent her a Zain N500 card. Nawa ohh this guy na warrior ohh. I’m sure im get something very bright wey dey inside that woman, and na only am dey see the thing. Maybe the woman husband dey see the thing too, and na why im move her somewhere else sharply...I wonder what that is shaa :)

He said the accused put two calls to his wife and Police arrested the man at the scene of the conversation with his wife asking her if her husband was at home, later he was released on bail.

All I can see is that the woman should be put to prison too, cos I no sure say she dey tell her husband whats really good.....I bet she was giving this man some kind of green light...thats messed up tho
Infact she's a d**k, while her husband is the p***y in this story.

And also ehhn, nawa4 our justice system ohh...how you go give person 4yrs because of seducing a married woman ke? Then what if to say my guy been come chop the woman nko? that one go be straight up death penalty na? Anyways I forgot this happened in the north...so i guess anything goes :)

(sunnews)

MENTAL ILLNESS IN LAGOS.....NA TODAY?? HA HA

About 2.5 million Lagos residents have been found to be suffering from one form of mental illness or the other, the state Commissioner for Health, Dr Jide Idris, has said.


Before I even start to comment anything, make I first LOL..and HA HA HA HA...BUHA HAHA !!! This is on of the realest ish I've heard coming out of the mouth of a commissioner...ThankGod I wasnt the only oen that noticed this

But to be honest, I'm not even surprised at all. I was even thinking that the number will be way higher. Cos seriously, there are a lot of crazy people in Naija in general, talkless of Lasgidi. I've always known this. But it was my wife who really brought it to my attention when we both went to Naija.....Just coming out of Lagos airport, she started noticing a lot of stuff.....I remember once we came out of the airport, people just dey shout like say dem dey fight each other...some people trying to fight each other just to carry your bag...some people just looking at you and smiling for not just reason...police flogging people with koboko. Infact there was a lot going on at that moment...and remember her saying "where the hell am I".....and I gave here my usual response "baby you don see am nah...Welcome to Naija".

I think the funniest was when we were driving around Ajoa estate, she saw this two grown ass men on the road play fighting and trying to grab each other’s d**k....and smiling like they won lottery or smth. Na so my wife just asked me "It seems like there are a lot of crazy people here in Lagos" and I was like that’s not true. Then her having a degree in Psychology, she started to explain to me that madness is not only the people you see running naked around the streets. There are different types of madness, and as long as someone is doing something that doesn’t look normal, then that madness for real. No be small explanation she give me ohh. That was when I now saw that she was actually saying the truth. Then she also saw the bus stations, and how agberos, touts, conductors and passengers them just dey ginger for anyhow..infact that sealed the deal for here right there.

He said, “we should not forget that a lot of social ills in the environment, such as hooliganism, psychotics and people roaming the streets have some relationship with mental health disorders.”



The fact is that there are a lot of peeps suffering from mental illness in Naija...and cos dem never dey naked dey waka for road no mean say dem no dey mad. And its hard for we Naija peeps to notice it, cos we are already used to the whole environment, therefore everything looks very very normal to us. But na usually foreigners fit notice the rate of madness in our country. You go see man wey dey fully dressed up with correct suit and tie, and you go think say na normal person. But make mistake go jam im moto, or do something wey go provoke am...then na there you go see straight up mental illness.

Anyways I think this number will continue to grow cos it’s really hard to be normal in Naija. Even if you want to, there's always someone that will provoke you and bring out the madness in you. Or the society itself will make you turn mad by force. Like seriously imagine living in Lagos for even 1yr, and you wan tell me say the madness disease no go affect you? Maybe only if you are living in the Island and barely come to the Mainland area....then you might escape the madness somehow. Infact ehhn I no just understand.

And I think what makes this worse is the fact that we dont believe in medication. You see I never used to believe in all that medication sh** when I came here. But ever since I've been with my wife, she always tells me the benefits of medication and stuff like that. Trust me, there are a lot of crazy people here in Yankee. I believe Yankee even have the most crazy people. But they put most of these people of various types of medications, depending on the type of illness you have. And I've noticed that these medications do really work and help these individuals out. And when they are off their medication, you can certainly notice the difference in their behavior and stuff. But since we Naija peeps no believe in medication, and we feel we all normal, then i guess we go just dey carry our madness dey waka dey go

Our politicians, police, agberos and everyone else involved in this whole religious crisis and turmoil in our country, are all suffering from major major mental illness...and did I forget to add that majority of the people involved in selling goods or services have their own type of mental illness too...cos as far as I'm concerned the customer service in Naija is -0

(tribune)

HA HA ...IS IT WHAT I'M THINKING?

Just wondering if this is one of the ways to charm a potential maga while talking to them online?  Abeg where are all those my Yahoo Yahoo peeps dey ehh?  Cos I dey sure say na una go fit give me the best answer for my question. I've actually seen some different Yahoo techniques though. During my 09' visit to Naija, I went to chill with my uncle for like 2 weeks or so, in Ajao Estate for Lagos (I swear that estate is the HQ of Yahoo...damn) So there was a bill I had to pay online and respond back to the company asap. But unfortunately I couldnt, since there was no internet access close to me. So I had to go to this nearby cyber cafe. And behold ehhn, wetin I see there ehhn, fear catch me eh. I swear there were up to 20 guys in there. At first, I felt they were browsing just like I was. But after I come dey see some very strange strange things, na im my brain come reboot sharply, say na Yahoo boys be this ohh. I saw this guy who had his bare feet inside a basin of water, while he was chatting online...I then saw this dude who had this thin chain round the monitor...and a couple of dudes with palm leaf and some with handkerchief, making specific type of gestures. Inside my mind, I was like "where da f**k am I for goodness sake???" And make I no lie, afraid been catch me small shaa....cos I thought I was in a freaking shrine or cyber cafe intitiation sh** :( 

But come to think about it, If person fit carry big basin with water, enter insdie a whole cyber cafe wey be public business....Then what about now wey everybody don dey get their own personal laptop...can you now imagine the kind things wey people go dey do when dem dey closed doors? All in the name of catching maga?  HA HA .....too bad we live in a society where people would do the unthinkable in order to make money. As much as I'm not a fan of yahoo (and will never be) but at the same time I know say onyibo man did even much worse things to our forefathers. So this is a way to say "its payback time u greedy onyibo muthaf**kers"   bra bra bra bra... ha ha.

But still that shouldnt justify doing yahoo shaa....and the craziest thing be say since onyibo peeps don dey smart, now these yahoo peeps are even turning to scam their fellow Nigerians.....like WTF???
Anyways shout out to all My naija peeps who dont believe in using black magic or duping people to make money. I know some of my yahoo friends go vex as I write this thing...but hey, we all different, and I'm just speaking my mind and keeping it real you know....nothing does una jare

WONDERS SHALL NEVER END

Okay Let us all agree what this dude said is true......for the benefit of doubt ohh.
But with common sense alone, If I was a woman, I go really ask myself some kind important questions like "why would I even let this hungry crazy looking individual even touch their cloth...talkless of private part ke?....and I'll have to ask him why do you even want to insert your dirty fingers in my private part in the first place? what are you looking for in there? Are you a certified Gynecologist? What do you know that you are doing?????? How the f**k will God tell you to do something like that..of all things ke?

Infact I think I will start blaming all these women...cos a lot of incidents where pastors seduce women in various ways, have been made known to the public. But yet, more women still fall victim to touts/animals like this. You know what? I think this is a way for some women to misbehave, and later act like say dem no been know wetin been dey happen. Cos think about it, imagine you as a woman nah...then one day in your church, your pastor said he will have to do a special pray/spiritual work for you, and this that that that blah blah blah. And when that time comes, in the process of doing the so called work, he starts telling you to do things wey even small pikin go know say that one no suppose follow for the so called spiritual work. But yet, you still let him have his way. And the worst be say a lot of these women keep such thing as a secret....umm shooooo. Since you are very much aware that what the criminal did was another type of spiritual prayer on you, then why not come out and expose him huh? I've heard about some women saying sh** like "I did not want to talk because I was scared" or "the pastor threatened me not to say anything" or "he used charm on me" or even "blah blah blah blah".   You know what...Thats some ridiculous bullsh** right there.
You call yourself a Man of God, but yet you wan dey do wetin other normal peeps dey do.....These idiots wonna eat their cake and have it. No No No Nukkas. Its either You take one or the other. Afterall nobody been force them to do work of God nah.
You see, If there's a set of people that I hate the most in Naija are our Police and so called Men fo God. I swear these are the two things that are making us seem like we not moving forward at all in Naija. Church & Police....what do they have in common? They are both the hot money making industries in Naija. You see them almost everywhere you go, and they always act like they have your interest at heart, but at the end of the day, its all about wetin dem go put for their pocket/stomach. And when I say churches, I'm referring to all these pentecostal churches that are just opening in ever damn corner of the street in Naija. 99% of them are just mad criminals, looking for a way to liberate themselves out of poverty. Getta f**k outta here with all that acting of yours on tv and on the pulpit, acting like you care for your congregation.....but you're just all about the money......
I dont just understand why people keep on falling victims for these type of scams.....WAKE UP GUYZ.......JEEEZ!!!

God directed me to insert fingers into womens private parts...How pathetic.
Wait a min..the dude did not say his own fingers ohh...he just said fingers, which could be other peoples fingers other than his? WTF IS GOING ON IN NAIJA THESE DAYS???

HA HA HA HA

Okay my guys, how many of una fit make this kind bold decision. But this ish is mad funny tho. Good job on the guys side, cos some of these babes go just dey feel like say their p***y na remote control. And to be honest tho, p***y na big remote control shaa....with 5 extra duracell battery inside am sef (you know say if you put duracell inside ordinary remote, that thing fot last till thy kingdom come sef). Cos mehn, I know one of my guys wey drive from Connecticut to Maryland just to go nack p***y......Smth wey go last for, highest 1hr, na im person drive for over 6hrs to go collect...ha ha. That one na even small sef...If i start to talk wetin p***y don make some guys do ehhn....this whole post go long well well. I've even had my own experience too. I remember when I used to date my wife. Then I had no car, but my roommate did. And when night time reach like this ehn (around that kind 12am time) I go just slowly commot my roommate key from im desk (thankGod he was a very deep sleeper) and slowly drive out with his car to go see my woman. As in ehhn, I no even sure say I been get license then...coupled with the fact say  something for my mind dey always tell me "what if my guy come wake up, come notice say I don carry im ride commot without permission.....and without having any license one me....and if Police make mistake pull me over, then me + am go enter serious yawa?" SHOOOO  But I was still adamant on going to see her, regardless of all the negative circumstances wey dey always flow for my head. I was like F**k it jare...nothing go do me in Jesus name... amim ohh.  And I did this so many times without being pulled over, or him knowing about it until I got my own car :)

Anyways back to what I was saying. Well u know its really hard for a dude to turn down punani shaa. I'm just guessing either this guy no dey feel the babe at all, and im no wan get anything to do with her...Or the guy don chop the babe before (when he was drunk) and when he became sober and realized what he just did, and whom he did it with, he was like "WTF DID I JUST DO???!!!!!"
Anyways whatever the case may be, this is mad funny tho. Its good to see a guy actually turn down punani for something else he loves doing. But trust me, it all depends on the type of punani shaa....Or you wan tell me say if person like Beyonce or Amber rose come ask the idiot that kind question, im go tell her say im dey play basketball ke?   :)
So after much scrutiny and research, Any guy you see that turns down a p***y, if you go and check well, you go find out say something dey really fishy with that particular p***y. In a nutshell, Punani get levels ;)
and I'm referring mainly to my single guys who are not in any form of relationship ohh.....make nobody come tomorrow dey talk say I dey promote adultery  for this site ohh :)

THE FACEBOOK STATUS POLICE..............PART II

(Ephraim you know I love you to death. But I just cant stop laughing when you put up a new FB status. Therefore, I have to share it with the Nawa4u community. nothing do you jare)
Well, My boy has taken english to another level for real. But Mehn you just gotta love his boldness for writing such things on FB tho. But wait a minute....I dont think this is boldness anymore, since he clearly feels he's saying the right thing. So in his own perspective, he's doing nothing wrong at all. At least his own is not as bad as some other peeps whom when they want to express themselves through writing, its comes out absolutely differently from what they have in mind :)
Eny way you peeple shuld ave a sit, and enjoys my boy's Facebooks statuseees :)



Ephraim
IS ONLY 3 PERSON WE CAN NOT LIAR TO. 1-GOD 2-UR-DOCTOR 3-UR-SELF.
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Ephraim
Happy sunday to u all. U all have lovey pix and 9ice one's. I love u all one love meni!!!!!
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Ephraim
Am happy today,I tank GOD 4 MY LIFE.
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Ephraim
What is happing in our country??? Can some one tlak to me.!!!!!!!
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Ephraim
I whant every body to day WELL.
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Ephraim
Na who DAY WHEN GOD DEY CREATE THIS WORLD???? Men are wicked.
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Olaka Ephraim

Have u Discover the Africa Magic???????
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TIME TO STEP UP AGAINST THESE FOREIGN BOOTLEG TOUTS!!!

So one of my friends just told me that last week, Airtel Communications sacked all of its customer staff workers. Why? Because dem no gree for the new salary wey dem wan pay them. They basically make about N80K a month, But the new Indian company which the service has been outsourced to, is planning to pay them wey less than their current salary. This has affected about 3000 workers.


I dont understand how these so called foreign investors (especially the Lebanese and Asians) will come into our country and treat us like animals. And at the end of the day (just as I always say) everything boils down to our government. They should be blamed for this, cos if our government had always treated us with respect, then this would have never been an issue in the first place.

This just reminded me of an encounter I had when I was in Naija in April (PH to be precise). So I parked my car by this store that sells electronics and household stuff....and I wanted to cross over to the other side of the road to go grab something real quick. At first, them been think say betta customer wan come buy smth from their store, but as I turned going the opposite direction, the manager (I believe) who was Lebanese immediately came out from the store and told the security guy (those ones wey their job na to open door for person) to come tell me to move my car away from their parking lot. Na im my guy come meet me dey tell me "Chairman abeg my oga talk say make you commot the car go park am for where you dey go." I just started laughing and told him to tell his oga to come suck my balls, and i no dey commot for there until I go do wetin I wan do finish. Before i know wetin dey happen, this security guy come dey beg me, and was even about to cry, telling me that please I should help him and move it, if not he would get fired. And while all this was happening, the manager dude was by the door looking. Then I walked up to him, and told him that I just took the security guy's number, and if I ever hear that the poor old security guy got fired for no just reason, then I promise him that him and his family will regret ever living in PH, talkless of opening a store. Then the idiot started making noise because they had about 3 mopol there too, and he called them to come take me out and stuff. But after seeing the kind of car that I came with, coupled with the way I been dey talk to the manager, the mopol dudes just mellow ehh (cos I'm sure they always used to seeing people kissing these Lebanese dudes asses)....I’m very sure they were probably thinking I was a big militant, or some kind of heavy drug dealer, or even one of dem rich peoples children. But its so funny that I'm actually none of the above...ha ha ...I’m just a regular dude who happens to know some irregular peeps in our society. Even the mopol dem even come dey beg me sef. But on the real, I did scare the sh** out of the Lebanese dude tho....ha ha…..and I was being very serious about the threat too tho….Cos all I need do is make one phone call, and dude would have been a forgotten story

Anyways what I'm just trying to insinuate be say these people just treat us like animals. You even need to see the way they be treating our girls too , especially those ones wey “closing of legs” no dey their dictionary. They feel they got the money and therefore they could do whatever the f**k they want to. If you see some of these people when dem dey their land ehhn, they got nothing at all. no college education, no money, no speak english..lol...But when dem come Naija, we go just dey treat them like mini gods. All because of skin color. As in Lebanese ohh...no be even white man...as in freaking Lebanese peeps wey dey smell. The worst na even Asians. esp Chinese peeps. Very racist muda f**kers, and dem get the nerves to dey treat us like animals when dem come Naija...as in these hungry Chinese people wey up to 20 of them dey sleep for one room. Its just a pity that we Nigerians are victims of this type of situation.

If there's anything I hate is seeing a foreigner treating my own people like animals...in our own country. Like are you f**king serious? For real, Son? Dude I'll beat your ass* beyond recognition, put you and your business (whatever the F**k it is) in a container, and ship you back to your country's original mailing and billing address….and nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing go happen. Afterall No be Naija we dey? I need to use one of them as an example I swear. Hopefully I'll encounter such incident again. F**king douchebags!!!


Anyways back to what I was saying...so now they are trying to boycott Airtel...Therefore no loading of the lines and no making calls on the 9th. Dem even get face book event...so you fit check am out and support your fellow Nigerians. It time we step up, and make sure all these foreign companies stop taking advantage of us.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=243804509000593