Wednesday, June 30, 2010


OKAY NOW THAT'S SOME SERIOUS BULLSH**....LIKE SERIOUSLY WTF DOES THESE PEEPS TAKE US FOR!!!!.....Na so we go dey one day, dem go show us some foreigners for NTA news, dey tell us say demd on buy make we dey pack our things dey go.

How the hell will you appoint this thing right here, a convicted money launderer to a Federal Government committee.  So whatta heck is his duty gonna be there? Syphone more money or what? In fact I'm beginning to loose lots and lots of respect for you Mr. Goody or whatever. You see this is the reason why other countries never take us serious...hings like this....cos they all know most of these guys are criminals, but yet they are seen walking free in our society,without being convicted.

Well I think I've come to realize that it would be very hard for Naija to progress, as long as all these heafty ugly criminals and their gangs/cliques are still alive and walking as free as air in our society.

Anyways Baba God me self and other better Naija peeps out there don put our dear beloved country for your hand abeg..... cos we no fit do am without u.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


"Nine soccer fans were tied up and robbed at gunpoint with one victim raped, in a terrifying hold-up in their hotel rooms following the Australia-Serbia World Cup match in South Africa. The fans which included five Australians, were on their way back to the hotel in the early hours of Thursday morning, June 24, after the match. According to reports reaching Masterweb News Desk, four armed men trailed nine soccer fans back to their hotel in Nelspruit, South Africa, invading their rooms and robbing them, allegedly raping a female victim. Steve Gaynor, one of the victims who had $10,000 worth of equipments stolen from him said the robbers were Nigerians. He said the men were armed with rifles and handguns, and five of the victims, including himself and the raped female, Australians"

Umm before i start to dey talk, i would suggest that the so called Steve Gaynor and the media that published such news should GO F*** THEMSELVES...

Okay yeah i know Naija peeps have a very bad reputation and all that in South Africa, and its a pitty that Nigerians are usually recorded for crimes been committed in some parts of the world today...BUT COME ON..WTF .......SERIOUSLY WTF??? How on earth would these idiots conclude that the criminals were Nigerians? no evidence, nothing...THIS IS TOTALLY ABSURD NA GETTING OUT OF HAND JARE.....Yes we did this, and we did that, but people should learn to follow things properly and stop destroying the image of Nigeria.
FOR CHRIST SAKE this country deserves some respect from others because most of them are certainly not better off than us.....In fact this thing don make me vex badly, and i must continue to blame our leaders..cos if they ruled us justly, managed and shared the wealth of the country among its citizens, we no for dey receive all these insults from these pako kangaroo countries.... i don rest my case juo



You see as long as the Naija government keeps on recruiting hungry and angry illiterates and touts into the police force, these killings will never stop. Just this weekend in Anambra State, A policeman at a checkpoint shot a taxi driver blank dead...WHY?....cos the victim refused to sort am 20 card...Come on, as in ordinary 20 card ehh, and an innocent life has been lost...JUST LIKE THAT!!...and u trying to tell me we not living in a babaric and untamed society?

Anyways dem talk say dem don arrest the so called policeman, and he would be charged to court for murder soon. Thats what they telling us ohh...but before u know it now, u go see the same police dey waka free for in TWENTY NAIRA EHH...CHAI.....


Nna ehhn nothing wey person no go hear for Naija ohh....The landlord know as Papa Chikwado was worried cos one of his tenants, know as Kelechi, has refused to pay his rent for some time. And the worst thing be say the landlord dey live for same compound with im tenants (which i dont think is a good idea tho), and him and Kelechi no dey like see eye to eye. Na im oga Landlord come carry the case reach police station, and Kelechi was invited to come give im own story..but my guy no show up....So as a way of getting him to come to the station, the landlord took some ploicemen to his compound and the seized Kelechis's motorcyle. But Kelechi still talk say im no go show for the station, and he threatened Oga Landlord that if he doesnt get back his motorbike, im go kill am........SHOOO

So thinking say Kelechi dey play, the landlord no even take am on his way to go watch the Naija vs. South Korea match in his friends house, na im kelechi trail am for back with cutlass, and sliced his head open. By the time dem carry am go hospital, my guy don kpomo....and uncle kelechi don skampey. Now police dey find am (that na if dem go ever catch am self...useless olokpa them)

THIS IS JUST NUTS...person just die for im own right again...abi na crime to rent house to person?...u see this is the type of attitude that a lot of we Naija peeps have...dem go dey act like say dem dey die, and they will come meet u begging for help n stuff....and by the time u need ur money or smth back, they begin to create problems and fighting u n sh** both physical ohh and spiritual :) .......WTF YO....Chai in fact i dey pray make person come try that one for where i dey......A life lost for no reason....WHAT BULL??!!!

Friday, June 25, 2010


HA HA HA Okay i saw this news online and i just thought it was mad funny......But Damn we Naija peeps are too much oh....i really do think that criminality runs in some Naija peeps genes for real...cos the kind things wey we dey do sometimes dey make me dey ask, HOW DA HECK DID SUCH THING HAPPEN???......esp my igbo and yoruba peeps...ha ha.... make una no vex shaa...just telling it like it is :)

" A prisoner, who was prosecuted by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, (EFCC) and sentenced to 15 years inprisonment in 2008 over advance fee fraud related offences (aka ‘419’), has defrauded a banker of N12million from his cell at the Kirikiri Maximum Prison, Lagos.

The prisoner, Ikechuwku Ogbu (alias Prince Eze), investigations reveal, created a 419 syndicate from inside the inner recesses of the prison, with which he had been duping unsuspecting members of the public. His forte is what is known in advance fee fraud as love scam. He advertised himself as an eligible bachelor who desperately needs a wife.

Those who responded to adverts, ended up adding to the long list of his victims. However, the riddle which EFCC operatives are trying to resolve is how a prisoner managed to place an advertorial in the love links page of the Vanguard Newspapers of March 7, 2009. In the advertorial, Ogbu wrote: “I am Prince Eze, 46, from Anambra State, live in Lagos. Genotype AA, Blood Group 0 needs a working class business lady between 39-45 to settle down with on 07057928637 or 07085350598. Several women that were desperately looking for husband called these numbers.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


You see I told u guys right from time that our Super Eagles are not good enough, and will never qualify for the second round. Some peeps start to dey even vex for me n' stuff....but now wind don blow, and fowl nyash don open nah.... I saw it coming right from time. I started smelling this problem when we started praying to hear the outcome of other countries results in order to see if we qualified for the world cup or not....which kind nonsense be that self?...We did that and were lucky to qualify to play in the world cup...And now we don enter world cup, na so so pray pray dem want make we dey pray again so that Argentina go draw with Greece or so....pray pray pray pray pray una think say na only us wey God like for this whole world wey im create?.....NNA NAWA OHH.....

Bringing in a foreign coach was the biggest mistake too..dem for don retain Amodu....Also most of these players no really send at all for these matches. They dont show any zeal or passion during the so so big boy dem dey do, and woman wey dem dey always think about :) .....Anyways Kudos to Enyiama, Shittu and Odiah for playing with all una heart. Ahhh Uncle Kanu how i go even forget u self?..shey dem been dey talk say u don old and make dem no carry u go world cup...but as u enter that field, na im dem believe u die ehh.   Anyways me wey dey here know the cure for our super eagles, but i no go talk :)   Anytime wey NFA dey serious to revive or football team, make dem contact me personally.
I just pray one day we would have a Super Eagles squad as strong and dedicated as the ones of USA 94 and Olympics 96. Chai... team wey those days, all countries dey fear to play us. May God help us juo.


A friend sent this to me and I couldnt stop just decided to share it...LMAO...but people get time to dey format this kind thing ohh...HA HA

YAKUBU (Ya-ku-bu)

v. Ya*ku*bu, Ya*ku*bu*ed, Ya*ku*bus

1. To utterly squander once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, especially one that will cause pain to/mourning among millions of people
2. To mistake a platter of gold for a potty, and to go ahead and defecate all over it, while millions watch in distress, dread and disbelief
3. To be presented with an open door of success and to woefully fail to step in (Please see actual photo of this historically disappointing event)
4. To lack the zest, fervor, and drive to complete the easiest of tasks
5. To fail awfully at a very easy and uncomplicated assignment

(Etymology: Derived from Yakubu Aiyegbeni’s horribly missed opportunities during Nigeria’s lackluster performance against South Korea at the 2010 Soccer World Cup)

"Mrs. Marriage Counselor, I am terribly pained! It was our wedding night! I was ready. . .But. . . But. . .He didn’t know what to do! I tried to help, but he Yakubu’ed!”

"All she needed to do was show up and the get the job that was waiting for her – Guess what? She Yakubu’ed the opportunity.”

Prayer: "Father, may I not Yakubu any door You open in my life in Jesus name!"

Example of the pain/mourning referenced in #1 above: “Yakubu! My unborn child won't forgive him” (Source: Acidosis)

1. Waste foolishly
2. Fritter away
3. Dissipate casually
4. Lose effortlessly
5. Waste pipe

HA HA...MAD FUNNY SH** !!!!.


You see there some complaints when the world cup started, that some South African girls have been seen walking around the streets topless, with breasts dangling up and down n' sh**..Well, me I no know wetin to talk shaa, cos if u think about it, thats their culture..and they love it too :) I'm happy even westernization hasnt made them to stop it. thats what i call "culture preservation & maintenance"....So that even in the next 20 yrs to come when cars don dey fly by then, South African babes go still dey maintain their breast flashing tradition :)

But..umm u really need liver to do this kind thing ohh.....I think I really love this culture cos it teaches a whole ot :)  like being confident in ur own body n' stuff...cos as u dey see, every babe breat for hia get their own characteristics... the ones wey dey sag ohh.... the ones wey dey stand ohh.... the ones wey dey sleep ohh... the ones wey hair just surround the nipple area.... the ones wey their nipples dey like cigar stick...and even the ones wey no get nipple at all self :)   In fact God u too much eh

Imaging say this kind thing dey happen for Naija :)   would be great for tourist attraction tho


Okay my guy was on his way to London last week, and he had a hot arguement with another passenger. Well, nobody still know wetin cause the arguement shaa. But sensing that the arguement could turn into something  bigger, and also looking at his status as a public figure, and also a Glo ambassador, D'bangj just walked away and left the guy there to dey continue to dey maraa :)

You see i do respect this guy for his action. So wetin i dey try talk here be say he sure is a smart man, and thats why he has been successful in the game too. This goes back to my toutishness theory. You see he was able to hold back the toutishness in him, cos he taught about the implications n' stuff. Afterall we all know say D'banj na agbero..leave say money don change person now :)
If to say na some other celebs or politicians wey dey think with their blockoss, dem for don fight the guy tay tay...infact dem go even dey find person wey dem go fight with self...u know say we Naija peeps, especially when we don hama, we like to dey find trouble so that we go release our favoirite pre-fight  sentence "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"     ha ha...cos that sentence dey really make some peeps fear well well ehh.
U just gotta love us for real :)


Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Battle of Musanga in House of Reps!!!.

So today as Nigerians were going to buy cardboard and crayon to do 'welcome back eagles' placards to use at the airport, we heard that the battle of musanga took place in the national assembly, precisely in the lower chamber.

A group called the 'progressive group' have been alleging that the Speaker of the House, Dimeji Bankole stole 9bnnaira! yes o! 9bn! He allegedly spent 300mill to buy 7cars! Chei!

So this group have been pushing for the impeachment of the Speaker.

The leader of the 'progressives',Dino Melaye, started the wahala when he interrupted another member who was talking and tore the paper that he had in his hand.
Na so the katakata take start.

After all the commotion, the 11 members were suspended and asked to leave the chambers, but they refused and so oga Bankole ordered them thrown out, na here the real battle come start.

them fight so-tay,them tear the cloth of 3 of the 'progressives' and the woman wey dey there midst just dey shout dey cry. People papa and mama.

the 11 members have been suspended till the end of the session i.e till June next year.

no be Fuji house of commotion, nah Assembly house of commotion.

hmmmm..... how nigeria go beta?, when na so so agbero and thief dem dey rule us.
i don talk am b4, dat our national assembly no get use. dem just dey there dey waste our money... useless people... mscheeew!

Monday, June 21, 2010


Okay this babe right here is a fast rising Nigerian Female Gospel Artiste named 'Deola. She just made headline for rejecting a multi-million naira brand deal with a Naija based Liquor company (would really love to know which company too shaa). Umm dem talk say the company contacted the babe online through her facebook fanpage, and got interested in her...but the girls been turn their multi-million naira offer down.

So when dem been contact her manager, this was what he had to say ";"'Deola is a Gospel Artiste and it will be definately be out of focus for a Gospel Artiste like 'Deola to forget the brand she is representing and go with a conflicting brand like that of a liquor company. She is focused to remain strictly Gospel. If it were to be for a soft drink deal, she would have considered the offer."

You see this is such a good news to hear, cos really HOW MANY OF US OUT THERE GET LIVER TO TURN DOWN SUCH A LUCRATIVE OFFER HUH?......for this kind time wey money don go strike finish? Well I'm really proud to see such a lady stick to her principles. God bless her jare, and the world needs to see Christians that will not do just anything to have money. Cos if it was me that got such offer....UMM..mmmmmmmmmme too would have tur....wait a minute!!...umm okay me would have come into some sort of compromise with the company shaa. Afterall i never said i dont drink alcohol :)


Okay we all know this dude made a major blunder n stuff, and that's what probably made us loose our chance of winning Greece. But come on. Its a football game. He's definitely isnt the first person to get a red card in a match, or the first person to get a red card in a crucial game, or will he be the last person to get a red card.
Yes he made a terrible mistake and he realized it, and came out and openly apologized to all Nigerians for his attitude (u see that thing wey i don dey talk about since?...I guess he's one of thos Naija peeps that couldn't hide his own toutishness). But now people don dey send am Death threats through e-mail....FOR WETIN NAH??....ITS JUST A FOOTBALL GAME FOR CHRIST why threaten the poor guy....Yes we love the game and are very passionate about it, but sometimes we like to take things too far. Or are we expecting to win the world cup?  :)
Afterall Australia played with 1 man down, and yet they scored and still didn't lose. So they shouldn't cricify the poor guy jare...In fact i think the best thing for Uncle Kaita is to go straight to his club and stay there for like 1 yr or so, if Naija doesnt make it to the next round :) ...cos we Naija peeps are crazy bout football and some peeps no go won take eye see my guy ehh. But Lets face the fact Our Super Eagles arent good enough, so lets all deal with it and stop looking for someone to absorb our frustration. I've said it and will keep on saying it......SHIKINA :)
I sure say peeps wey dey send am all these death threats na peeps wey don bet betta money or property during that game...ha ha



Abeg if any of una know anybody wey dey find wife, and i mean, as in serious applicants only...make una send them dey come this site eh ..cos I go soon open another small sector for females and males  (mainly females shaa) that are desperately in need....and yes u heard the magic word "DESPERATE".....Cos i know there are a lot of Naija dating websites online, and me no won dey like them. So thats why mine go be exclusively for those peeps who are "mad desperate." And you will definitely identify them by the kind of poses, gestures and body languages you will see in their pictures. Even the sexy and tempting clothes dem go dey wear self go make u believe ehh......cos this one no dey for sunday skul skirt them wey go cover ur knee cap, or even those jeans wey go dey do woko- woko for the babe waste.

 Just like this one wey dey here:)  You can vivdly tell she is starving, in fact droughting for a man...You see sometimes this could just be the result when an ibotic chick who becomes addicted to watching too much Beyonce and music videos.... or even an Ibotic chick who is in "desperate" need for attention :)

Where her parents dey now, dem go dey tell their friends say "My Daughter is in the University"

So if any of una dey interested, just holla me, and i go release her contact info to u...HA HA ....cos na so i go dey run this my new business line :)

Friday, June 18, 2010


Okay ohh I just been get info from a good source say the new FCT Minister don give all the Ashewo for Abuja only 24hrs ultimatum for them to evacuate the State......Umm..........LOL LOL LOL

Ahh so if this na true story, then that one go mean say problem go dey ehh. But u see no be today wey dem don start to dey barn prostitution for different parts of Naija. And one thing una suppose know be say whenever prostitution is barned anywhere, it even becomes more profitable n stuff.
Anywaya shaa as for me, all this one na just initial gra-gra wey our politicians like to dey do. We all know say na the same politicians dey patronize these Ashewo them pass...So who's trying to fool who here huh?...Dumbassess :)

Instead of them to find different measures in order to reduce the influx of prostitutes coming into Abuja on an hourly basis, then na to barn them entirely.....smcheww.
Comoe on guys....Make una use una head ohh...Prostitution no be the world's oldest profession for nothing ohh...KAA

Umm but seriously shaa, me no go lie, prostitution don reach another level for ABJ ohh...When i was in Abuja last yr, I was just amazed to see how many chicks dey come out to prostitue for DAAMN...all those their hang out joints them...Exelesio, Chrystal Lounge and others......But when i been use my eye see the Hajia Ahewo them (those ones wey dey cover their head), then na there I know say problem don dey  :) 


U see this is such a good and very motivating news ehh. Abeg make una meet Hajiya rabi'atu. She loads cement from southern to Northern Nigeria. How Amazig and awesome :)

Yes most of us know that some women drive trucks and stuff in the western world. But you gotta give this lady some kudos jare...Its not easy, especially coming from a place where the male is the dominant figure. I'm very happy that these days some Naija women no dey look Uche face again ehh...They are out there trying to hustle in a positive form. The last time it was a Keke female driver in Lagos...and now its a female trailer driver.....Come on nah, abeg make we throw hat for the lady jare....If u think say im dey easy, then go try drive trailer one day...even to reverse am self na JAMB ehh.
This news dey also sweet me cos its coming from the north...we all know say females are treated as second class citizens and stuff in the north. But this definitely shows that changes are coming for good, and hopefully it will overshadow all those backward majority peeps wey still dey for thia.

I luv it I luv it I luv it...and i hope u do too


House on the Rock Church in  Lagos State brought out N17 million to rent out a hall just for a two day service. The hall was rented at the luxurious Eko Hotel & Suites in Victoria Island, Lagos at N8.5 million a day

"The founder and Senior pastor of the church, Paul Adefarasin, (this clown right here) who preached yesterday at the Eko Expo Centre, told the elated congregation that the idea was to bring all the members of House On The Rock to a combined church service."

N17 milla to rent a hall just for 2 days?...for Christ sake whatta hell is wrong with these peeps. I've come to find out say na politicians and pastors dey spoil our country for real. Eliminate the current Naija politicians and 98% of the pastors, and i can garuantee u Naija would become a better place.
This is totally uncalled for...a so called house of God spending such ridiculous amount of money? When they can actually make use of that money in helping the needy. None of these idiots are actually following the footsteps of Christ. na so so money dem dey find. And wetin dey even pain me pass be say these pastors dont even pity the poor. They even try to collect everything from the poor and unemployed all in the name of giving to the Lord. What wickedness....
Anyways this na why me don make up my mind long time say i no dey attend any of these Naija churches jare (except pastor Eugene's aboundant life Ministiries, PH...cos na my own man be that) cos they all the same as far as I'm concerned. Pastor go dey drive with 10 convoys, but yet his own members are living in abject poverty...and u telling me this is a fair game in the eyes of God?...NAH...Criminals and touts disguising themselves as pastors...
A country wey every 1 out of 50 people be pastor/prophet/high priest/apostle/appointed one/levite/General Overseer; and 1 out of every 1 and half people dey go church; and the amount of churches go soon plenty pass our population....But yet there is no love and progress :) 
We need to start loving one another, which will inturn bring peace, and progress...shey una dey feel me nah :)


I'm not surprised at all ehh.....While other countries dey fight hard to win the world cup, our own must to dey different...always fighting about irrelevnt issues and displaying our toutish talent for the world to see :)

Two prominent officials, ASP Gideon Akinsola, the Camp Commandant and Eagles’ Coordinator, Emmanuel Attah exchanged hot words right in front of the players yesterday. The show of shame, which lasted for about ten minutes around 1.30 p.m at the entrance of Eagles’ Waterfront Hotel camp in Richards Bay, was almost getting into physical blows when Skipper Nwankwo Kanu and Dickson waded into the fracas."

LOL for this one :)
infact another LOL again jare

Our uncle Kanu almost received a head blow as ma guy been dey try seperate these ugly local buffoons. u see that thing people dey talk na true person wey dey seperate fight dey usually become the victim. Na why me no dey like seperate people wey won fight :)  infact Kanu F**k up for leave dem make dem display their talent

You see I keep on telling u guys, 99% of the so called people that are suppose to be our leaders are all touts with a mixture of retardedness join inside.... and they all need to be taken to psychia asap, and treated with caution. Fight for house, fight for road, fight for house of Rep, fight for beer palour, fight for church, fight for Aso Rock, fight for World cup..............OH NAIJA anywhere we go, we must to show our colour ehh...GREEN WHITE GREEN..........Thumbs up to us Jare :)


Monday, June 14, 2010


You see a couple of people (including my own crazy bros) have asked me why am i so pessimistic about my country and why dont I ever write anything good about Naija on ma blog.......I've sure written a lot of good stuff too...afterall catching and sacking a political criminal no be good news ke :) ....BUT LETS ALL BE HONEST FOR ONCE THO...GOOD AND POSITIVE NEWS BARELY COME OUT OF NAIJA...okay lemme put it this way...over the past three weeks, abeg can someone tell me any good thing that has happened in Naija :)  abeg just one ohh..i no even ask for two..just one:)  Ofcourse i and every other Naija critic out there love our country to death, and we go always rep Naija to the bone ehh. But you see its good to call a spade a spade...I believe not being real, failure to criticise, and too much eye service is actually what put us in the deep sh**  that we are in today. So in a nutshell, anyone who doesnt like the way i criticise my lovely Naija can come lick my moisty hairy balls :)   ha ha Edu u go dey for front

Okay just look at this news right here  "angry reactions have continued to trail Federal Government’s plan to spend N10 billion to celebrate the nation’s 50th independence anniversary."  The amount was one of the three items in the supplementary budget which the Presidency sent to the National Assembly a few days ago."so my question is this....WTF ARE WE REALLY CELEBRATING?

Like seriously N10 billion?...And you u want to tell me some of these our leaders arent either mentally ill or manipulators/criminals.....N10 billion?..when there is absence of social infrastructure and poverty and starvation has taken over the country...N10 billion?..when we are still importing fuel..... 10 billion? which could be used to create job opportunities for our youths out there, thereby hindering them from going into kidnapping n' stuff....N10 billion?...when its citizens cannot afford even two square meals a day......N10 billion and yet the Niger Delta crisis havent been solved....Celebrating with N10 billion, when only 2% of students passed this years West African School Certificate (WASC) examination?..Turining 50 and we still havent had any solution to constant electricity supply across the country?......i guess the celebration would be another opportunity for the world to laugh at us :)


Seriously there is nothing to celebrate about Naija right now. Jonathan and his gang should just fashee this whole unnecessary celebration crap and start thinking of how to address the challenges facing our country.
Or maybe this is another way to syphone money for the upcoming elections...

Jonathan you see i thought you were gonna be like our hero or smth ............But umm me don dey get double mind about u ohh. shine ya eye, and no let things dey run u juo.

But as far as I'm concerned, This na so far the dumbest news wey I don hear since this year...Our leaders cant be serious right?......GOSHHHHHH


Saturday, June 12, 2010


Umm...we did better than expected shaa, and should be happy with the score....KAA, before una been dey expect say we go win Argentina?...u dey krase? u chop vommit?
But regardless of wetin happen, i will keep on saying what i've always said right from the beginning....NAIJA IS NOT PASSING THIS FIRST ROUND....HOA HAA
The truth hurts sometimes, but we need swallow am jare....When i been dey watch the game I just dey look as our coach Largerback dey react anytime wey we almost score....just dey act like say the game mean a lot to am :)....maybe nah una wey im dey decieve with that one. Cos the truth be say my guy no really send for us ehh. Him self know say we no dey go anywhere. For im mind, my guy just dey laugh us ehh...I dey guarantee u say the only thing wey been dey im mind while the game was going on, nah how much dollars dey enter im account, and which country wey im go do vacation with im family after world cup don finish :)

Anyways shaa make i no talk too much cos anything can happen in football...afterall no be US wey just tie with overated England?.....ha ha but at the end of the day, Naija still no dey go anywhere shaa :)


"The lawmakers, according to reports, had chartered an aircraft from France for the flight to South Africa to support President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan at Friday’s opening ceremony in Johannesburg, to which the Nigeria leader was invited by President Jacob Zuma.

However, their aircraft developed landing gear fault just after take-off at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport in Lagos, and the pilot had to return quickly to base to avert disaster."

Well thankGod for their lives shaa....But... but Wait ohh....come to think about it self, WTF are 62 freaking senators going to do in SA world cup? Cos if i'm not mistaking, the last time i checked, it was only Jonathan that was invited by the SA president. So basically these monkeys are just using our taxpayers money to go to SA and enjoy themselves. When millions of people in Naija are suffering daily, then 62 people are there wasting millions of naira ...Meanwhile there's a lot of crap that needs to be taken care of back home. You see sometimes i just wonder if Naija is actually a cursed country for real. I just dont understand. 62 SENATORS FOR GOD'S SAKE?.....
Infact im be like say i go even take back my word earlier self. The plane for just kukuma crash self...this way we would have 62 criminals off the Naija gov't :) ............and yes I said so. and If u no like wetin i talk, then go nack ur head for wall.



"The daughter alleged that her father drugged her and despoiled her. But the father claimed that his daughter lured him into the abominable act.

"One day I came back from work and I met my daughter unclothed. As I was looking and admiring her, my manhood erected and I could not control myself anymore. I started caressing her, but she did not resist me, so we started the act,” Philip Ben shamelessly confessed to the Criminal Investigations Dept of the Panti" and hes been sleeping with her since she was 10

U see wetin dey pain me pass for all this kind eveil acts be say dem dey always blame devil for both the ones im do, and the ones wey im no do...i weeda fact NUF SAID.....i no won even hear why and wetin cause such act to happen, cos this one don even pass Sodom and Gomorah self....wetin........wetin self ...WTF...WTF self.....the best thing wey go happen be say make dem castrate the dude, send him to the zoo for like a yr, and then hang am finally....This is absolutely NUTS!!!! own freaking daughter?....JEEEEEEEZ.....freaking Akwa Ibom people self. The only time wey dey hear una for news must be smth wey gats to do with F***  and housegirl and houseboy dem tori...........nawa 4u una jare...(calabar peeps una no dey exempted too for this topic ohh)


Thursday, June 10, 2010


Okay you see when Jonathan appointed this Minister of finance, i was so excited and very optimistic that he would do a lot of positive stuff in Naija's financial sector. Afterall the man was a top executive in Goldman Sachs...So that one no be beans ehh.

But..ummm....ehhmm right now i no even know if i still dey believe the guy self. Okay guys...guys..guys...hear what he just said last week friday,

"Unemployment in Nigeria is running at around 19.7 percent on average, but almost half of 15-25 year olds living in urban areas are jobless, Finance Minister Olusegun Aganga said on Friday"

Umm i don dey get feeling say some of these people dey smoke too much ibo.....HOW ON EARTH IS OUR UNEMPLOYMENT 19.7% IN NAIJA. Okay now i fit personally confirm say this guy dey smoke smth...cos only person wey dey smoke too much ibo go dey jabo like this :) Cos in Lagos alone, the population of the unemployed is way more than ur figure, oga Minister.

Seriously, my guy don loose touch with reality oh. I really hope he was high when he said this...maybe we go fit forgive am...but if he was sober when he made such absurd remarks, then he needs to call back Goldman Sachs and tell them say im won come back cos them sack am from im ministerial job. Umm Maybe he wanted to say 197% :-)      or maybe turn it the other way and call it 79.1%.

Anyways its Naija for you....comma dey always dey for anything wey we do :)


Okay dem talk say unless drastic measures are taken to preserve and promote them, there is every indication that all Nigerian languages may be abandoned in favour of English in the next century. (umm i disagree with una ohh.....cos i know say youruba and hausa go survive the earthquake jare. But as for Igbo?..LOL in fact make i no talk anything

I'm not surprised at all.....when me wey dey here no fit even speak proper igbo self, then i could imagine other millions of Naija peeps out there wey worse pass me. This is a very bad, and I dont know bout u guys, but me go personally blame my parents for such act. Na so so english dem go dey speak to person for house...Na their fault jare, not mine :)

But for real i think igbo language has been contaminated. Like seriously if u see when Hausa or Youruba people dey speak their language, u no go hear any english word for their whole conversation. But if na Igbo language, 70% of the conversation get english inside am............Nna kekwanu my container.....adi'm fine.....Bia here....achoro'm this much bu this garri.....ana'm aga school......Nkechi no na admission......
English just have to be in every igbo conversation. (enli-igbo).....and like play like play, one day, we go find out say our tribe na igbo, but our language na english...that na cos igbo language go dey six feet by then :)
Abeg make all of una out there try to learn ur language well well, just like am doing :)   If u were born outside Naija, and yet u cant speak ur language, then u definitely need some serious lashing for nyash jare. And if ur parents no won teach u how to speak ur tribal language, then that one go mean say them too go need some additional lashing and counselling after that.
Pls lets not let this whole slave mentality take over us jare. i dont talk my own finish :)



Okay my Naija peeps try read the full story before una start to dey vex, dey hala, dey jabo, dey complain, dey point fingers n' stuff. Afterall no be like say our passport even get head anymore self, cos as far as i'm concerned, Naija Passport just dey like armed robber for the midst of other country dem passports. Me self don dey think of dying my passport cover to black or smth else, cos that green cover dey wey too too conspicuous and uncomfortable :)

"Due to lose immigration system in the country, findings have shown that over 30 percent of Ghanaians working in the United States of America came in with Nigerian passport. These people who have lived in Nigeria for a period of time before coming to the US and could speak one local Nigerian language and use their English names to acquire the country’s international passport. Speaking with BusinessDay in New York on Thursday, some Ghanaians who pleaded anonymity said they came to the US with Nigerian passport."

“However, with the rising rate of corruption and drop in Nigeria’s image internationally most of us who are already US citizens have dropped Nigerian passport. We have gone back to acquire Ghanaians passport”, they stated.

BU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA .........looks kinda like a use-n-dump situation.......But at least they have a very genuine reason for dumping our Pale.

According to them, wetin been ginger them to change back to their Ghanaian citizenship was because of the recognition that Obama gave to Ghana after he was sworn in as the US president. i no blame una jare

They lamented the deteriorating state of the country, stressing that Nigerians should learn from Ghana especially in their style of leadership, free and fair election and consistence in power supply.


You see I really love my Ghanaian peeps, cos whenever we make fun of them, they always hit us with a big surprise. Firstly we pursue them commot from Naija...but now they the ones chasing us away from their country......Secondly wey dey claim Super chickens, but their football team is far better than ours now......Finally we dey laugh their million this million that cedis currency, but guess what ? their currency is almost equivalent to the dollar right now....GHANAINS UNA TOO MUCH JARE.....Abeg my great Ghanaian peeps out there (Akwasi, Wil, Quakes, Fadila and co.) abeg if any of una know how I can get me a Ghanaian passport, abeg no hesitate to holla me jare.....cos desperate time calls for desperate measures :)



Saturday, June 5, 2010


I just came across this front cover of a magazine, and it got me so so mad for some reason. I still dey try to figure out whether na because of the name of the Title, or the wey the mopol just hold that umbrella so perfectly for that chopstick fella :)

You see if to say na where things dey work well, we suppose to don dey very far ahead of all countries in africa, and even China join self. China used their population to be where they are today.....But why didnt we do same. The largest black nation in the world (all na only for mouth), but yet our population workforce is just disheartning. Why we go dey invite these people to come our land dey take over all our multi-million and billion naira projects. Any small thing, we go run go meet China. Soon to even put street light for road, we go call China...Like seriously why we no fit undertake these projects ourselves?...Or na 2 heads wey these Chinese people get? Where da heck are all our so called engineers for heavens sake?.....Why are we really making them become our boss....Cos make we face the fact, wetin China even get self...Poeple wey dey sleep like 50 people for one room, or people wey dey chop rat and frog, or people wey u no fit even differentiate their men from their women self, since all of them just flat for everywhere :)  ..or people wey still dey wash their nyash with water :)

But wetin dey pain me pass be say a lot of these Chinese peeps are very racist, and when these sufferehead them come naija, people go dey call them oyibo, dey lick their balls n' shit......See as the mopol for the picture just stand upright dey hold the umbrella without mistake...and if u go make mistake go confront the hungry looking lil man nah, that mopol go just finish all im bullet for your bodi.

Its about time we start doing shyt for ourselves, and stop depending on some foreign peeps...This is just Retarded...Jeez...


Make una no mind me jare....I just felt like associating this picture with the news..cos this na obviously the next thing wey unemployment fit cause shaa :)

"UNEMPLOYED graduates in the country may soon start earning between N10,000 and N15,000 monthly salaries as a Bill seeking to provide social security for unemployed graduates and the aged scaled through a second reading yesterday at the Senate.

The Bill, entitled “An Act to provide social security for unemployed graduates and aged in Nigeria,” sponsored by Senator Anyim Udeh. Disclosing the cost implication of the scheme, Udeh told the Senators that an estimated N77 billion would be needed to run the scheme between 2011 and 2015 if the Bill was passed."
Ummm Uncle Udeh nice try shaa....But as far as i am concerned, THIS IS PURE BULLSH**
shey una won start wetin una una no fit finish?
Okay how bout this....why dont you guys use the estimated amout and invest in our government industries n' stuff, thereby creating lots of job opportunities for we Nigerians...or that one go hard for una?
HA HA ....when dem no fit even increase ordinary NYSC allowance to N10,000, then nah unemployed graduates dem won give 15K monthly?......another way to try and loot money.....LAZY CRIMINALS :)


You see i no know whether na must to go this world cup ohh, cos some people just dey do am like say if dem no go, dem go fit get heart attack that day that day eh :)

"South Africa Embassy officials in Nigeria are amazed by the number of passports sent to them by the Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) for visas. The Embassy authorities have queried what over 200 people would be doing in South Africa as delegates from Nigeria’s FA, and have subsequently denied most of them entry visas to watch the World Cup."

You see I would actually do anything in order to just find out the answer to this question "Why our things dey always dey different?"  like seriously this na very important question wey we suppose dey ask ourselves everyday, until God reveal the answer to us. All other countries have their few required amount of delegates needed to go to SA...but Naija won carry a whole village go World cup...WETIN 200 DELEGATES DEY GO DO FOR SA ABEG?......and at the end of the day, most of these vagabonds no go won come back Naija...and na so dem go come dey spoil our name for thia. If these guys wonna go to the World cup, what stops them from applying for a 1 month visa individually, like any other person going?...but dem don see Awoof.....ha ha

OHH NAIJA...I swear we should just create our own planet and live there. Cos Naija is beyond imagination :)


Thursday, June 3, 2010


For ibo, dem dey call this kind run "Osondu". Anyways I keep on telling you guys, this is what happens when u put people wey no even write WAEC in our Police force.

Cos seriously, WTF IS GOING ON HERE????

why da hell is the olokpa with two AK 47 riffles? where dem dey run go self? I wont be surprised if he was just chasing him cos he refused to sort them their normal N50, and decided to skampeh.!!

Regardless of what crime he must have committed, I'm still trying figure out why the F*** is he been chased by an armed toutish illiterate (at least this one dey wear shoe shaa...cos i've seen some wearing just bathroom slippers dey go duty)

AND THESE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE OUR FRIENDS?...LOL LOL...Welli guess since AK47 na small thing for them, soon  nah hand greneade wey dem go dey use dey kill people.  Only in Naija.....


"Pastors of the Redeemed Christian Church of God in Nigeria have started enforcing the dress code for all worshipers handed down by the General Overseer of the Church, Pastor Enoch Adeboye.

The GO, as Adeboye is called by the teeming worshipers, had announced recently that women must not wear gold trinkets, artificial hair and trousers and short skirts to church."

GO u see I dey believe you die for this kind measure wey you take. But the only thing is that I'm just wondering what must have made you decide to embark on this rule just recenlty. Or u probably don see some kind things wey u feel say go put u for temptation :) nothing do u jare....But one thing I know for sure be say once this rule start now, na im be say some peeps go feel say dulling don enter church nah :)
I know a lot of women be wearing some really crazy open attires to the house of God, like say them dey go dancehall.... and this certainly causes lots of distraction to both the male members and workers of the church. As far I am concerned, sundays to some people for Naija no be day to worship God.....for them, sunday nah fashion day ehh... fact wetin God go judge on that last day go plenty ehh
(pm news)


What a sad story...Okay This lady right here, Ifunanya Marcus found out that her boyfriend whom she has been living with for 7yrs, was cheating on her with his salesgirl. When she confronted him, my guy start to the wooze the woman with different slaps of all kinds (Typical local Naija man mentality).  Na im the woman come vex enter kitcken..and behold she came out with a knife. As in no be all this cutlery knife or those knife wey dem dey use cut okro ohh. As in when i say knife, i mean those strong better ones, like those ones dem dey use dey open peak milk n stuff (see am for urself nah..u think say i been dey lie?). Anyways she stabbed my man, and he was rushed to the hospital

"Efforts by doctors at the Badagry General Hospital and later at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital, Idi-Araba, did not yield the expected result as Chukwu died two days later."

You suppose trust our hospitals soon as he was rushed to the hospital, i knew there was no hope for him...our heath facilities are just too far behind. i no go surprise if na paracetamol dem been start to give the guy self :)
Well she regretted her actions and said, although my guy been dey batter her on a normal basis, she still loved him and would even take her life in order to bring him back......ha ha na so..I just hope say na primary school children she dey tell that one shaa :)

 Such a sad story but i believe it had a lot to teach us.....Firstly, if u living with your boyfriend for 7yrs and he still hasnt wifed ya up, then problem dey ohh, cos legally, he can see anybody he wants, since he's not yet married to ya :)  .....and also u see this na wetin domestic violence against women fit man go dey beat woman like say na im pikin...U see this whole mentality of male dominance and wifebeating is just seriously WTF????
May his soul rest in peace boyfriend don die...Ifunanya go enter kiri-kiri....nothing come do the sales girl at last shaa :(
such is life

(punch metro)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


LOL..LOL...LOL...You see i'll keep on saying it.... this is what happens when when an illiterate/tout gets hold of power.
Okay this down syndrome looking mo-fo right here is the paramount ruler in Akure, Ondo State "Deji of Akure". He was arrested during the weekend by the Police for street fighting with one of his wives.  Wetin cause the wahala be say im wife been park commot from the palace because he brought in another wife and appointed her as the head of the "Olori" (whatever the F** that is, me self no even know). So he decided to go after her, and take back all the properties and stuff he bought for her. Reaching at his wife's home with his convoy, he attempted to retrieve the Nissan Xterra which he bought for her, but the woman no gree im fight come burst ohh...and before you know it the man and the woman don tear tear each other cloth and were fighting naked. Can you imaging. A whole so called Paramount ruler. HA HA :)
Anyways i'm not surprised self, cos thats a typical local groundnut and red oil guzzling Yoruba man for you :)
Cos if this guy wasn't a tout, he would have respected his position and probably sent his boys to go do the dirty job. But i guess "no matter how u brush a dog, a dog will still remain a dog."
But Like seriously how da hell do all this touts across Naija get into power. Few days ago, it was a freaking well respected Judge that engaged into street fighting with someone...and now its this imbecile :)   And these are people that are role models in our societies?


And there is no doubt in my mind that we all Nigerians have some sort of toutility inside  us :)  some have it more than others... some can hide it, while some cant. And I also feel that most of the time, looks (especially facial looks) play a major role in identifying a tout. Just like this fool right here. So in a nutshell, the crazier, rugged and hardened looking Individuals are more likely to display much toutish tendencies than others.Anyways make i no talk again. I don give una enough tips, so u should be able to identify one when u see one :)
But if u wonna find a lot of them in one place, then go to the House of Senate, Representatives and your various State government houses..... NA there dem full scatter :)



You know After a lot of Americans became aware of the Nigerian scams through emails, They thought they could not be fooled again, since they know the tricks :) But u suppose trust our Naija boys nah...always finding new ways to beat the system :)

So when we thought it was all over, here comes a new type of scamming through Craigslist. Once upon a time when Craigslist was this very nice website were people could find room mates, apartments, buy cheap stuff, hooking up, finding a job and much more. But now Craigslist is now the best way to for Nigerians to scam people in America.
The Crazy thing is that these scammers are located mostly in Lagos, and they have their accomplices that go to collect the money from the western union, take their own share, and send the rest to the main guy wey plot the runs. Its so bad that most of the part time jobs on Craigslist are all scams....and you can tell cos its so seeing lots of grammatical errors, or seeing different job positions with the same job duties...ha ha.  The funniest shyt na when these gys call u, dem go dey try so so so so  hard to speak funneh.
I know alll these stuff cos I'm talking out of experience...LOL...abeg ohh i meant experience as in being a victim of all these email scams and even craigslist a couple of times. But dem no succeed (u suppose trust ibo man nah)....I actually do play along with them when i get their email, and by the time they have spent so much money buying recharge card to call me, thats when i just open up to them like "Oh boy infact no dey waist ur time with me jare. I just felt like playing u around all this while, so that you can see how it hurts." ....HA HA ...AINT I THE WORST :)
But on a serious note, this whole scam thing has really messed us up across the globe. Sometimes It's so shameful to even tell people I'm Nigerian, cos that makes them very security conscious when dealing with you in all aspects of life. You know sometimes i dey even wonder why on earth did i even come from such country self????....and I know you all have felt the same way too at some point :)
But at the endd of the day......U JUST GOTTA LOVE US.


Okay like a onth ago, I posted smth regarding the Naija's Gulder Celebrity showdown n' stuff. I actually saw  most of the participants as mad boring and wack (except Showkey shaa), and i didnt even bother trying to get more update about the show.
But the show don finally finish ( last) and Emeka Ike emerged as the winner. And now he will be given N7.5 million. Congrats jare, good for him tho...(ha ha the ibotic man follow dey rock NY fitted hat)
but our dear Gulder, I actuallly think it would have been great if the participants of the show were poor Nigerians out there who really need the kwudii :)
First of all I heard the show was one step higher than boring, and i dont think it had a lot of views. And secondly, Emeka-Freaking-Ike? How come?...Wetin all those other guys like Daddy Showkey and Dare them been dey do when Emeka Ika been win this thing self?....Emeka Ike wey woman strong pass :)    ....Nawa ohh...anyways my own be say thankGod the show do finish jare...waste of money and airtime on tv :)