Thursday, September 30, 2010

ANOTHER CONVERSATION WITH AN UNIDENTIFIED INEXPERIENCED YAHOO BOY :)

LOAN SCHEME

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Kent Croft

show details Sep 27 (2 days ago)

HELLO,
Our company is a very big organisation located in ireland,we just want to us this medium to let you know and want to assure you that we can help you with the loan you require as long as you can convince us that once this loan is being granted by my company you will be able to pay back the loan with no delays, how much do you need? and email me your direct cell number so that i can call you.
KENT CROFT

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alexander

to kentcolly2

show details Sep 27 (1 day ago)

Thanks for giving me this opportunity and i'm very excited. Well I'll actually need a loan of about $10,000 to start up my business.
My number is 203-479-2409.
Thanks and I look forward hearing from you. Wink Wink ;)

click below to read more

I GO DIE FOR HERE OHH.
O boy ehh see correct Chow. Two sexy wraps of pounded yam with Fish soup. And all u need is a nice cold Chivita drink to go down with it ehh. This just kinda reminds me of that song wey we dey sing back in primary skul.
Some have food but cannot eat; some can eat but have no food.....and blah blah blah blah blah
Well i guess is not the case right here, cos i love to eat, and I have food in my kitchen....but its not the freaking type of food that i want....Jeeez
Abeg anybody wey get access to this type of food shuld holla me jare, so we can discuss bout the whole shipping n' delivery process:)
Na this type wey when u chop am finish like this, u go just dey smile anyhow for no damn reason.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

MAN KILLS OKADA GUY OVER GIRLFRIEND........NAWA OHH

So guys meet Martha Godwin. She's the daughter of a soldier, and she is popularly know as "barrack gial"
Alrite Matha has a boyfriend named Umar, an okada driver
And Martha just started going out with Mohammed Erena, the son of a prominent politician in Niger state.
I'm sure this is not a surprise to us cos most babes in Naija (esp the ones from poor families) usually have 2 boyfriends at the same time.
boyfriend #1: The one wey suffer to toast the babe, finally got her, and offering her companionship and regular servicing.
boyfriend #2: The one wey no need even say PEEM!!!..cos money will do the talking, and he offers her both monetary incentives and servicing (but mainly there for monetary incentives)
Okay so as i was saying, Mohammed just came back from Jand to spend a few days in Naija, so he went to pick up Martha and they went to a local joint. So in the process of them trying to go back home, GUESS WO SHOWED UP? poor Umar the okada kid. After a heated arguement between both men, at the end of the night, Martha went with Mohammed (HA HA if na u, u no go choose mercedes over okada?). But Umar no gree ehh....so him and his friend chased them with his okada. And before u know wetin dey happen, Mohammed felt he was being insulted, so he decided to reverse and crushed Umar and his friend to death....and the funniest part was that he left Martha right there and ran sped off. LOL.
Anyways the lesson of this story be say... if u are willing to kill ur fellow man because of a woman, then u better make sure that the lady is a freaking dime piece...this way u no go regret at all, and even people wey go hear the news no go too blame u shaa :)
But if u kill ur fellow man just for a woman that looks like this right here????? Then I'll personally suggest that tires need to be put over ur head.....soak u real good with petrol, and burn ur stupid ass alive......nuff said

(sunnewsonline.com)

SHOULD WE PRAISE OR BOO HIM?????

Guys meet Dr. Ifeanyi C. Obiakor. I sure say una no know this man before...and i never knew him too. But one thing we need know is that he just finished building the largest hospital in Brooklyn NY. Even Gov. Peter Obi of anambra was even there to Commission it. What an accomplishment jare. You see this is the type of positive news that we need to be hearing about we Naija peeps around the world. To build hospital na beans? talkless of building the largest in Brooklyn ke.

Umm but come to think about it, the last time i checked, there are thousands of 1st class hospitals here in Yankee.....And at the same time, so many people back in Naija are still dying of Malaria and typhoid sickness, and lack access to even standard hospitals.
SO WHAT HAPPENED TO BUILDING SUCH HOSPITAL IN YOUR OWN HOMELAND WHERE IT IS DESPERATELY NEEDED????? .....u see this is what we talking about some of these rich Naija peeps....instead of investing in their own country, the prefer doing it outside...........freaking jerk!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

15 SCHOOL KIDS KIDNAPPED IN ABIA STATE..........

OKAY I THINK THIS WHOLE KIDNAPPING STUFF HAS CROSSED THE F**K** LINE. This was even broadcast on CNN....so that shows u how bad it was.

"Gunmen suspected to be kidnappers on Monday morning hijacked a school bus conveying 15 pupils of Abayi International School, Osisioma, near Aba to their school and took them to an unknown destination.

Investigations revealed that most of the kidnapped school children were nursery and primary school pupils.
The kidnappers were said to have demanded N20 million ransom for the release of the kids."

The Southeast (esp Abia state) is just a mess for real.....They've had the most kidnapping incidents, and yet the gov't haven't come up with any solution to solving this bullcrap.
It's just sickening to see this type of activity happen mainly in the South east region of Naija. Especially in the Igbo States.......JEEZ... And later u gonna see people still supporting for the creation of BIAFRA, cos they feel it will be the end to the igbo peeps problems.

Sick n tired of all these kidnapping bull; Sick n tired of Southeastern Naija, where nothing ever goes right; Sick n tired of all those greedy igbo peeps out there that would literally do anything just to make money; Sick n tired of the whole BIAFRAN FUCKERY; Sick n tired of Naija government for not being able to find measures to eliminate this whole kidnapping crap and protect its citizens.....I'm done with this messss

(sunnewsonline.com)

Monday, September 27, 2010

UN GIVES BABA DA DEUCES SIGN....HA HA

So our Chimpy came with four of his aides to the UN headquarters building in New York, and guess wetin happen? DEM BOUNCE MY GUY FOR GATE EHH......

However, President Obasanjo was heard begging the security operatives to let him into the building because he wanted to pay an unofficial visit to a top official of the world body, though he agreed that he only came to the United States to attend the annual Clinton Global Initiative Meeting but decided to visit the United Nations headquarters as a former Special Envoy.Our Correspondent also reported that all his pleading fell on the deaf ears of the Security Operatives who eventually invited one of their bosses in order to personally address the former Nigerian President.
HA HA MY GUY DEY BEG EHH......Anyways Mr. monkey, its like u totally forgot that u weren't in Naija.
I'm even surprised he didnt use the common Naija big man question "do you know who I am?"

Although after much begging, they finally let him in shaa.....but his aides waited outside. Well ThankGod say dem no fall im hand 100% completely.....if not I for wonder if this people no dey fear face again ehh :)

But DAYUM....for seme reason, anytime i hear a news bout this guy, i just cant help myself but say "this guy is really one ugly mo-fo for real"...DANM SON :)

(nigeriannewsservice.com)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

BACK IN DA DAYS!!!..........HA HA HA

In my own perspective, i think what makes this pic mad funny is to know that someone actually took a pic of these dudes when they were being punished......to be senior those days for skul dey sweet ohh
HA HA ...This was just one of the several punishments they used to give us back in those days for secondary skul. Shout out to all ma Navy Sec School Port Harcourt peeps jare. Like for real, the kind punishment wey man don see for military skuls no be small thing. But on a second thought, military skuls dey use style abuse children ohh......Isn't this kind of punishment suppose be for like hardened criminals n stuff....DAYUM... I did this punishment before, and one thing i gotta say bout it.... NOT COOL:(

Friday, September 24, 2010

BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY EHH :)

This na to all of una wey won enter Yankee, but scared of being rejected/denied visa at the embassy....MAKE UNA TAKE NOTE FROM THIS MY GUY RIGHT HERE :)

Basically, all u need do na to find one very good control/mugu...whether na girl oh, lady oh, Grandmumsi ohh (just like this one for hia), or even ur fellow man self :) Then sky is ur limit :)

Check out more pics below

THIS KENNIS GUY MUST BE RETARDED..........

Okay I believe we all know this guy Keke Ogungbe, who is the brain behind Kennis Music and Prime Time Africa. I used to like watching his shows n stuff back then in Naija...and I truly beleive he has contributed immensely to the Nigerian entertainment industry, and has brought out a lot of talents too.........Well, yeah yeah yeah yeah whateva
Well my guy was recently interviewed regarding his company, music and his personal life.... and this was his answer to one of the questions

Do you ever shop in Nigeria?
No, I have never shopped in Nigeria because I buy for the future. I am a boy scout. That does not mean I disrespect Nigerian shops though. I like unique things. Even when I shop abroad, I don’t go to places where Nigerians go to buy. What I buy might look the same with other people’s own, but it is not that same texture.

Ummmmm ...Mr. Kennis Music I believe i have 3 words for u........GO F**K YOURSELF !!!!!

(nigerianfilms.com)

MASS FALIURE IN NECO EXAMS AGAIN............OH NAIJA!!!

THE National Examination Council (NECO), on Monday, released the results of the June/July Senior School Certificate Examination (SSCE), which showed another poor performance by candidates that sat for the examination.

While a total of 1,143, 169 candidates registered for the examination, 1,132,357 actually sat for the examination.

A breakdown of the results showed that only 244,456 candidates passed English Language at credit level while 279,974 passed Mathematics.

This is just Boolony. ABEG WHICH KIND COUNTRY BE THIS !!! nothing just seem to be right..i mean nothing. I was in the forum online and this was what one guy said:

"I remembered those days when the front of our exercise books used to have inscription like '' scholars,exercise books and many other motivational captions'' but these days,what you see are pictures of paloma and diego,terry G,Timaya,Aki and paw-paw,Drogba,Rooney etc.how would these children learn when they are surrounded by bad influence."

LOL LOL.....and this is so true, coupled with the fact our educational system has been in coma for almost 2 decades. But at the same time, this whole NECO bullsh** shuld be eliminated jare. Cos as far as i'm concerned, its just a stupid ass joke.

(tribune.com)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

THERE IS FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.........WHO GO RUN? WHO GO STAY?

(shout out to my sis, Ada all the way from Canada for providing this pic)

ABEG ...PLEASE..ABEG.....anybody wey know the name of this Naija girl should immediately report to me. From her looks alone, i can def say she be either yoruba or igbo gial :)

BUT........ DAYUM!!!!.......All I see in this pic is "BRA CUSTOMIZATION" "BACK PAIN" "BREAST REDUCTION" "SPRING BED" "BREAST INTIMIDATION" "WEAPON" "VITA-FOAM" "UNSTEADY BALANCE" "BREAST SLICING" "BREAST MINIMIZATION" "BREAST SQUEEZING"......and all other breast related issues & tendencies :)

But Isnt life just funny? When some peeps dey find breast.... na im some other people fit use thier own open milking subsidiary. CHAI NAWA OHH

Monday, September 20, 2010

Wetin be dis?

Nah dis kain tin dey pain me, seriously.
If person wan comot from im house naked e no consign me, my own be say dat tin wey u dey sample make e day 'visually okay'.

now, make I ask one question, why e be girls wey their breast don 'slack' like maiguard slippers dey like sample am? d kain breast wey dem dey call 'fallen heroes'?

abeg, sisters, if you want sample the breast make sure e neva succumb to gravity or better still wear a bra!

another thing, this kain breast dey remind me of secondary school maths, you know, Trigonometry, when dem go ask u make you calculate Angle of Elevation and Angle of depression.

So make I ask, unah fit calculate the Angle of depression of this breast?

WOW....WOW.....WOW.........WOOOOOOW......OH NAIJA

THIS DEFINITELY GOTTA BE ONE OF THE MOST RIDICULOUS PICTURE I'VE EVER SEEN.....Pure day-time robbery. For real, I would really love to know someone that have actually put money inside that crazy looking box wey fit give person tetanus. Mobile church with loudspeaker, Generator, banner, eagle, and Offering box.........all i can say is WOW........IT JUST DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS :)

Easiest and cheapest way to start up a church business without putting much capital.......u just gotta love our people...freaking criminal minds :)

WETIN BE THIS FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!

So this eye-sore, Tunde Badmus was caught sometime last week while attempting a robbery operation. Mind you he just came out from a 3 yr jail term for robbery, and he's right back at it again.
While confessing, he started narrating how he fell in love with armed robbery, and also how whenever he went on any operation with his gang members, he was always out to rape his female victims as a seal to the success of the operation and as a means of letting out the sexual starvation/drought which he could have found difficult to satisfy normally (due to his damaged looks i believe).

But damn can u imagine being raped by this fing here......if i be woman, i go prefer make dem shoot me, than for this animal to do anyhow for my body...Like seriously tho, this dude is as ugly as sin!!!!. But on a serious not tho, I've noticed that there's more tendency for fugly peeps to become criminals than good looking peeps. and I'm still trying to figure out why? Think about it...most of the criminals, both the ones in government, and the ones that do operate in the streets do have this fugliness thingy in common :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

5 NYSC CORPERS KIDNAPPED IN PH...NAWA OHH

5 Youth corpers (4 babes and one guy) were kidnapped last two days by unknown gunmen at their corpers lodge at community secondary school in Omuma local govt area of Rivers State. (this isnt the pic of the kidnapped victims ohh....but if u look well u might see someone u know in this pic. lol)
They said the gunmen came in an SUV, shot sporadically into the air to scare away folks, and later abducted the Youth Corpers. It was heard that the police was contacted during the period of operation, and were mobilized to the scene (YEAH RIGHT). And by the time they got there, the gunmen don scampeh with their victims......ha ha, DUMBASS Naija police them :) I'm even surprised they even managed to go there self...i was expecting them to say their usual silly ass excuses like "we no get fuel for motor" or "our bullet no plentii".......
But come to think about it...WHICH KAYIN COUNTRY BE THIS SELF?.....corpers wey their allawi no dey even do them for 2 weeks....na im dem dey kidnap them...na crime to serve ur papa land again....THIS IS PURE BULLSH** AND UNACCEPTABLE......and its so painful to know that the Naija govt havent been able to find measures to eliminate this whole kidnapping crap for over three yrs now......this is just sickening jare.

DRINKING WITH SENIOR MAN.....U WON TRY???

Abeg anybody get idea of wetin dey happen for this picture? It looks mad creepy yo....i no even know whether na Militant or Masquerade be that? Cos u see these days u cannot even differentiate which is which, cos they both be dressing alike...all dem red colour sh** n stuff.
But seriously tho.... WTF is going on here????..nawa ohh.
But damn.... life is crazy....I could remember those child hood days during x-mas and easter period, when all them wierd ass looking Masquerades be coming out on the streets dancing and collecting money from drivers like say na mandatory rule......HA HA Naija is really one damn funny country.

Friday, September 17, 2010

EXCLUSIVE PIC #2

OH BOY SEE RULES and REGULATIONS EH........this nah some real mad funny sh**

"To dey show small pikin blue film?"

HA HA HA HA HA .....it doesnt get better than that. First of all, i would really luv to know who still says "blue film" in freaking 2010?

Although this na very important and serious rule, but for some reason i just find everything about it freaking hilarious....the rules, the cartoon...everything ehh....Naija people no go kill me juo

AUNTY OMOTALA 'S ALBUM RELEASE PICTURES ...ME LIKE :)

Our aunty Omotala just released some promotional pics, for her new album, which will be released sometime next week......U see i dont know why people too get strong head.....WHY DONT THESE PEOPLE STICK TO ACTING.....i think its easier for a musician to become a good actor...but its devastating to see and actor turn musician...Like seriously
Anyways wetin concern me self..make i focus on wetin make me dey write this thingy...ehen, her pictures :) and all i can say is.....
in fact make i no even talk anything, cos i know say my wife dey read these postings on a regular basis :)

anyways click to check out the pics

EXCLUSIVE PIC #1

(Big shout out to my co-author Omada AKA Idoma girl for providing me with the ridiculous exclusive pics (straight out of Naija) which I'll be posting over the next few days....

U see i don dey begin to believe say some people dey actually think through their bluckoss....like seriously WTF is this ????.....No wonder plenty peeps no dey ever patronize our homemade goods. So of all names wey dey this world, nah name of phone wey dem decide to give this pams.....and later dem go expect make person come buy, and to dey wear this kind thing for leg....

NNA NAWA TO SOME NAIJA MANUFACTURERS JUO....una no dey try at all ...... this one don pass falling of hand

watch out for more pics 2morrow :)

Lace Wig

Una go talk say my wahala too much. I like women, I like African women with big yansh and big juggs, I like Nigerian women, I love say dem sabi cook and sabi take care of man but one thing wey I hate na 9ja women for na dem "WEAVE and WIG mentality".

One chicka wey I dey mess with back in the days just call me about 2 weeks ago, we gist small until she break the news oooo..

Girl : E get one thing wey I need make you do for me

Wale: If e dey my power, no wahala

Girl: No worry abeg I no wan wahala you, I know say America tough this time

Wale: Why you go say make I no worry?

Girl: Ok (hesitating)...hmmm, e get one of my friends wey dey wed

Wale: Wetin come happen

Girl: I wan buy lace wig for the occassion

Wale: Lace??? Why you wear Ankara wey u get? Na today?

Girl; No, this one na wig oooo and e cost 150,000 naira

Wale: WHAT???? I dey come make I google the kain wig wey be the cost of one MBA class

Girl: U no go see the picture

Wale: I go call you later... I dey enter tunnel (run comot phone sharp-sharp)

Girl: Thanks

Na hin I start to dey google lace wig oooo. My expectation be say, the wig must get gold or diamond accent, the wig must fit drive and must fit fry eggs. Eventually I see the picture ooo, e be like say " dem tie wrapper for head".

Why person go put 150,000 naira do hair? On top that, una go still WOWO like shit. Me I tire 9ja girls oooo

NKEM MINAJ?????

Chineke meh!!!

I love my 9ja people but sometimes I just wan blow the country up with the way wey we dey take do copy-copy for our fashion. I stopped complaining when I see people in 1000 degrees Fahrenheit 9ja wearing hoodies, skull-hat , timberland boots and leather pants.

Since Nicki Minaj came up with the idea of dressing bourgeoise/fantasy, some people for America don dey dress which we are OK with.

Na hin I see Nkem Minaj for on top one DVD box na hin I holla say "Na by force".

Since this generation don dey messed up already, I dey fear for our pikin OOO

Wedding Gift List

Wonders shall never especially in a country like 9ja.

In socially developed nations, a wedding gifts register is put together by the couple implying what types of gifts they would appreciate and this culture is wholeheartedly embraced.

Since 9ja levels don dey step up nah, we sef don dey arrange list of wetinn we go appreciate make people give us.

Everything was fine until I see one wedding list wey just SHOCK me my brodas and sistas; my conclusion be say either these people wey wan marry be thief, or dem get plot of land wey dem wan do cos dem landlord dey wahala dem ass or dem no just know wetin they worry them.

I fear for the kain pikin wey go go born ooo