Friday, April 29, 2011


Okay so one day we were at Krixtal Lounge (i'm sure most of una wey don go ABJ know the joint na)....and one of my boys saw one half cast looking chick outside the club......she prob fulani or smth (that one concern her jare).
Anyways so while my guy was chatting up with her, she was like "i'm about to leave to my hotel, cos i wonna go smoke with my friends...and my driver/friend is waiting for me"
So as a happening and bubbling guy, when u hear the word smoke, the first thing wey go enter ur mind na my guy come ask her "una get weed?"....and she just said the magic word "YES"   :)
So na im my guy no wan loose the he told us that he would follow the girl in their ride, and me and the other guys should just follow them behind to the hotel.  Na so i just carry myself dey drive for their back dey go. Reaching the hotel nah, everyone came out of the we all formerly introduced ourselves....

As we come enter the room, mehn na im gbege don start ohh....there where like 2 other girls that look like her....i swear those girls were fulanis....and from the way they look and the kind things dem been wear, i could vividly tell that they come from a rich family. So my guy just dey Ginga...drinks don come out ohh....guys don start to dey happy cos dem don start to the roll the weed....and yes, skunk to be specific :)    Even me wey sleep been dey catch sef, my eye come dey open small small.

So while everyone was just chatting up, na im two of the two chicks just tell us to excuse, and they went into the bathroom, along with her so called driver/ sef come dey wonder why all of them dey enter there nah....the bathroom door was open, and there was a long mirror hanging on the door. So we just dey use style dey look thru the mirror to see wetin dey happen, before these strangers carry use do blood money ohh..ha ha .... Can u believe that these lil fulani chicks just brought out 2 pipes. me come dey wonder.....Shoooo...which time dem start to dey use pipe dey smoke weed...nawa ohh.....and all of a sudden, she brought out some white looking hard substance and they lit up that joint. and i was like HELL F**KING TO DA NO!!!!! i actually seeing these lil girls smoke crack right in front of me? (well actually inside the ......O boy ehh na im sleep just commot for my eye sharp sharp

After they finished smoking, they came out and started chattting with us...i swear i been think say i dey movie.....even their so called driver/friend come dey ask one of my guy wetin be im name...and after my guy told him, he still kept on asking him like every 1 minute...and kept on doing this over and over and over and over and over and over.....Na there wey i just conclude say CRACK IS JUST THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE, I SWEAR!!!....even the girls come dey talk, dey pause, dey talk, dey pause, dey talk, dey pause....inside my mind, i was like "WHERE DA F**K AM I FOR REAL?"

Thats when i finally concluded that all dem things people be talking about "drugs in Abuja" is real. There's just so so much drugs in that land and too bad they get into the hands of all these spoilt rich kids (esp the hausa/fulani ones) Anyways shaa, after the guy come dey act like say spit wan start to dey leak from im mouth, like imbecile, na im me and my guys just run jare......nothing wey person no see for that land i swear!!! i see why there's a saying that goes "crack is wack"


(Shout out to Obiamaka for sending me this bullcrap)


This is actually the name of a movie ohh...shey i been tell una say Naija movies don officially run out of movie titles.

But u know the funny thing is that both our movie and entertainment industries are still in its growth stage...dem never even reach maturity stage yet. Therefore i believe more exploitation needs to be done ehh :)

Yes we have produced gazillions movies, but there's still smth aint right with our movies. Ok lets face the fact, will u watch a Jim Ike movie over a Danzel Washington movie????????????  :( :( :(
Now u see what i'm talking about ehn....maybe the only people wey go watch Jim Ike movie Over Danzel's na those people wey NEPA no dey even show face for their area...and when the light even come sef, na so so Local news @7pm or all dem crazy low budget Naija movies wey de go dey watch.....or all those fake fake actor and boze movies wey plenty people go just gather dey watch from person window...HA HA ..that shit be mad funny tho.

Anyways back to what i was saying...Well, until we start making quality movies with content, and producing quality in quality actors ohh.....then thats when i go clap for our Naija movies.
But until then...........THEY ARE ALL BABASH :)

but on a serious note tho...."I should Abortion?"     WTF IS THIS SH**?

Thursday, April 28, 2011


I dont know why i just like this biscuit ehh........Okay let me be honest tho. Yes i was mad obsessed with cabin during the secondary skul days.....grinding it and mixing with milk and sugar,  and finally soaking the sh** out of it. Mehn soaking cabin was the ish in boarding skul jare....All my boarding skul peeps know what i'm talking about nah.

So when i was back in Naija, i bought one box of cabin. I used better blueband butter with am, and mehnn, that stuff was off the hook. Then few hrs later, i soaked it. See enjoyment scatter ehh. i swear i felt like a million box ehh...HA HA

But for some reason, on the second day, i noticed that i wasnt feeling cabin like i did back in the skul days. I no even know whether na bcos person done grow from that childhood age, or just say man don dey see better food dey chop nowadays :).    Anyways whatever the case might be, i tried so so hard to know what might have made me just fall out of love with my favorite biscuit on earth. All my friends know say i no dey carry cabin play sef. There was even a time i posted on my blog that i was craving for cabin...and before u know wetin dey happen, 4 days later my secondary skul daughter bak in da days sent me a box of cabin all the way from Canada (I luv u my lil baby Nneyen Umana)

Anyways to cut story short, i now decided to find a way to fall back in love with this lovely innocent biscuit.......AND GUESS WHAT????......I FOUND MY LOVE BACK :)

I'm sure u guys will be wondering how...well let me tell u the secret.....After staring at those two red face couple in the front of the packet (i just dey wonder where the heck they got them from, and who actually decided to color them red shaa), and also the way dem put the buscuit for their mouth, and the happiness on their faces as they trying to get their first bite........infact all these just made me fall back in luv jare. Welcome back Cabin and i'm glad to have u back. Thank you for making our childhood, puberty, and adolescent period, fun jare. And i promise i will never let u go anymore....(if ur company no fuck up shaa)

THUMBS UP IF U LUV CABIN JARE!!!!.....regardless of how dry it is....ha ha ha

Wednesday, April 27, 2011



Okay so one good friday so, me and two of my friends and a set of twin (names withheld..ha ha ) went to Krystal Lounge. So na so we dey inside club dey flex dey go we went to the VIP and one of the twin was buying the drinks for all of us....we drank up to 5 hennessey that night be small money wey the guy spend. So as we all know nah, wherever there is cheese/crayfish, rat must always find im way there... So na im ashewo dem come dey see wetin dey happen nah, so they found a way to get into the VIP, and my guys come carry them ohh... But the funny thing be say the twin1 wey been dey spend the money been talk say im no dey carry any ashewo cos he doesnt give a damn about them , and he's just trying to do him......HA HA HA HA ...

So time don reach to go house nah, all my guys except me and the twin1 been no carry any ashewo. So as we come reach house, my guys come dey wire these girls mercilessly the way the chicks come dey moan start to dey make the twin1 to the think twice ehh. Before u know wetin dey happen, my guy just commot for im bed to go see if im go follow wire one of the ashewo wey our friends and im twin2 been dey f**k already.......HA HA HA

Before we know wetin dey happen, the twin1 wan enter im brother room, but my guy been don lock door already ehh. Na im twin2 just shout
"o boy why u dey disturb me nah? shey we been tell u to carry ashewo for club, but u been dey do chariman...go sleep jare".........HA HA HA HA

Then luckily im come enter one of the unlocked room where our guy1 been wan start to dey f**k, im twin1 just tell them say im wan join too....but dem no gree am.  before u know wetin dey happen this thing don turn into serious issue ohh. the ahsewo and the guy talk say make im commot, but my guy no gree (he was drunk still).  and the next thing we heard from him was:
"I bought all the drinks u guys drank, i gave everybody a good time, the ashewo them been come meet una cos the saw how the drink was flowing. It is my money, the girls are suppose to be mine how u go dey tell me say i no go fit fuck too huh?"................HA HA HA HA 

Mehn i couldnt stop laughing ehh...and to even make the matter worse, i now came into the room to solve the while the twin1 finished explaining his part to me, the next thing that came out from my guy1 mouth was 
"O boy Alex no mind this fool jare...when we been dey tell am to carry ashewo, im been dey do big now conji don catch am, im wan come carry my girlfriend"
immediately he said that, i was like ........????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

So later the twin1 come call one of our guys wey dey for PH. (mind u this is like 5am in the morning oh) . twin come dey tell the guy say "ye,s guys will always fight, and settle back immediately.....but wetin dey make am go crazy about this whole situation and why he called him by this time of the day na to let am know say guy1 been call ashewo im "girlfriend"!!!

HA HA HA HA HA .....Mehn its way more funnier if u witnessed it in person.....i been laugh sotey i no even know when i sleep sef...woke up the next morning and started laughin.......
"person dey call ashewo im girlfriend"............nothing wey person no go hear for Naija



So me and some of my peeps where chilling at one indomie joint near Wine shop in ABj.......We just dey our own ohh, dey wait for our sexy indomie to come out make we chop.......Na so one guy from no where just enter the place in a hurry like say person been dey pursue am...he immediately told the DJ there to reduce the song immediately that he wants to say smth very very important that just happened now. Mehn everybody come dey wonder maybe the guy been escape from robbery or so.

Na im my guy just open mouth talk "Make all of una listen, Jesus is coming in the month of May, and 21st to be specific. Everybody just dey look am, and my guy still dey talk.  So we now asked him why im be say na on the 21st im wan come.....why not another date? guy no fit answer. some people come ask am say how im take know? guy no fit answer. All he did was to keep on repeating it the we shall see what will happen on the 21st of May. Na im some people for there come wan slap am sef...even the DJ come turn im radio up. Yet my guy still dey there dey insist on wey go happen.

So while im just dey talk dey go, one guy wey been dey next to us with im babe no been dey talk just been dey observer the noisemaker since. So after like 5 mins, the messenger still dey argue with some boys for there, na im the guy wey dey next to me come tell the waiter to give the messenger 3 indomie with 3 eggs make im chop. So i come ask the guy why is he trying to give this guy im my guy just tell me
"o boy this is naija and a lot of things dey happen wey people no dey notice. if u look this guy eye well well, u go see say no be am dey for here. Only very few people wey know the koko go see say na hunger dey worry this guy.

I been think say this guy just dey talk ohh...but as dem bring out that indomie ehhn, i swear i've never seen someone finish a food so fast like this so called messenger did. After im chop finish, im tell my guy "My Chairman u too much. Thank you"




So while i was in Abuja, and word on the streets was that there are some top notch shops in exclusive areas like Asokoro, Maitama and Wuse II , where u must call and make an appointment in oder for you to come shop at their location

"Insisting that decency and quality service delivery were the hallmark of the clothing hall, Oloyo stressed that “it is a must that you make a call, then we’ll now be expecting you to come here to buy something. Anybody cannot just walk in here like that.
“Actually, if we make it a place where anybody can come, you know, some people will just come here check on the types of products that we have here but they cannot meet up to buy the kind of products we’re having. They will be thinking that it is the type of products that other people are having outside that we have here, but when they come here they find it difficult that it is the type of thing they cannot purchase then this place will later become like a general market place, that is why we make it a system that some standard people will call us before they come. We wait for them to come and buy what they want to buy."

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.......BUT STILL SHAA, WTF??????  una dey see the kind thing wey too dey cause trouble for Naija?  But u know its so so so crazy to see that most of these wealthy ass guys here are criminals...oops i meant politicians :)  and wetin dey even pain me pass be say when we the masses see these kind people for road with their sirens and convoys and sh** us go dey hail them pass...what a shame and a pity that some ibotic idiot go just manage to make money by stealing from the govt or smth.... and then feel they are way better than every one else. Naija is crazy for real ehh

NAWA 4 U IS BACK........


umm make una no mind the pic ohh...i no been die ohh...was just MIA in Naija ;)

Anyways back to what i wanted to say.....YESSSA...............I AM BACK OHH........THANKGOODNESSS. U know a lot of people be sending me mails talking about why i no dey post stuff again on my blog....some people even been take am very personal ehh. lol

Naija was mad fun many krazy ass shyt i saw, and i caught some of them on i got a lot of funny crap for u guys ehh. no be small thing

Anyways i wonna use this opportunity to beg all of una say make una no vex cos i didnt post anything for the past month or so. Una suppose know say no be my fault nah. First of all, we all know the internet connection in Naija is just too lazy. and secondly una suppose know how Naija paroles dey nah. Naija is always on a fast lane, and especially when u in Naija for a specific period of time, u just want to be everywhere at the same time....nobody wan miss out on any activity ehh.

Anyways shaa that is the past.....Well i'm back and my regular posting continues....and i'll be posting stuff everyday...and trust me, its gonna be some real crazy stuff ehh....

And also i wonna take this opportunity to thank u all that read my blog...i never knew how big it was until i went to Naija. A few people i never knew will come up to me, and be like "are u the nawa 4 u guy?" heart been cut severally ehh. But i just had this satisfaction inside me that people actually appreciate wetin i dey do

God bless all of una jare...nothing do anybody ehh. :)